Chapter Fourteen
Autumn
Four days later
He was parked at the far side of the lot, leaning against the hood of a rental car, looking out over the icebound lake. Little rivers of melt water ran underneath the surface of the ice, spreading out patterns that always reminded me of fireworks, fingers and tendrils that looked so beautiful, but carried a hidden danger underneath. There hadn’t been any deaths this year, or the year before that, but the year prior, Casey Langley's dad punched through the ice during a midnight ice-fishing run. Some said it must have been a suicide, why else would an experienced guy like Mike go out after a thaw like that, but Casey swore her dad would never do such a thing, leave her mom like that.
It was one of those mysteries that tugged at the seams of a community, little tragedies that made up the fabric of our town. Woven in sorrows and joys too. Like when I'd come down here to my Grandpa's property with Cole, the night we both graduated from high school. He’d spread my blanket out on the sandy shore — much like he'd done on Christmas Eve — and laid me down beneath him. It had been the first, and the last time we’d made love, right up until a few days ago. And I'd always remember the look on his face as moved above me, a mixture of pure animal rawness and almost reverent desire.
He’d looked at me that way Christmas Eve, too.
He hadn't seen me pull up yet, which gave me a moment to take in his long figure. His hands were tucked in the pockets of his peacoat and he had a gray scarf wrapped around his neck. It looked expensive. Like cashmere, or maybe silk. I couldn't tell, I couldn't afford those types of fabrics on my kindergarten teacher salary. I tried very, very hard not to get angry about that cashmere scarf, and instead chose to be angry at him again. And angry at myself for letting him in again. Eight years had gone by and I was still having to cut Cole out of my heart the way you slice a bruise off an otherwise good apple. How could he forget everything he came from? And worse, how could I keep making excuses for why that was all okay?
As I watched, he snatched the woolen cap off of his head and ran his fingers through his air. The weak sun filtering through the tree branches was enough to enliven the highlights of auburn that hid like secrets within his chestnut hair. My mother had crowed so much about that hair. “You and that boy," she’d said. “You’re gonna give me grandbabies with the most beautiful hair in the world." She’d said that as she played with her own ditch water blonde locks. "Sure as hell ain't fair for hair like that to be wasted on a man."
“Wrong, mama,” I whispered in my brain. “It's not wasted.”
I took a step forward, and as my boot crunched down, he slid off the hood of his car and turned to face me. With a start, I realized that I hadn't yet seen him out in full daylight. Our only meetings had been in the flickering fluorescent light of the convenience store, the dark shadows of Reese’s Pub, and then the flickering firelight as we made love. As we had sex, I mean. As we fucked.
Yes. That.
In the full light of the winter sun, he was beautiful. There is no other word to describe the way he looked. Even in his winter gear, with nearly every inch of his skin hidden, there was still no mistaking the power of the body underneath. I wavered for a moment, wondering if he looked better with or without clothes. It was a disturbing choice to have to make.
I opened my mouth to greet him, wish him a Happy New Year, get down to business with the real estate deal, be civil, be professional and all that...
But he beat me to the punch.
"I know why you’re pissed at me," he called across the lot.
I stopped short and nearly tripped over my own feet. It was shades of the convenience store all over again. Thank God I had no eggs in my hand. "Why?" I called, for lack of any better way to respond.
"I get it,” he said, striding towards me. The edges of his unbuttoned coat flared out like a cape behind him and I suddenly saw him as a superhero. Or super villain. I wasn’t even certain any more. “I understand,” he went on. “And I'm going to fix it.”
I stopped and waited for him to reach me. He came right up to me, only stopping short when I raised my palm and pressed it against his chest. I needed him to stay at arm’s length. It was the only way... “I’m not testing you,” I told him firmly.
"You are," he said casually. Like that was a normal state of affairs. "And that's okay."
I blinked, and my hand fell away. “Because you're going to fix it?"
"Exactly."
I sighed in exasperation. "Honestly Cole? Why bother?”
My words seemed to cut him more deeply than I meant them to. "Why bother?" he echoed. "Because you promised me."
"Promised you what?"
"That we were starting over." There was a haunted look in his eyes that hadn't been there a second ago.
I took a deep breath in, held it, clenching my fists and then released it like I'd learned in yoga class. "Cole. Baby. I was in the middle of having an orgasm. I would've promised anything. I didn't even know what I was saying."
"But you said it. And you meant it. And I meant it too.”
I shook my head. “No, I’m not interested in a long-distance relationship with the guy who's coming to poach my grandpa's land,” I lashed out in a sudden outburst that caught me by surprise. So much for being calm and professional. "I'm not looking to renew a relationship with a man who’s forgotten what happened down on the beach and what it should mean to him."
"It means everything to me. And I am telling you that I will buy your grandpa’s land. Me. Not my firm.”
“What?"
"This has been a long time coming, but I've only just realized that now. My board, they don't know what they're doing. I'm tired of having to justify the kinds of deals that are actually going to make the kind of long-term, sustainable growth I’m after. So I’m going it alone. As of today.”
“Cole, I don’t understand any of this.”
He took my hand and raised it to his lips. ”Autumn, I’m ready to buy. That is, if you're still selling."
"Won’t your company hate you?"
"I put in my notice this morning."
"You did what?”
He kissed my hand again. "I sent my driver home to his family and got this rental until I can buy my brother's truck. I also arranged with a realtor to sell my apartment. Housing is so cheap here. I’ve been on the phone all week, and I just found the perfect place to sublet for the season. Once the sale of my apartment goes through, I can buy my own place right in town. Or even up in the hills, with lots of land, and lots of room for guests.”
I felt like my brain had turned to mush. "You're coming back?"
He nodded and there wasn’t a hint of joking in his eyes. ”I was serious when I said I was starting over. My Christmas present was finding you again. Being with you would be the best possible start to the new year. What do you say, Autumn?"
"What do you want to do with my grandfather's land?” I whispered.
He nodded and started ticking things off on his fingers one by one. “Open space. A gazebo, a pier for fishing. Playground for the kids. A town park with just a small parcel off over there,” he pointed, "for cafes and gift shops. That row of shops will be the flagship building for the start of Granger Development."
“Holy shit.”
He took my hand again. “You said you wouldn’t sell to someone who didn’t remember the meaning of this land. I want to make it available to everyone. Does that satisfy your conditions for selling?”
My mouth was completely dry. ”I think so, yeah."
"Good. I’ll have my lawyer draw up the paperwork and we can go tell your grandpa together. It'll be nice to see the old guy. I wonder, does even remember me?"
My powers of speech recovered slightly. I smiled and reached up to run my fingers through his hair. It really was just as silky as I remembered. ”Of course he remembers you,” I said. “Everyone does. It's a small freaking town, Cole. There are no secrets here.”
"Then I'm going to start spreading the word. ‘Autumn and Cole are back together again.’ I figure everyone will probably know within a day or so, right?"
I smiled and snuggled up to him. “It's cold, people are staying in their houses more. Give it two days at least."
He kissed the top of my head. "Two days then,” he repeated. "Happy New Year babe. I'm so excited for it to start."