“Hey.” Laci grabs my arm, pulling my attention away from Mr. McAbey and the director of the hospital that we just raised a shit load of money for.

“Somethings up with Avery. She didn’t look so good, I caught her leaving the bathroom and honestly, she looked about ready to pass out.”

“Seriously?” I glance back to the bar where I spied her just a few moments ago before my eyes travel across the room to the exit.

“Where is she now?”

“I think that she may have left. She was calling for a cab when I walked away. I told her to sit tight and that I would just come and get you. But she was pretty adamant that she didn’t want to bother you since she knew that you needed to mingle. She didn’t look so good...”

“Thanks, Lac.” I nod at her, before giving a slight wave to both men that I was just talking to and spinning on one heel, heading towards the door.

I’m just about to the door when a sea of red stops me, and I’m suddenly hit with an all too familiar perfume.

“Eric.” She purrs, before reaching out her hand and placing it on my arm. “It’s so good to see you.”

“It’s nice to see you too, Mara. But I’m sorry, I don’t really have time right now to chat.”

“I’ve been trying to call you for weeks now. I’ve been hoping that we could catch up.”

I sigh hard, trying to bypass her, but unable. I know exactly what her definition of catch up is. And while a few months ago, I would have most definitely wanted that with her?

These days, not a chance in hell.

“Nothing for us to catch up about, Mara. I haven’t returned your calls because I’m with someone. Actually, I’m getting married.” I can’t even stop my smile at the words. I hate that the very first time that they leave my lips is to a woman who I use to occasionally sleep with, but so be it. Maybe she needs to hear it so that she will finally leave me alone.

“So if you could just excuse me...”

“Married?” Her mouth drops open for just a split second before she regains her composure. “You’re getting married? Wow, well, that’s just...fabulous. Lucky girl.”

“I’m the lucky one.” I try to step past her, but again, she steps in front of me. “Mara, if you don’t mind, I really need to find someone.”

“You’re fiancé? The one not wearing an engagement ring?” Her eyebrows raise before a smug smile crosses her lips.

“Yes. That’s the one.”

“Must not be very high maintenance, if she’s agreed to be your wife without the rock.”

“Oh, she’ll get the rock.” At this point, I’m just frankly annoyed as fuck that Mara will not move out of my damn way. “Not every woman needs that though. Some are actually in it for love.”

“Hmm. I see. Well, if you’re looking for her, I can show you where she is.”

“You can?”

She nods, before tilting her head towards the staircase.

“Yeah. Since you and I are old friends and all, when I saw her looking so ill, I showed her a place to lay down. I’m guessing she must be pregnant or something?”

“What?”

My eyes widen, as the thought circles inside of me. I wonder for a split second if that’s why Avery wasn’t’ feeling well...

But I don’t allow my mind to go there because that would just get my hopes up for something that may not be.

“That would be awesome.” I grin, before shaking my head. “But she’s not. What gave you that idea?”

She shrugs before leading me towards the staircase. “She looked like it. Plus, I just figured that’s why you were marrying her.”

From behind her, I roll my eyes.

Avery doesn’t even remotely look pregnant, and plus? That would hands down be the best thing that ever happened to me, aside from winning back her love and having Jacks in my life.

But Mara wouldn’t understand that, nor do I feel the need to explain myself to her. She’s probably one of the most self-absorbed people that I’ve ever met, and would never understand the idea of actually loving someone for who they are and not for what they can give you.

What we had was never serious, it was always only about the sex. I would be lonely and need a fix, and she was always more than willing to give it to me.

There were never any feelings, or strings attached. It was always just a guaranteed booty call.

“She’s up here?” I question, as Mara sashays her hips up the staircase and towards the landing.

“Yes, of course. She needed to lay down.”

“Jesus,” I mutter, feeling like a royal asshole that Avery was this sick and I had no idea. She seemed completely fine earlier.

Maybe it was something that she ate...or maybe our hour-long romp in the closet...

I follow Mara to a door, that she cracks open slightly before nodding her head inside.

“She’s in there.”

“Alright. Thanks, Mara.”

“Of course.” She winks at me, as I step into the room.

But before I’m two steps into the room, the door slams shut behind me, and suddenly, Mara’s hands are all over me.

“Oh, Eric, we can cut to the chase now. She’s not in here, it’s just you and me.”

Before I can even get a word out, her dress is dropped to the floor, leaving her in nothing more than a pair of red lace panties that are barely covering anything.

Her large, milky white breasts are out and completely exposed to me, as she tosses her head over her shoulder and grabs ahold of my neck.

“Jesus. I’ve missed you so much.” She murmurs, before pressing her lips to mine.

I jerk back, pushing her away from me, but she is nothing if not persistent. Her breasts are pressed back against me in about two seconds flat.

“Mara, what the fuck?” I pull away, as she pouts, but continues to come towards me.

“Oh, Eric, come on. You don’t have to pretend anymore. There’s no one else around, watching. We can still do this, and I promise. Your fiancé will never find out. You know me. My lips are sealed.”

She pretends to zipper her mouth shut, before grinning wickedly at me and dropping to her knees in front of me.

“They can also be sealed around this too.” She reaches up, grabbing my cock through my pants and groaning, before tugging hastily at the zipper.

“Fuck,” I growl, jumping back from her, even as she jumps to a standing position and follows me towards the door.

“Eric, really? You’re going to say no to this?” She motions her arms down her body, which honestly, is a damn fine one.

But she doesn’t hold a candle to Avery, and plus? Mara was only ever someone that I spend my nights with.

She was never someone that I loved, and no way in hell could she ever mean what Avery does to me.

“Listen. Mara. I appreciate the gesture, really, I do. But I’m not a single guy anymore. I’m in love, and I’m getting married. What we had was just sex, and, I’m not in that place in my life anymore. So, this?” I motion between her body and mine as I pull at the door.

“This can never happen again.”

“Oh, fuck you, Eric!” She reaches down for her dress, snatching it off the floor before turning angry green eyes my way. “Go ahead and go home to your little piece of trash. But you will get bored of her, and maybe? I won’t be around waiting for you when that happens.”

“She’s not a piece of trash.  She’s the most important person in my life.  I’ve loved that girl since I was seventeen.  And honestly?  You may think you’re something, but I fucking promise you.  After having Avery?  I’d never go digging through the trash for a piece of you again.” I mutter, before reaching up and trying to pull my shirt together minus the buttons that she ripped off.

I slam the bedroom door behind me and turn towards the stairs so fast, that I totally miss the snap of the camera, catching me at the all-time worst possible moment.

**

“AVE’S.” I SWING OPEN the door to our bedroom, my adrenaline still pumping from the very fucked up encounter that I just had with Mara, before stopping dead in my tracks at the sight in front of me.

“Baby?” I question, as I stare at the suitcase open on our bed, watching in horror as she shoves her clothing inside.

“Oh, Eric. Hey.” She barely even looks at me before grabbing more clothing off the bed and adding it to the suitcase.

“Ave’s, baby. You gotta help me out here. What in the hell is going on? Why did you just leave the party? And why in the fuck are you packing?”

“I really don’t want to do this right now. I didn’t expect you until later. I figured we could talk about it in the morning.”

“Listen, baby. I can explain, ok? Just, stop for a second and listen to me.”

She freezes, before spinning towards me.

“Explain what, Eric?”

“Mara...is this because of Mara? Is that why you’re leaving? Baby...she cornered me. I was looking for you, and she...”

Her face turns sheet white, as her eyes widen. She takes a step closer to me, before swallowing hard, and reaching up, touching the spot on my shirt which no longer has buttons.

“Oh my god.” She breathes, before narrowing her eyes. “You fucking asshole.”

“Baby, no. No, no! Listen. I didn’t do anything. She threw herself at me, and...”

“No?” She reaches up and shoves me hard, before her eyes turn wild.

“Look at you! Your shirt is ripped open, and you have bright red lipstick marks on your neck. I should have known better than to trust you. I should have fucking known!”

“Avery!”

“No! No, no, no. Just, don’t Eric, ok? You don’t need to explain anything to me. Frankly, I don’t even want to hear whatever bullshit excuse is about to come out of your mouth. All you ever do, is spew bullshit!”

“You don’t know anything, because you aren’t listening to a damn word that I’m saying! I’m telling you, that nothing happened. But you? You were already here, packing before you even saw me. So, what the fuck, Ave’s? Why were you running away this time? What was it? Because the last time that I saw you, you were in love with me. And then I come home, and you have half of your shit packed up, ready to run away without a fucking explanation. So, what gives?”

“I just realized that this is never going to work out. And now?” Her eyes narrow before leveling with mine. “Now I’m certain that I was making the right choice.”

She turns her back to me and storms to the closet, wrenching it back open and grabbing things before tossing them back into the suitcase.

“Oh, you just realized that? So, it’s only your decision now, is that how this works? You just decide that you’re done with me and I’m supposed to be ok with that?”

“And I’m just supposed to be ok with women throwing themselves at you?”

“Like I can help that!”

“Oh, my god. You are so fucking full of yourself.”

“I’m so... fuck this.” I shake my head, before storming towards the bed. “You have got to be fucking kidding me. Stop.” I grab the suitcase before chucking it off  the bed and across the room.

“Jesus, Eric!”

“You are not going anywhere. Not until you tell me what in the fuck is going on.”

“Oh? Well that could go both ways. Why don’t you tell me why the fuck you’re coming home with lipstick all over your neck and your shirt damn near ripped off you?”

“Are you even gonna listen to me?”

“Sure, I’ll listen. Probably not going to believe a fucking word that you say, though.”

I open my mouth to start explaining myself, when she shakes her head and holds up her hand.

“You know what? On second thought? I don’t even want to do this right now.”

“No?” I throw my hands up, before I nearly fucking lose it. “Tough shit, baby. You are not leaving this fucking house until you tell me what in the hell is going on!”

“It’s just not going to work, ok? This, us?” She motions between us before shaking her head. “It’s not going to work. We could never make it work, Eric. There’s no sense in dragging it out. I think we both know...”

“We don’t know a damn thing! You seem so fucking sure that it isn’t going to work out, but me? Fuck, Ave’s! I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life! I love you. I love Jackson. The two of you are the only fucking thing that I want, for the rest of my life. What do I need to do to prove it to you? What else can I possibly do? What else do you need me to say? I love you, Avery. I want to marry you. I want to spend the rest of my fucking life with you, and only you. What do I need to do to make you see that?”

“Well, for starters, you could stop fucking cheating on me.”

Silence fills the room, as our eyes lock, both of us widening our stance and crossing our arms.

“I did not cheat on you.”

“How in the hell do you do that?” She shakes her head, as her breathing turns ragged. “How can you stand there, and look me in the eye like that, and lie...right to my face!”

“Because I’m not lying.”

“It is a lie. I’ve watched you cheat on me, Eric. Are you forgetting that? I’ve seen it. With my own two eyes.”

“We are always going to go back to that, aren’t we?”

“Once a cheater, always a cheater.” She slams the top of the suitcase shut before beginning to zip it. “And I’m done giving you chances. I should have never trusted you this time. Shame on me.”

“Jesus.” I sink down onto the bed, placing my head in my hands, trying to force myself to calm down. Trying to make myself think a rational thought. Because right now?

I’m so fucking furious that I might just explode.

I inhale sharply, before blowing it back out, and finally, letting my eyes travel up to her.

She’s standing in front of me, her arms wrapped around her small frame, staring down at me with wide eyes as her lip quivers.

If I could go back in time, I swear to god, I would punch college age me right in the nuts. Repeatedly.

Because that asshole wrecked something that would have been my everything, and no matter what I do, I can’t seem to fix the damage done.

“Can we please stop yelling at each other, and talk about this calmly? Like adults? Because I really do not want to do this with you, Ave’s.”

She exhales slowly, before shaking her head.

“Eric, I just can’t right now.”

“What happened tonight? Something had to have happened, because before the gala, things were good. And then...fuck. You agreed to marry me. But somewhere in between there, things changed, and I’m sitting her totally blindsided. You already had your mind wrapped around leaving me, before I even stepped foot into this bedroom. So, what happened, Ave’s? You’ve got to talk to me. I know that you don’t owe me a damn thing, but please. Please help me figure this out.”

“I just realized tonight that no matter what, you could never be just mine. You have women throwing themselves at you all the time. And then? You come strutting in here like this? Covered in another woman’s lipstick, and you actually think that I’m just going to look past that? Eric. No. I’ve let you make a fool out of me too many times in the past. And I’m done. This?” She motions between us and around the room.

“This is done.”

“No.” I stand up, storming across the room to her, and wrapping my arms around her.

“We’re not done. We’re never going to be fucking done. Because I can’t fucking live without you.”

“Well, you better learn fast then.” She shoves me away hard before turning and storming to the door. “Because as soon as the sun comes up, I’m fucking out of here. And I don’t ever want to see your face again.

**

I DIDN’T SLEEP A WINK. I tossed and turned the entire damn night, before finally, getting out of bed and heading down to my gym.

I’ve run over ten miles by the time that the sunlight starts streaming through the windows, but still I don’t stop.

I continue to push myself, trying to run off the feeling of dread that sits in the pit of my stomach.

But no matter how hard I push myself? That feeling will not fucking leave.

Because I already know exactly how this is going to play out.

She’s going to leave me.

I know that she is. I can feel it in my soul, and I know that there isn’t a damn thing that I can do about it. I planned on coming home last night and explaining what had happened with Mara, but now I know it doesn’t matter what I explain.

She’s never going to believe me.

I’ve hurt her too many times in the past, and this time?

Even though I didn’t intentionally do anything, it doesn’t even matter. All it took was one issue, and she’s already out the door.

I’ve got to be honest with myself here.

She’s had one fucking foot out the door this entire time. She’s always been just waiting for the other shoe to drop, and for me?

It’s done nothing except leave me uneasy.

I love that woman...good fucking god I love her more than it’s possible to love another human being.

But I also can’t continue, knowing that she would leave me in the blink of an eye.

I’ve gone through so many damn emotions in the course of the night. From feeling completely and utterly crushed, to also being filled with so much damn rage that she won’t even listen to a word that I’m saying.

Part of me hopes that she will wake up today with a new outlook and maybe be ready to hear me out, because she meant what she said when she told me that she trusts me.

But deep down, I already know that no way is that going to happen.

Because no way, in this world, is Avery going to ever actually trust me.

I know that I’m the reason for it. I know damn well that I fucked up in the past. But the thing is, no matter what I do, no matter how hard I love her or much affection I show her, I can’t change it.

I can never change our past, even though I want to.

If I could, I would take it all back, in a heartbeat.

But I can’t. And no matter how hard I try, and no matter how much love I show Avery, it doesn’t matter.

Without trust, this could never work out.

I shut off my machine when I hear the stairs creak. I take a ragged breath, before forcing myself to walk to the entry way on my already spent legs.

Avery stands there, in the hallway, looking sheet white.

“Hey.” I approach her slowly, but as she turns?

Her face stops me in my tracks.

“How could you?” she whispers, tears streaming down her face.

“What? How could I what?”

The dread that has been building in me all morning spills over, as I glance down and see her suitcase sitting at her feet.

“You know what?” she shakes her head, before handing her phone to me. “Last night, before I went to bed? I prayed to God to give me a sign. To show me what in the world I was supposed to do. And then I wake up to this?”

I glance at the phone and my blood runs cold.

On the screen, pure as day, is a picture of me, my pants disheveled, leaving a bedroom. And in the background...

Fuck.

In the background is Mara. You can’t see her face in the picture, but I know exactly who it is. Her face is blurred but it’s obvious that behind me stands a woman’s naked body.

And it looks awful.

“This.” She shakes her head before wiping away her tears. “This is why your shirt was ripped open. This is the reason that you had lipstick all over your neck. This is why I can never be with you. Because you tried to profess your love to me last night, when you had just finished doing this.”

“Avery, let me explain.”

“No.” She shakes her head before holding up her hand. “Please don’t. I really don’t even want to hear it.”

“You need to hear it. Because this looks bad. But I swear, it’s not what you think.”

She half snorts before wiping at her eyes.

“I don’t even know who I’m more pissed off at right now. Me, or you. Because I knew better, Eric. I fucking knew better than to ever get wrapped up with you again. And just like always, you win me over with your words, but the second that I’m not around? The fucking second that I leave? You do what you always do. I can’t even believe that I let myself love you again. And I cannot fucking believe that you would allow my son to love you, when you knew that you could never follow through.”

“Baby, please...”

“Don’t.” She shakes her head hard before backing up at I try to close the distance between us. “Just don’t.”

She turns on one heel, stalking towards the front door. She tosses her suitcase onto the porch before spinning around and heading towards the stairs.

“Avery. Fucking wait a second!”

I grab onto her, trying like hell to spin her around to face me. But she swings her fists and begins to shove me hard, swinging her limbs wildly.

“Get your hands off me! Do not touch me. Do not ever touch me again. You disgust me.”

I drop my hands, trying like hell to find some words. Except, not a single one surfaces.

My world is crashing down around me, and I cannot say a damn thing.

I shake my head hard before following her up the stairs.

“Please, baby. Please listen to me. I love you, Avery. I would never cheat on you.”

“No? So, you just randomly hang out in bedrooms with naked women? You just let random women claw at you, and rip buttons off your shirts, and press their lips all over your neck? Please, Eric. I’ve been a fool for you, but I am not stupid.”

“She came onto me. She told me that you were in that room laying down, and then she cornered me. You have to believe me.”

“I don’t have to do anything. And I’m not going to sit around and let you make a fool out of me again. Congratulations, Eric. If this was some kind of stupid game, well, then you won. You won me back, only to break my heart again.”

“I never wanted to hurt you. I would never do anything to hurt you!”

“Too late.”

She shoves past me, and continues storming down the hallway, pausing at Jacksons door.

“I need you to let me get him and leave.”

“I can’t just stand by...”

“I need you to let me get him and leave without you making a scene.”

“Ave’s.”

She spins her head towards me, before holding my gaze.

“If you won’t do it for me, then at least do it for him. Give him a hug and tell him goodbye. And then step aside and let me leave.”

“No...no.”

She closes her eyes before inhaling sharply. “It’s a very simple thing that I’m asking.”

“I’ll leave.”

A disgusted sound leaves her mouth. “What?”

“I’ll leave. You guys can stay here. And then, when you cool down, and we can talk...”

“I don’t think that you’re understanding me, Eric. We are over. Over!  I don’t ever want to see you again, nor do I ever plan on talking to you again. I’m not going to continue to live here, I don’t want anything from you, ever again. I’m taking my son, and we are walking out that door. So, when I go in there and get him, and he walks out here? I need you to give him a hug and tell him goodbye. That’s it.”

I can literally feel my heart breaking in my chest. It actually hurts so fucking badly, that I can feel the jagged edges slicing me with each breath.

I don’t even know how we got here...yesterday, everything was perfect. Avery was going to be my wife, and I was hoping to whirlwind everything into a weekend wedding.

And now?

We’re over.

Just like that.

“You were just waiting for something, weren’t you?” I swallow hard, as her eyes widen.

“What?”

“You were just waiting for a reason to call this quits. This entire time, you’ve had one foot already out the door. You keep saying that I had you back and threw you away, but did I really have you, Avery? Because it doesn’t really feel like you were ever all in.”

“You have got to be fucking kidding me.” She crosses her arms before stomping across the hallway, stopping directly in front of me.

She points her finger into my chest, a little bit harder with each and every word.

“You’re trying to turn this around on me? You fucking asshole.”

“I’m not trying to turn anything around on you. But you have to admit it. It’s the truth. You’ve been looking for a reason to run away from me since day fucking one. And now that you think you have it? You’re just gonna take off like I never even mattered.”

“I loved you. I let my son love you. You think that I would just run away from that? But I refuse to be that girl again. The one who blindly loves you. The one who looks like a fool for staying with you because you are an unfaithful asshole. I will not do that again. And maybe you’re right. Maybe I have had one foot out the door. But it’s only because my gut told me not to trust you. I let my heart fall in love with you Eric, but now I’m going with my head. We’re over, and I hope to God that I never see your face again. Whoever she was, I hope that she was worth it. Because you have officially lost me.”

“She set me up.”

She waves her hand before taking two long strides back to Jacksons door. She pauses for only a second before opening it up and stepping inside.

Just a few moments later, she emerges, with the little boy still in his pajamas and resting his sleepy little head on her shoulder.

She clutches his suitcase in her other hand, before turning and heading towards the staircase.

My heart aches as I reach for him, and the smile on his face when he sees me is enough for me to know that losing the two of them is something that I will never fucking get over.

My entire life is ending, as my heart is pretty much ripped out of my chest.

“Daddy.”

I take him from Avery, before pulling him close to me and squeezing him tight.

Avery heads down the stairs with the suitcase, giving me a few moments alone with him to say my goodbyes.

But I just can’t fucking do it.

Maybe I’m just a coward, or maybe it’s just wishful thinking.

But I cannot bring myself to tell him that I’m probably never going to see him again.

I hold him for a few moments and stroke his back, before breathing him in deep and kissing his cheek.

“You and Momma are going on a trip,” I tell him, as his eyes widen.

“Where are we going?”

“Mommy will tell you, ok?”

“Are you coming too?”

“Not this time, buddy.”

As his face falls, the last remaining straw holding me together collapses. I feel myself about to totally lose control, so I carry him down the stairs.

“I’ll help you get him into the car.”

“No need. Our bags are packed, and I can do it.”

“Please don’t take this from me too,” I whisper, as she just shakes her head.

“You should have thought about that yesterday. C’mere baby.”

Jackson hesitates before reaching out his arms to her.

And then, just as fast as they came back into my life?

They’re gone.

**