Nine
She did go home for a little bit, and then showed up at the café a few hours into my shift. I’d been looking up and waiting to see her.
“She’s not here yet,” Daisy said the fortieth time I’d done it. Since it was currently slow, I’d joined her in the bakery for a little while, helping to mix frosting and glaze for cupcakes, pastries, and other confections. She wouldn’t give me the pastry bag and let me decorate any of them yet, but I had hope by the end of the summer she might. Daisy could be a little bit of a control freak in her bakery. Which was fair, I guessed.
“I know,” I said, going back to sifting confectioner’s sugar into the mixing bowl.
“You are completely head over ass, aren’t you?” she said and I wanted to protest, but she was pretty much right.
“I mean . . . it’s complicated.” Daisy wiped her cheek, which only smeared more frosting on it.
“Isn’t it always? What are you going to do?” I’d given her the basic story of what had happened last night. I didn’t feel bad telling Daisy, considering she’d sort of been through a similar thing with her current girlfriend, Molly. They too had been best friends growing up, but they had only kissed once and hadn’t really gotten together until years later. Still, she could offer me some valuable advice. And things had worked out for her, which was ideal.
“I don’t know. I haven’t had a time to process it. Not even staying up all night and thinking about all the possibilities. And I want to do the right thing, but I don’t know what the right thing is.” Daisy thought about that as I turned the mixer on and watched the glaze come together. She tapped my arm to tell me when it was at the right consistency. I turned off the machine.
“What if you thought about what you wanted, instead of what was right? I mean, if you only made decisions about what to do based on what was right, you’d never do anything reckless or risky.” That was true. And I hadn’t done much that was reckless or risky in my life. That just wasn’t my style. Maybe that needed to change.
“Just think about what you want. What you want your life to look like. Is Fiona in it? Picture your ideal life and then act accordingly.” That gave me a lot to think about and I just happened to look up and see Fiona walk through the door. The sun lit her up and it was like I’d been punched in the heart.
“I wish you could see your face right now,” Daisy said, but her voice sounded like it was coming from far away. I found myself walking out from behind the bakery half-wall and moving toward her. I was covered in sugar and butter and vanilla, but I didn’t care.
“Hi,” I said, as if we were the only two people in the café.
“Hey,” she said, the cutest smile on her face. She had another dress on, a short yellow one with a full skirt that looked like it would be great for dancing and twirling.
I pictured us dancing together, me swirling her under my arm even though she was the taller of the two of us. We’d danced that way before. Prom. My brain was ripping me into the past, reminding me of how beautiful she’d been in that silky green dress.
It had been perfect. Absolutely perfect.
We blinked at teach other and then both started laughing.
“I missed you,” I blurted out. It had literally been a few hours, but I had missed her. Ridiculous.
“I missed you,” she said and I realized I should probably show her to a table and let her sit down.
“Oh, sorry.” I looked around and found that one of the smallest little iron tables was free. The café was a conglomeration of things that didn’t seem to go together but did. I loved the shabby chic and comfy vibe.
I seated her and she picked up a menu.
“I didn’t get a chance to look last time,” she said about the menu.
“Okay, cool. Take your time. As much as you need. No rush.” I was losing it. I could feel my cheeks getting red.
“Okay,” she said, also blushing a little. Secondhand blushing. I dashed back to the bakery without asking if she wanted something to drink.
“You are the absolute cutest, I could die,” Daisy said, resting her chin on her hands.
“Shut up,” I said, willing my cheeks to stop burning. “It’s not like that.”
“It’s like something, my dear,” she said with a wink.
It certainly was.
*^*^*
She was still there at the end of my shift. She’d pulled a book out of her purse, a giant non-fiction tome that she seemed to be halfway through. I couldn’t stop sneaking peeks at her while she was reading. I also wanted to borrow the book when she was done.
I finished my side work and made sure that everything was done before I washed my hands, took my apron off, and grabbed my bag. She was still engrossed in her book, so I had to tap her on the shoulder to get her attention.
“Were you waiting for me?” I asked, since to assume would be a little presumptuous.
“Yeah. I just decided to take a day off from . . . everything and read. I don’t do that enough.” I wasn’t sure what she did with her time when she was home. Her parents worked during the day, so I assumed it was very lonely, and her sister was ten years older, so she was off living her own life. Trista had gone as far away from home as she could and married a man from Belize, which her parents weren’t thrilled about. I was thrilled for her.
“You should relax, especially when it’s summer. I think I should help you with your relaxing,” I said. “We can make a list! Or a spreadsheet!” I loved both lists and spreadsheets and electronic documents. I loved tracking everything from my homework to my life goals. It made me feel like I had a handle on things when mostly I didn’t. My goals might be more abstract, like “get an internship” and “buy a house”, but they did have deadlines that I planned on sticking to.
Fi rolled her eyes.
“Okay, okay. I’ll let you make me a list. But no scheduling. That gives me anxiety.” I sat down with her and she pulled out a notebook from her bag, turning to a fresh page.
“I want to read twenty books this summer,” she said, patting the enormous tome. I raised my eyebrows.
“Books that thick?” I asked.
“Well, not all this thick. I’ve got some shorter ones in ebook.” That sounded more do-able. I motioned with my hand for her to write it down.
“You have a much better chance of doing it if you write it down.” She thought and then a slow smile took over her face. She wrote deliberately slowly and then crossed the item out before turning the notebook so I could read it.
Kiss a cute girl.
Well. That was adorable and made my heart flutter.
“You dork,” I said.
“Hey, it’s something I did.” I laughed and then told her to get on with it. She added going to the beach and swimming at least ten times, eating as much ice cream as she could, spending an entire day in bed, going on a road trip, catching up on all the shows she was behind on, and going out in public without underwear.
The last thing was more of a joke, but she wrote it down when I said it, so it was on the list. And I was blushing my face off.
“See? That’s plenty. You’re already working on the reading, so let’s tick another one off the list. How about we get some ice cream?” She closed the notebook and nodded.