Twenty-two
Natasha
I ran into the arms of my best friend and we jumped around in a circle. I hadn’t talked with her since before I had left for Africa. I had been able to shoot her a quick email telling her I had arrived safely, and that was the last time we had any sort of contact. I embraced Emma tightly, picking her off the ground as she laughed heartily in my ear.
“This won’t be so bad if you’re back every couple of months,” Emma said.
“Oh, we have so much to talk about,” I said.
I ushered Emma into our favorite sandwich shop and we stood in line. The place was loud and it wasn’t the time to have the conversation with her I wanted, so I let her talk my ear off. She was filling me in on the past couple of months and how things were going with her at work. She kept talking about office gossip and all the things that had happened around town.
But I was anxious to sit down and talk with her.
We carried our trays to a booth and sat down. I got up to get us some napkins while Emma got our drinks. My hands were shaking with nervousness. I had no idea how she was going to take the news that I was pregnant or the decision I had made in light of that development.
I could only hope she supported me instead of chastising me for it.
“So, how’s Africa?” Emma asked.
“It’s good,” I said. “The area’s really cleaned itself up. A lot of the rebel forces were pushed out of the area, and you can see the relief on everyone’s faces. Mothers aren’t rushing their children inside before the sun goes down and they feel freer to do things the way they want to. Like cook outside and hold celebratory fires and dance and play until the sun sets.”
“That’s really awesome. When do you go back?” she asked.
“I don’t.”
Her gaze fixed with mine and she eyed me curiously. Her brow furrowed in confusion as I took a bite of my sandwich. She set her drink down and relaxed back into her seat, her eyes studying me in a way I’d never seen before.
“This was your dream job,” Emma said.
“It was, yes.”
“And you’re not going back.”
“I’m not,” I said.
“Does this have something to do with Carter?” she asked.
“It does.”
“Natasha, you can’t throw this opportunity away on some guy. I’d never seen you happier than when you told me they had contacted you for that position.”
“I know,” I said. “And I’m going to miss them. But some things are more important.”
“Like what?” she asked.
“Like family.”
A grin spread across my cheeks as Emma’s face dropped. I watched her jaw drop as a big grin spread across my face. She leaned over, her eyes dropping to my stomach as I placed my hand over my belly button.
Then, she began to squeal.
“Oh my gosh!”
“I know, right?”
“You’re pregnant!”
“I am,” I said with a smile.
“With Carter’s child?” she asked.
“About two and a half months or so along,” I said.
“Stand up.”
“What?”
“Stand up. Right now,” she said.
I stood from the booth and Emma wrapped her arms tightly around me. She picked me up off my feet this time and twirled me around. People were staring and it looked like a manager was about to come over and tell us to shut up. But I didn’t care. I was pregnant with the child of a man I’d come to care for deeply and my best friend was as happy as she could be for me.
She set me down on my feet before the two of us took our seats again.
“Holy hell, Natasha. You’re going to be a mom.”
“I am,” I said.
“How do you feel about that?”
“It’s not the plan I had for myself, but it’s still a good one.”
“Have you told Carter about it yet?”
“That was the first place I went after I got back into town yesterday. I went and sat on his porch until he and the kids got home.”
“Holy shit. The kids. Do they know?”
“Not yet. We’re waiting until I move in to tell them,” I said.
“Wait, you’re moving in?”
“It was his idea,” I said.
“You’re not going to be watching those kids full-time, are you?” she asked.
“We haven’t gotten that far honestly. I haven’t been feeling very well since I got back. Carter tells me what I’m feeling is normal. You know, since he’s done this three times already. But it seems a little extreme.”
“What do you mean? What’s going on? Do you have a doctor’s appointment anytime soon?” she asked.
“I do. We have an appointment this afternoon with a top tier OB-GYN.”
“Wouldn’t expect anything less from the rich guy. That where you’re headed after lunch?”
“It is. I just feel like my exhaustion is extreme. I mean, I get being tired, but I’m sleeping ten or twelve hours a night and still dragging ass during the day.”
“Yeah, that’s a bit much,” she said.
“And the headaches. I can’t get them to go away. I can only take so much of any sort of over-the-counter pain medication before it starts to threaten the safety of the babye. But sometimes they hurt so badly my vision throbs.”
“So no to watching the kids.”
“For now, no. I’m not really capable of it.”
“Then it’s a good thing you’re moving in with him. Someone will be there to take care of you during all of this. It sounds like a lot.”
“Not just moving in. He wants to help me raise the baby. You know, like a family,” I said.
“When you told me he was moving you in, I didn’t expect anything less.”
“I’m not expecting anything of him, honestly,” I said.
“But at this point, you should. You need to. It takes two to get into this type of situation, so you need to make sure you hold him to that commitment.”
“He wants to pay for things, Emma.”
“Oh, I know you. You’ll fight him every step of the way on that. What, he doesn’t want you to get a job or something? You shouldn't. Technically, it sounds like you can’t.”
“I don’t want to be taken care of. I want to be seen as an equal,” I said.
“And I’m pretty sure growing a human makes you his equal. In fact, I’d wager to say it makes you better than him. Can Carter’s body grow a human and still function?”
“I don’t feel like I’m functioning very well.”
“Like you said, take it one step at a time. If you can’t get a job because of how this pregnancy is affecting you, then let him take care of some things. What, you’ve got your student loan payments and the car insurance?”
“And food. And gas. And lodging. And medical expenses.”
“Stop, Natasha. You’re driving yourself in circles. Take a deep breath. Close your eyes. Come on. Do it with me.”
I closed my eyes and drew in a deep breath, allowing my body to settle down. It was all a bit much at a very fast rate. Carter was having my things transferred from my storage unit to the house while we were at the appointment that afternoon. The scant furniture I did have was going to be donated to people in the neighborhoods surrounding us that could use it. By the time night fell tonight, I would be moved into Carter’s home and living full-time with the kids.
It was overwhelming, how much had changed so quickly.
“Feeling better?” Emma asked.
“Yes, actually. Thanks.”
“Okay, I’m going to throw this at you slowly.”
“Uh oh.”
“If you want to still feel connected to a non-profit, then I can get you a job somewhere. I can help you find something,” she said.
“That’s very kind of you, but the board overseeing the projects in Africa actually offered me a job if I wanted to take it.”
“Oh, then that’s awesome!”
“It is, but I’m not sure if I’ll be able to take it. It requires me in the office three times a week as well as my presence at fundraisers that are thrown. And with this pregnancy already beating me down, I’m not sure I’ll be able to handle it. I don’t want to say ‘yes’ and then have things get worse.”
“Then hold off for a few days to make the decision. You didn’t tell them you’d have an answer for them immediately, did you?”
“No. I told them it would take me a few days to get settled before I had an answer.”
“Then hold fast to what you told them,” she said. “Take the few days. Get through this doctor’s appointment. Talk to Carter about it and see what he thinks. Then, make a decision and let them know.”
“Okay. I can do that,” I said.
“Natasha?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m really excited for you,” she said with a smile.
“When I stop thinking about all of the other moving pieces, I’m actually really excited too,” I said.
I finished up my lunch with Emma before I felt a hand fall onto my shoulder. I looked up and saw Carter smiling down at me and I jumped up to hug him. He held me close and chuckled into my ear before he reached his hand out to Emma. I introduced the two formally and let them talk for a little bit, then it was time to go to the appointment.
I hugged Emma one last time before Carter escorted me out the door. He helped me into my side of the car, then the two of us zoomed off to the appointment. I reached over and took his hand, my body shaking with nervousness. I wasn’t sure what to expect at this appointment, but I knew something wasn’t quite right.
“It’s going to be okay,” Carter said. “I know you’re nervous.”
“I just don’t feel right,” I said.
“Then we won’t leave the office until we figure out why,” he said.
He held my hand tightly as we walked into the doctor’s office. Instead of sitting in the waiting room, we went straight back. There was a private room off in the corner where the doctor was already waiting for us, and Carter shut the door as I stood in the middle of the room.
“Carter, nice to see you again. Congratulations,” the doctor said.
“Thanks. And thank you for meeting us on such short notice,” Carter said.
“Hi,” I said.
“You must be Miss Lewis,” the doctor said. “I’m Doctor Grayson Bernhardt.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Dr. Bernhardt. Do you, uh… know Carter personally?”
“I personally delivered Carter’s other children,” he said.
“Oh, so then you know one another very well,” I said.
“And I trust him with any circumstance,” Carter said.
“I hear you’ve been in Africa for the past two months,” the doctor said.
“I have, yes.”
“Okay. I’m going to treat this like a physical as well as your first OB-GYN appointment. I’m going to take a urine sample, I’m going to listen to your heart and your lungs, I’m going to check certain parts of your body for any mysterious lumps or polyps, then we’re going to draw some blood.”
“I did have regular check ups in Africa. Do you want me to see if I can get those medical records?” I asked.
“With all due respect, I’d like to run these tests first without any sort of pretense. Then, we’ll start talking specific prenatals and get you an ultrasound to see what’s going on inside.”
“Okay,” I said. “Sounds good.”
Carter and the doctor stepped out so I could undress, but my mind was spinning. What if I had contracted something in Africa? What if whatever was going on with me was my own doing? What if I had unknowingly placed our unborn child in danger?
I felt myself getting sick and I rushed for the trashcan.
I pulled the gown closed in front as I heaved into the bin. The door flew open and Carter was at my side, holding my hair back and rubbing his hand along my arms. I was shaking with fear. My exhaustion was beginning to take over. Vomit was dripping from my mouth as my eyes fluttered closed.
“Let’s get her on the table if we can,” the doctor said.
I felt myself being lifted into the air as I spit one last time into the trash can. The light in the room turned off and that mitigated the headache that was coming on. I could see a bright light flashing in my eyes as Carter’s hands massaged my feet. Trying to keep me as calm as I could be while the doctor checked me out.
Blood was taken and saliva tests were administered. I had a nurse help me keep upright so I could pee in the cup without making a mess. How had things gone so wrong so quickly? It felt like things were finally falling into place. Tears dripped down my cheek as I laid back down on the bed, feeling the doctor’s hands slowly creeping up my legs.
My stomach.
My sides.
My breasts.
I must’ve nodded off, because Carter was shaking my arm before something cold fell to my stomach. I jumped and looked down, my eyes ripping open to take in what was happening. I saw the ultrasound wand rubbing some gooey gel along my stomach as a pulsing sound roared to life.
“You hear that?” the doctor asked. “That’s your child’s heartbeat.”
I looked over at the screen as Carter squeezed my hand. Tears of happiness dripped down my cheek as I looked at the little bouncing bean. All of that movement and yet, I couldn't feel a thing.
But then, another sound was heard.
A second thumping that pierced through the first strong rhythm.
“What’s that?” Carter asked.
I watched the doctor furrow his brow as he pressed deeper into my stomach.
“That kinda hurts,” I said.
“I’m sorry. Just… give me a few seconds.”
“Doctor, what’s going on?” Carter asked.
“Is everything okay?” I asked.
The first thumping sound faded into a second, slower one. My eyes darted over to the screen as Carter gripped my hand so tightly I thought it was going to break. I gritted my teeth and looked through my tears as another bouncing bean appeared on the screen.
It wasn’t moving as much as the first one, but it was there.
“Well,” the doctor said. “That explains a lot.”
“What does?” I asked.
“Is that what I think it is?” Carter asked.
“I guess every pregnancy really is different,” the doctor said with a smile. “Congratulations, you two. You're having twins.”