Six years ago

You would think, that in two weeks, I would maybe be able to face Eric again. Yet, I still can’t. I’ve passed him a few times in the hallway, but I’ve forced my eyes down and besides that, I’ve avoided him at all costs.

It’s damn near impossible to even think about being around him, after drunkenly throwing myself at him and getting completely shot down.

It is hands down the most humiliating experience of my life, and there seems to be no escape.

I swear to God, there has never been a person on the face of this planet who has sent me more mixed signals than he has.

I mean, sometimes? I swear he is looking at me like he wants to just devour me. And then in the next moment?

Nothing.

Not a damn thing.

After our road trip? I totally thought that there was something there. But after that day?

It was like we were back to being strangers.

Then of course there was that party...and everything that came afterwards.

No need to rehash all of that...the memory still makes me sick.

Either way, since that day, he once again has been treating me like I’m damn near invisible.

And me?

Well, fuck.

The very worst part about all of this, is that the second that my eyes land on any part of him?

Regardless of the fact that he totally shot me down, and I am certain that he wants nothing to do with me?

My heart still begins to race, and the butterflies erupt inside of me.

Basically, every time that I see Eric?

I become a complete and utter hot mess.

This is going to a long six months.

The only bright side to any of this, is that baseball preseason has started, so he’s gone a lot more than normal. They’ve been working out indoors both before and after school, so I’ve been able to eat dinner alone since both he and my dad are gone way past the time we usually eat.

Thank goodness for small favors.

The second that I see the headlights turn into the driveway, I hightail it up to my bedroom, and I don’t come back out until the morning, only after I know that he’s already gone.

But now?

Well, right now, I’m feeling pretty screwed.

This is the first weekend in a long time that my dad has been gone...

Which means that Eric and I will be home alone together, with no barrier in between us. No one to buffer me ever having to me alone with him.

No one to keep me from making another giant ass out of myself.

The only thing that I can hope for at this point, is that he has also made plans to be gone.

That would be a blessing.

But as I step inside of the house Friday night, I realize that I am not going to be getting off that easy.

Oh, no. No no...fate can never be on my freaking side.

Because as I step right into the living room on Friday night, I am met with a visual that seems to haunt me, even in my damn sleep.

Eric is right there in front of me, sprawled out on the couch, wearing only a pair of sweatpants...he couldn’t even bother to put on a damn shirt?

Sonofabitch!

I toss my jacket and car keys down as he looks up, before turning towards the stairs and making the trek to my room, careful to keep my eyes focused down.

“Hey, Ave’s?” His voice stops me, halfway up the stairs, causing the hair on the back of my neck to stand straight up. And of course, it causes my heart to race, because...well?

That voice.

“What?” I force the word out, before turning ever so slightly and glancing down at him.

“I was thinking about renting a movie. Do you want to watch it with me?”

“Ah, no thanks.” I turn back and head to my room before he can say anything else, slamming the door behind me.

Gah.

I hate the way that I feel right now. The way that he makes me feel. It is not fair, and it’s not right. And also I’m super pissed off allowing myself to let me feel this way.

He’s such a dick. Seriously.

So, I’m good enough to watch a movie with, but not good enough for him to hook up with?

I’m being ridiculous, and I know it. But I just can’t help myself. I’m super pissed off, and I have no one to blame but myself for even trying to be with him in the first place.

I swear, I’m never drinking again.

I’ve thrown myself on my bed when I hear a knock on my door.

Inwardly I cringe, knowing that there is only one person who could be there, standing right outside of my door, probably still not wearing a damn shirt.

“Go away.”

I slip my shoe off my foot and throw it at the door for effect. When he knocks again, I proceed to launch the other one.

“Leave me alone, Eric.”

One more knock, and then, the door flies open.

“What in the hell are you doing? I told you to leave me alone!” I shout at him, as he steps inside of the room, slamming the door shut behind him, as his hands fly to his hips and he takes a deep breath.

“Yeah. I know that you did. And you see, that’s a real problem.”

“The only problem here is you. And the fact that you think that you can just barge in here. Get out, Eric. This is my space. And you are not welcome.”

Completely ignoring me, he takes several steps towards me, causing my heart to about beat out of my freaking chest, before he finally stops at the end of my bed.

“No, baby, you see, that is not the only problem here. The problem is that even though I know that I need to stay away from you...” His eyes rise to mine before locking.

And good lord...

The heat in his eyes is palpable. In fact, there is so much heat radiating off him that I swear to God, the temperature this room just rose about ten degrees...

“I can’t fucking do it.” He finishes, before shaking his head. “I can’t keep my mind off you. And it’s driving me crazy.”

“You’re insane.” I finally mutter, before scooting myself off the bed and backing myself further away from him.

“I am pretty crazy.” He nods. “Fucking crazy about you.”

“You’re so full of it. You had the chance to have me, Eric. And you shot me down. Hard. What is this, anyway? You couldn’t find anyone worthy of you to fill up your time tonight, so you decided to slum it with me? Get out.”

I point towards the door, as he grunts before shaking his head.

“Are you serious?” His eyes fly to mine, causing my heart to kick up another notch, as he takes a step towards me. “You think that’s why I didn’t have sex with you? Because you aren’t worthy of me?”

“Well, obviously...I mean, I’ve heard about you...”

“I stopped because I’m no good for you, Avery. I’m never going to be good enough for you. But even though I know that? Fuck. Trying to stay away from you is damn near killing me.”

“Wait, what?”

I lose the rest of my words, as he crosses the room to me until we are standing just a few inches apart. My chest heaves as my breathing turns rapid, and the second that our eyes lock?

My knees become so weak that I almost can’t stand up straight.

“I’m not good enough for you.” He repeats. “And you shouldn’t want me. Tell me that you don’t want me.” He pleads.

My mouth opens slightly, but no words come out. I have no words, actually. He has stolen every last one of them.

“I...” My voice trails off.

I back myself up, one last step until I’m flush against the wall. His eyes turn wild as they rake over me, and he shakes his head.

“Fuck.” He groans. “Fuck, fuck. Fuck.”

“I thought that you didn’t want me.” I finally get out, and he snorts, before running his hands through his hair.

“I’ve wanted you since the very first moment that I laid eyes on you. And the other night? When we...” he shakes his head. “Avery. I’ve jerked off to that vision every night since. In my mind, I’ve already had you. So, damn many different ways.”

“Really?”

His eyes flick up to mine, before holding my gaze.

“Really.”

This knowledge makes me feel suddenly powerful.

“So?” I ask, taking just a step towards him.

“So, what?” he croaks, watching me warily.

“So what way was your favorite?”

He blinks hard, as his eyes harden. “You mean...”

“Yes. I mean, if you’ve imagined having me so many different ways, which one was your favorite?”

“Don’t ask that.” He pleads. “I’m barely holding on by a thread here. I shouldn’t even be here. I promised your dad...”

“My dad’s not here.” I finish, before reaching out, and gently placing my hand on his arm. “But I really want to know the answer to the question, Eric.”

“I’m no good for you, Ave’s.” He warns, and honestly?

Maybe I already know this. But I’m too far gone to stop. I’ve been crushed already at his rejection...but knowing that he has been wanting me all this time, feeling the same way that I have?

Lord.

I can’t even stop myself from acting on it. And even though this isn’t me at all?

I can’t help myself.

“Take a step back.” He finally groans, and I do as he says until I am flush with the wall. He takes a cautious step towards me, until he is standing so close to me, that we are sharing the same air.

His hands reach out, gently trailing up my arms, as he leans his forehead against mine, and takes a ragged breath.

“Please tell me to stop.” He pleads again.

I swallow hard, before shaking my head.

“I can’t.” I finally whisper, before reaching out and letting my fingers feel the smooth ripples of his skin.

“Fuck.”

“Tell me what your favorite fantasy was,” I whisper as he shakes his head once before sighing.

“Tell me.” I urge, as my hands trail upwards, gently stroking his skin, listening to the way that he sighs, before finally his eyes land on mine.

But this time, when our eyes lock? No longer does he look like he’s trying to fight it. Instead? His eyes are hot, and hard on mine, as a slow sexy smile spreads across his lips.

“You really want to know?”

I just nod, as my heart races even faster in my chest. And then, in an instant, everything changes.

He reaches forward, grabbing both sides of my top before pulling hard, ripping it wide open as buttons fly all over the room. Suddenly, I’m in his arms as his mouth mashes onto mine, pushing me back against the wall and rocking his hips into me.

He braces me against the wall before reaching down and lifting me high, all while continuing to grind into me. And the feeling of it?

Well, hell.

Every nerve ending in my body is firing, as his hands move furiously over me, gripping and squeezing me, all while stroking his rock-hard erection against my core.

“Oh my god.” I murmur, as he reaches down, tugging my shirt off me before steadily unclasping my bra. Everything falls to the ground before he reaches down, tugging my leggings off and tossing them off to the side.

He sets me back down onto my feet, before grinning devilishly and sinking down to his knees.

“What...” I whisper, but it soon turns into a moan, as he nudges his head between my legs, before slinging one leg over his shoulder.

“So sweet.” He murmurs, as his nose trails the inside of my thigh. “So god damn sweet.” He nearly growls, before pulling my panties to the side and licking me, long and slow, causing me to cry out.

“Eric.” I pant, as he continues to lick and suck me with rhythmic process that has me damn near ready to explode.

“Right here, baby.” He whispers against my flesh, causing my hips to buck as my nails dig into his shoulders.

“Fuck,” I mutter, as I shamelessly grind my hips into his face.

“Yes. Baby. Fuck yes.” He growls, as his fingers dig into my hips. “You like this?”

“Oh my god. Yes. Yes.” I hiss, as my head falls back against the wall, and my limbs become so weak that I can barely stay upright.

“Come for me, baby. Come for me.” He whispers, sucking me hard before thrusting a finger inside of me.

“Oh, god. Oh god.” I rock my hips with abandon as he adds another finger to the assault.  I feel everything tighten, and then, pleasure overtakes me, and suddenly, I’m spinning, screaming out his name, and holding onto his shoulders which are the only thing keeping me upright at this point.

I’m still so far gone, that I barely feel him rise or drop his pants. I’m simply limp in his arms as he cups me underneath my behind, forcing me to wrap my legs around his waist.

When I finally open my eyes, I feel his thick head pushing at my opening, and see his blue eyes wide and locked with mine.

“Eric.”

“Tell me to stop.” He begs again, as I grip his arms.

“I can’t.” I cry, reaching down, and grabbing his ass, pulling him towards me.

“Fuck, Avery. Fuck.” He grits his teeth, before pushing a little further, ever so slightly beginning to spread me.

“Have you ever done this before?” he whispers, stopping all movement.

I nod, as an angry look flashes across his face. But as fast as it comes, it’s gone.

“Yes.” I murmur. “Once before.”

“Ok.” He breathes, before pressing his lips back to mine. “Spread your legs wide for me, baby.” He murmurs against my lips, and I do as he asks.

Good lord.

The very first time that I did this, it was over so fast that I barely realized what was happening. But not with Eric.

He takes his time, pushing each delicious inch of him inside of me, letting my body adjust to his girth, before finally, sinking all the way inside of me.

“Oh, fuck.” He murmurs, before pulling back and then easing himself inside of me again, as my head falls back and all I can do is moan his name.

“You like that?” He murmurs, pressing his lips along my neck.

“Yes.” I groan, digging my nails into his skin.

“Good.” He bites my neck before gently kissing the pain away. He moves gently one last time before stopping his movements, pulling back slightly and forcing my eyes on his.

“Tell me if I’m hurting you.” He growls, before entering me harder. It doesn’t hurt at all. Actually, the way that he moves his hips is pretty fucking amazing in my book.

It’s like he knows exactly where to cause the most pleasure.

And I’m pretty sure my toes are totally curling behind his back right now.

“It doesn’t hurt. It feels...” I moan again as he slams back into me.

I lose all my words, as he continues his pace, grabbing my hands and plastering them against the wall as he continues to rock into me.

I’m lost, spinning in space until I hear a pained sound leave his mouth.

“Fuck. Ave’s. Baby. Come now. Please...now.” He slams into me again, and, right on command, I lose myself, with him following me right down.

**

“YOU’RE SO BEAUTIFUL.” He whispers, and I sigh, before snuggling back into his embrace.

“Thank you,” I whisper back, closing my eyes as my head leans against his chest.

He pulls me close, pressing another kiss to my forehead before his hand gently strokes my back.

“I have no idea how this is going to work, baby. I’ve never been a relationship kind of guy. But with you? Fuck.” He blows out his breath before tightening his embrace.

“For you, I want to be different. Because I can’t imagine not having you be mine.”

“We’re going to have to keep it quiet,” I tell him and feel him nod against me.

“I know. Your dad will kill me if...”

“He won’t find out. It will just be between us. Our thing.”

“I don’t know how I’m going to be able to keep it quiet, Ave’s. I literally want to climb up onto the rooftop and scream out to everyone that you’re mine.”

“You’re crazy.” I giggle, but I stop as soon as he pulls back, and his eyes meet mine. The serious look in his eyes causes my laughter to die in my throat, as he reaches out, cupping my chin in his palm and his thumb reaches up, stroking my lip.

“I am crazy.” He whispers, dipping his head down towards me. “Crazy in love with you, Avery Cooper. And I know that I don’t deserve you, but I promise you this. I am going to try so damn hard to be exactly what you need. No matter what I have to do, I’m going to prove to you that no one could ever love you better than I can.”

“Eric...”

“Shhh.” He strokes my lip again before reaching over and gently pressing his lips to mine.

“You don’t have to say it back right now. I just needed you to know. Needed you to try to understand the way that I feel about you. I’ve never felt this way before, about anyone. I think that I fell in love with you the very first time that I laid eyes on you. I need you to know that.”

“I love you too,” I whisper back, as his eyes widen.

The words leave my mouth before I can even realize that I’m saying it. But never in my life have I meant anything more than those four words.

And I know in this moment, that I will never feel this way about anyone else ever again.

Eric Wayne is it for me.

“Don’t say that unless...”

“I mean it.” I lean in closer to him, pressing my lips to his. “I mean it with every inch of my heart.”

“Good.” He grins down at me before wrapping his arms around me and rolling us, so that I’m underneath him again. “Because I plan on making you mine forever. And someday? I’m gonna make you my wife. I may not deserve you, but I’m going to spend the rest of my life doing nothing but making you happy.”