I sit on the massive guest bed at Gabe’s house, drying my hair. I felt like the stench of death was clinging to me after today's events. Something starts rattling in the bedside table and I open it to see the burner phone Ronan gave me vibrating. I snatch it out of the drawer and answer it. "Hello?"

"Ah, Victoria. How are you?" As soon as I hear Ronan's voice, anger washes over me.

"Fuck you, Ronan."

He laughs. "Feisty as ever I see. I have a weakness for feisty women, Victoria." I say nothing because the only words I want to say to him aren't particularly pleasant. "You and the American have been doing well. I think you may truly be able to destroy the Sinaloa," he says like an excited child.

"I want to talk to Cayla," I say on a growl.

"That is why I called." He sighs. "To let you know that I am pleased with your progress and the little one is safe."

"She's with you, Ronan. She's not safe."

"I would not hurt a child," he says, his voice laced with disgust. "Here..." There's a rustling.

"Ronan?" More rustling. "Ronan?"

"Tor?" A female voice comes over the line.

"Camilla?"

"I have Cayla. Say hello bonita angél. It's your Madre." My chest squeezes tight and a lump lodges in my throat.

"Momma," Cayla says, and I swallow back the rush of tears that sting my eyes.

"Hey, baby," I say through my tightening throat. "I miss you."

"Miss you," she says. I press my hand over my chest, rubbing at the deep-seated ache there. God, this is hard and horrible. I have done things and become a person I don't want to be, all to protect her, but when I hear her voice, I know I'd do it all ten times over just to hear those innocent words.

"Are you having fun with Miss Camilla?" I don't want her to be scared, to think that we left her. It's best if she just thinks she's staying with Camilla, her friend.

"Mm-hmm, we play Barbies, and…and…dollies."

I press my hand over my mouth. "That's nice."

"I miss you, Momma..." I hear the waiver in her voice. "I want you. I want you, Momma."

I sniff back tears and walk out of the bedroom. "I miss you too, so much." I walk along the hall and down the stairs, looking for Jude. "What are you doing today?"

"Don’t know."

I glance into Gabe's office and see Jude and Gabe both bent over the desk. "Do you want to talk to Daddy?" I ask. Jude's head snaps up, his eyes landing on me then the phone.

"Uh-huh."

"Okay. I love you, baby girl."

Jude walks over, holding his hand out.

"Love you," she says, her little voice barely wrapping around the words. I swipe at my tears and force myself to let go because I don't know how long it will be before Ronan takes the phone off her.

I hand the phone to Jude and he presses it to his ear. "Hey, little doll," he says, squeezing his eyes shut. I watch his face, the raw emotion wrinkling across his brow, and it breaks me.

"You have?" He pauses and lets out a hard breath. "I miss you, too, and I love you so much, Cayla. Daddy loves you so, so much." His eyes open and lock on me. "I promise, we'll get you really soon." He covers his mouth with his hand, fighting the emotion. Jude has always been a hard man, but for Cayla he's completely weak. "I love you, baby." He waits before he hangs up the phone and walks to me, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me in for a hard embrace.

His muscles are tense and he's holding me like he's afraid if he lets me go, he'll lose me. I bury my face in his chest and let my tears soak his shirt. He rests his chin in the crook of my neck and takes a shuddering breath. Loss and desperation swirl around us like an angry storm, and if it weren't for the possibility that we may be able to get her out of this, I'm certain we would just give up. But we can't.

I hear Gabe quietly walk past us and close the door. Jude strokes his hand over my hair and presses his lips against my forehead. Tears silently track down my cheeks. It just hurts so much.

"Sorry," I whisper, pulling away from him. He swipes his thumbs under my eyes and stares down at me, his brows pulled together on a frown.

"She'll be okay," he breathes against my hair.

"Promise?"

He takes a deep breath. "I can't promise anything anymore, doll."

I nod, resigned to the helplessness that has been drowning us ever since Cayla was first taken. "What do we do now?"

"Keep going until they break."

I stare into the murky green depths of his eyes. "How many trucks of money do they have to lose before they break?"

"I don't know."

"It will take too long, Jude.” I sigh and drag a hand through my hair. “We don't have enough man power for this."

There's a moment of silence, a moment where I feel him tense. "What the fuck else do you want me to do, Tor?"

I close my eyes. Gabe won't get involved in stealing money. Shoot everyone and piss on their bodies; sure, but taking money... Apparently there is honour amongst thieves. "Why does it always feel like the entire world wants to take a shit on us?" I press my forehead to his chest. Ever since I met Jude, life has always been this fight. Even when we had peace, there was that looming sense of danger that everything could come crashing down at any time, and it did. Only this time, I wasn't Jude's only weakness.