Chapter Four
After days of intensive interviewing of candidates, Hailey was back in Braintree exchanging the package with a secretary who seemed inappropriately amused by the confusion. Hailey shrugged her reaction off. Nothing was going to ruin her mood that day. She’d left Skye at the main house with her new teacher. Mrs. Holihen was a multilingual retired teacher in her sixties who had not only taught college-level courses on early childhood development, but was also a grandmother. Her easy smile and quick wit were selling points, but Hailey’s decision had been made when Delinda had asked her where she imagined herself in a few years. Mrs. Holihen had said, “Hopefully spending more time with my grandchildren and perhaps tutoring on the side. Our goal is for Skye to return to school, isn’t it?”
“Yes,” Hailey had said.
“I can’t imagine how difficult the past year was on her, but children need to be around other children, don’t they? They’re happiest when they have friends.”
“I want that for her,” Hailey had said barely above a whisper. She was beginning to believe it was within reach for Skye again.
With a nearly identical gift-wrapped package in her hand, Hailey walked out of the office smiling. Things are finally turning around.
“Hailey?” a male voice asked.
Hailey came to an abrupt halt. Her eyes raked over the man. The boy she’d known was gone. His shoulders were broader, his features more defined, but the biggest change was in his eyes. There was a hardness she would have never associated with him. “Spencer?”
“Holy shit, it is you.” He stepped closer. The frown on his face was anything but welcoming.
Unexpected desire shot through her. She stepped back. Her body remembered his and craved it with an intensity that scared her. I should feel nothing after all this time. “Holy shit. You can say that again.”
“What are you doing here?” he asked harshly as he looked her over. There was a boldness to his appraisal that normally would have offended her, but her skin warmed beneath his gaze, and she found it difficult to think straight.
“I—I—I’m picking something up.” Yeah, that’s the best I can do. I’m a witty one. How was it possible that the years away from him hadn’t diminished the connection she’d felt? She remembered feeling this same way the first time he’d kissed her. They hadn’t taken it further that night, but they’d both wanted to. She’d been with other men since, but none made her feel the way he could with just a look. When she’d said as much to her friends, they told her that she’d romanticized Spencer and used his memory to sabotage her other relationships. I believed them, but it wasn’t that. Whatever else we didn’t have, we had this. “How about you?”
“I own the building.”
“Of course you do,” she said and took a deep breath. Delinda, what are you up to now?
“I was told there was a woman out here asking for me.” There was a look in his eyes she recognized. He still wanted her. It was too easy to remember another time when a look like that would have led to them sneaking off to anywhere they could be alone.
“That wasn’t me,” she said, her voice suddenly husky.
“No?” He didn’t look like he believed her.
“No.” Is this a test, Delinda? Am I supposed to prove I don’t have a problem with him? She took another step back. She couldn’t do this.
He stepped forward, not taking his eyes off hers. “So you’re here by coincidence?”
She clutched the package to her chest. “Yes.” A little lie was forgivable in such a situation, wasn’t it?
“Come to lunch with me.”
Her body clamored to say yes, but it had led her astray before. She’d let this exact feeling once convince her that he cared about her. “Thank you, but no.” She went to turn away. He surprised her by closing his hand around her upper arm.
Her heart raced in her chest at the tantalizing image of how he would be now. They’d taught each other the basics. What had he learned since? Stop.
He leaned in and his breath tickled her lips. “Are you married?”
She shook her head to clear it. “No, but—”
“Is your boyfriend so jealous that you can’t catch up with an old friend?”
“I don’t have—”
“Then come to lunch with me.”
Saying no and walking away would have been her wisest choice. Part of her remembered how good saying yes to him had been in the past—at least in the beginning. Neither was enough for the woman she’d become. “Why?”
Her question seemed to take him by surprise. “Does there have to be a reason?”
The conversation was going nowhere, and Hailey reminded herself that the only important outcome was one that didn’t upset Delinda. “It was nice to see you, Spencer. You seem to be living the life you wanted. I’m happy for you, but I really do have to go.”
His grip tightened. “Were you here the other day?”
“Yes.”
“I knew it. I saw you enter the building. You looked up at me. Did you know it was me in the window?”
Part of her had. She looked away. “No.”
“Liar.”
She hated the blush that warmed her cheeks. Lying had never come easy to her, but in this case it was necessary. “I have no reason to lie.” No reason I’ll tell you about.
He leaned in closer and spoke into her ear. “What if I said I’m glad you’re here? I’ve been thinking about you, Sunshine.”
His old endearment had tears welling in Hailey’s eyes. When they’d first started dating, she used to tease him that he spent too many hours holed up in his garage. He’d joke that he didn’t need to go out because the sunshine came to him. She wasn’t as swayed by his charm this time around. This time isn’t about what I want, and it’s better all around if I don’t feel anything. “Please let go of my arm.”
He did. “I understand why you left the way you did. It doesn’t matter anymore.”
Old anger she’d thought was long gone surfaced. “Did it ever matter to you? Did I? Because I’ve asked myself that a thousand times—until I stopped caring about the answer. I don’t want to do this, Spencer. I don’t want to rehash what’s over.”
With that, she walked away from him and into a conveniently open elevator. Her eyes sought his. He looked as miserable after their exchange as she felt. It was a relief when the doors finally closed and she was swept away from him. She made it to her car on shaky legs.
“Is everything okay?” Pete asked.
It was only then that she realized her cheeks were wet from tears. She wiped them away impatiently. “Yes. Sometimes air-conditioning makes my eyes water.”
He nodded politely and opened the rear door to the car. “Where to now?”
She slid in and tried to gather her thoughts. “Back to the house, but would you mind taking the long way?”
“Of course,” he said gently before he closed the door.
As they pulled away from the office building, Hailey refused to look back. She kept her eyes on the path ahead, but her mind betrayed her intentions by filling with memories from long ago.
Even as a freshman, Spencer had been well known around campus. He’d gotten there on a football scholarship, but his passion was technology, which made him stand out in both worlds. Gorgeous. Brilliant. Driven. Hailey, with her undecided major and full figure, would have never had the courage to approach him on her own. It had been her study partner, Jordan Cohen, who had introduced them.
The first time they’d met, Spencer had been a muscular giant hunched over a tiny keyboard in his mother’s garage, writing code. He looked up, their eyes met and held, and they both smiled. And—just like that—they’d known. Life could be complicated and difficult or as easy and amazing as taking a deep breath and leaping.
Hailey couldn’t remember him ever asking her out or ever agreeing to see him. They had simply connected. She’d gone to see one of his games, then he’d invited her to join the team for pizza to celebrate the victory. Afterward he’d taken her back to his damn garage to show her a program he was working on . . . and there, in the mix of all his crazy computers, he’d kissed her.
It had felt more than good, it had felt—right. She’d never believed in soul mates or love at first sight, but their connection was undeniable. He made her smile so much her face hurt. He told her that kissing her was better than the rush of adrenaline that followed successfully executing new code.
They met before classes, started and ended each day to the sound of each other’s voices, and tested each other’s willpower with kisses that drove them both wild. When he’d admitted he was inexperienced, Hailey handed him her heart and her body. He was the one she’d retained her virginity for. Uncomplicated, mutual lust for each other with no reason to deny themselves the pleasure. She doubted there was a corner of his house or the dorm where they hadn’t had sex. And it had been good—so, so good.
Years later, it was too easy to remember the sound of his laugh, the feel of his lips as they grazed her skin. He’d been her first, but he wasn’t her last. Her breath shouldn’t quicken at the memory of his touch. She shouldn’t be able to lick her lips and remember his taste. No one else remained as torturously vivid.
None of that matters, though. I can ask myself what would have happened if my father hadn’t died. If I had handled the loss better. If I had given Spencer another chance. So many ifs that don’t change a damn thing in the end.
I have Skye. She’s what matters.
And Delinda. She wanted me to meet him. Why? To make sure it wouldn’t be an issue? I won’t let it be.
Things are going too well.
During breakfast that morning Hailey had told her niece she had an errand to run for Delinda. Skye had accepted it without an argument or hesitation. Every day we’re better than the day before.
Skye had smiled—smiled. “So I’ll stay with Delinda?”
“Mrs. Holihen will be here for your lessons.”
Skye had nodded, then asked, “May I have my lessons at the main house?”
“Oh—I don’t know if that’s a good idea. I’ll take you over there later today.”
“Please,” Skye had begged and Hailey’s heart had clenched in her chest. She likes her new teacher. She’s talking again. How can I say no when she asks me for nothing else?
“Okay, I’ll ask Delinda if you can visit with Mrs. Holihen while I’m out.”
“She’ll say yes,” Skye had said with confidence. “I make her happy.”
“Yes, you do.”
Skye’s expression had turned serious. “Are you happy?”
Hailey stood, crossed over to where Skye was sitting, and gave her a long hug. “Oh, honey, I sure am. Do you know that the best day of my life was when you were born and I became an aunt?”
“Really?”
Hailey kissed the top of her head. “Really. I was even in the room when you were born because your mother knew how much I would love you.”
Skye’s eyes had widened. “Dad told me you were there. He said you cried.”
Hearing Skye mention Ryan gave Hailey hope that the worst might really be over. “I did. I knew my life would never be the same—in the best possible way.”
Skye had searched her face, then nodded. “I love you, Auntie Hailey.”
“I love you, too.” Hailey had smiled even as she blinked back tears. “I’ll call Delinda right after we get dressed.” She checked the time on her phone. “We’d better hurry, though. Want to race? First one fully dressed with hair and teeth brushed gets to do the breakfast dishes.”
“Wait. Wait. Wait. Who would want to win that?” Skye had asked with a laugh.
“You used to love to wash the dishes. I was always pulling you out of the sink when you were little.”
“I’m not a baby anymore.”
“Okay, then loser does the dishes.” Feeling more lighthearted than she had in long time, Hailey had posed like a runner at a starting line. “Deal?”
Skye had run off in a flash, and Hailey had smiled all the way through getting dressed. I can’t worry about all the ways this could go wrong. Stay positive. One foot in front of the other. Stay strong and true to yourself and you’ll find happiness again. My brother was a very wise man.
Spencer strode through his secretary’s office to his. What the hell was that? What was I doing?
He went to the window, but she was gone. I don’t want to look back any more than she does.
A memory of her boldly kissing him and luring him away from his work by whispering what she wanted to do slammed through him. His cock jerked as his senses flooded with anticipation at the possibility of having her again, tasting those sweet lips, gripping her delicious ass to raise her so he could thrust up into her. So there’s that.
Jordan.
Spencer pulled out his phone. This is his fucking fault.
S: Hailey came to my office today.
Despite the fact that Jordan hadn’t answered any of his messages that week, his reply was fast.
J: The Hailey?
S: Yep.
J: How is she?
S: Gorgeous. Single.
J: But?
S: Not interested in me. Couldn’t get away from me fast enough.
J: Then she’s gotten smarter with age.
S: Fuck you. (He knew Jordan laughed at that.) Hey, I know I’ve been a dick lately. I found out that my father isn’t my father, and it’s screwing with my head. When Jordan didn’t have a quick answer, Spencer added: My stepfather was my biological father.
J: I know. I’m surprised you didn’t.
S: Wtf?
J: You’re blond. Mark was blond. Everyone else in your family has dark hair like your mother and her first husband. It was a no-brainer.
S: Thanks for fucking saying something.
J: I thought you knew.
His grandmother had said the same to him. At the time he hadn’t believed her, but now he threw back his head and laughed without humor at how stupid he’d been to not see it.
S: I didn’t. From now on, just assume I’m dumb as fuck and mention that kind of shit to me.
J: Okay. Then you’re probably wrong about Hailey.
S: What?
J: That girl loved you.
S: So much that she broke up with me for someone else.
J: Did she? I don’t remember her as the cheating type.
S: I saw her with him.
J: Or you thought you did. You are not exactly Mr. Intuitive.
There was no arguing that, so Spencer didn’t. He wasn’t introspective by nature, and he’d never found any value in asking people why they did what they did. He wasn’t sure anyone even fucking knew.
But if Hailey didn’t leave me for someone else—why did she leave? And who was she with that day?
S: I need her phone number.
J: I don’t know it.
S: But you know how to get information like that.
J: Look her up on social media. That’s how it’s done nowadays.
S: I want to call her, not stalk her. Come on, Jordan.
J: Just her number.
Spencer counted in his head. A phone number appeared via text before he got to ten. Jordan was that good.
S: You’re amazing.
J: Spencer.
S: Yes?
J: Don’t hurt her again . . .
I never, Spencer typed, then paused before sending. Or did I? Was it me? She asked if I cared, if I’d ever cared. Didn’t she know?
S: I won’t.