Gabe slid his fingers beneath the hem of his shirt then hesitated.

This wouldn’t do.

Tristan didn’t want Gabe hesitating over anything. He snared Gabe’s other hand and squeezed. “Look, I know it’s been a long time for me, and from what I can see you’ve got, like, a porn star penis, but I’m not stupid. If it hurts, I’ll tell you, and we’ll slow down. Promise.”

He wanted Gabe inside him so badly he ached with it, but he’d had a few regrettable fucks, and he didn’t want any regrets with Gabe. Not a single one, and definitely not their first time.

His reassurances seemed to relax Gabe. He squeezed Tristan’s hand in return, then let go and the shirt was gone.

Gabe’s sculpted torso was a thing of beauty. Tan and waxed, perfectly defined pecs with dusky nipples, a six-pack that was teasing toward being eight, and a lovely V that disappeared into the top of his jeans. His broad shoulders were muscled without being obnoxious, and Tristan could not stop staring.

“Wow,” was all he managed.

“Good wow?”

“Great wow.”

Tristan ran his palms up the length of Gabe’s arms, wrists to shoulders, exploring the hills and valleys of the body on display for him. Enjoying the soft, warm skin over taut muscle, attention drawn back to Gabe’s nipples. He bent his head and swept his tongue over the left one. Gabe made a soft, happy noise, so Tristan did it again. The small bud hardened under his attention. He bit down gently. Gabe gasped. Fingers threaded into Tristan’s hair, urging him to continue.

He licked his way to the other nipple and gave it equal attention, nipping with teeth and rolling it with his tongue. With his free hand, Tristan worked Gabe’s belt and fly. He shoved jeans and briefs down, releasing his ultimate target. He stroked Gabe’s cock while he worked his nipples, beyond turned on by the noises Gabe made. The hand not in Tristan’s hair was yanking at his own belt and fly, and then that hand—someone else’s hand—was on Tristan’s cock.

Tristan bit down from the shock of it all, a little too hard, because Gabe shouted and wrested his head away. Up into a tongue-lashing kiss that nearly made Tristan come on the spot. So much sensation all at once. His entire body was alive in a way he couldn’t remember it ever being before. Not with anyone.

He pulled away long enough to remove the rest of his clothes, while Gabe did the same. They were both naked and Tristan could only think of one thing. He pushed Gabe toward the bed, then down to sit so Tristan could kneel between his legs. Gabe’s thick cock was a challenge for his hand, barely able to close his fingers completely around the base of it. He couldn’t wait to get his mouth around it.

“Tristan, hold up a second,” Gabe said.

He did, looking up without letting go of his prize. “You are not going to tell me you don’t like blowjobs.”

“No, I do. And I know this isn’t the best timing for this conversation, but we haven’t really had it.”

“What conversation?”

Gabe tilted his head while he stroked Tristan’s cheek with one hand. “About STDs. I mean, I know you’ve lived in a medical bubble for the last three years, but I haven’t.”

Unease slithered in his gut. “Why? Do you have something I should know about?”

“No.”

Tristan’s anxiety eased. “So what’s the problem?”

“When you were in college, didn’t you ever ask before you fucked a guy?”

“No. But I used condoms. That’s like totally common sense.”

“Good.” Gabe cupped both cheeks and pressed his forehead to Tristan’s. “I want you safe.”

“I’ve never felt safer, Gabe. I know you won’t hurt me.”

Something flickered in Gabe’s eyes, an emotion Tristan couldn’t identify. Then Gabe kissed him, a slow and sensual slide of his mouth and tongue, reenergizing Tristan for the task literally in hand. Stomach quivering with anticipation and nerves, Tristan broke the kiss so he could flick out his tongue for a taste of Gabe’s cock.

The bitter taste of precome was quickly followed by the musky flavor of Gabe himself. Tristan pressed his nose to the thick, neatly trimmed nest of black pubes around the base of his cock, inhaling Gabe’s scent. It filled his nose and mouth and made his own cock pulse with need.

God, I have missed this.

He took the tip into his mouth and sucked around the crown, listening for Gabe’s frequent gasps, pants and whispers of “oh fuck”. Nothing mattered more in that moment than getting as much of Gabe into his mouth as he could. He inched down, velvet heat sliding against his tongue and the roof of his mouth, stretching his lips and jaw. He relaxed his throat with instinctive ease—something he’d learned and not forgotten despite lack of practice. Tristan held his breath and took Gabe in. All the way, until his lips hit his fist.

“Oh shit!”

Tristan held still until he needed air, popping off with a gasp, eyes watering. Gabe gaped at him with open admiration. So Tristan did it again, pride warming his chest, thrilled to be giving Gabe such pleasure, and Gabe wasn’t shy with his words. Tristan deep-throated him once more then began sucking his cock with abandon. Memorizing the taste and texture of Gabe’s cock, the way different licks and nips drew different sounds out of Gabe.

He held Gabe’s cock out of the way and attacked his balls, sucking one, and then the other into his mouth. Gabe’s gasps and pleas spurred him on, and he licked at Gabe’s taint. Gabe lay back and hiked his feet up, clearly on board with Tristan’s next destination. The waxed balls should have prepared him for a perfectly hairless asshole. Hairy guys or hairless guys, Tristan never cared as long as he was somewhat attracted to him. Something about every part of Gabe being smooth except for his head and pubes only made Tristan want him more.

Gabe’s scent was even stronger now, everything more intense. More real. He pulled Gabe’s cheeks apart and flicked his tongue against Gabe’s hole.

“Fuck!”

Tristan licked harder, teasing the puckered opening with his tongue, pressing flat against it. A sharper musk joined the medley of tastes and scents, and Tristan existed in the pure pleasure of it, while Gabe writhed and cussed and gave Tristan exactly what he wanted—Gabe about to fall apart.

Gabe wrestled himself away with a breathless, “Fuck. Don’t want to come yet.”

Tristan laughed and wiped his mouth. “Enjoyed that?”

“You have no fucking idea how much. Get up here.”

He climbed onto the bed. Gabe had him on his back, his knees hiked up around Gabe’s hips, before he really registered the move, and the dizzying speed made him laugh again. His cock rubbed against Gabe’s. So good. Gabe kissed him, tongue plunging into his mouth. God, he would never tire of kissing Gabe.

Gabe must have had similar thoughts, because he kissed his way down Tristan’s throat. He paused to lave each nipple, but didn’t stay long. Tristan’s nipples weren’t really an erogenous zone for him, and Gabe figured it out. He dipped his tongue into Tristan’s navel, and Tristan squealed at how ticklish it was. Gabe explored his abdomen more, and Tristan kind of hated the way his hips jutted out and his belly was sort of concave. He was too skinny, but Gabe didn’t seem to care.

“Please,” Tristan said.

Gabe glanced up. “Please what?”

“Please suck me.” He’d beg if he had to. It had been too damned long.

The sly smile his request produced made Tristan’s stomach jump. “If you insist.”

“Oh I do.”

Tristan intended to watch, but the moment Gabe’s lips closed around his cock, Tristan threw his head back and gave in to the wet heat slowly, insistently driving him mad. Gabe knew what he was doing. Long licks, hard sucking, using hands and mouth together in an orchestra of motions that had pleasure burning inside of Tristan so brightly he had to close his eyes. He couldn’t do anything except feel.

And then his balls. Oh God, his balls were being sucked on and played with, and it was so fucking good. A finger rubbed his taint, a glorious buzz of sensation that went straight to his cock, and Tristan jerked his hips. Then he pressed down into it, because he loved that so much. He tried to tell Gabe so but all he could manage were sounds. Positive, joyful sounds, and he hoped it was enough. His body was a live wire, open and alive, and it was almost too much at once.

That wicked finger slid lower, pressing against Tristan’s hole.

“Yes, please, God,” he babbled.

Gabe rubbed at his entrance while he returned to sucking his cock, and little sparks of pure pleasure danced through his body. Tristan thrust his hips, needing more of both. Needing more pressure on his cock and in his ass, and Gabe teased just enough to drive him insane.

“Fuck me. Please, Gabe.”

“Soon.” No single word had ever sounded sexier to Tristan. Gabe gave his cock another lick, then sat up, away from Tristan. “Be right back. I need supplies.”

Tristan didn’t want him to leave. What if he leaves and my memory has a hiccup? Please, not right now. His entire body was coiled tight, ready for release, his cock hard and wet against his tight belly.

Gabe returned quickly with a couple of condoms and a pump bottle of lube. His tan skin glistened with perspiration, and he stood at the foot of the bed like Tristan’s own personal sex god come to life. So beautiful.

He put the lube and condoms on the nightstand, then knee-walked his way across the bed to Tristan. “Hands and knees, sunshine,” he said.

Sunshine. Yes.

Tristan had never changed positions faster in his life. His cock hung low, only air on it now, and he was desperate for Gabe to touch him. To get him off. Except he needed this first. He needed the stretch and burn, and then the oh so good. He needed Gabe inside of him with such an intensity that it might have scared him if he didn’t feel so fucking good.

He cried out at the first press of a tongue against his hole. He loved getting rimmed, and Gabe knew what the fuck he was doing. Tristan closed his eyes, hands bunched in the duvet, and rode out the warring sensations of being licked, stabbed and swirled with a tongue, all colliding together to make him crazy. Softening him, getting him wet and ready. He dropped a litany of “Please, please, please,” that became one long word with no real ending. Gabe tugged on his cock and rolled his balls while he worshiped Tristan’s ass.

A finger joined Gabe’s tongue, followed soon by two, and it was too much and not enough and Tristan didn’t know anymore what he wanted, except to come. He really wanted to come, only Gabe wasn’t letting him.

Gabe kissed the small of his back. “How do you want me?”

“Like this. Please.” He loved nothing more than a guy draped over his back, fucking him into the mattress. Except maybe standing up and getting fucked over a dining table. That was a good memory.

Gabe snagged the lube and a condom. Tristan listened to the foil packet tearing open. The pump of the lube bottle. The soft, sticky sound of Gabe rubbing it on the condom. More pumping. The cool lube against his ass made Tristan jump. Gabe pushed a finger inside, getting him ready. This part Tristan knew well—the prep. The actual fucking was always something brand new, different with every guy.

Every single thing about being with Gabe was amazing. This would be the same.

Gabe clutched his left hip. Blunt heat pressed against Tristan’s entrance. The instant stretch, bordering on a burn, made him gasp. Perspiration prickled all along his shoulders and back. Gabe pushed in a bit, then pulled back. A little farther each time, taking it painfully, beautifully slow, filling Tristan more with each new thrust.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Tristan relaxed and bore down, fighting the need to impale himself and be done, because he didn’t want anything about this to hurt. “Shit, so good.”

Gabe gave a few shallow thrusts that made Tristan gasp hard. He loved this, and he’d missed this, and Christ, how much more was there? He braced himself on one elbow so he could reach behind. Gabe was only halfway in.

“More,” Tristan said.

“I don’t want to hurt you.” The strain in Gabe’s voice made Tristan’s heart pound. He was holding so much back for Tristan’s sake.

“You aren’t. Please.”

Gabe pressed in deeper. Tristan dipped his belly toward the bed, lifting his ass higher, giving Gabe a better angle. So much. So deep. So fucking good.

Tristan lost himself to the sensations bombarding his body. To the smell of musk and sex and sweat. To the heat emanating from the man behind him. To the glorious stretch and fullness in his ass. His cock and balls hummed with pleasure, warning him they wouldn’t survive the onslaught much longer.

Not until Gabe really fucks me.

He pushed back, onto Gabe, earning a deep moan. Gabe squeezed both hips hard enough to bruise. “Fucking fuck me already,” Tristan said.

Gabe slid one hand up to curl around Tristan’s shoulder. “You sure?”

“Yes. You feel so good, Gabe, please.”

He draped his broad body over Tristan’s back and planted a hard, sideways kiss on him. The angle shifted his cock a little, and Tristan’s balls tingled. He was rock hard and so close.

Gabe planted his hands on either side of Tristan’s elbows and rocked his hips. Tristan held on, everything telescoping into the thick cock sliding in and out of his ass, the heat of Gabe’s body, the slick of sweat and the pleasure pooling in his balls. Tingling at the base of his spine. Warning him of his own climax too damned soon. One touch to his cock and he’d be gone. He pressed his cheek against the duvet and existed in that perfect moment.

An arm wrapped around his waist, holding his back firmly to Gabe’s chest. Fingers splayed across his belly. Gabe nipped his shoulder, and Tristan felt that in his balls. He cried out, so desperate for release and unable to move to claim it. As if he knew, Gabe thrust deeper than ever, and then started jacking Tristan’s cock.

Tristan shouted as his release rolled over him in waves, heating him all over, everything going hot and tight before relaxing again. His belly trembled and he couldn’t get enough air to breathe. He barely stayed upright, but he did have the presence of mind to grab Gabe’s hip before he could pull out.

“Come in me,” he said.

Gabe stroked him once more before releasing his spent cock. “Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

Tristan was ready for whatever Gabe needed, but after four hard thrusts, he groaned long and loud, then stilled. Gabe dropped soft kisses along Tristan’s back and shoulders, reawakening already sensitized skin. He wanted the moment to last forever and hated that it would be gone in a few hours.

Gabe pulled out slowly, and yeah it kind of stung a little but it was the best kind of discomfort. Tristan flopped onto his stomach, his trembling limbs unable to support him. Gabe was gone a moment, probably to dump the condom on the floor. Then he turned Tristan onto his side and curled up behind him, arms around his waist, both palms flattening out over his heart, a shared pillow beneath their heads. Gabe kissed his neck again, breath puffing against his damp skin. Tristan knew deep down that he’d never been so happy, protected and safe in his life.

I could stay like this always.

“How are you?” Gabe whispered.

“Perfect.”

He chuffed laughter. “That’s a high compliment.”

“Thank you for tonight. For this and whatever we did together before this.”

“Thank you, Tristan. I know our lives can’t be compared, but before I met you, I was alone too.”

“We met by accident, right?”

“Sort of. Do you recall anything about it?”

Tristan closed his eyes and pictured Gabe’s face. Backgrounds shifted. Walking outdoors. A tiled wall. A restaurant setting. Nothing specific or familiar. Then music. Dance music. “Did we meet at a party?”

“Close. A nightclub.”

“Big Dick’s?”

Gabe startled. “You remember?”

“Well, no, but it’s the best known gay club in Harrisburg. So it was Big Dick’s?”

“Yes. The first time we met, you went there alone and you got really confused so Noel came to get you. The second time, Noel and Shane brought you for your birthday and we spent all night dancing.”

Warmth settled in Tristan’s belly. “Good. I love dancing.” And because teasing Gabe was fun, he added, “Were you any good?”

Gabe laughed and kissed his shoulder. “Not as good as you.”

“Good answer.” Tristan twisted around to his other side, because he wanted every single memory he could make of Gabe’s face. Especially his blissed out, postsex face of rosy cheeks, puffy lips and sleepy eyes. “Hi.”

“Hey.” Gabe stroked his cheek with the tip of his finger. “As much as I’d love to take a nap with you, I’m scared you’ll forget me when you wake up.”

Tristan’s heart fluttered. “Me too. But my memory is getting better. I know that.”

“It is. You’re part of a clinical drug trial, and you’re getting better every day. You’re retaining things longer, and you’re able to recall things.”

“Want to know something ironic? For my sophomore psychology class, I did a paper on improving memory loss. No one really knows for sure how our memories work, so it’s hard to know how to fix faulty ones. One school of thought is that our brain retains everything it’s exposed to, from images to sensations to sounds, but the functionality of our memory limits the amount of information that we can actually recall once the moment has passed.”

Gabe stared at him, and yeah, not very sexy pillow talk, but still relevant. “Is that what you think?”

“It makes the most sense. It means that the accident severely limited my recollection ability, but it also means the information is there. It’s possible that I could start to remember things from days, months, maybe years ago. I like believing that one day I’ll remember all of the time we’ve spent together.”

“Then I’ll believe that too.”

He kissed Gabe for that. A soft press of lips because it felt like the right thing.

Gabe grinned, but it dimmed quickly. “I hate that I have to take you back to Benfield.”

“Me too. But not for a while, right?”

“No, not for a while.”

Tristan snuggled up closer and tucked his head under Gabe’s chin, enjoying every moment of togetherness that they had. The shift also reminded him of his sore, still lubey ass. No way was he going back to Benfield in that state. Not that he wasn’t proud of Gabe, but some of the more conservative nurses might freak out.

“You want to take a shower together?” Gabe asked. “The one in my dads’ room is big enough for two.”

“In a bit. Can you just…hold me for a while?”

Gabe’s arms tightened around his waist. “As long as you want.”