Kace

She was naked, face down in her bed, me sitting next to her. She looked comfortable, relaxed, and when I reached down to move a couple of wet strands of hair out of her face, she smiled. Her eyes were shut, but I didn’t really expect us to get to sleep anytime soon. There was still plenty of day and night to kill off, but wasting time with her in bed seemed to be the best thing ever.

I kept asking myself what was happening with Sienna, but I think the answer to that question was obvious from the second I met her. This was what falling in love was like. The push and pull of want and need, fighting off feelings that were only going to keep growing, to prove themselves worthy of time.

And in reality, time was all I could give to Sienna. I could take the shittiest looking piece of furniture and make it look new, but in reality, all I was doing was giving that item more time. It was fucked up to think about. Maybe it was my way of wishing that I’d had more time… with my grandfather before he died. With my father when he was swallowed up by the bottle. With my mother, who I don’t remember meeting. With Andy… my best friend and the first girl I loved.

I took a deep breath and tried to ease my mind and just be in the moment with Sienna. The way her hair was dark and wet. The natural curve of her back and her waist. The covers beginning at the swell of her ass. I sat there in nothing but my boxers. We were comfortable together. We were good together.

“I took shit from Mack over the sugar dish,” I said with a grin.

Sienna opened her eyes. “What?”

“Yeah.”

“So you used the sugar dish?”

“It’s kind of convenient,” I said.

“Told you,” she said. She lifted her head. “I found it in a thrift store. I was walking around, thinking about you.”

“That’s cute, darlin’,” I said. “I’ve rubbed off on you.”

Sienna snorted. “Yeah, you have.”

I laughed, realizing the comment had more than one meaning.

If Sienna wasn’t sexy enough, she knew how and when to be silly and dirty.

“I didn’t really mean to just leave that and run,” Sienna said. “It’s kind of stupid now that I look back on it.”

“Nah. You were just jealous.”

“Jealous?”

“Yeah. Another woman got me a shutter. So you got me a sugar dish.”

“That just sounds weird. Maybe even creepy.”

“I’m not the one buying creepy stuff.”

“But you attract creepy people,” Sienna said.

“You just called yourself creepy,” I said with a wink.

“Oh, well. I’m not exactly thinking straight.”

“Too much water and steam?” I asked with a grin. “That could make you feel off.”

“Yeah, it’s totally that.”

I moved down the bed until my head rested against the pillow and I was just a few inches from Sienna.

“I really care about you, Sienna. I don’t put labels and timeframes on things, okay? I just want you and me to be real. I thought maybe I could just stay away if that’s what you wanted, but you kept running through my head. Because there’s so much more behind your eyes, darlin’. And maybe in your life you haven’t had the chance to open up and feel loved and held and cared for. But that’s not going to happen with me. If you decide you want to give me nothing but your ass in the shower, then I’ll smile. But just know that I’d like a piece of your heart too.”

“So you want my heart and my ass?” Sienna asked.

I leaned forward and kissed the tip of her nose. “Fuck yeah, darlin’.”

That’s when it finally hit me. What I was saying. What I was doing.

And what it really meant.

I was in love with Sienna.

* * *

I saw her walk through the door and I jumped up, almost stupidly, like a loyal dog for its owner. She hadn’t even seen me and I was already smiling. I felt like slapping myself across my face.

What the fuck, Kace?

It took her a few seconds to find me and when she did, she smiled. From across the room… the connection…

“Fuck,” I whispered, trying not to move my lips all that much.

Sienna was a dream as she walked toward the table. I pulled the chair out for her and sat next to the large window. Yeah, maybe it wasn’t super romantic to hang out where you always did, but I was showing Sienna my life. What I enjoyed. Sitting in the same seat at the same window, but normally, it was Mack sitting across from me.

I hugged Sienna and snuck a quick kiss from her.

“Much better view here,” I said.

“Meaning?”

“Mack meets me here,” I said. “We sit and talk about life. Drink a beer or two. He flirts with the bartender and I usually sneak up on the roof to look around. But I could sit across from you all night, darlin’. You look beautiful.”

“Thanks,” she said. “You don’t need to flirt with me too much. You’re pretty much going to get some, no matter what you do.”

“Oh, good. So we can leave now?” I asked and pointed toward the door.

“After you buy me a beer.”

“Oh, I have to buy drinks now? I thought we would just sit and talk. Figured my charm would get you drunk enough to make bad decisions.”

Sienna laughed. “You’re a moron sometimes, Kace. But I love it. I love…”

My bottom lip quivered as she clung to the last word that would have definitely changed the course of the night.

I opened my mouth, wanting her to finish her thought.

That’s when I felt someone grab my shoulder. “Look at this. Giving up my seat for a woman.”

I looked to my right and Mack stood there.

“What the hell are you doing here?” I asked.

“Came out for a drink. Didn’t expect to see you here.”

“I’m always here,” I said.

“Not you. Her.”

Mack nodded to Sienna.

“You must be Mack,” Sienna said.

“You must be Sienna,” Mack said. “The sugar dish chick.”

“Chick?” I asked, raising my eyebrow. “You say the word chick again and I’m going to punch you.” I looked at Sienna. “And, yeah, this is Mack.”

“Thanks for keeping this guy honest,” Mack said.

“Honest?” she asked.

“Yeah,” Mack said. “Working hard. Looking happy. Not so fucking miserable about life.”

“Jesus, man,” I said. “What the hell…”

“You’re happy, Kace?” Sienna asked with a grin.

“Hell yeah he is,” he said. “Want to know how I know?”

“Yeah,” she said.

“He hasn’t busted my balls about my sunglasses,” Mack said, pointing to the stupid aviators stuck to his face.

“Wow,” I said. “You’re out of your mind, Mack.”

“That’s so cute,” Sienna said. "Look at you two. You’re like brothers.”

“Best friends and brothers,” Mack said.

“Go and find someone else to bother,” I said. “Go and flirt with Eve”

“Nah,” Mack said. “That didn’t work out.”

“Who’s Eve” Sienna asked.

“The bartender,” I said. “Mack has a thing for bartenders.”

“Thankfully I’m just a waitress,” Sienna said.

“I could always change my tastes,” Mack replied with a grin.

“Are you seriously going to even pretend to flirt with her right now?” I asked.

“It’s okay,” Sienna said. “He makes your flirting look good.”

“Ha, burn on you,” Mack said.

I laughed. “Yeah. Burn on me. You going to disappear or what?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Mack said. “I’m getting ditched now. I’m the third wheel on date night.”

“Deal with it,” I said.

“Do me a favor?” Mack asked.

“What?”

“Get me a beer. I don’t want to have to deal with Everight now.”

“Oh, that’s sad,” I said.

“He’s right,” Sienna said. “Afraid to talk to a woman who rejected you is sad.”

“And to think we could have been something together, Sienna,” Mack said. He touched his chest. “You just broke my heart.”

“I’m going to break your jaw if you keep talking,” I said.

“Get me a beer and I’ll vanish like a dove in a magic show.”

I shook my head.

“Don’t magicians make doves appear?” Sienna asked.

“I grew up poor,” Mack said. “The doves at the magic shows I went to disappeared.”

“Oh, Christ, I’ll go and get you a fucking beer,” I said. “Just stop talking.”

I moved and Mack stepped in front of me. “You sure you want me alone with her? I can’t help what happens next.”

I look over at Sienna.

She was smiling, loving this.

“Yeah, I’ll take my chances,” I said.

I walked to the bar and ordered three beers from Eve She smiled at me, went for the drinks, and when she put them on the bar for me, she nodded.

“Mack afraid to talk to me?” she asked.

“Looks that way.”

“Wimp. He got too drunk one night and couldn’t…”

“Oh,” I said. “Whiskey, huh?”

“Yeah. He took it hard.”

“Well, technically, it was soft, right?” I asked with a wink.

Shelaughed. “Tell him I said hey.”

“You can do that when he pays his tab. These three beers are going on it.”

“Does Mack know that?”

“He will,” I said. “Thanks.”

I Cassied the drinks to the table and put them all down.

“How’s Eve?” Mack asked.

“Look at you being such a softie,” I said.

Mack’s face dropped. “What does that mean?”

“Nothing,” I said. I patted his shoulder. “Your face looks a little… limp.”

“Shut up, man,” Mack said with gritted teeth.

“Tell you what,” I said. “You can have this table and stare at Eve all night. I have plans with Sienna. Just don’t sit there and look… flaccid.”

Mack shook his head. “It’s not…”

I laughed. I put my hand out for Sienna to take. “Let’s go for a walk, darlin’.”

“Sure,” Sienna said. “Nice to meet you, Mack.”

“You too. I’ll never forget tonight.”

I leaned toward Mack. “From what I heard, Eve hasn’t forgotten about what happened during your night with her. Or what didn’t happen.”

“Fuck off,” Mack whispered back.

“She likes you though. Go and pay your tab and try again.”

“My tab? I don’t have a tab.”

I lifted my beer bottle and grinned. “You do now, man. Thanks for the drink.”

We walked away and Mack called out to Sienna, “I bought you a drink. You owe me a kiss.”

Sienna didn’t hesitate for a second as she turned and puckered up, kissing the air.

God, I fucking loved her.

The more I thought it, the more I felt it. It surged through me and made me very uneasy.

“Where are we going?” Sienna asked.

I slipped my arm around her. “To the place where we first met.”

* * *

I stepped out onto the roof and held the door for Sienna. She stopped and stole a kiss from me, smiling.

“Mack is cool.”

“He’s something else,” I said. “He’s a good guy.”

“Hope he and Eve work out their differences.”

“Yeah, right. I don’t see him as the relationship type. He’s into real estate now.”

“And you’re right by his side. As a good friend.”

“I didn’t bring you up here to talk about Mack.”

“Of course not. So what are we doing up here?”

I slipped a hand to her waist and walked her to the spot where I first saw her standing. I looked out to the dark horizon and felt a sense of relief.

“Can I ask you something, darlin’?”

“Sure.”

“When you were up here that night, swaying back and forth, were you thinking…” I pointed to the edge. “Were you thinking what you thought the night I saved you off the other roof?”

She looked down.

I touched her chin and made her look at me. “It’s okay, Sienna. It’s totally okay.”

“I don’t know what I was thinking,” she whispered. “That night. The other night. Most nights. When I’m with you, Kace, I feel like I can think. Clearly. Because you understand.”

I stepped in front of her and backed up so that I could lean on the high ledge of the roof. I eased the fingers of my right hand to her left hand, interlocking our fingers tight, gently pulling her toward me.

“I hope that no matter what else happens in your life, darlin’, you know you’re never alone.”

“That’s easy to say, but hard to make the heart believe.”

“Because people always leave, right?”

“Or die.”

“Or die,” I said. “Right.”

Sienna pulled her hand away from me and took a drink.

“It was always the same thing with her,” Sienna said. “The same thing. She was the complete opposite of my grandmother, but yet they were the same person. My grandmother was cleaned up and just a bad person. My mother was drunk all the time, which made her a bad person.” Sienna looked at me. “And all these years later, I wonder if my mother drank to cover up the nasty part that wanted to come forward. You know? Like she was cursed or something.”

“Nah,” I said. “That’s comfort, darlin’. For you and her.”

“Comfort?”

“Yeah. She comforted herself with that reason. And you comfort yourself with the same reason. To justify it. It’s like anything in life, we want a fucking answer so we could appreciate it or move on from it. You know? Some things you just don’t get the answer to. And sometimes, they are the most important things.”

“Like Andy?” Sienna asked, cutting into my heart.

“Yeah. Exactly like that. I can comfort myself a hundred ways with what she did. But I never got the fucking reason. Was it because of that night? Was it years in the making? What was it that finally…”

My throat closed.

I swallowed hard.

“I’m sorry, Kace,” Sienna whispered. “I didn’t mean to twist this back on you.”

“It’s okay,” I said. “Our lives parallel each other, darlin’.”

“I know,” she said. “That’s probably why I feel the way I do about you.”

She paused for a second and I stood up straight, ready to take her into my arms and tell her that I fucking loved her.

But that pause ended quickly and she dove into her own heart.

Her eyes quickly glossed over.

Even if she didn’t love me, at least we could bleed together.