Chapter Five
A nervous acid churned in Hailey’s stomach as soon as she saw several cars parked in Delinda’s driveway. She was out of the car and halfway up the stairs of the main house before Pete had time to offer her a hand. The front door opened.
Michael had that anxious look on his face again. “Mrs. Westerly probably should have asked you—”
“Yes, she should have. Who’s here? Who is she introducing Skye to?”
Just then a small herd of children squeezed by Michael and burst down the steps. One of them, a boy who looked about Skye’s age, stopped right in front of Hailey and called over his shoulder, “False alarm. It’s just some lady.”
The group turned in unison and stampeded back into the house.
Real panic rose within Hailey. She and the therapist had plans to introduce children back into Skye’s life. It had to be done carefully so as not to traumatize her. “Where’s Skye?” Hailey asked in a high pitch.
“She’s inside,” Michael said. “If I might be so bold as to suggest—”
Hailey pushed past Michael. “Please don’t tell me what to do or not to do when it comes to my niece. I need to see Skye. Oh my God, this must be overwhelming for her. Delinda has to realize that she can’t keep pushing her.” Rushing through the house, Hailey called out to her niece again and again. She didn’t answer, and Hailey crossed the rest of the foyer in a run.
She spotted Skye darting out the back door with several other children and chasing after them. They looked as if they were playing some sort of tag game in and around a large stone chess set. She called out to her again, but Skye didn’t hear her.
“It’s good to see her playing with other children, isn’t it?” Mrs. Holihen asked as she joined Hailey.
“Yes,” Hailey answered automatically, but she was still full of adrenaline and worry. “You should have called me when they arrived.”
Mrs. Holihen’s mouth rounded in surprise. “I thought you knew.”
“I didn’t,” Hailey said abruptly. Skye turned toward the house, saw her, and waved before joining in another wild race with the children. Her laughter carried across the lawn and confused Hailey even more. Of course she wanted Skye to be happy, but the situation felt out of control. Hailey didn’t know if she should be thrilled or angry with Delinda . . . again. “Who are those children?”
“They attend Sterling Waters, a private school, right here in town. They’re in camp this time of year, so Mrs. Westerly suggested that meeting them might get Skye interested in attending the school in the fall. How amazing for you to have an employer who is also like a guardian angel for your niece. Their connection is heartwarming.”
“Yes, heartwarming,” Hailey echoed. And scary. “So the camp moved over here for the day? Just like that?”
Mrs. Holihen smiled. “Mrs. Westerly had me call the headmaster yesterday and ask if any second graders would like a quick field trip to her house. I’ve never seen any faculty fall all over themselves to make something happen. From what I understand, every single parent at that school would love for their child to be friends with Mrs. Westerly’s great-grandchild.”
“Great-grandchild? You know we’re not related to her.”
“I do, but it seems that Mrs. Westerly and Skye like pretending you are. From the way doors fly open at the mere mention of her name, I would love it if Mrs. Westerly adopted me.” Mrs. Holihen’s humor was lost on Hailey.
Hailey brought shaking hands to her cheeks. Skye was still laughing and playing with the other children. Why do I feel like I should grab her and run?
Is it selfishness? Do I resent that Delinda is succeeding where I failed?
No, it’s not that.
I’m right to be worried. This is all happening too fast, and it could end. I don’t want Skye to get hurt.
Hailey’s phone rang in her purse, but she didn’t answer it. Her attention was on her niece. She was ready to intervene at the first sign of distress.
“There you are,” Delinda said from the doorway. A tall, stocky Italian man who looked to be in his late sixties accompanied her. “Hailey Tiverton, meet one of my dearest friends—Alessandro Andrade.”
Hailey held out her hand to shake his.
The man smiled warmly, then pulled her to him for a bone-crushing hug that lifted her off her feet. “Good to meet you.” He was a lot stronger than he looked.
Once released, Hailey lowered her hand and caught her breath. “You, too.”
Delinda beamed. “You beat the ponies. Skye said she adores them, so I’m having some brought out for her to meet. Two of the girls she is playing with board theirs at a farm in Sterlington. Horses give girls confidence and will provide her a hobby. I’m excited to see the selection today. My riding days are over, but I have many fond memories of my childhood pony, Cinnamon.”
“No,” Hailey said weakly, then repeated herself in a firmer tone. “No pony.”
Delinda turned and looked back toward the front door of the house. “Michael is waving for me to come, so they must be arriving now.” Her smile was bright, and she briefly took Hailey’s hand in hers. “My heart is racing like it did when I chose my own pony. I didn’t think I’d ever feel this excited about anything again. Thank you. I can’t wait to see which one she chooses.” With that, Delinda turned and walked briskly back into the house.
Momentarily forgetting the older man at her side, Hailey searched the crowd of children for her niece. Skye was standing with another little girl laughing about something, laughing just as joyously as Skye had before her parents had died. Relief battled with self-doubt and guilt.
This isn’t our life. It’s a dream that could crash and burn on the whim of my employer. I need to put a stop to it.
But how can I when Skye is finally looking like herself again? Do I have a right to take this away from her?
I didn’t put that smile on her face. I was the reason she wasn’t talking. Was I also the reason she wasn’t healing? I keep thinking I know what’s best for her, but do I? Maybe I’m doing everything wrong. Ryan, maybe you entrusted your daughter to the wrong person. Hailey wiped a stray tear from her cheek and sniffed loudly. I’m trying, Ryan. What would you do?
Alessandro cleared his throat beside her. “Would it help if I spoke to Delinda?”
With a shaky, indrawn breath, Hailey said, “No, but thank you. I’ll talk to her.”
“She means well.”
“I know.”
“Delinda has been a second mother to me. It’s good to see her excited and happy again.”
Watching Skye play, Hailey chose her words carefully. “Delinda is amazingly generous.” I know being here feels good, but this isn’t our life. I don’t want to deny her a moment of this dream, but what happens if we have to wake up and go home?
“She likes you, and she doesn’t like many people.”
Hailey hugged an arm to her stomach. “She said as much, but I don’t agree. She has a soft heart under all that tough talk.”
Alessandro’s voice deepened with emotion. “That she does. I was worried when I heard you were here, but now I understand.”
“Really? Sometimes I’m not so sure I do.”
Without warning, Hailey flew forward and would have tumbled down the stairs had Alessandro not caught her arm. A flurry of apologetic children encircled them, then rushed down the steps, calling out that there were ponies in the driveway.
Skye ran up the steps and came to a skidding halt in front of Hailey. “Delinda is getting me a pony. A pony, Auntie Hailey. Can you believe it? She said I can take riding lessons.” There must have been something in Hailey’s expression because Skye’s smile wavered. “Please don’t say no.”
“Ponies need—” Hell, I’ve never had a pony, but I know we can’t afford one.
“Delinda said I could.”
“Delinda does not make the decisions for our family.”
The previously sweet, withdrawn Skye stomped her foot and said, “I’m getting a pony.” She glared at Hailey and ran past her into the house.
And just like that, Hailey was thrown a new worry—one worse than the fear that their time there might end suddenly: Who will we become if we stay?
How did Skye go from withdrawn and fragile to outspoken and bratty?
Delinda.
No. That’s not fair. Coming here was my decision. How it plays out is on me as well. I’ll talk to Delinda and explain to her that she absolutely can’t make any decisions when it comes to Skye without consulting me.
A month ago I would have done anything, promised anything, just for the chance to hear her voice again. Coming here brought the old Skye back to life.
At what cost? I can’t let her begin to think that money equates to happiness. Our family has never obsessed over material things. Ryan wouldn’t want his daughter to. No pony.
On the other hand, the pony would give her a connection to the other girls. She has lost so much. How can I even consider taking something else from her?
The aunt in me wants to spoil her and celebrate all the good I’ve seen in her.
Ryan gave me custody of her, though, because he knew I would love her as if she were my own daughter. I’m a better person because Ryan challenged me to be one. He supported me when I needed him most, but then he made sure I was strong enough to stand on my own. As much as I want Skye to be happy, what am I teaching her if I say yes? How much do we accept from Delinda? Where’s the line? “I don’t know what to do.”
In a deep, sympathetic tone, Alessandro said, “I have one daughter, and she has given me all of these gray hairs.” He touched her shoulder gently. “My advice, even though you haven’t asked for it, is: Pick your battles. You’ve already lost this one, but regroup. There’s a chance you may win the next.”
Shaking her head, Hailey laughed without humor. “I thought I knew what I was doing, but now I wonder if I’m doing anything right.”
“I remember that feeling, but it passes. Have faith in yourself. My daughter now has children of her own, and I am able to enjoy watching her fumble through the process. It’s not easy for anyone, but love goes a long way to smooth out the mistakes we make.”
I just hope my greatest mistake wasn’t in coming here. “I know Delinda means well, but—”
“She is as giddy and excited as your niece. You could take that from her, but do you want to?”
The image of Skye stomping her foot returned. She definitely needed to be reined in. How do I do that without being the killer of all joy? “Tell me it gets easier.”
“It doesn’t, but I would do every stage all over again if I could. Come, let’s go see which pony you’re adding to your family.” They started walking, and he asked, “Is your back cold?”
Only when he said it did Hailey realize part of it was. Her hand automatically sought the source. Ice cream—a nice blob of it was smeared into the back of her shirt. “Perfect. Just perfect.”
Alessandro chuckled. “Children—a blessing and a bane. Go change, and I’ll stall the equine adoption process until you return.”
With a nod, Hailey sprinted down the steps and across the lawn to the guesthouse. She rushed to her bedroom and pulled her shirt over her head, then dropped it in the bathtub. She had just finished pulling on a new shirt when her phone rang. It’s probably a zoo calling to announce the delivery of lions or fucking unicorns.
She answered her phone while striding out of her bedroom. “Hello?”
“Hailey, it’s Spencer.”
She froze. “Hi.” She almost asked him how he got her number, but decided it didn’t matter.
“I haven’t been able to concentrate since I saw you.”
What was the proper response to that? “I’m sorry?” she said in a joking tone.
“Don’t be.” His voice lowered to a deep purr. “Dinner tomorrow night—six o’clock. Tell me where to pick you up.”
“No.”
“Thursday, then.”
She hesitated. Yes . . . No. What am I thinking? Of course I can’t see him. “I can’t.”
“Lunch, then.”
She chuckled nervously. Spencer had never lacked in confidence. It was what had drawn her to him in the beginning. If he cared what anyone thought of him, it hadn’t been his college classmates.
And in the end—not even me.
After not hearing from him for so long it should have been easy to turn him down, but it wasn’t. The boy had become a man who knew what he wanted and, for the moment at least, that appeared to be her. We always did have bad timing. “It wasn’t the time of day that was the issue.”
“There are things we never talked about—things we should have.”
Some of her frustration with Delinda and Skye spilled over into her response. “I’m allowed to say no. It doesn’t make me a bad person. It doesn’t mean that I don’t want everyone to be happy. Sometimes no is the right answer. Of course I want to agree to everything. Who wouldn’t? But where does it all lead? I can’t just throw caution to the wind and fill my life with ponies and ex-boyfriends and think there won’t be consequences.” She stopped to take a breath and groaned. Yeah.
“Consequences?” he asked slowly.
“We don’t have anything left to say to each other, Spencer. It’s too late.” She walked to the front of the guesthouse and watched Skye being led up and down the long driveway on a white pony with a long flowing mane and tail. The exhilaration on her face mirrored Delinda’s. “We can’t always do what we want and think there won’t be a price for it later.”
“You asked me if I ever cared about you. I did, Sunshine. I still do.”
Tears welled in Hailey’s eyes, but she blinked them back. “It wasn’t all you, Spencer. When my father died, I kind of crumbled.”
“I should have been there for you.”
“Maybe you would have been if I’d been able to tell you what I needed, but I didn’t know how. All I knew was that I needed to feel safe again.”
“Is that why you jumped right into another relationship?”
“I did what?”
“I saw you with him—the guy you left me for. You were all over him.”
“What guy?”
“Tall with curly hair and glasses.”
“Greg? You saw me with Greg? He was my brother’s friend.”
Spencer growled. “He looked pretty damn friendly toward you when I saw you with him.”
“Honestly, I don’t remember. But he did try to cheer me up when I first moved in with Ryan.” Like every other man besides Spencer, he’d faded away, unimportant and easily forgotten.
“Did you date him?”
“No, he asked me out, but—” But I was in love with you and devastated when you didn’t come for me. “So that’s why I never heard from you again? You saw me with Greg, and that was it? You were done?”
“You said we were over.”
Tears filled Hailey’s eyes. “It doesn’t matter, I guess.”
He sighed harshly. “It does. I was jealous as hell when I saw you with him. The idea of another man touching you made me—still makes me—” He swore. “I thought you had moved on.”
The emotion in his voice dissolved the years away. For just a moment she was a young woman hearing her boyfriend open up in a way he never had.
No. He’s not mine anymore. I’m not his. We’re just two people who had something a long time ago. Love came when neither of us was ready for it. “I went home to be with my brother because I didn’t feel like I had anyone else.”
He swore again. “Meet me tomorrow.”
It would never be the same. Not to mention how dangerous it is to even consider starting something with Spencer while working for his grandmother. “It’s hard for me to get away right now. My employer—”
“Lunch. Everyone is allowed one. Tell me where you work, and I’ll pick you up.”
“No. Don’t come here.” Oh, God, why does it feel so good to know he wants to see me?
“I’m not giving up. Not this time.”
Yep, that’s why. Spencer 2.0 is everything I liked about the earlier version and more. Saying yes would be so easy, but then what?
Saying no was impossible.
Delinda wasn’t the only one who was lonely. Hailey couldn’t remember the last time she’d done something for herself. Her social life had come to an abrupt halt when she’d taken Skye in. Meeting Spencer for one lunch didn’t need to lead to anything else. It can’t. I’ll have to be clear about that. “One lunch. It wouldn’t be a date.”
He chuckled softly. “Just two people meeting for old times’ sake.”
“Yes.”
“Do you remember Mangiarelli’s Pizza?”
No fair. He’d chosen their old college hangout. “I don’t,” she lied.
“Really? Luckily, it’s on Yelp with directions. I’ll see you there at noon.”
“Noon,” she echoed breathlessly.
“Hailey?”
“Uh-huh?” Her head was spinning.
“I’m glad you said yes. See you tomorrow.”
After he hung up, she sat on the couch in the living room and took several deep breaths. I was going to ask Delinda why she’d sent me to Braintree and arranged for me to meet him, but now I can’t. All she’d have to do is ask me one question, and I’d crack and tell her everything.
What had Alessandro said? “Pick your battles.”
Hailey pushed herself off the couch and headed out of the guesthouse and over to the driveway where Delinda and Skye were fawning over an all-white pony. They looked up at her approach, and both expressions became guarded.
The children were standing around in a loose circle, seemingly equally excited about Skye’s choice. I can’t say no.
But I have to say something.
“Skye, come here.” Skye looked from the pony to Delinda, beseeching her to intervene. Delinda opened her mouth to say something, but Hailey didn’t give her a chance to. “Now, Skye.”
Reluctantly, Skye stepped away from the group and over to Hailey. Hailey took her by the hand and led her just far enough away that the others wouldn’t hear, then bent down so her face was level with Skye’s. “I love you more than you will ever know. I want you to be happy, Skye, but you know your behavior earlier was not appropriate.”
Skye glared at her, defensive and angry. Hailey didn’t back down even though it broke her heart to see her niece look at her that way. Eventually, Skye blinked and looked down. “I really want the pony, Auntie Hailey.”
“I know you do, Skye, but we don’t have the money for it.”
Skye’s shoulders slumped. “Delinda will buy it.”
“Look at me, Skye. Delinda’s money is not our money. This is not our house. I don’t want you to get confused.”
Skye glanced over her shoulder at the children who were watching them. When she looked back at Hailey, her eyes were so sad it took everything in Hailey not to burst into tears and hug her. “I understand.”
I could be doing this all wrong, Ryan, but I hope not. “Do you, Skye? Because I’m waiting on an apology for the way you spoke to me earlier. We’re on the same team, you know, and we always will be.”
“I’m sorry.” No seven-year-old had probably ever sounded more dejected.
“That’s why we’ll find a way to afford that pony. You and me. We’ll let Delinda buy it for you today, but we’ll pay her back. I’ll put aside some money, and you’ll pick up chores around the house to earn it. It’s not going to be easy. We’ll need to buy a saddle and brushes, and stabling a pony is probably very expensive. We can only get the pony, Skye, if you agree to work for it.”
Wonder returned to Skye’s eyes. “You’re letting me get her?”
Hailey held out her hand for her niece to shake. “It depends on you. Do we have a deal? Are you willing to work to buy your own pony?”
Skye bypassed the handshake and threw her arms around Hailey. “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.”
“Does she have a name?”
“Clover,” Skye said. “You are going to be so happy you let me have her. I’m going to work hard and be good.”
She hugged her niece tighter to her. Imagine that, we both have the same personal goals. “Ready to introduce me to your new pony?”
“Oh yes!” Skye bounced and took her by the hand, dragging her toward the pony with the same determination Hailey had dragged her away with.
Delinda watched their approach with a carefully blank expression. “Is everything all right?”
“Absolutely.” The curious audience made any other response impossible. There would be time later for what she needed to say.
Skye ran her hand along the pony’s neck, beneath her mane. “You have to feel right here, Auntie Hailey. She’s so soft.”
Hailey followed the same path down the pony’s mane, and the pony threw up her head and whinnied. “She’s beautiful.”
“And she’s mine.” Skye threw her arms around the pony’s neck, and Hailey was relieved to see the calmness with which the pony accepted her affection.
Michael announced that more ice cream was being served on the front lawn. The children cheered and bolted away. The woman holding the pony’s lead line explained that the pony would be delivered to the barn that evening and they could come by anytime.
Skye looked up at her aunt. “Can I—?”
“Of course.” Hailey didn’t need to wait for the question to be asked. She’d be lucky if Skye didn’t ask to sleep there with the pony.
“May,” Delinda corrected firmly. “May I.”
Confusing Delinda’s correction with a request, Skye turned from the pony and threw her arms around Delinda’s waist. “Of course you can come with us. Right, Auntie Hailey?”
One glimpse of the hopeful light in Delinda’s eyes that mirrored Skye’s and Hailey caved. “Would you like to come with us, Delinda?”
Alessandro joined them. With Skye still clinging to her, Delinda blinked a couple of times quickly, then grasped his forearm. “Aren’t they perfect?”
Perfect for what? The hair on the back of Hailey’s neck rose in sudden apprehension.
Alessandro patted Delinda’s hand.
Skye darted off to hug the pony again before it was loaded onto a trailer. While she was out of earshot, Hailey focused on what she’d planned to say. “Delinda, Skye is going to pay you back for the pony. Please allow her to. She’s agreed to do extra chores with me to earn the money for it.”
“I see no need to have her—”
“I do, and since I’m her guardian and aunt, if I say that’s the only way she will get the pony, it’s the only way. And if you ever plan another event for her without consulting me, I will have no choice but to give you my resignation and find other employment.”
“How dare you—?”
“I dare because no one is more important to me than Skye. I like you, Delinda, and I really need this job, but nothing comes before my niece and what is best for her.”
Delinda pressed her lips together in a line, then looked at Alessandro. “It’s no wonder she can’t keep a job. Do you hear how she talks to me?”
Rather than getting angry with Delinda for the barb, Hailey recognized it as an attempt to avoid addressing the threat. “I’m serious, Delinda.”
“I can’t imagine how you could have a problem with me wanting her to have friends and getting her excited about going back to school—”
“Promise that you’ll ask me before you plan anything else for Skye.”
Delinda narrowed her eyes like a petulant child.
Hailey held her breath and raised her chin.
The second standoff of the day ended much as the one with Skye had—Delinda blinked first, then nodded her concession. Alessandro bellowed out a hearty laugh that had Delinda spinning to wag a finger at him. “Don’t you dare laugh at me.”
His grin was wide and unabashed. “They really are perfect, Delinda.”
“Hush,” Delinda said in a stern voice that did nothing to intimidate Alessandro. Her expression was serious when her eyes met Hailey’s. “I promise to consult you before I even consider doing anything nice for you or Skye. Are you happy now?”
She’s lashing out because she’s hurt. She doesn’t have an ulterior motive. She’s just a lonely old woman who doesn’t know how to connect with people. How awful to be her age, to have all the material things she had, and still not understand how relationships worked.
Hailey took a page from Skye’s book and pulled Delinda to her for a tight hug. It was a bit like embracing a plank of wood, but when Hailey stepped back, Delinda looked both flustered and moved by the experience. “Just because I don’t agree with how you did it, doesn’t mean that I don’t appreciate what you did. Thank you for caring about Skye enough to arrange all of this.”
Delinda cleared her throat and in a stern tone said, “Hailey, how do you expect that poor woman to be able to load the pony with Skye hanging all over it? Take her to play with the other children before the day ends without her having made any friends at all. I didn’t invite that unruly herd here just so they could trample my flowers.”
“Of course,” Hailey said with a smile. That tough-as-nails act only makes me want to hug you again. She walked over to where Skye was promising the pony that she would visit that evening as if it could understand everything she was saying. “Skye, you have company waiting to spend more time with you.”
Skye rubbed the pony’s nose. “I have to go, Clover, but don’t worry. You’re my best friend. I’ll never leave you, and you’ll never leave me. Right, Auntie Hailey?” The uncertainty in her voice gave the question a crushing emotional weight.
Hailey wanted to promise her niece that nothing would ever come between her and Clover. Her heart broke at the realization that she couldn’t. Life didn’t work that way. Hailey had been about Skye’s age when she asked her father why she didn’t have a mother. He’d told her the truth, that her mother hadn’t wanted to be a mother anymore. At the time, it had hurt Hailey to hear it, but over time she’d understood that lies would have been worse. At least she had the truth. “Ponies are a big responsibility. Remember that you’ll have to work to repay Delinda.”
Dammit, Delinda. Couldn’t you have gotten her a bunny?
“I will,” Skye promised, and Hailey hugged her.
Hand in hand, they walked toward where the other children were playing. Will I ever watch you fumble through raising your own little ones? I hope so. Not about the fumbling part. I hope you do better than I am, but maybe we’ll look back and laugh at what right now feels catastrophic.
After returning Skye to the group, Hailey sat on the stone wall that lined a garden and her mind wandered to Spencer. I really can’t judge Skye for wanting something of her own.
It took being with other men to realize how unique what I had with Spencer was. Her thoughts wandered back to the simple joy of laughing for hours with him at Mangiarelli’s. We never needed more than each other to be entertained. It was that good.
Is it a mistake to go back there? I’m not that carefree girl anymore. He’s not a football-playing computer geek. What could we be now except for two strangers reminiscing over something that had been good but also too fragile to survive when tested?
He thought I broke up with him for someone else.
I thought he’d never even bothered to come after me.
What did we know?
Maybe Mangiarelli’s will be where we forgive not only each other but ourselves.
An image of him leaning over her in the hallway of his office building teased her senses. Her body warmed as she remembered how good it had felt to be near him again. He’d always been attractive, but the boy she’d known had become a man . . . a yummy, confident, sexy man. His eyes were as deliciously dark as she remembered, but his face had stronger lines. He was still built like he could plow across a football field, but there was now a sophistication about him. She’d never imagined him in a suit, but damn, he wore it well.
One lunch.
That’s it.
We’ll talk about the past, have a few laughs, and leave with a sense of closure.
Yes, that’s why I’m going. I need . . .
Images of the two of them, pulling off each other’s clothing with lustful frenzy, temporarily overwhelmed her. She was there again, arching her naked breasts against his bare, muscular chest. His hands were cupping her ass, lifting her off her feet. She was once again wrapping herself around him, welcoming his cock, begging him to go deeper, harder. The memory shifted, and she was clutching the back of the couch in his garage while he rammed into her from behind. Her body clenched at the hot memory. Yes, they’d had problems, but sex was never one of them. Being with him had always been sinfully, blissfully easy.
Closure.
She shook her head and took a deep breath, glad she was alone.
The next morning could not go by fast enough. Normally Spencer lost track of the time while working on a project, but his eyes kept returning to the clock. He swore when he realized only fifteen minutes had passed since the last time he’d checked the time.
The door of his office flew open and his older sister, Rachelle, strode in, followed by an apologetic Lisa. “I’m sorry, Mr. Westerly. I told her you were busy.”
Spencer stood and stretched. He wasn’t getting much done, anyway. “It’s fine, Lisa. Hold my calls.”
“Yes, Mr. Westerly.” Lisa closed the door as she left.
With her dark hair pulled back in a ponytail, and dressed in jeans and a flowered blouse, his sister sat in one of the chairs in front of his desk. She and Nicolette had a lot in common, although he doubted either would admit it. Nicolette considered herself the angsty rebel of the family. Rachelle saw herself as a second mother to her younger siblings. The three of them had once been close, but lately their visits were a harbinger of a headache. “What’s up, Rach?” Wait for it. Wait for it.
“You have to tell Nicolette that she can’t take money from Dad. Mom is beside herself.”
Spencer moved to the front of his desk and sat back against it. And they wonder why I don’t take their calls. “Hello, Rachelle. It’s nice to see you. Hello, Spencer, it’s great to see you, too.”
Rachelle sighed impatiently. “Could you be serious for one minute? Everyone is really upset. You shouldn’t have gotten involved. You know how Mom feels about Dad’s money.”
“Whoa,” Spencer said as he raised one hand out in front of him. “First, Nicolette asked me for my opinion, and I gave it to her. Second, money is not evil—people are. If Nicolette wants to take her father’s guilt money and do something good with it, you and Mom are the ones who should back the fuck off.”
Rachelle’s mouth rounded in surprise. “Did you just swear at me? Are you okay, Spencer?”
After twelve months of telling himself and everyone else that he was fine, he snapped. “No, I’m not okay. I’m pissed. Every fucking day. But do you know what I’m not doing? I’m not going to visit you at work and ram how I feel down your throat. Nicolette came to me. If that upsets Mom, then she can get over it. She does not get to tell us how we should live our lives anymore. When I think of all the crap she spewed about how keeping our lives simple would make us into better people. Being poor didn’t do much for her character, did it? It sure as hell didn’t make her honest.”
Silence hung heavy in the room.
What he’d said had been a long time coming, but he regretted the way he’d said it. Rachelle had gone pale. Spencer stood and ran a hand through his hair. I need Dicks Anonymous. Hi. My name is Spencer Westerly. I’m a dick. Not a recovering one; still a dick. “Sorry, Rach. This is why I’m staying away from the family. You don’t need this. I don’t want this. I was actually in a good mood before you came.” His sister’s face crumpled. Fuck. Even when I’m trying to be nice, I’m an ass. “I didn’t mean that the way it sounded. I meant that today was a good day before—”
Rachelle raised her hands in a plea for him to stop. “I get it.” She stood. “I shouldn’t have come.”
Shit.
He sank into the seat next to the one she’d vacated. “Don’t leave. That came out wrong. I should think before I speak.”
“Why start now?” she asked in a tone that made him question if there had been a day of his life when he hadn’t been an ass. Then she smiled. “I’m just as bad. Sorry. Everything sounded better in my head before I said it.”
“I understand that feeling.”
She grimaced and sat down next to him. “I wish we could go back to the way we were before.”
“It was a lie, Rach,” he said bluntly. “I don’t want to go back, but we do need to find a way to move forward.”
“How do we do that, Spence? How do we piece our family back together?”
He shrugged one shoulder. If he had the answer, he wouldn’t have kept it to himself. “I’ll try to be less of a miserable prick. It may improve nothing, but I’ll give it a shot.”
Rachelle smiled again. “You sound serious.”
“Sadly, I am.”
“What do you need me to do?” she asked quietly.
If ever there were a loaded question . . . He looked across at his sister’s earnest expression and laid his hand briefly over hers. “Keep being you. Keep calling. Keep driving me crazy. Someday when I have my shit back together, I’ll be grateful for it.”
She nodded and blinked a few times quickly. “Join me for lunch?”
The alarm on his phone went off, announcing it was time for him to head out to meet Hailey. He silenced it and stood. “I would, but I have a date.”
Rachelle rose to her feet. “A date? During the day? Do you know this one’s name?”
He escorted her to the door of his office. “Funny. Yes, I know her name. We used to go out.”
“That narrows it down to half the women in the Boston area. Who is she?”
They stopped in front of his secretary’s desk. “Lisa, I’m going out to lunch. I may be back today; I may not.”
“Yes, Mr. Westerly.”
Rachelle linked arms with Spencer as they walked out of the office. “Are you going to tell me or is it a secret?”
“It’s not a secret, but I’m not saying anything yet.”
Rachelle stopped. “Yet? This sounds promising.”
Spencer pressed the call button for the elevator. “It’s lunch with an old friend.” His mood lifted at the thought of seeing Hailey again.
“An old friend, my ass. I’ve seen that look on your face before. In college. What was her name?”
Spencer pressed the button again. “Do you expect me to remember all of their names?”
Rachelle rolled her eyes and scratched her head. “As if you looked up from your computer and noticed any of them. Hanna. No. Heather.” She snapped her fingers. “Hailey. She was the only one who ever put that goofy, smitten expression on your face.”
Spencer opened his mouth to deny that he was meeting Hailey, but he’d never lied to Rachelle. “Goofy? Thanks.”
“Am I right? Is it her?” They stepped into the elevator together. “Oh, Spencer, be careful. You hid out at my place with what you thought was the flu after you saw her with someone else. You thought you were dying. She broke your heart. We all felt so bad for you.”
Spencer groaned as he hit the button for the lobby. The door closed. “You’re remembering it worse than it was.”
Rachelle made a face, but otherwise didn’t dispute his claim. “How did you meet up with her again?”
“She came to see me.”
“Out of the blue?”
“Yes.”
Rachelle made a disapproving sound.
“Say it,” Spencer said impatiently.
Rachelle touched his arm. “Do you think it had anything to do with how you and WorkChat are in the news lately? Mom always said that money attracts people—the wrong kind of people.”
“Hailey’s not like that.” He honestly hadn’t considered that possibility. The Hailey he remembered hadn’t been materialistic. “And if I ever do need relationship advice, trust me, Mom would be the last person I’ll turn to.”
Rachelle sighed, and they rode the rest of the way down in silence. “So where are you taking her?”
“Mangiarelli’s Pizza.”
“Dressed like that? They’ll think you’re a government health inspector.”
“First, they know me. Second, I distinctly remember you lecturing me a few years ago about needing to shed my jeans and T-shirts to look more professional.” Proof that there was indeed no pleasing his family.
“Did I?” she asked with a self-conscious smile. “Nicolette says I mother-hen you.”
They stepped out into the lobby together, and Spencer studied his sister’s expression. By nature he was a task-oriented person. He had enjoyed football for the same reason he enjoyed running his own company: the thrill of plowing through obstacles. He didn’t need a crowd to cheer for him, but he did need to make the catch everyone thought was impossible. He didn’t need luxuries, but he did need to prove that he could build his own fortune. That kind of drive didn’t leave much room for wondering how the people around him felt, but realizing how he’d failed Hailey highlighted the way he was still failing people. Rachelle was smiling, but the smile didn’t reach her eyes. The past year had been hard on him, and she looked just as tired as he felt. He pulled her in for a brief hug and said, “Isn’t that what big sisters are for?”
She nodded against his chest. When she stepped back, she wiped the corners of her eyes. “I guess.”
They walked to the door of his building together, then stood at the entrance. “I’m glad you came by, Rachelle.”
“Call me tonight to tell me how it went with Hailey.”
“No.”
“Or text me.”
“Not going to happen.”
She put a hand on one hip. “Not knowing is going to drive me crazy.”
“A short trip for you.”
She smacked his arm. “Jerk.”
A step up from dick, I guess. “If I have any news worth sharing with the family, I promise you’ll be the first one I tell.”
She gave him a long look. “If she breaks your heart again, I may have to kick her ass.”
Spencer laughed—Rachelle didn’t have a violent bone in her body. Never had. Never would. “I’ll be fine.” He checked the time on his phone. “Shit, I’m late.”