“So, Trish,” I start as we’re sitting alone in the library later that night, “you sounded so cryptic on the phone yesterday. What do you want to talk with me about?”

When we were young, the library was our place. Many of my childhood memories with Trish happened right here.

I frown at my friend as she starts to fidget in her seat, my glass of white wine raised halfway to my mouth.

“What’s wrong? I’ve never seen you this nervous before.”

“I’m just not sure where to start,” she mumbles as she takes a sip from her glass of water.

I choose my words carefully as I place my drink down on the small table next to my seat and get up. Once I’ve reached her side, I kneel down in front of her and take her hand.

“How far along are you?”

Her head snaps up and I glance at her stomach.

“Remember, I’ve been where you are, honey. I know all the signs. Plus, the fact you’ve had nothing but water since you got here speaks volumes.”

“Laura…”

Her lips tremble as I smile softly at her.

“Come on, talk to me, please.”

She bursts into tears.

“I don’t know what to do.”

I push up on my knees and hug her to me, rubbing her back in soothing circles as I try to ease her anxiety.

“Have you taken a test?”

She nods against my shoulder.

“Okay,” I try again, “how many tests have you taken?”

She sniffles harder.

“Three.”

“Then I think it’s safe to say that you need to get an appointment with your doctor and find out how far along you are,” I whisper and sit back slowly.

I wipe the tears away from her cheeks, and we sit quietly for some time.

“I don’t know if I want it,” she whispers then.

The uncertainty I see in her eyes reminds me of how I felt when I learned I was pregnant with Ailith.

“Whatever you decide, I’ll be by your side, sweetie. I promise. Do you hear me?”

She nods slowly as she takes a shaky breath.

Time to ask the next difficult question.

“Who’s the father, Trish?”

She looks to the ceiling and huffs.

“Alex.”

My eyes shoot up in surprise.

“Alex? Are you sure? What about Charles?”

She smiles sadly at me.

“I’ve only had unprotected sex once, Laura,” she sniffles, “and that was when I met Alex.”

“How long ago was that?” I ask. “You never told me.”

“About two months ago.”

I cross my legs in front of her.

“You never know if Charles’ condom broke.”

“He always used two.”

My mouth pops open in shock.

“Two?”

Snorting, she shakes her head at me.

“He was so bloody anal about it,” she laughs, tears running down her cheeks. “I doubt even he has strong enough swimmers to penetrate two of those fuckers.”

I try to beat back my giggle, but I can’t. Once Trish joins in, it’s damn near impossible. For a while, we sit and laugh together, but little by little, it dies down.

“Promise me you’ll go with me?” she asks, her voice so small, devoid of its usual exuberance.

“Of course.” I grab her hand and give it a tight squeeze. “Just text me when and where, and I’ll be there.”

“Thank you.”

“Always,” I whisper, feeling a little teary myself.

“Anyway,” Trish blows out a long breath, “enough about me. I need to know all there is to know about your new boy toy.”

I feel the blush creeping up on my neck as she waggles her eyebrows at me.

“He’s not a boy toy,” I scoff. “We’re…dating.”

Her low squeal as she wiggles her bum in her chair sets my laughter going again.

“Stop,” I beg.

“Oh, no, I’m definitely not going to do that. I need details! Everything.”

I try to gather my thoughts, only the blush deepens when I think back on our heavy make-out session earlier today. And last night.

“I’ve never—ever—had such intense, mind-blowing, all-consuming orgasms,” I giggle. “It’s like his hands and his mouth,” I groan, “know just which pressure points to touch to make me go completely insane with lust. Phew!”

Her mouth falls slack as she hangs on my every word.

“Keep going,” she murmurs, waving her hand at me, “I need more.”

I turn to grab my wine glass and take a long sip before I rest back on my arms, crossing my feet. I look up at her from underneath my lashes.

“His cock is pierced.”

“Shut. Up!”

“So is his tongue…and his left nipple!”

“Oh, my God!” she shouts, making me double over, overcome with laughter.

“Shh, don’t wake up the house,” I admonish her between hiccups.

“Wow,” she whisper-hisses, “and I thought Alex was hot as sin, but it doesn’t seem like he can hold a candle to Kristian.”

As his story about Rose enters my mind, sadness for Kristian and his family tear the amusement away.

“There’s a lot more to him than that,” I whisper, staring intently into my friend’s eyes. As I watch her gaze soften, I wet my lips. “He’s patient, and kind…funny and sweet. It’s like he’s the whole package, Trish. It’s like meeting him has woken me up from the longest, haziest dream. Whereas I used to dream in black and white, I dream in colours again.”

“Oh, sweetie…”

“But,” I sit up straighter, “that’s kind of how I felt with James in the beginning, Trish. It’s not the same, not exactly, but close. I know that Kristian will never hurt me or Ailith, I do. But at the same time, the strength of my feelings towards him scares the crap out of me.”

“Opening up your heart after years of hurt is scary,” Trish sighs.

Her quiet voice grabs my attention.

“That doesn’t mean it won’t be worth it in the end, though.”

I nod at her common sense.

“I know. But everything is moving so fast between us. I think that’s what worries me the most.”

“Do you think it’s going too fast between you?”

Do I?

“No,” I whisper and run a hand over my face. “Not when we’re together. It’s just that, when we’re not, my sensibilities return, and I start to second guess everything.”

“Hmm…”

I frown at her as she picks up her phone.

“What does that hmm mean?” I ask her suspiciously as she swipes the screen.

“Oh, nothing,” she mutters, avoiding my gaze. “I’m just going to Google famous couples who’re still going at it years later, even though they married after having had a whirlwind of a romance.”

“Trish!” I snap. “You can’t compare me and Kristian to any of them.”

Her playful wink makes me shake my head in frustration.

“Maybe not, but it can’t hurt, can it?”

Groaning, I rub my eyes, pressing my palms into my eye sockets.

“I’m just teasing you, babe.”

Sighing, I nod, still hiding from her.

“Laura?”

I take a peek through my fingers.

“Trust your instincts,” she whispers. “You’re not a twenty-five-year-old bored girl anymore—you know all the signs to watch out for. If Kristian makes you feel desired and wanted, enjoy it. Nurture whatever it is the two of you are growing, and don’t hold back. And from the way I saw him looking at you over dinner tonight?”

I take a deep breath as I wait for her answer.

“He’s into you, babe. I mean, completely and utterly gone for you. I’m surprised the stars in his eyes didn’t strike me or something—they were that blinding.”

“Oh, stop it.”

I scrunch up my nose even though my belly does maddening flips at her words.

“It’s true,” she sighs as she leans back in her chair. “Just wait and see. I’m always right about these things.”

“I hope you’re right this time,” I whisper. “This time, it means so much more than it has before.”

“Good luck, babe.”

As we raise our glasses in a silent toast, I try to push away my anxieties.

I focus on the way Kristian makes me feel, and the yearning I feel to go to him comes close to overpowering me. It’s completely irrational, and I know I won’t give in. Definitely not tonight.

Tonight is about being a mummy—not a girlfriend who can’t keep her hormones in check.

* * *

“Are you eating properly?”

My mum’s worried voice makes me shake my head, amused by her fussing.

“Yes,” I laugh as I start to park my car. “Don’t worry, I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” she persists.

“How are things at home?” I ask instead, hoping that’ll divert her attention for a while.

“Oh, they’re the same,” she sighs. “Nothing much happens around here, you know that. But I like my new Zumba classes.”

My hand pauses on the ignition. “Your what?”

“Zumba classes. I told you about them the last time we spoke, Kristian. Don’t you remember?”

Fuck no.

“Right, of course,” I mumble instead and turn off the car. “I’m glad you’re enjoying them. I hear it’s great for exercise and…stuff.”

“It is, but I’m worried about you. When Lise told me you’d moved out to go live on a farm,” she laughs, “I couldn’t believe it. What on earth are you going to do out there?”

I can’t say I’m surprised she’s having a hard time picturing me in the countryside. I’ve always been a city boy.

Until recently, that is.

“Actually, I like it there. My flat is big, it’s very peaceful, and the fresh air will do me good.”

So will the company.

“Hmm. Well, as long as you’re happy, I guess. Are you still coming home for good at Christmas? I miss you.”

I frown at her question, which is a bit trickier to answer. If all goes according to plan, I won’t be moving back to Denmark, but telling Mum that is out of the question. At least for the time being.

“That’s the plan,” I hedge, barely managing not to cringe because I just lied to my own mother.

“Okay, well, I’m going to send you a care package this week. Can you text me your new address?”

“Mum, I’m not a twelve-year-old boy away on summer camp,” I grumble good-naturedly as I get out of the car to walk the last bit to the tattoo parlour. I curse under my breath at the rain pelting down—summer is officially over in Scotland.

“I know that,” she huffs, “but can’t a mother spoil her son every once in a while even though he’s a grown-up?”

“Fine,” I grin, clutching my leather jacket. “Listen, it’s raining like cats and dogs, and I’m running late for work, so I need to dash.”

“Okay, but don’t forget to text me, Kristian. Love you, bye.”

“Bye, Mum.”

I pull out the hands-free from my ear and toss my phone in my pocket as I make a run for it, dodging the throng of people around me. Thankfully, it doesn’t take me long to get to the shop, and when I notice Alex at the counter, I let myself inside.

“You’ve got some fucking explaining to do, lad,” Alex booms.

“Aren’t you going to let me breathe for ten seconds before the interrogation starts?” I gripe and shut the door. I glance at the clock, relieved there’s still ten minutes left until we open.

The scowl on my boss’s face as he turns to look at me, arms crossed over his bulky chest, doesn’t bode well.

“Nope.”

“You look like hell,” I mutter and go to the office to hang up my jacket.

“Don’t change the subject. You better have one hell of an excuse for making me lose money by bailing on me yesterday.”

With my back to him, I wince. I feel bad for causing him problems, but I don’t regret my decision. On a low sigh, I turn around to meet his furious eyes.

“I’m sorry, Alex.”

He blinks, clearly not expecting me to apologise.

I stop in the middle of the shop and push my damp hair away from my face. On a low sigh, I look down, unsure of how much to tell him.

“Look,” I raise my head at him, “I know it’s fucked up, and I know I lost you a lot of money, but I don’t feel right about explaining all that happened in detail.”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Alex growls as he shifts his feet, widening his stance. “You better come up with something better than that.”

Sighing, I raise my hands, palms out.

“I had to pick up Laura’s daughter from a friend’s house, and the state she was in—the hurt and pain they were both in—was so strong that I didn’t want to leave them alone. They needed me.”

“Fuck,” he breathes loudly as the fight seems to leave him and he drops his arms to hang down at his sides. “Did something happen to the wee girl? Is she hurt?”

I shake my head and push my hands into my back pockets.

“Physically, she’s okay. Emotionally, though? I don’t know.”

He rubs his beard and inhales a shaky breath.

“Right, okay, but is this going to be a recurring thing now? Because I can’t afford that in the long run, Kristian.”

I frown.

“I hope like fuck it won’t happen again soon, but I can’t make any promises, Alex. If my girls need me, I’m going to go running. That won’t change.”

“Fuck,” he whispers before he turns to walk back to his station. Wearily, I follow close behind him, watching him as he picks up some of his things, the silence stretching out between us.

Finally, he puts his arms on the back of a chair and, still frowning, he rests his head as his gaze scrutinises me. I don’t flinch from his hard stare.

“Apology accepted,” he exhales loudly.

“Thank you.”

“Look, I understand why you couldn’t make it, but if it happens too often, I’m not sure if you can stay working for me. I’m sorry, but it won’t be good for business.”

“But –,”

“However, let’s play it by ear, yeah?”

Nodding, I breathe a small sigh of relief.

“Sure.”

“Good.” He jerks his chin at the door behind me. “Now, get the shop open, and while we wait for your first client, tell me more about Laura and her daughter.”

Wearily, I shake my head at him and walk to the door.

“You’re worse than an old biddy,” I grumble, “always wanting me to tell you everything about the women in my life.”

“Well, your life is much more interesting than mine, lad, so is that so strange? Start talking.”

Grinning, I turn the sign from Closed to Open, and then I set to work.