Virgin. The word echoed through my head. I stared into the face of my beautiful friend, astonished by what she had just disclosed to me.

“What did you just say?” I asked, knowing full well I had heard her correctly. Her reaction to her own admission left no room for confusion.

She glanced down at the table and shook her head, “That’s what I wanted your opinion on, sort of.”

“You wanted my opinion on you being a virgin?” I whispered it loudly as I leaned forward.

I could tell the alcohol had more than loosened her tongue. This was one conversation I could have never predicted us having. I would have never, in a million years, have guessed she was still a virgin. For as close as we were, this had never come up before. I knew she always blushed whenever sex was discussed, but I just thought it had more to do with her being extremely private about sex rather than being uncomfortable.

“Yes. I mean, no. I wanted your opinion, well not your opinion exactly…” she drew in a long breath. “But ok, so, if I don’t feel a spark, then whoever I’m dating probably doesn’t feel a spark either, right?”

“I don’t know. I think one person can be more attracted to another in a relationship. That’s why sometimes you see people get asked out by someone they aren’t even remotely interested in.” I saw understanding dawn on her face.

“That actually makes a lot of sense. So, like in this case, Geoff probably has no idea that I don’t feel about him the way Harper thinks he feels about me.” She gently shook her head. “The thing is, uh, I want to feel something with him. He’s perfect on paper. That’s why I think maybe there’s something wrong with me, like something is broken inside of me. Or I just keep choosing the wrong men. But I’ve dated so many. I should’ve felt something for at least one of them, right? What should I do? Why have I never experienced the stuff of romance novels? Where’s my spark?”

It was like a slap to my ego to hear she’d never felt a spark. Granted we’d never dated, but I felt a damn spark every time I was in the same room with her. I knew we weren’t a good idea though. I chose my words carefully.

“I wish I had the answer for you. You need to decide for yourself what you think is the right thing to do.” I knew there had been something off with her and Geoff. I’m surprised to find out it wasn’t him though, it was her.

“What would you do? Like, if you were in Geoff’s shoes, what would you want the woman to do?” Her blue eyes were pleading with me to give her direction, so I decided to be brutally honest.

“Honestly? I’d want the woman to end it. I wouldn’t want to be with someone who didn’t really want to be with me. Who wants to feel like someone is settling for them?”

“You’re so right!” She exclaimed loudly and slapped her hand on the top of the table. “I don’t know why I didn’t see it that way before. I just kept telling myself that he really liked me and I should stick it out because I didn’t want to hurt him. But the truth is, by sticking it out I could hurt him worse, and he deserves better. He’ll find someone who will feel that spark towards him too, someone that will be able to give him everything I can’t.”

“I don’t think it’s that you can’t, per se. But if you don’t feel it, that’s something that usually can’t be faked for long. And why would you want to waste the energy trying to fake it?”

Some small part of me was glad to hear that she didn’t have those kinds of feelings for him. This new revelation about her being a virgin though, that made her even more off limits. If I wanted to protect her before, that was now magnified by a thousand.

“Thanks, Baz. I knew you’d have the answers for me. You really are the best. What would I do without you?” Her red lips parted as she smiled sweetly at me.

“Lucky for both of us, you’ll never have to find out. I’ll always be here for you.” Hence, the reason for the friend zone. Every time my mind wandered off in the direction of something more, it always came down to the fact that I had made her a promise years ago, and I intended to keep it.

“Now, I just have to find the right way to break the news to Geoff.” She sighed as she fidgeted with her drink some more. “It just sucks because I hate to hurt people. Ugh. Oh well, it is what it is, I guess. Enough about my depressing love life. Distract me, help me forget.” The plea that fell from her lips made all those elicit images I had banned come roaring back to my mind. “Let’s dance.”

“Sure.” The live band was covering some seriously good tunes tonight. I pushed back my chair and offered her my hand. Her small palm slid into mine and chills ran up my arm. I watched her closely, and saw her sharp intake of breath.

No spark, my ass. In that moment, I knew I wasn’t alone in feeling something more than friendship. She definitely felt it too. Which meant I hadn’t misread the situation earlier, and that she had been waiting for me to kiss her. It was a damn shame I couldn’t act on it.

I turned and led her to the dance floor. She wanted me to help her forget, so that’s what I was going to do. The songs all blended together as the night wore on. Our bodies swayed and ground against each other. Her ass fit perfectly against me and I took a small step back, placing a little distance between us as I again thought of my wet grandma and her wrinkly body for a distraction. We danced and drank both the night and our cares away.

By the time the night ended, she was stumbling in her stilettos and I was more than content to be the one she leaned on for support. As we left the bar, I realized neither of us was sober enough to drive. “Should I call us an Uber? Or are you ok to walk?” Luckily, Gemma only lived a few blocks away.

“I think I can walk,” she giggled.

With one hand around her waist for support we walked most of the way in silence. I tried to ignore how her body fit perfectly against my side.

“You really are the best, Baz. This night was just what the doctor ordered.” She looked up at me, pure gratitude shining out at me. As we rounded the corner to her house I noticed a car parked in her driveway.

“Are you expecting company?” I tipped my head in the direction I was looking. Her steps quickly faltered.

“Shit. That’s Geoff’s car.” And like that, the happiness that had been so evident on her face just seconds ago was replaced with dread. “What is he doing here? Damnit, I think he’s ruined my buzz. I intentionally avoided calling him back because I wanted to sort all of this out first.”

“Looks like your time is up.”

Geoff got out of his car as we approached. “What’s up, man?” I nodded to him. I wasn’t leaving until Gemma gave me the green light.

“Gemma, what’s going on here?” He had his hands on his hips, his lips drawn tightly together, anger radiating off him.

“Hi, Geoff. Baz and I were out for happy hour and we lost track of time I guess,” she shrugged still pressed against my side. “I think I had a little too much to drink. We decided to walk back, rather than drive.”

“I can see that, Gemma. I got your text. Is this why you didn’t call me back earlier?”

Possessive much? I thought to myself. Who did this guy think he was? He didn’t own her. She was a grown-ass woman who could do what she wanted, when she wanted.

“Um, I told you last night, I needed some time. I was taking that time.” She stood up straighter and squared off her shoulders as she looked him in the eye. I was proud of her for standing up for herself.

“Maybe you should go, Bastian. I’ve got her from here.” Geoff approached reaching out for her.

Gemma turned those big blue eyes on me, pleading with me to stay and help, before she looked back to him, completely ignoring his outstretched hand.

“No.” Gemma’s voice was gentle, but firm. “Bastian is in no condition to drive either. And I don’t need anyone to ‘get me’.” She dug her keys out of her purse and turned to me. “You can go inside. I’ll be in, in a few minutes.”

Geoff stared at me in disbelief, almost as if he were daring me to go in the house. He stepped forward to take the keys from her hand and that’s when I smelled the alcohol on his breath. “There’s no need for that, I can call him a cab,” he offered.

“If I need to, I can call for my own cab, Geoff.” I answered in response even though he was talking to Gemma.

If he thought for one second I was going to leave her alone to deal with this situation, he was clearly mistaken. I wasn’t going anywhere until she wanted me to. I stepped in between them, partially shielding her from his view. Her hand reached up and touched my shoulder.

“It’s ok, Baz. Go inside, I’ll be right behind you.” Her words were spoken softly, but with a finality that left no room for debate.

“I’ll be right inside if you need me.” I took the keys from her hand and turned towards the front door.