“IS THERE ANYTHING better than a beach therapy day?” Jade asks me as she lays her blanket on the sand.
“Good choice.” I'm not usually the type to sit around and do nothing for an entire day, but when she asked me last night, or maybe it was this morning, if I wanted to spend the day at the beach, all I kept thinking was Jade, half naked, on the beach. Plus, I could use some relaxation after a week from hell with getting every job back on track since the storm. A lazy Sunday sounded pretty fucking good to me.
“I love it here. If I could, I would spend every waking hour on the beach,” she says as she takes off the loose shirt she wore to walk here in. “What about you?” she asks.
“Only if everyone looked like you. Damn, Foxy.” I've been to beach parties before with Jade, but I never noticed what type of bathing suit she wore. I'm positive it was nothing like the little black and pink number she has on now.
“You like it? I just bought it.”
The triangle material on top shows off her round breasts, and I wonder if I skimmed the material with my thumb, would her nipples harden from my touch? My thoughts take a new direction when I start thinking about licking the space between them because her cleavage is front and center. That is, until I look down, past her flat stomach and grabbable hips. Motherfucking hell. The bottom is cut so damn low that it's not hiding much. All I have to do is tug on those strings holding it up, and I could feast there for hours. “It's all right.”
“There you go with that word again. What's wrong with it?” She spins around, giving me a whole different view. The apple of her ass.
Casually, as I lie down on the blanket, I lower my glasses to give her another once-over then flip on my stomach. I have a feeling I'll be in this position more often than not today to cover how much I like it. “The fact that it’s still on you.”
She throws her shirt at me. “You pervert.”
“I can't help it. You asked. And why do you keep asking me about your outfits? Don't you girls shop in packs or something like that? I remember hearing the guys discuss it.”
“Everyone has been busy lately. Off doing their own thing and starting their new lives together. You know?”
“Yeah, I do. Times are changing, Foxy. The band doesn't play much anymore. The guys spend more weekends at home than out. But you know what? I'm okay with that. We're growing up.”
She finally takes her spot next to me on the blanket, puts her sunglasses on, and sighs. “Growing up sucks. Can't we stay like this forever?”
“I’m down with that. You don't want to grow up? Is that why you don't want to be in a serious relationship?” We've never talked about what happened in our pasts. All she knows is that Deanna and I split up. I've always felt that my private life should be just that, but for the first time, I'd like to know if maybe I'm not the only one who's shit at picking the wrong person.
“I'm in that awkward finding myself stage of life. It should have happened years ago, but I’ve always been a late bloomer. That and I can't do complicated emotional mess right now.”
“Why do you say that? Was your last relationship that ... messy?”
“We weren't on the same page, and now I need to know where my life is headed before I give myself to someone.”
“Well, what if that someone sitting close by is that someone?” She actually looks to see who is around us. The beach is quiet, though. When she sees me looking right at her, she smiles.
“Good one. I know what we are doing is casual, but we see each other a lot, hang out more each week, and you've become more than just an occasional friend, so do you really want to hear about my tainted past? I'm asking for your sake, not mine, because this could change things. Invite you into the whole opening up to me thing too.”
“I think I can handle it, Foxy.”
“Okay, so when I fall, I fall too fast. I tend to lose myself and who I really am. That's what happened with my ex. I spent way too many nights picturing a ring, a wedding, and kids and putting so much focus on us that I put my dreams on hold. Then I found out he wanted none of it. I lost the man I thought I wanted, and he took a lot of my spirit with him.”
“That bad, huh?”
“Not bad, just wrong. I want to make sure I'm happy where I am in my life before I give heart away.”
Right then, I know I don't have her yet. I have her body, but the rest will catch up. I'm a patient man.
“It was the opposite for me,” I tell her, and since this conversation is an erection killer, I roll to my back.
“How so? Never mind. You don't have to tell me.”
“I wouldn't have started the conversation if I didn't want to tell you.”
“Deanna?” she asks.
I nod my head once. “Condensed story. I had the house, the job, and I wanted the wife and family. She was the one; at least, at the time I thought that. But I wasn't what she wanted. She wasn't ready to settle. While she was away, she met someone. It gutted me.”
“I'm so sorry.”
“It took a while for me to stop being angry. I still am when I think about it.”
“Did you ever talk to her about it?” she asks.
“No.”
“Maybe it would help.”
“Don't feel much like reliving it again. It's done.”
“Maybe not. Do you still want that?” I'm not sure if she's asking about Deanna or the wife part.
“Want what?”
“The whole marriage and family thing.”
“Someday. It's not my time yet.”
“I like that.”
“What?”
“I don't think it's my time either. But I do think it is time to get some sun therapy and change the subject. This just got too emotional. And remember, I said I can't handle that yet.”
“I remember.”
After last night, I guess both of us were more than exhausted. I woke up with Jade curled up against me. The sun had shifted beyond the umbrella she brought and was beating down on both of us. I didn't want to wake her because she felt good lying against me, but if I didn't, we both risked a sunburn.
Gently, I rubbed my hand up and down her back until her eyes opened. She looked confused as to where she was for a second then she slowly sat up.
“Sorry about that,” she said as she stretched.
“No worries.”
“How long was I out?”
I took out my phone to see the time. “Close to three hours. Any longer and we might have fried.”
“I could have slept all day.”
“Do you want to pack up and finish your nap inside?”
“That sounds good. Plus, I'm suddenly starving.”
After we had packed up, we headed back to the house, which was only a few hundred feet away. While I put everything in the garage, Jade continued upstairs. By the time I started to walk past her door, I had figured she was cozy in her bed, but she opened the door. “Aren't you coming in?”
She changed out of her bathing suit and was dressed in the J&H t-shirt again. She’s been wearing it more and more to sleep in, or so she tells me. On the outside, I was smiling. Inwardly, I was growling ... mine.
“Let me go change first. Do you want to order pizza or go out?”
“Already ordered. And I figured we could rent a movie if you want.” The Jade I remember made an appearance because she looked shy as she asked me.
I placed my hand behind her neck. “I'll be down in a few minutes.”
That night, we rented more than one movie, finished a pizza between the two of us, and she fell asleep against me on the couch. As much as I didn't want to, I picked her up and carried her to bed. I gave her a kiss on her forehead then left.
For a long time, I lay awake in bed thinking. Thinking about the past few years. I remember the first time I met Jade at Aly's birthday party, but it's a blur. We hung out enough times that I knew her, but then Deanna came into the picture.
I started thinking about my time with Deanna; how our relationship was simple. She was fun, but if I think hard, it was safe. We were comfortable with one another. Sex was just that, comfortable. With Jade, there is crazy chemistry.
When the thought reenters my head that we need to end this whole agreement and move forward, I stop the thoughts because she already said she’s not ready yet. She's mine until I move back home and that gives me time to come up with a plan. One that keeps her in my arms like she was today and in my bed at night. The only problem, my house will be finished in two weeks, and I wonder if that's long enough for Jade and me to get on the same page.