My head throbs as I try to lift it from the pillow. Even in the dark room, I can’t help it. The pain hurts so badly that I just want to cry.

I’ve always heard how, in a dangerous situation, your life flashes before your eyes. I’ve never personally experienced it, at least not until today.

But when I crossed that intersection, with the green light mind you, and saw that truck barreling towards me?

It may only have been momentary, but it happened.

Everything flashed before my eyes.

I saw my childhood, with my father. Even a glimpse of my mother flashed through my mind. Eric’s face filled my head, along with that long-lost feeling of what being loved by him used to feel like. And then, I saw Jackson.

Good lord, my mind focused on Jackson. What was going to become of him? Where would he go if I died? Who would care for him?

I was terrified for myself, and for his future. Because in that moment?

I was certain that I would never see him again.

Everything went black after that. The very next thing that I remember, is waking up here, in the emergency room, with a lot of shouting and bright lights, being poked and prodded in every damn area of my body while my clothes were cut off me.

I could hear all the voices of the doctors and nurses, but I couldn’t make out what they were saying.

Finally, I was able to focus on one face, one kind nurse, who reached up and gently rubbed my face, while explaining to me where I was, and that I was safe.

Everything is fuzzy again after that, until I finally arrived here, to this room, where the lights were dimmed for my headache, and instructed to rest while we waited for the rest of the CT scan results.

I allow my eyes to close again, falling back into a fitful sleep.

**

“YOU CAN’T FUCKING KEEP me from her!” I hear shouted, causing my eyes to snap open, and, although momentarily confused as to my surroundings, I would know that voice anywhere.

Eric.

The curtain to the room flies open, and he stands there, his whole body shaking, anger radiating off him until our eyes connect.

“Sir!” The nurse shouts, trying to jump in front of him.

“Sir you can’t just come back here!”

“The hell I can’t.” He mutters, before taking two large strides towards me, and standing right next to me, staring hard at me while his whole body shakes.

“Ave’s.” His voice is a hoarse plea as he shakes his head.

“Baby. Please tell me you’re ok.”

“I’m fine.” I manage, trying to sit up towards him, but crying out as the pain shoots down my back.

“Sir. Unless she says it’s ok, you cannot stay back here. You know what? I’m just going to call security. This is absolutely ridiculous....”

“No, it’s fine. He’s fine. Sorry about all of that. He can stay...”

“Are you certain?” She folds her arms across her chest, leveling her gaze with Eric.

The two of them begin a staring contest, causing the tension in the room to skyrocket. Finally, an exasperated sigh leaves my lips and they both turn to me.

“It’s fine. Eric, apologize to her for the way you acted. And then sit down.”

“I’m sorry.” He mutters halfheartedly before sinking down next to me.

“I’m sorry, baby.”

He reaches out to touch me, stopping short before pulling his hand back.

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t. Just hold my hand. My hand is fine.”

He grabs onto my hand with his. I feel his hand shaking as he lightly grips mine, and when my eyes move up to his?

I see pure fear there.

My heart, of course, cracks a little bit at the look in his eyes. And even though I know that I need to remain strong as to keep my own heart intact?

Right now, I just can’t.

“Baby. What happened?” His voice is barely above a whisper as he leans his face in towards mine, resting it on the rail of the bed.

“I’m not really sure. I had gone to the school today to pick up my books, and I was on my way home. Some guy ran a red light, and bam. That was it.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize. It’s not your fault.”

He wraps his other hand around our already conjoined ones, before leaning across the bed and pulling it up to his face.

His breath is hot against my skin as it leaves his lips in gasps, and he holds it tightly, not letting me go at all.

We sit there like this, for a really long time. Long enough, that I almost drift back off to sleep. But then his gravelly voice stirs me.

“You should have called me. I should have been your first call.”

“I wasn’t going to call you. You were out of town...by the way, how did you even know?”

“Laci.”

“Oh.” I briefly remember giving the nurse her name as she scanned through my phone. “Is she still here?”

He shakes his head, still gripping my hand tightly. “No. She was in the waiting room when I got here, but I sent her back to the house to relieve the babysitter. Oh, my fucking god, baby. What if Jackson had been with you?”

I swallow hard, clearly remembering the conversation that I had heard in the first few moments in the ER.

“The paramedics said that the impact completely crushed the car seat that was in the back of the car. If he had been with me...”

“The car?” he growls, pulling back and locking eyes with me.

“Tell me that you were in the Land Rover, and not that piece of fucking shit...”

I don’t respond. There’s no need, and frankly, I don’t feel like fighting with him about this right now. Of course, I was in my car. The Land Rover is still parked in the same damn spot that he left it, right in front of the steps still wearing that ridiculous red bow.

But, I’m not foolish enough to realize that had I been in that instead of the car that I had desperately tracked down after Eric had towed it away?

I wouldn’t be as inured as I am right now.

And I guarantee that the car seat wouldn’t have been crushed.

But admitting that would mean admitting that I was wrong.

And hell...I hit my head, but I didn’t hit it that hard....

So instead, I just shrug, as best I can with the thick neck brace still clamped around my neck.

“I’m not going to lose my shit.” Eric mutters, more to himself than to me. “I am not going to lose my shit...”

“Good.” I finally manage, before resting my head back and sighing. “My head hurts too much to argue with you right now.”

I drift back off to sleep after that, feeling safe and content having him right next to me.

Which honestly?

Is going to end badly for me.

**