THE PARTY IS in full swing. I should be having a good time because I'm the one who set this up for my workers and everyone else involved in this project. They are all enjoying themselves, but I'm just not feeling it.
What I am feeling is exhausted. Two weeks of not sleeping does that to a man. Two weeks of calling and messages, but not getting any answers because you find out they were not in town. Then two weeks of waiting for Jade to come back home from her little work trip so I could finally fix my mistakes. It was two fucking weeks of torture.
“Stop staring at the door. She'll be here,” Kat tells me.
“Who?”
“Don't play dumb. We know,” she tells me.
When I finally look, three sets of eyes are on me. “I suppose I'm the bad guy in this?”
“Did we say that?”
I take a sip of my now warm beer and put it on the bar. It's been sitting in my hand for thirty minutes while I wait. Wait to see if she will really show up like they claim she will.
Aly's hand touches my arm. “She's on her way.”
I nod my head, not knowing how to take all this. Jade's friends obviously know what's been going on, and I feel like I owe them an explanation. “She wasn't just a game to me.”
Aly talks for the girls. “We know that. And you don't need to say anything else. We had a long talk with her after the grand opening today. Jade's confused. Then she saw Deanna there—”
I interrupt. “What do you mean she saw Deanna? She wasn't there.”
“Yes, she was. You didn’t see her walk right by you? With that guy,” Lexi says and points at the guy I saw Jade hugging.
My focus was on one woman. It all clicks into place who he is, and why Deanna might have been there. The hotel she works for is the one that donated a bunch of shit to us. I didn't put two and two together as to the why until now.
“No. That must be Deanna's boss. They furnished some of the rec room. However, I saw him and Jade looking cozy.” Then I remember. Her first date with Mr. Head Shot. I knew I recognized him, but I couldn't put it together. It was from his picture on the dating site. Motherfucker.
“That’s Lincoln. He's really nice. Cute too,” Lexi says. I'm not sure if she's saying it to be truthful or to get a rise out of me.
“Yeah, we talked to him for a while when he ate lunch by us. He mentioned bringing his new girlfriend to Butter My Bread sometime and that he would become a regular there now,” Aly says.
“Funny how small the world is. Guess who he just started dating?”
I don't know if I want to hear the answer to that. If I hear her name, I'm afraid I'll dismember the poor fuck.
“Deanna,” Kat says.
I let out a long breath of relief.
“Don't worry; she's not here,” Lexi says.
“You three got all that from that guy with just a little conversation?”
“If you are done with your little powwow, it's almost time to get on the stage,” Josh states.
“It will all work out. Go have fun up there,” Aly says.
The four of us—Caleb, Bentley, Hunter, and me—walk up on the stage.
“You want to clue us in on what you and the women were chatting about?” Bentley asks.
“No,” I say flatly.
“Does it have to do with whatever is going on with you and Jade?” Hunter asks.
“Let me guess, Lexi told you too?”
“No, I overheard Jade on the phone with her when it all started. I wanted to bust your balls, but Lexi threatened mine if I did. And, dude, it was obvious something was going on when we evacuated.”
“You weren’t very subtle,” Caleb says.
“Fuck. You guys are turning into your women with all the chitchat. Let’s just play,” I tell them. Now is not the time for this conversation because I’m sure it will end with one of them kicking my ass for even considering that kind of relationship with Jade. She’s like a kid sister to them.
“I feel old up here,” Caleb says as he straps his bass around his neck.
“Too old to be up here anymore, but I'll never stop playing,” Bentley adds.
“Fuck no,” Hunter yells.
“It's time to let some new blood in,” Caleb states.
We never talked about when we'd give it up. It's not like we won't ever play again. I'm sure there will be plenty of sessions at house parties we have or whenever we feel the urge to play, but the days of Slither on stage seem to be coming to a close.
“Let's do this,” I tell them.
Tonight, we decided to do something different. We decided to make this a montage of our history together. From the first song we jammed out in my parents’ garage to the one we played the first time we were on stage together and the songs that mean a lot to my boys and their women.
I get in the zone. Playing guitar has always been cleansing for me, and everything else fades away when I play. It’s the one time my brain shuts down, and I don’t have to think. My fingers move over the guitar strings and I didn’t realize how much I would miss this. We all feel it too. I can see it in Bentley’s face when he sings, when Caleb gets in his normal stance to play bass and sing, and even the way Hunter’s entire body moves every time he strikes the drums.
Even if we never step of the stage again, I have no doubt in my mind that we will still get together for old time’s sake. It’s what has bonded us all these years—brothers by music.
Kat comes on stage to sing her song to Caleb. When she finished, he announced, “My beautiful wife, Kat. Thank you for picking me, baby.”
“You can’t do stuff like that to a pregnant woman,” she says through the microphone in true Kat form before giving him a kiss that makes the crowd go nuts in applause.
I want that. Moments like that with someone who completes me, and if I’m lucky enough to get Jade back, I’ll thank God every fucking day for bringing her to me.
Three-quarters into our set, Jade walks in. My body knows it the minute she steps through the door looking more beautiful than ever. Her long black hair is down, making me long to touch it. Dressed in jeans and a loose t-shirt, she stands out in the crowd. For a split second, she looks at me, but then all too fast, she turns the other way.
After two more songs, Bentley looks at me, and I let him know we’ll be playing my choice next. I point at the mic, letting him know I’ve got something to say first.
“First, I want to thank everyone for coming out tonight. For months, we’ve put everything we have into this project, and it was one of the best experiences of my life. I’ve met some amazing and generous people, and I hope we get to do more projects like this again. There is one person I want to thank for getting me through this whole project. She brought laughter to what would have been be an otherwise boring day. In a short amount of time, she became more important than she knows, and I think I may have fucked … I mean, messed it up. I just want to say I’m sorry I wasn’t man enough to tell you everything from the beginning.”
Hunter starts drumming, and I follow by strumming the first notes of “The Reason.” Unlike my boys, I don’t sing, but it doesn’t mean I feel the song less than they do. I may not be able to say the words to her, but I mean every word of it.
Then she’s gone.