I sat on the edge of the bed trying to do up my cufflinks. Helena sat opposite the huge mirror on the makeup table in her walk-in closet, her hair pulled back and her body wrapped in a silver, silk robe. I could see her focusing on her face, applying deft strokes to highlight her exquisite features, polishing herself immaculately for the black-tie charity event we were promised to.
“What’s wrong, darling?” she asked me after she’d seen me struggle with the same cuff for five minutes.
“Damn things are just too tricky,” I complained. “I guess that means I’m getting old?”
I tried to make light of it, but the truth was I was shaking with anxiety. In spite of what we’d decided, I couldn’t stop thinking about Paige. I just couldn’t get her out of my mind.And the truth was I didn’t want to. I watched Helena stand up and shake off the shiny fabric that covered her, leaving her standing in nothing but a black lace thong.
Her slender body curved so gracefully around the small swell of her breast to curve down into the most intoxicating butt and long, shapely legs. Her skin was lightly tanned and still flawless, despite having just passed thirty-six, and the way she moved, even as she was merely selecting the right little black cocktail dress, was so elegant and measured. She was pure class all the way, a beautiful lady, but was still able to exude that hidden undertone of raw sexuality. The kind of thing that came in real handy for making rich men do almost anything she asked them to.
I watched her slide one stunning leg into her dress, followed by another, then turn and offer me a dazzling smile as she stood up and smoothed the material down over her body. “Getting a good view?” she asked as she effortlessly slipped on a pair of expensive black heels.
“Beautiful, as always,” I told her. Not long ago, just watching her get ready would have been enough to make me hard and desperate to be inside her. I was never allowed to mess her up if it was an occasion we had to attend, so it often led to some bathroom escapade or in-car blow job once we’d put in an appearance. And if t wasn’t a mandatory event, we’d normally find ourselves distracted and not showing up at all.
So why, then, as she moved so charmingly toward me, looking so stunning, did I only wish I was with Paige.
“Zip me up, would you?” Helena purred, turning so her bare, slender back to face me. I rose from the bed and managed, eventually, to fasten her zipper. “Okay, that’s it,” she snapped, turning around. “Now I know something’s wrong. I can’t remember the last time I asked you to do that and you didn’t unhook me and caresses my breasts. Where are you?”
“I’m fine, I promise,” I lied, “I just have somethings on my mind.”
“Are you sure you don’t mean ‘someone’?” She reached down and took my hands in hers. “My God, you’re shaking.”
“I’m sorry, baby,” I smiled weakly, bringing her down to sit beside me on the bed again. “I don’t know how it happened. I love you so much and I didn’t set out to find anyone else. I promise.”
“I believe you,” she said quietly, still holding my hands. “It’s that girl from the club, isn’t it? The one in the nurse’s outfit?”
“Turns out she’s one of my senior students,” I managed a small chuckle. “And I had no idea.”
I told Helena about finding Paige while she was crying and taking her to the studio. About shooting her and what it led to. I don’t know if I expected Helena to be angry. It didn’t seem like her. I know I didn’t expect her to be so tolerant, though. “How did you know it was her?”
“Darling, I know you better than anyone,” she smiled, “better than you know yourself, I think. I could tell your head was elsewhere these last few weeks. I knew it was her because I saw that look on your face when you looked at the picture. And I knew from the picture itself.”
“Knew what?”
“I knew our time was up,” she nodded. “The last time you made that face when you looked at a picture, it was a picture of me. And the last time you took a picture as good as that, it was of me as well.”
“You’re not mad?” I asked her.
“Why would I be mad? What good would that do? We had a wonderful marriage but if it’s over, it’s over. To force you to stay with me would just cause you painwhich, in turn, would lead you to hurt me.”
“I’m sorry, my love,” I said, looking right into her eyes.
“I’m sorry, too,” she replied. “I am sorry to lose you. But we both agreed to never get in the way of each other’s happiness.”
I leaned in to kiss her. Our lips met and I felt that spark, that charge of electricity that I always got from kissing her. She responded with a deep moan but we both knew this was the last kiss. A big part of me didn’t want it to end. I loved Helena. We’d enjoyed the best years of our lives together but she was right. She was always right. She knew that if we stayed together I’d still be thinking of Paige and, even if that memory disappeared, the feeling of wanting someone else never would.
“Go, my love,” Helena whispered as our lips parted.
I couldn’t think of anything to say in response, except, “You’ll make my excuses at the gala?” It was pathetic but it made her laugh. She nodded and I dashed out of the bedroom. I grabbed my jacket as I left and went out to find Paige, the cuffs of my dress shirt still open.