Present

“Did you know Dad sold the company in order to put me through school?” I asked Grandma Joan as soon as I walked through her door.

“Oh, dear.” She glanced at me over her reading glasses. “Who told you?”

“Doesn’t matter. Why didn’t you?” I took a seat across from her, watching as she poured tea into the second cup and slid it over to me.

“Because you would have dropped out.”

“I would’ve found another way to pay for school. I could’ve transferred. It isn’t like I needed to graduate from that specific school.”

“You dreamed of going there your entire life.”

“Because we had money and I thought it was possible, not because . . .” I shook my head and stopped talking as tears swam in my eyes. I blinked in an effort to hold them back, but then Grandma Joan slid her hand over mine, and it was no use. “I feel responsible.”

“You aren’t.”

“I’m the reason Mom and Dad became so unhappy they decided they couldn’t live together,” I said. “You have to see that. The reason Mom filed for divorce and is dating a man young enough to be my brother. The reason one of the most hardworking, respectable families there was is suddenly no more.”

“This was exactly why we didn’t tell you. It’s exactly why you need to take that opportunity in Paris.”

“I never said I wasn’t going to take Paris,” I said with a little too much defiance in my voice. I swallowed and toned it down a bit. “I’m sorry. I’m just . . . I feel lied to.”

“You were lied to for a good reason.”

“Does Celia know?” I closed my eyes. God. If my siblings knew I would really feel like an asshole. I understood on some level that it wasn’t my call, but it made me feel responsible. Our parents couldn’t handle the debt or the sale of the company and it broke them. Our entire family split apart because of this. Because of me and my stupid little girl dream to go to Yale when, really, I could have gotten my degree anywhere. I got degrees in fashion design and marketing, neither of which was going to change the world, but they did change my life and not for the better thus far. I said this aloud. Grandma Joan tisked.

“You’re not looking at the bigger picture,” she said. “None of this is your fault. Did debt put a strain in your parents’ marriage?” She shrugged. “Probably. That doesn’t mean it’s the reason the marriage fell apart.”

It was true. A part of me knew and believed it. The other part, the childish one that wanted to hold on to the idea that her parents would be married until one of them died, wanted to continue to argue.

“How long is the apprenticeship in New York versus Paris?” she asked, veering off the subject.

“They’re both one year.”

“Both paid.”

I nodded. Took a sip of coffee. “Both paid.”

“I saw Rowan the other day.”

I blinked at the sudden change of subject. “Yeah, he’s been around.”

“Have you seen him?”

“A few times.”

“And? Any sparks?”

I smiled and glanced away, but didn’t answer.

“Mm-hmm.”

“He thinks I’m dating Sam,” I blurted out.

“You little devil.” Her face was priceless before she started to laugh but then sobered. “What ever happened to that blonde girl you didn’t get along with? Camryn.”

“Who knows.” It was a lie. I lurked on Camryn’s Insta here and there. You know what they say about enemies and all that jazz. “She travels a lot.”

“Hm. I never liked that girl.”

“She has that effect on people.”

“What does that boy see in her?” Grandma Joan shook her head in distaste. I’d cried to her once when Rowan was already away in college because I’d heard Camryn had finally made her move and made it count. I wasn’t sure if the rumors were one hundred percent true, but it didn’t matter. The fact that they were swirling was enough to hurt. “He’s the whole package. She’s . . .”

“Hot, blonde, smart, and slutty.” I shrugged. She was. Nothing wrong with any of those qualities.

Sooner or later, she’d settle down, and she’d been wanting to do it with Rowan for so long I was sure it would happen. He and I had a fling. A short, temporary fling. That was all. I needed to keep categorizing it as such to keep my head right. We’d never work. Besides, he’d have a new love in his life soon: Hawthorne Industries. Making money was his first love. Any woman he settled down with would always be his mistress. Women like Camryn were okay with that because it was what they saw growing up. She’d doll up and accompany him to galas and be perfectly content spending her day at the spa and the mall on his dime. Nothing wrong with that either. I said this to Grandma Joan and shot her a look, daring her to trash talk. She’d been Camryn in her day. She knew better than to say anything distasteful, but in true Joan form, she spoke up anyway.

“That life gets old quickly. Soon she’ll be luring the help or his colleagues to bed while he spends his nights at the office.” She shot me a look of her own. “Trust me, I know.”

What a life she’d lived, my grandma. She’d been every woman’s nightmare back in her day and offered no apologies for it. Grandma had inherited a nice chunk of money from her first husband and a winery from my grandpa. I wasn’t sure how one got tired of inheriting successful companies, but I wasn’t about to find out. I was content living the lavish life vicariously through Celia. My phone vibrated, and to my surprise, I realized someone was actually calling me. I glanced at the screen and saw a picture of Rowan that I’d taken six years ago. He looked so . . . different. I hesitated, my hand on the phone.

“Answer his call, dear. Men like that don’t wait.”

I hit the red button and sent the call to voice mail. I knew my worth. It wasn’t my fault that he hadn’t seen it.