I closed my eyes and inhaled the scent of pine that surrounded me. It may have reminded the rest of the world of Christmas, but for me, it was the smell of home. I opened my eyes and let out a deep, cleansing breath before continuing toward the red canoe. I pushed it away from the dock and climbed in just as the tip glided into the water, picking up the paddle and making my way to my favorite relaxing spot. I went slowly, enjoying the way the paddle felt as it sliced through the still water. When I finally reached the little bank in the middle of the lake, I pulled the paddle in, made sure it was secure, and laid back to let my muscles relax.

I used to go much farther than this without complaints from my shoulders, which told me I was definitely not in shape like I used to be. It didn’t help that I paddled by myself. Usually, Freddie or Celia helped. Then again, usually, canoes and jet skis filled the lake, and out farther, sailboats dotted against the skyline. I guess that was what happened when everyone in the neighborhood grew up together. They got older and started their lives and left at the same time.

I kept my eyes closed and tried to force my brain to think about something else, something positive, but it was no use. Being back only brought on old memories. Not that they were all bad. I’d had a pretty damn good home life before Dad decided to sell to Hawthorne. Still, I had great friends, most of who had graduated college and gone onto grad school or were getting married. Even my memories of Rowan made me smile most days. I thought about what Sam said to me yesterday. Maybe I could be friends with him again, who knows? My canoe rocked lightly, and my eyes popped open. I gripped both sides and sat up quickly, twisting to see who was out here. It could be the people in charge of cleaning up the water, though, judging from how clean it was, I’d bet money they had already done it. I brought my hand up to shield the sun from my face and squinted in the direction of a bright blue canoe. My heart sped up.

From where I sat, I couldn’t tell if it was Sam or Rowan, but I would know that canoe anywhere. Unlike mine, theirs was a professional vessel. A single scull, Rowan had once told me. That was the official term for it. The kind they used in the Olympics. The kind that took me more than a handful of tries to get a handle on but Rowan maneuvered as if it were his own skin. He called it Miles. Miles was blue and shiny and made you not want to look away from it once it rowed past you, much like his owner. Rowan had been on the crew team in high school and college. I’d woken up more than enough times at four a.m. and accompanied him to tournaments. Heck, even after we’d gone our separate ways, I’d heard that he’d gotten Columbia more than a few trophies as captain. I wasn’t surprised one bit.

As he got closer, I settled into a more comfortable position and willed my heart to stop acting like a rabbit being chased. The single scull kissed the side of my nameless wooden canoe as Rowan expertly situated himself beside me. I made myself look at him, and my breath caught. He’d always been gorgeous, but damn. I wasn’t sure many people could top Rowan. I dated a football player in college, but even he paled in comparison. Maybe it was because, for some crazy reason and despite myself and what I wanted, I felt connected to Rowan on a deeper level.

“It’s quiet out here,” he said.

I glanced away from his tempting, bare chest and focusing on the seemingly endless water before us. “It was.”

“You trying to kick me out, Sprite?”

My heart did a little dip. I’d hated that nickname when I was young. I’d always thought it was a way to make fun of me and my small, slightly pointy ears, but hearing it stirred up something deep inside me.

Don’t fall for it, Tess. Don’t you dare fall for it.

“Even I know I don’t have the power to kick Poseidon out of the water.”

He chuckled, and I leaned back in my canoe, closing my eyes once again. The soft scuff of fabric against wood told me he was doing the same. “I’m not used to this being so empty in the summer.”

“Everyone’s gone.”

“Why do you think that is? We all grew up here. Have had a pretty good life. Why did we all leave?”

I sat up. “I don’t know. Why’d you leave?”

“School.” He frowned as if he wanted to add something. I would’ve bet money it was to get away from his family, the way most of us wanted to do during that time.

“Most of us left for the same reason.”

“But not everyone is willing to come back.”

“Are you coming back?”

“I’m already back. I would’ve been back sooner, but I wanted to finish my master’s degree before coming back.” He watched me closely. “Are you?”

“I have nothing to come back for.” I turned away and faced the sun again, adjusting my bikini top as I did.

“What about your family? You’ve always been tight-knit.”

I scoffed, wondering if all the time he’d spent outdoors rowing had messed up his brain. Surely, he knew my family was completely and utterly broken. Even if he hadn’t heard it from Sam, this was a small enough community for him to have heard the rumors. Hell, I couldn’t walk down the street without hearing whispers about it. Between that and the rumors about Camryn and Rowan getting cozy in college, I’d spent an entire year with my head down. What was worse was the way people talked about them, as if they knew they were destined to be together and were glad they’d finally figured it out. It made me want to scream, “What am I? Chopped liver?” I never would, of course, but the words were always on the tip of my tongue.

“How’s your dad?” I asked, staying on topic. I didn’t care whether his mother was doing well or not. As far as I was concerned, she was dead to me after the last conversation we’d had. He looked away, placing his elbows on either side of his canoe. I tried not to focus on the way every single muscle on his back and arms flexed with each motion.

“I’m sure you’ve heard from my brother.”

“I want to hear it from you.”

His attention whipped in my direction. “Why?”

“Because I want the real version, not the watered-down version that pretends the world is a beautiful place.”

“I thought you liked that about Sam.” His gaze held mine with intensity, like he knew something I wasn’t telling him. It threatened to pull me under. To make me want to snatch all the lies back, put them in a bottle, and put a cork in it. I cleared my throat. He didn’t deserve my truth. He hadn’t earned that much from me yet.

“Tell me.”

“Dad’s fine, as usual. Mom, however, is an emotional mess,” he said. My brows rose. He chuckled. “I know. I never thought I’d see the day. I think she’s told me she loves me more in the last six months than she has my entire life.”

My heart felt heavy at his admission. His parents had really done a number on him and Samson. Somehow, they’d settled on extreme ends of the social ladder, but the outcome was the same. They both felt like they were unloved, as if they weren’t enough. I’d never understand how two people could have such beautiful children and let them grow up to feel that way.

“Dad has practically moved on with his new family, as if none of us existed. I meet with him in the mornings, but it’s strictly work. I’m sure I’ll see less of him when the division is complete.”

My attention whipped to him, and I narrowed my eyes. “What division?”

“They’re getting a divorce and splitting up Hawthorne Fabrics.”

“What?” My heart climbed into my throat as I fought to digest the news. “After everything?”

“It was inevitable. They should have never merged their companies to begin with. All it did was create . . .” His voice drifted as he continued his rant.

My brain stayed stuck on the fact that they were splitting up Hawthorne Fabrics. My hands gripped the paddle and, as if on autopilot, I started to row back to the shore. I could hear Rowan’s voice behind me, but I couldn’t make out his words. My father sold his company, everything he’d worked for, and they were splitting it up as if it were nothing to them. Because of a lousy divorce? It was stupid. The entire thing was stupid, and the Hawthorne’s were cursed. I reached the dock and scrambled out of the canoe, tripping over my feet as I did so. Thankfully, I managed to stay upright and keep walking.

“Tessa!” Rowan shouted behind me. I kept moving. Maybe if I picked up my feet fast enough, I’d make it back without having to speak another word to him. I was leaving in two and a half weeks. Surely, I could avoid him until then. Surely, he wouldn’t hound me everywhere I went. He gripped my arm and spun me around. I met his fiery gaze, eyes wide.

“What the hell? I was talking to you.”

“I was done listening.”

“Tough luck. You can’t just walk away when you have a problem with reality.”

I scoffed. “Look who’s talking. The king of running away from things he’s afraid of!”

“I don’t run away.” He stepped closer, looming over me, the heat of his skin kissing across my own. “And I’m not afraid of anything.”

“You’re afraid of everything!” I screamed, slapping a flat hand over his hard chest. “Everything.”

“Bullshit. You’re the one who’s always afraid.” He pushed his chest against my hand, which was still lingering on his chest, a stupid excuse of a barrier, especially when all I could think about was the way his warm, muscled chest felt beneath my touch. “You’re afraid of leaving, afraid of staying behind, you’re always stuck in a state of guilt for every decision you make because you’re too fucking afraid to follow what your own heart wants.”

I pursed my lips, ironically still stuck between storming away and keeping my hand right where it was.

“Tell me I’m wrong,” he challenged. “Tell me you didn’t pick the university I told you not to go to because you were afraid you’d follow me and we’d actually have a shot at something real.”

“I did follow my heart! I went to my dream school. The school I’d wanted to go to long before you walked into my life.” I brought my other hand up and pushed him hard. He didn’t budge. He just pressed against both of my trembling hands. “And for the record, you wouldn’t know real if it smacked you in the face. That was why you broke things off with me, and that was why you chose Camryn.”

He growled, and in one swift motion, he grabbed me around the waist, dragged my body flush against his, and ducked his head. His mouth crushed against mine so hard and fast that I was forced to bring my hands up to his biceps and hold on. I’d kissed Rowan thousands of times, but this kiss was unlike any other. This kiss made the air swoosh out of my lungs. His tongue swept into my mouth and demanded I bend to its will, stroking mine with a precision that made Leonardo da Vinci’s brush pale in comparison. He slid his fingers into my hair and massaged my scalp as he commanded the kiss. I heard myself moan, felt the liquid heat between my thighs, and gripped his muscled arms tighter. He pulled back slightly and teased my lips with light nips. It was then that my eyes popped open. I ripped my mouth from his and pushed him away.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” I shouted, panting. He stared at me with an odd expression on his face, as if he wasn’t sure where he was standing or how he’d gotten there. When he didn’t respond, I turned and sprinted away as fast as my wobbly legs and sandaled feet would allow.