Chapter Thirteen
As an awkward silence dragged on, Hailey cursed herself for essentially vomiting her fears at his feet. “I’m sorry. That’s not a fair question.”
He held his hand over hers, where it lay on his chest. “Maybe not, but I’ve asked myself the same thing.”
“And?” She held her breath and waited.
“Partying didn’t fix anything. Avoiding my family didn’t work, either. I thought if everyone left me alone long enough, I’d feel better. No such luck. Lately I’ve been talking to my family again. I thought I had my shit together, but I don’t know.”
“You’re talking to your family again?” Maybe now is the time to tell him about Delinda.
His smile was gentle. “Some of them. What you said was a wake-up call for me.” He raised her hand to his mouth and kissed her palm. “I didn’t mean what I said about not needing you.”
His face lowered until his lips were just above hers, but the kiss she expected didn’t come. His breath was a tickle.
I can tell him later.
“Run secluded beach three,” Spencer said.
The scenery changed around them, but Hailey didn’t care. Her body was humming with a craving only he could satisfy. A moment dragged into two. Memories marched like hot lava through any reservations she still had. This was Spencer, her Spencer, and deciding to give herself over to him felt as natural as breathing. She licked her bottom lip and tipped her head back while her eyes fluttered closed. Oh yes.
Still no kiss came.
She opened her eyes again. Desire was there in his heated gaze, but his hands hadn’t moved. One still held hers; the other was sadly at his side. “What’s wrong?” she asked, feeling foolish yet hungry to feel his mouth on hers.
“Nothing,” he said in a tight tone.
“I ruined it for us, didn’t I? I complicated what could have been simple.” She went to move away from him, but he pulled her flush against him, a move that made his level of excitement deliciously obvious.
His hand came up to hold her chin, raising it so her eyes met his. “No, you made me want to do it right this time. I don’t want to rush you. If anyone is ruining this, it’s me, because all I can think about is how much I want to fuck you. Right here. Right now. On a conference table with the sound of waves crashing in the background. I want to hear you come while the two of us free-fall through clouds. That’s what I want. What I don’t know is if I can be here, kiss you, and stop without taking us both there.”
This was the Spencer she knew—the one she’d never stopped loving. No hiding. No games. Honest. Real. “I want to go there with you,” she said.
He groaned. “Are you sure?”
A smart woman knew a simple action could get a message across faster than any words could. She ran one hand down his flat stomach and caressed the hard bulge in his trousers. “Don’t make me beg,” she said in a low tone she hoped was sexy. “Unless you’re into that now.”
With a growl, he gathered her closer and kissed her. There was no hesitation in his claiming. His tongue slid between her lips and sought hers, hot and demanding. He lifted his head briefly and pulled the hem of her dress over her hips in one strong move. “I’ll show you what I’m into.” His next kiss was more playful, nipping at her lips before his tongue dipped inside her mouth again.
She’d wrapped her arms around his neck but lowered them just to allow him to slide the straps of her dress off. He efficiently unclasped her black lace bra and dropped it to the floor. “Add conference table. No chairs,” he said.
All while kissing her, he lifted her and seated her on the edge of a smooth surface that had the appearance of a long table. He hooked a finger beneath each side of her panties. She shifted her weight so he could slide them off.
“I want you so much it hurts,” he growled as he kissed his way down her neck. Her dress bunched around her waist, and her feet, still in the heels she’d worn, dangled several inches off the floor.
Frantic to feel him, Hailey slid his jacket off, pulled his shirt from his trousers, and began to feverishly unbutton it. He moved his attentive mouth to one of her breasts, and her hands went to the table behind her to brace herself as she arched, heat searing through her.
As young lovers, they had been novices in the art of lovemaking; Spencer had obviously learned some new tricks. He teased her nipples, one then the other, with his tongue and teeth. He warmed them with his hot breath before starting again. Each pause made Hailey anticipate the next touch more.
His hands adored her, caressing her long legs, her arms, every inch of her.
She was already writhing, already wet and ready for him when he parted her labia with his fingers. He kissed his way back to her mouth as his fingers worked their magic on her clit. She wanted to hold him, caress him, bring him the kind of pleasure he was bringing her, but she was positioned for him to helplessly devour.
He thrust a finger inside her, then another, while his tongue claimed hers. He pumped slowly with his thumb, leisurely circling her clit each time. Heat built up within her, and she spread her legs wider for him, moaning her pleasure into his mouth.
He withdrew his fingers, and she watched him undoing his belt and trousers. She shivered with need at the sound of a condom wrapper ripping open. In a heartbeat he was kissing her again, cupping her ass with his hands and lifting her slightly off the table.
His first thrust was deep and sure. Hailey threw back her head and exclaimed, “Yes. Oh, God, yes.”
He withdrew, then drove into her again with the same power. She came as soon as his pace increased, clenching around his big cock and crying out his name. He didn’t break stride, continuing to pound into her. His strong hands gripped her ass, holding her in place even as she returned from heaven.
He stepped back, bringing her forward off the table and wrapping her legs around his waist. Hailey gripped his shoulders for support as he kissed her deeply while moving his cock slowly in and out of her. The way he filled her was divine, and she buried her hands in his hair as they kissed with the passion of lovers reunited.
He lowered her feet to the floor and withdrew. Lost to mindless need, she moved against him, begging him wordlessly not to end it too soon.
“Turn around,” he said as he spun her.
She turned eagerly, relieved it wasn’t over, and placed her hands on the edge of the table. Her high heels lifted her ass for him. One of his hands went to her hip. His other caressed the exposed length of her back, over the curve of her ass, down one of her legs, before taking hold of her other hip.
She closed her eyes with molten hunger as he teased her with just the tip. She moved back against him, needing more. When he plunged into her, she cried, “Oh yes. Oh yes.”
His hand snaked up her back and fisted around her hair, pulling her head slightly back. “Open your eyes,” he commanded.
She did, willing to do whatever he asked as long as he didn’t stop. He was rough without hurting. Forceful without forcing. Nothing he demanded was more than she wanted to give.
“Retract table. Run free fall,” he said, and the beach beneath Hailey’s feet morphed to an aerial view of Earth. A strong wind rushed upward as the clouds flew by. It was enough to convince Hailey’s body that it was falling, and adrenaline rushed through her as Spencer continued to take her from behind. Deeper and deeper he plunged as she gave herself over to the experience. Hot desire mixed with a whisper of fear, taking Hailey to a whole new level of euphoria.
“You’re fucking incredible,” he said as he increased his speed.
She was beyond words. Overwhelmed by him and the simulator, she came with an uninhibited, animalistic cry of release. He thrust into her with an answering growl, climaxing together as the program reset to the peaceful beach.
She sagged forward, bracing herself with her hands on her knees. He withdrew and turned her, pulling her to his bare chest. She snuggled against him even as she playfully reprimanded him. “You’re lucky I’m not afraid of heights.”
He kissed her tenderly before answering, “I knew you wouldn’t be, but I’ll admit I wasn’t thinking clearly.” He removed his condom and tied it off, then staggered, readjusting his pants. “Next time I’ll at least get us out of our clothes.”
Hailey glanced at the dress that was still around her waist and his still-unzipped trousers. “Nah,” she said playfully. It wasn’t the first time they’d had half-dressed sex, and she hoped it wouldn’t be the last.
He cupped one of her breasts, gently circling her nipple with his thumb. “This wasn’t as good as it was back then—it was better.”
She half closed her eyes in pleasure. “Wait till I show you what I’ve learned.”
His thumb paused, and he pulled her tight against him. “I don’t like imagining you with another man.”
“At least they’re not all on my Instagram feed,” she countered sassily. The years they’d been apart couldn’t be wished away. How they dealt with them was just another part they would have to figure out.
“Touché,” he said and kissed her again. A slow, lusty smile spread across his face. “Come back to my place, and I’ll see if you learned as much as you think you did.”
“What time is it?” She stepped back, pulled the hem of her dress down, and bent to retrieve her bra from the floor of the simulator.
He picked up his jacket and took out his phone. Hailey paused to watch the rippling muscles of his back as he did. There was humor in his eyes when they met hers, as if he knew exactly what watching him was doing to her. He glanced down at his phone and swore. “Time for you to get back unless you want to call your babysitter and ask her to stay over.”
“I can’t,” she said as she fastened her bra and pulled the top of her dress back into place. She turned her back to him as she’d done many times before. “Zip, please.”
He did, then retrieved her panties from the floor and held them out to her. “You don’t want to leave these here.” She stepped into them as he finished zipping himself.
“You might want to get that as well.” She nodded toward the condom he’d dropped to the floor.
He opened the door of the simulator and disposed of it in the trash near his secretary’s desk. Before walking away, he frowned, took a blank piece of paper off her desk, crumpled it up, and tossed it in the trash on top of the condom.
When their eyes met, Hailey felt like they truly were back in college disposing of the evidence of their wild encounters. “Do you remember when Ralph went on vacation and left you the keys to the restaurant?”
He laughed. “How could I forget? It really was our booth after that week.”
She laughed along with him. “It sure was. I couldn’t look him in the eye for weeks.”
Spencer closed the simulator door and put an arm around Hailey as they walked through the office toward the elevator. “I couldn’t sit there without a hard-on for about as long.”
They both glanced back at the simulator at the same time, then met each other’s eyes again, and the air sizzled with sexual energy. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Hailey asked.
The flush that spread up his neck hinted he might be. “It wouldn’t take me long to write that program. All we would need is enough footage of the booth.” He shook his head and chuckled. “Now I want a private simulator. How am I going to explain that to Jordan?”
They walked toward the elevator together. “It was just a thought.”
“A fucking amazing thought,” he said before pulling her into the elevator and kissing her deeply as the doors closed. They hit the ground all too soon.
Conversation was comfortable and easy as they left the building and climbed into his car. They had just pulled into traffic when he glanced at her quickly and asked, “Any regrets?”
“About tonight?” she asked.
“About any of this.”
“No, but I need—” Time to think. This is what I want, but is it what’s best for Skye? Is it selfish to even consider something like this when she’s finally doing better? I need to take the job at SmartKart. It’ll free me to tell him everything. If I do it right, Delinda will see she doesn’t have to pay for companions. We’ll stay in the guesthouse, and Skye and I won’t lose either one of them.
Spencer placed a hand on one of her thighs. “What do you need?”
“Patience,” she said automatically. “We need to move forward slowly.”
“Because of Skye,” he said, rather than asked.
“She’s a big part of it.” She turned his hand over and linked her fingers with his. “I’ll introduce you, but not yet.”
“In case we don’t make it.”
Hailey’s heart clenched in her chest. She didn’t want to lie to him. “She’s lost so much. I won’t be the reason for more loss in her life, not if I can help it.” She stared down at their linked hands for a few moments before saying, “I’ve decided to take the job with SmartKart.”
“Fantastic. It sounds like a good move for you.”
“I hope so. I have to admit I’m a little nervous about telling my present employer, but mostly because she has been so good to us.”
“You’re doing it because it’s what’s best for you and your family. She’ll have to understand that.”
“I think she will.”
Before long they pulled up beside Hailey’s parked car. Spencer undid his seat belt and leaned toward Hailey. She met the kiss halfway. The passion that flared between them was intense and instant. He raised his head, his breath as ragged as hers. “Tonight shouldn’t end this way. You should fall asleep in my arms.”
She traced the line of his strong jaw. “We’ll get there.” I hope.
His eyes darkened. “You are incredible.” He kissed her briefly.
“I don’t know about that, but it’s nice to hear.” Leaving wasn’t as easy as Hailey made it sound, but she knew she had to. “I should go.”
“How does your week look?”
Hailey gathered up her purse. “Before I make any plans, I want to talk to SmartKart. They may need me to do something. I also don’t want to stay out very late. It’s summer, but Skye still takes lessons every day.”
He shot her a crooked smile. “So I should plan on Saturday.”
“Probably,” she said with a nod. “And I’ll meet you somewhere.”
“You sure know how to keep me humble,” he joked.
“That’s not my intention—”
“I know,” he said, cutting her off with a quick kiss before leaning across her to open her door. “Fuck, this isn’t easy.”
His face was mere inches from hers. She wanted one more kiss yet felt dangerously close to giving in to the part of her that wanted to stay. “Spencer—”
“Go,” he said as he straightened away from her.
Hailey stepped out of his car and walked over to hers. She looked back at him as she opened her door. He’s as scared as I am.
Is that better or worse than our first time around?
Spencer watched Hailey drive off and folded his arms across his chest. Being with her had him all tied up in knots emotionally. The sex had been phenomenal, better than he’d expected, and he’d gone in with some pretty fucking good memories of being with her.
Strong and loyal.
Funny, intelligent, and sexy as hell.
She deserves better than the man I am today. He didn’t normally turn to others for advice, but he almost lost her this night. He needed to figure some shit out, and evidently that wasn’t something he was succeeding at alone. He called someone he knew would give it to him straight. “Jordan, I need your advice on something.”
“Don’t worry, I already erased the video feed from tonight,” Jordan said. “I was working on a program remotely when I noticed someone had accessed the simulator after hours. I watched a few minutes because, honestly, it’s hilarious to see you that smitten with a woman, but then clothing started flying off, and I hit ‘Delete.’”
Leaning against the side of his car, Spencer covered his eyes and groaned. “I didn’t even think that it might be recording us.”
“I can’t imagine what else might have been on your mind,” Jordan said dryly.
Spencer shook his head. “Thanks for deleting it. I have a demo scheduled for the Chinese company next week. That would not have been good.”
Jordan laughed. “It would have been karma for calling my realistic portrayal of a day at the beach a gateway to porn. You threw that gate open and ran through it naked.”
“Are you done?”
“I hope you sanitized the room.”
“Anything else?”
“Now will you let me add private access codes?”
“No, but I’m ready to authorize in-home models. We talked about making them more accessible to the public. Maybe now is the time to design personal-use models.”
“You argued it wasn’t feasible and there would be no market for it. I wonder what changed your mind. Hmmm. A real mystery.”
“Yeah. Okay. Fine. Back to why I called. I think I’m losing my mind. I’m not even dating Hailey, but tonight I thought she was calling it off and I lost my shit.”
“What did you do?” Jordan asked quietly.
“I told her I didn’t need her. You should have heard me. I was a real dick. Why would I do that? I want to be with her. What the fuck is my problem?”
“Are those rhetorical questions or are you actually asking me?”
“This isn’t like me.”
“Well—”
“Or this is exactly who I am—who I’ll always be? There’s no going back, is there?”
Jordan groaned. “I’m not a therapist or a psychic, but I do think you have the power to stop being an asshole.”
Not fun to hear but not wrong, either. “If it were that easy, I wouldn’t still be saying stupid shit, would I?”
“Yeah. It might be too late for you. All that’s left is to wait it out and die alone.”
“I don’t know why I thought talking to you would help.”
“Hey, I’m not the one you have a problem with. Talk to someone you do. It might help.”
“I went to see my mother.”
“Maybe she’s not the one you’re most angry with.”
Maybe not. There were two people he refused to speak to because the idea of even seeing them again made him sick. Dereck and Delinda—two people he’d once thought were family. He couldn’t imagine going to see either one of them or what he’d say if he did.
When Spencer didn’t say anything, Jordan added, “What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know. Take it slow, I guess. What else can I do?”