“You’re the best girlfriend I’ve ever had.” It was a slip of the tongue, but I said it, alright. The words definitely came from me. I’m not sure why, or how, but they did. Now, I’m face to face with Emily and I have some explaining to do.

“Girlfriend?” she repeats. “Are you serious?”

When I gaze into her eyes, I see the look of a woman of beauty and passion, who has been let down far too many times. In another life, Emily was probably a princess somewhere in Europe, or the daughter of a rich Duke. That’s how special she is.

In this modern world, she was never given a chance. That’s why I don’t want to let her down. I don’t want to promise her the world, if I can’t come through with it. I’ve done that before with Susan. I thought I was strong. I thought I could light up the world for her, but ultimately I failed.

“I don’t know,” I say. “It just kind of came out.”

These are not the words she wants to hear, but it’s the damn truth. I don’t want to promise her something I can’t fulfill. When I get caught up in the moment, I say things I feel. Sometimes, I go too far. “Okay,” she scoffs and grabs her clothes. She quickly puts on her shorts and walks away from the old rink.

I run after her and brush against her arm. She pulls it away. I feel my stomach sink. “Emily,” I mutter, but there’s nothing else to say, besides “I’m sorry,” the two words that never feel like they’re enough.

“Let’s just go, okay?” she says.

The light reflects onto her face. She’s beautiful, like a lost painting. Her eyes are glossy and soft. The blue is piercing, but addicting to look at. All I can feel, however, is the pain that I am causing her.

“Okay. We’ll go,” I whisper. I don’t even bother to grab my things. I simply walk out that door and open my car door for her.

She’s not a simple fuck. She’s so much more than that. But there’s something inside of me that won’t let me be that close to someone anymore. The problem is, I want to give in so bad. Her pussy is so sweet, her body so delicious, and the fact of the matter is I just love being around her.

In the car, however, it’s silent. There’s the sound of the wind against the car doors. There’s the light rolling of the tires, against some of the puddles. When we hit my gravel, she opens the door and nearly jumps out. “Wait,” I say. “Don’t leave.”

“I have to, Michael. I have to go home,” she says.

“Tonight was special to me,” I say.

She nods, but quickly turns her head away from me. “Don’t say that if you don’t mean it,” she says.

“But I do. I’ve never felt so alive with someone in my life,” I tell her. I groan and rub my palm across my face, in quiet desperation. I can’t figure out what the right move is here.

“Then what? What’s your problem? Why do you keep doing this?” she asks.

“Because my words have a way of fucking me over,” I admit.

“Well, maybe you should choose them more carefully,” she fires back.

“Yeah. I know. Look, you know about my past,” I say.

“You know about mine too,” she says. In the darkness of night, I can barely see her face, but I can see the moon reflect off her subtle tears. I’ve hurt her. I hurt everyone who comes near me. She wipes them away and continues. “You can’t keep using that as a scapegoat. I’ll respect your feelings, but please, learn to respect mine.”

She walks to her car. “Wait!” I yell.

She opens the door and shakes her head. “I’m not waiting. Not this time,” she whispers.

Just like that, her car disappears into the night. It happens so fast. First, she’s here, next there’s just a cloud of dust where she once stood. I nearly fall to the ground. Instead, I grasp against the hood of my car. The engine is hot and immediately burns my skin.

“Fuck!” I scream. I kick the front, denting it in.

I hold my palm and sigh, closing my eyes. This was the best night ever, until it turned into the worst night of my life. I know it’s my own damn fault. Everything I’ve failed at is. Next will be the business, no doubt. If we don’t get everything up to code, we’re fucked. But I can’t even think about that right now. All I can think about is her, Emily.

I have to take a stand.

I get back in my car and turn on the headlights. I turn the keys to the ignition and peel out of my driveway so fast that I nearly spin out. I pull out my phone and scroll to her address. There’s no use in wasting any time. “What do you want?” I ask myself. I want her, of course.

Am I ready? That’s always been the fear. It’s easy to believe in something, yet stand away from it, eyeing from a distance. What’s hard is jumping off that high cliff. It takes bravery and courage to do it. It takes a leap of faith.

Jesus, it was scary with Lisa. We had her, my daughter, and I thought I’d never make it. I was sure I wouldn’t be able to be a father to that child. And then it happened. I was fine. Everything pieced together to make it work.

I turn the corner. My heart’s beating a million beats per second. I can’t stop. Not now. I turn another corner and I see her place. I park off to the side. I walk up to the door and see her in front of it, sitting in a chair and looking at the ground. She jumps when she sees me. “What the fuck, Michael!” she yells.

“I couldn’t let you go,” I say. I’m out of breath and feeling fucking insane, but that’s not stopping me.

“Well, maybe you should. I don’t think I’m coming into work tomorrow,” she says. “Or the next day either. I’m pretty much fucking done.”

“You’re mine,” I say.

“Excuse me?”

“You’ve been mine since the day we laid eyes on each other. Don’t stay here tonight. Or better yet, let me stay here with you. I want you, Emily. Be my girlfriend, dammit,” I say.

Her eyes roll off to the side. She laughs, biting her lip. “You do realize that’s the cheesiest thing anyone’s ever said to me before, right?”

I nod. “Yeah, I didn’t really work it out too well before I came after you.” I smile.

“You’re a real bastard, Michael Vanderbilt,” she says.

But I know that with Emily, a statement like that doesn’t necessarily mean I’m doing all that bad. I’m falling into the clear. Even though this is murky territory and a lot is at stake, sometimes you just have to fall into the water and see what happens. If this all blows up in our faces, at least we fucking tried. At least we stood for something.

“So, what the hell are we doing?” She finally stands up and leans against the door. “Because I can’t keep feeling like this.”

“Feeling like you are second best?” I ask her. My eyes fall to the floor. “Yeah, I know.” Sometimes, intent isn’t everything. I thought that by distancing myself from potentially getting hurt, I could remain strong and safe. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. Someone always gets hurt when you’re not being honest.

“Yeah, I just want to know what I am to you. Am I really your girlfriend? I mean, do we even want that?” she asks. She pushes her hair behind her ears. The moonlight reflects against her smooth skin. She’s a splendor to behold. She’s fucking gorgeous, no matter the situation. I need her. I know I do. I’d be a fucking idiot to ever let something so beautiful go.

So I take a stand. I nod and grab her hands. Our fingers curl within the bumps of our knuckles. I love how she feels, how she smells, and how she looks at me right before I can say something right for once. She’s a hopeful soul. There aren’t too many like that anymore.

“I want it. I want you. I want to be yours, your man,” I say.

“I want to be your woman,” she whispers. She’s looking at my chest, but after some silence, she slowly tilts her head up. Her eyes are glistening and waiting for a sign, anything to reassure her.

I kiss her. I kiss her long and hard. Electricity rushes through my body. I can’t pull away. I need it like water in my body, like air in my goddamn lungs. “Emily,” I groan.

“Michael,” she says. This kind of passion is enough to make a person go crazy.

She turns around, but I hold onto her tightly. I grab her ass and hold it against me. She fumbles with her keys and finally gets it into the lock. The door falls open and we stumble into the living room. This is the first time I’ve ever been inside her place, but I’m strangely excited, as if it was a national landmark of some sort.

She takes my hand in hers and turns, leading me toward her bedroom. She walks backwards, keeping her eyes on me every second. I’m powerless when I see her, yet I gain all the strength in the world when I think about her in my arms.

We fall into bed and I take her one more time. I suck on her lips and eat her for hours. I make her squirm. With her legs around my neck, I make sure she begs for more. She screams, “Michael,” over and over again because she knows who’s the boss. She understands that I’m the man who’s willing to give her the source of pleasure, just as long as she’s a good girl and does what she’s told.

And when she’s done, I pull out my cock and watch her. I stroke slowly, while she gives me a little show. She lies on the bed, curling her body against her satin sheets. Her limbs extend and her soft stomach and curves blend in to the feminine structure of the frame. As she pushes her body onto her knees, she waits with anticipation, eyes gleaming and curious.

“I bet you want to cum so fucking bad,” she whispers, blowing air onto my balls. She extends her tongue, but only gets close enough to pull away.

“Yes, baby,” I whisper. If she keeps teasing me like this, I’m going to blow within seconds.

“How bad?” she asks me.

I grab her hair and pull her closer. “Suck my cock,” I command.

She pulls away, but I’m still holding on. “Make me,” she says, with fire in her eyes.

I pull even harder and her jaw drops. Her tongue hangs in front of my thick cock. One touch against her warm, soft tongue and lips, and I’m done for. She looks at me the whole fucking time. Her lips curl around my shaft. She slowly moves her head forward. I watch as my cock disappears inside her mouth. She holds her head, enclosing me deep, and keeps her eyes steady.

She pulls back, but only slightly. Then, she moves forward once more. “Baby, I’m going to cum,” I whisper. I feel the edging relief coming my way. It’s like the sun in the horizon, or running to the tree to open Christmas presents, or going to fucking Disneyland. No, it’s so much better than that. It’s a damn spiritual experience with this woman, and she knows exactly what she’s doing to me.

Of course I can’t be without her. Of course I need her. She’s got everything a man would go to war for. I get one last look at her and I feel myself slip. My legs tense up and give out. I nearly fall back, but I catch myself by holding onto the thick of her ass. I let out a deep growl and close my eyes. I’m lost, lost within her abilities.

The feeling of infatuation is something that’s new to me, but when I fall into her bed with her, I can’t help but love the feeling. “I’m going to tell Susan,” I blurt out.

Her eyes widen. “Don’t lie,” she says.

“I’m not lying. I’m done being beholden to her and the divorce court lawyers,” I say.

“Lisa. We’ve talked about this, remember? You can’t,” she says.

“She’s not taking away my baby,” tell her.

“She could,” she says. There’s a hesitance between both of us and I’m not sure how to approach it, but I’m still here, still in her bed, and I’m not leaving.

“Yeah,” I sigh. “Sure. But I can’t just walk away from this.”

She moves away from me, but keeps her hands on mine. She turns serious and makes sure I know that she’s feeling this way. “I’m not saying you should walk away. I’m saying that you should be careful. I don’t know Susan, but the only time I met her, she reacted like a total cu—”

“Yeah, I know,” I cut her off before she can get to the punch line. We don’t need to go that far, but she’s damn right. Susan can get pretty fucking insane when she wants to. “I’m just not sure she’d actually go to those lengths. I was with her for a long time, Emily. She’s spiteful, don’t get me wrong. But I don’t know… sometimes, I get the idea that she wants me to move on.”

“What do you mean?” She eyes me very carefully.

“I don’t know. Sometimes, with Susan, it’s all a big act. She treats this world like a stage. When she gets real mad, I’m not sure if she fully believes the emotions she lets out,” I say. I exhale and shake my head. “I know. It sounds insane.”

“Yeah, you’re just proving my point further, Michael,” she says. “Be. Careful.”

“Fine,” I sigh and place my head against the pillow. She falls onto my chest and kisses my right rib.

“It’s going to be fine,” she says. “We’ll take this slow.”

Slow. More like a head-on collision, while driving a hundred on the freeway. So, now the tables switch. Right when I’m ready to jump head first into this thing and scream it to the entire world, she backs away and tells me to take it slow. Of course, she’s right. I have a daughter. I have too much at stake here.

“Okay. Slow is good,” I say.

Hell, I can’t complain. This dad has the hottest woman on the planet. No fucking complaints. Just smooth sailing.