I’ve always had a thing for older women. Valerie’s only a few years older, but older just the same. She’s ridiculously sexy and confident in her body, in the way only a mature woman can be, but still a little shy too. As soon as I stole that kiss from her on the dance floor I knew that she’s the kind of woman who, when you find the right spot, is wild, demanding and sexy as hell in the sack. I haven’t been with a woman like her in way too long and just the taste I got before last night was as hot as it was enticing, but last night blew my mind.

When that young guy pulled her to the dance floor I almost lost it. Several men were watching her for the good part of an hour—me included—but he was the only one brave enough to approach. I decided to give it a minute before I interfered, but there was no way Wonder Boy was going to take her home, not if I had anything to say about it. I let them have their fun, but by the time I approached it was time for him to go.

I tried to tell myself that if one of the older guys, closer to her age, were to approach her I wouldn’t interfere, but I think my jealousy would’ve spiked no matter who had their hands on her. From the moment I saw the curve of her ass in that short dress at the benefit dinner, I knew I wanted her. Fucking her in the store room might have been an impulsive decision, but I don’t regret it. I usually don’t mix business and pleasure, and the only reason I caved last night when I brought her back to my place was because I knew my work for her was complete.

Halfway home I realized how intoxicated she was and it almost killed me. I was dying to feel her sweet pussy wrapped around more than just my fingers, but I didn’t want to fuck her unless she was in her right mind completely this time. There was no way I was going to pass up the opportunity to at least get one more taste of her, though.

Taking her home with me, I suspected she’d be a wild one, but I had no idea how wild until she tried to suffocate me with her thighs. Her reaction was amazing. I was painfully hard for hours after that, but there was no way I was pushing my luck. It took me forever to fall asleep and couldn’t have been out for very long when I felt her fingers on my bare back and ass. I knew at that point she’d slept long enough to be coherent though. Her movements weren’t fumbling or sloppy like they would’ve been if she were drunk still. She is a seriously sexy woman and I’ll never forget the sweet sound of her moans as she got closer to climax.

Instead of doing all the things I wanted to do with Valerie this morning after I woke up an hour ago with a raging hard on, I got out of bed to run and do my daily workout. I wanted her so badly. I knew that I couldn’t do it this time though because I didn’t want to fuck her. I wanted to make love to her in the day light. I wanted it to be slow, so I could taste every inch of her skin and watch her expressions as my mouth took her pussy. The desire to feel her nails score my back as she moaned my name was so strong. More than anything I wanted to make her come and be the reason she wore a sleepy satisfied smile this morning, but I couldn’t afford to do that.

If I did all the things I wanted to do to her this morning I wouldn’t be able to send her on her way. I’d probably fall all the way in love with her and I refuse to do that. I’d promised myself when I found out how likely it was that my cancer would come back that I’d never subject anyone to the pain of watching me die a slow horrible death. Now I feel even more strongly about it, knowing all the shit Val’s been through. She deserves so much better than that. She deserves a man who will be at her side, holding her and loving her, until her last breath. It’s pretty much guaranteed that won’t be me and I care enough to save her from that fate.

When I enter the kitchen, I’m surprised to find her sitting at the dining room table with a cup of coffee in her hand. Her sleepy eyes are focused on something outside the window and I’m not sure she’s seen me yet.

“Good morning, bella,” I say as I lean in and kiss her sleep rumpled hair. My gut aches a little, wishing I could do that every morning.

“Hi,” she says softly, without looking back at me.

I was afraid it would be awkward in the light of day or that I’d have to explain why I wasn’t pursuing her further, but she looks content and relaxed. “What’s got you so deep in thought?”

“Nothing really. It’s so peaceful here that it’s easy to relax and let your mind wander. I’ll be out of your hair shortly. I knew I needed coffee and directions before I tackled the drive home. I wasn’t sure the GPS would work out here.”

“Stay as long as you’d like. I have to relieve one of my guys on surveillance duty in an hour. I’ll write down directions for you. You okay this morning?”

“Yes, it’s been a while since I’ve tied one on like that so I’m not great, but I’m functional. Thanks for taking care of me last night. If I woke up next to the young guy this morning, I’d be in worse shape.” She blushes a little and turns her gaze back to the window.

“I didn’t think you were the cougar type, glad I could help,” I joke, hoping to keep the mood light so I don’t feel worse letting her go. She doesn’t respond to that remark, but I can see the lift in her cheek and know it’s from a smile.

When I come back ready for work she’s fully dressed and waiting with her keys that I left on the counter when the guys dropped off her car last night after she passed out. She takes the paper with the directions written on it from me and gives me a smile that never reaches her eyes. I kiss her cheek like always and walk her to the car. Without pausing she slides into the car and drives away with a small wave.

* * *

Two days later I enter a greasy spoon diner off the beaten path. I’ve been coming here for years and love the smell of fried food and apple pie that seems to seep out of the walls after all these years of carrying the same items on the menu. There are three waitresses I’d consider staples of the joint because they’ve been there as long as I can remember. I can’t figure out why none of them have retired yet, but am thankful they haven’t. They all know my order by now and put it in as soon as they see me. “Hey, sugar!” Zelda, the dyed blonde whom I’ve known the longest, calls out to me as I step inside.

“Hey, Ms. Z. How’re they hanging today?” Her rough strangled laughter, consistent with the number of cigarettes she smokes during her breaks, makes me cringe. “Since they’re fake they’re still sitting high.” She cackles. It’s the same routine with us every visit. I turn left to sit in my usual booth only to find it occupied by none other than Valerie Larinsky. Her honey-colored hair falls over her shoulders and hangs forward near her face as she leans over a book she’s reading that’s lying flat on the table. Her half-eaten plate of food sits off to her left, close enough for her to take the French fries off the side. Flipping the page one-handed, she doesn’t even lift her head as she continues reading.

Why is she sitting here alone? It makes no sense that a woman like her is sitting here solo. Not that she should have a man with her everywhere she goes, but at least a girlfriend or two. She’s pleasant and friendly, obviously intelligent, so it makes no sense to me. I should probably leave her alone, but I can’t stand that she’s sitting there by herself having dinner and reading.

“Bella, why are you eating alone?” I ask as I walk over and stand in front of her table. Her eyes widen as they meet mine and I can’t help but grin at her obvious shock at seeing me. A shy smile tips her lips and she closes her book. “Everyone I know is busy. Story of my life. I’ve gotten used to eating alone. No big deal.”

“How often do you eat alone?”

“Every night that Thea’s with Ron. I’m used to it now.” She shrugs and takes a drink of her water.

“That’s a tragedy. Can I join you?”

“Um…sure. I’m not the best company, but if you want to you can.”

“Don’t sell yourself short. If I remember correctly, you’re great company.” I wiggle my eyebrows at her, attempting to be playful, and am rewarded when she laughs out loud.

Zelda struts over and sets my Coke down in front of me as her eyes flick between the two of us. I’m sure she has a hundred questions since I’ve never been in here with a woman before. I’ve brought a couple of my male employees here when we were working a job, but never anyone else. Me sitting with someone is a new thing. Me sitting with Valerie is totally unprecedented.

We end up talking for the next hour about her time in the Navy and my time in the Marines and I’m surprised by how much she’s seen. I shouldn’t be, she was a combat surgeon, but if I walked past her on the street I’d never guess she was ever in the military.

When I realize how much time has passed I pay our bill, setting my tip under the salt shaker like I have every time for as long as I’ve been coming here.

“You didn’t need to pay for my dinner,” she says.

“I know, but I did anyway.” I don’t tell her this, but no woman that I’m eating with will pay for a meal, even if it wasn’t planned. It’s not the way I was raised. I’m not a macho idiot, I’m all for equality, but it doesn’t feel right to me even as friends.

“Thank you. I owe you.”

“You’re welcome,” I say, ignoring the last part of what she says, not willing to ruin a nice dinner with a fruitless argument. As I shove my wallet back in my pocket I notice that the little light I saw in her eyes while we were talking has dimmed and I have a feeling it’s because she’s about to be sitting here alone again, and I hate that for her. She’s cool and laid-back in the same way most of my friends are and I realize that she’s become my friend throughout everything, even if we’ve crossed the line for sex more than once, and friends always get the invite. Or so I tell myself. It’s a lot less complicated for me if I don’t admit that she makes me hope for so much more. I’ve realized when she’s around that I wish my health had a more positive outlook, one where I could justify the risk of loving someone and having them love me back.

“Listen, every Saturday my mamá and papá have the family and some friends over for dinner and music and sometimes games, why don’t you come? If my mamá knew there was someone having dinner alone on a Saturday while we were gathering, she’d lose her mind.”

“I can’t. That would be awkward. It’s your family and I just…can’t.”

“Do you have Thea?”

“No, she’s with her dad.”

“Then you’re coming. Meet me there about 5:30. If you don’t show up I’ll be forced to track you down and we both know I have the means to do so. Don’t bring anything except yourself and a smile. This is something we do every week and there’s always too much food left over as it is.”

She watches me for a second, obviously debating the sincerity of my what I just said to her. “What do I wear?”

“Whatever you want. It’s casual. When the weather is warmer we’re outside for most of it, but because it’s December we stay inside and dance in the garage.”

Valerie grabs her purse, her book and her keys, and stands as I do. “Okay, I guess it won’t hurt to come for a little while. It’s not like I have other plans.”

“I’ll text you the address.” I kiss her cheek and say goodbye. As she walks to her car I wonder what my family will think of her and quickly shake the thought away. Hopefully my mamá won’t read anything into this.

* * *

Saturday comes and I’m running late to get to my parents’ house. I text Valerie to let her know and she responds that she’s okay, not to worry about her. When I enter the kitchen my mamá is standing over the stove, her short round figure covered in a worn old apron one of us gave her years ago as a present. Her salt-and-pepper hair is pulled up in a bun and little fuzzy pieces stick out around her face, probably due to the steam from cooking. She smiles brightly at me and I smile back before I hug her. “Mamá, llegó mi amiga?” Mamá, did my friend arrive? She nods and smiles even brighter, pointing toward the living room. “Ella es con Ricardo.” She’s with Ricardo.

My spine stiffens a little at the mention of Ricardo. He’s the biggest womanizer in this family and the thought of him getting his claws into Valerie irritates me. I’m not sure why. She’s a grown woman and I’m not looking for anything long-term, especially with someone who needs as much stability as she does, but it still pisses me off.

I turn the corner and see Valerie with her back against the wall. Ricardo has one hand placed on the wall near her head and is leaning in a little closer than is polite, saying something to make her smile. A sliver of jealousy winds its way down around my waist and into my gut.

“Ricardo!” I snap, loud enough to grab everyone’s attention. Valerie jerks a little, surprised by my voice, but Ricardo doesn’t move. He simply turns his head slightly and looks at me out of the corner of his eye. The smirk he’s wearing tells me he knows why I called his name, but the fact that he didn’t move tells me he doesn’t care.

I continue moving through the room until I’m right up next to them. “Valerie.” I greet her a little sterner than I usually do and her confusion is immediately evident. I need to stop being a dick. Just because Ricardo’s known for the wine-dine-69 method doesn’t mean that Valerie would fall for his load of crap or that it’s my business. A couple of rounds of sex and one meal between her legs doesn’t entitle me to more with her.

“Hey, Javie,” Ricardo greets me with that damn smirk locked into place. I’d love to knock him out just to get rid of it.

“Think you could give the lady enough room to breathe something other than your generous coating of AXE body spray?”

“You only wish that’s what I’m wearing. I’ve gotten no complaints.” He winks at her this time and she smiles at him, completely oblivious. She must think this is friendly banter. Irritation burns my insides.

“Apártate.” Back off. I growl at him through clenched teeth.

Ever the peacemaker, my mother hurries into the room and steps between the three of us to tug on Valerie’s arm. “Come, you must try this. You’ve never had tamales like Rosa’s.” Mamá ushers her out of the room while Ricardo and I face off.

“Javie, you sent a beautiful woman in here unaccompanied, one who says she’s single, so you can’t get bent out of shape when I approach. If she’d have shown up on your arm, I’d have kept my distance. According to her you’re only friends. If that’s not the case, you need to set her straight or I’ll have her on more than my arm come Friday night.”

What an asshole. “I already told you to back off.”

“If you don’t do anything about it, I’ll ask her out. You can’t lay claim to a woman you don’t plan to date. Especially someone as beautiful and intelligent as she is. Figure it out.” With a light punch to the shoulder he strolls away, the warning ringing in my head. If he takes her out he’ll be buried balls deep by the end of the night. He’s that smooth. With anyone else it probably wouldn’t matter, but because I’ve already tasted her spectacular pussy I don’t want him anywhere near her. Damn it! Why did I invite her here?

I suck in a deep breath, let it out and turn toward the kitchen to find Mamá and Valerie.

When I enter, Tía Rosa is smiling as Valerie gushes over the tamales she’s shoving in her mouth at a pace that makes it clear she’s really enjoying them. “I love them, Ms. Rosa! They taste just like the ones at Hector’s Hacienda.”

“That’s my recipe.” Tía Rosa smiles proudly at her.

“They’re divine!”

I sit down next to her and wait for them to finish their conversation. When the ladies turn back to their kitchen tasks, Valerie looks at me and waits for me to say something. The morning after our encounter may not have been uncomfortable but the scene in the other room was. Squirming a little, I say, “I’m sorry about Ricardo. He can come on a little strong.”

“I was enjoying his company. He was fine.”

“You’re not about to be another one of his conquests.”

She tilts her head, eyes narrowing on me. “You’ve got a pretty low opinion of me if you think I’d be one of his conquests that quickly. I realize I earned part of that accusation, but you’ve taken a fine-toothed comb through my life with our business recently so you should know I haven’t earned a nasty reputation when it comes to men.” Her voice drops to a whisper when she finishes. “You’re my first and only indiscretion other than my almost ex-husband in 20 years.”

Valerie’s not lying, she’s as straitlaced as they come. I wouldn’t have been between her legs the other night if it weren’t for the amount of alcohol she consumed and the fact that she already knew me. I need to stop being a dick, but I feel so proprietary of her suddenly and can’t stand the thought of her with Ricardo.

“I’m sorry. I happen to know what kind of smooth operator Ricardo is. We grew up together and over the years I’ve seen more than my fair share of women fall victim to his charm.”

“He’s charming, that’s true.” A sweet smile spreads on her lips and my hands ball into fists under the table. I need to change the subject.

“Ready to fill your plate and make the ladies in my family happy?”

“I just ate three tamales.” Her horrified expression makes me laugh loudly. Something moves across her features that I can’t name right before a blush spreads up her neck to her cheeks.

“You have to fit more food in there or they’ll be offended,” I try to tell her with a straight face. They might understand since she’s not used to eating this way, but then again they might be offended. You never know how the ladies of my family are going to react, especially when it comes to food.

Her eyes bug out of her head and she groans. I can’t lower the grin that consumes my face. I should let her off the hook but I want to see how far she’ll go to make them happy.

“Come on, I’ll talk you through it. At least try a little bit of everything. That may soften the blow to their egos.” I stand and extend my hand to her and she takes it.

When we return to the table with our plates full, she whispers, “Your mom doesn’t take no for an answer, does she?”

“Nope,” I reply and dig into the plate of amazing food. After eating here every week I need an extra couple of hours at the gym.

Valerie eats about half of her food before she holds her hands up and says, “I can’t eat any more. Your mom’s going to hate me.”

“Nah, but when she sends you home with a plate full of food for later, accept it. That will make her feel better. Now let me take your plate to the kitchen and then I’ll introduce you to everyone you haven’t met yet. You need to watch out for Tío Juan, he’s old but he may try to kiss you or cop an ass feel. He’s harmless, but I don’t want it to freak you out too badly.” She busts up laughing and I smile, hoping she takes me seriously on that bit of information. It is pretty funny but I’m not bluffing.

“You’re kidding, right?”

Shaking my head, I tell her the truth, “Not even a little.” We make our way through the house and she meets all of my aunts, uncles and cousins, along with a few friends. A lot of people are hanging out in the garage. Both cars have been moved outside and the music is playing from someone’s iPod through the speakers. Two couples are dancing, along with three of my teenage female cousins.

As I’m about to ask Valerie to dance, my papá asks me to move some boxes from the spare room to Tía Rosa’s car, so I excuse myself. When I return, my brother Diego’s best friend, Victor, is dancing with her. It’s almost like all the single men in the house smelled fresh meat and came running. Fighting the urge to growl I take a deep breath. I thought she’d be okay for 10 minutes while I was gone. Wrong assumption.

Although I’m irritated that she’s with him, it’s surprise that’s the reigning emotion because I never would’ve guessed this woman could salsa. I knew she had rhythm after I danced with her at the club, but salsa is different and difficult unless you’ve had lessons or have a natural feel for the rhythm. She’s really good. Her feet and hips know exactly how to react to wherever Victor leads her.

The carefree grin she’s wearing as he spins her is almost more than I can take and I can’t help but feel her happiness, until it dawns on me that Victor’s the one who put that expression on her face. Just like with Ricardo, my blood pressure begins to rise. Why am I reacting this way? She’s only my friend. I have no reason to be acting like this, especially since I made it clear I’m not up for anything more than fun. I brought her here to eat and mingle and enjoy good people, I never thought about her enjoying herself like this though. Probably because I’ve never brought a woman here as just a friend before. All the other women I’ve brought here have been on my arm as my date and were only here in order to please me and attempt to get more of commitment from me, not to enjoy themselves.

My family is a big, nosey, loud group that can feel overwhelming to outsiders. It never crossed my mind that she’d blend in seamlessly and enjoy it like she belongs here. I’ve never been a jealous person, but this is twice in one day and all of it here with my family. I need to get a grip on my newfound temper/jealousy problem, but first I’m going to cut in. I’ll wait until this song is over to step in so it doesn’t become too awkward. The music finally changes a minute later so I take that as my cue.

“May I cut in?” I ask, avoiding the glare I get from Victor and focusing on the amusement in her expression. I haven’t seen a look this carefree from her prior to this, except after her orgasms. Little crinkles outside her eyes make her face appear happier and younger.

The music slows down considerably and I pull her in close, leading our bodies with my hips. She follows easily and giggles when I spin her. Strands of honey-colored hair lift off her shoulders and catch the light like spun gold as she turns gracefully.

“You’re good at this, Javier. Who knew a big bad Marine could dance like Fred Astaire?”

“Thank you, I’m equally impressed,” I say and spin her once more before pulling her back in. The light floral scent she’s always wearing drifts across my nose and I can’t help but inhale, trying to discreetly get more.

“I took lessons in high school. It’s been years since I’ve danced like this and I love it. Maybe I need to get back into it on my free nights. It’s liberating, you know?”

I don’t really know, but agree anyway because I love to see the happiness that accompanies all of this for her. The song changes and speeds back up. We twirl, twist, grind and sway like we’ve been dancing together for years. I’m completely lost in our movement and synchronicity when the last song ends and cheers erupt around us. We both look around, startled, as I suspect we’ve both been in our own little worlds, to find everyone at the party packed in the garage watching us. Her head drops to my chest, hiding her face like she’s embarrassed. I wrap my arms around her and note, not for the first time, how perfectly she fits against me, before I say in her ear, “Time to bow, bella.” I spin her out and bow while she curtsies. Then I pull her back to me and kiss her hair, leading her through the crowd of family back into the house.

“Oh hijo, you dance so beautifully,” Mamá gushes and pats my face with affection as I pass her. Tía Maria who is usually so rough on the women that accompany us boys, smiles affectionately at me and Valerie. It takes a lot to soften that lady and Valerie has done it with no effort at all.

“Where did you learn to dance?” Valerie asks while I’m getting us each a bottle of water.

“Mamá made my brothers and me take lessons in middle school. Said we needed to be able to dance with the girls at their quinceañeras. We hated the classes and never ended up dancing with the girls at the parties—at least until we got older—because we were all too shy to ask them to dance. Now that I’m an adult I understand that it’s a nice skill to have.”

“I bet,” she says with a smirk and takes another sip from her drink.

The rest of the evening is pleasant. She seems to enjoy my chaotic family and graciously takes the four plastic containers Mamá sends home with her. When I walk her out to her car, I have the overwhelming desire to kiss her and take her back to my place, but I know it’s a bad idea. She’s at a vulnerable place in her life and needs a friend more than a complicated hook-up. Whereas I only need the hook-up, or that’s what I keep reminding myself. Instead I kiss her cheek and watch as she pulls away.