Something was up with Javier today. He was his usual charming self, but he was a little quieter and a little slower on the comebacks. As always, I enjoyed my time with him and wished there were more men like him. I mean, he takes his grandma to bingo and shopping once a week, he has dinner with his family weekly, he volunteers at VCT and at the veterans’ homeless shelter. He has his own business, putting in full-time hours, and who knows what other miraculous feats he tackles. He’s amazing and that’s the kind of man I want. I’d say I want him, because Lord knows I do, but he’s proven he likes his women young and his commitment-level low. There’s a spark between us, a level of chemistry I’ve never had before that I know he feels too. It’s so irritating that he won’t explore that.

Victor would be a good candidate to date, but there’s something missing between us. The heat I feel when I’m near Javier is non-existent with Victor. So I think real dating, not what Victor and I are doing, is out of the question for me right now. Besides, with my luck I’d get another Ron who cheats on me when I’m not looking. I’m wondering when loyalty became such an old-school concept.

* * *

The next day when I’m standing at the nurses’ station reviewing the chart of a patient I will operate on in the morning, I hear my name called. As I turn toward the familiar voice I’m met with a haggard-looking Ron. Gone is the overly orange-skinned, bleached-teeth, super fit and put-together Ron of a few weeks ago. He’s still orange, but it’s fading. His teeth are still white, but he’s not smiling. His hair is askew like he’s been running his hands through it in exasperation, and his clothes are rumpled, not crisp anymore. The worry lines around his eyes are more pronounced and I’d feel bad for him if he hadn’t been such a dick to me for the last two years. And yes, I say two years since he started cheating on me long before he got the balls to leave and try to ruin my life.

“Can you spare a few minutes for me?” he asks. I flash him a look that says he’s crazy.

“Please, I know I don’t deserve it, but just a few minutes. For old times’ sake?”

He’s got some serious balls using that line on me. “For old times’ sake? Really? You did everything you could to break me since I came to Colorado Springs, so why should I?”

“I get it. I’ve been a jerk, but this is about Thea.”

That’s my kryptonite and he knows it. I want to make him squirm so I count to 10 in my head before I nod and turn to the nurses at the desk to let them know they can reach me on my pager for the next 15 to 20 minutes. Then I lead him to the atrium on the west side of the hospital. It’s not quite lunchtime so it’s quiet here. I sit down across from him at the circular stone table.

“What can I do for you, Ron?” I make sure to give him my least concerned expression.

“Listen, I know you hate me…”

I open my mouth to say yes, I do, but he interrupts and holds up his hand, “Please hear me out. I get that I was a jerk when you came home. I can’t say that I understood it at the time but the last several weeks have given me a perspective I didn’t have back then.”

My blood boils in my veins as I sit here listening to him. I’ve been through hell and made it out the other side alive. Now that I’m waking up in the morning without thinking of him and wondering what I did wrong. Now that I’m making friends and getting comfortable with my new normal, he’s coming to me with apologies and bullshit? He’d better get to the point soon or it’s possible I’ll lose my mind and freak out on him and endanger my job.

“Sheila and I need some time to try and figure things out. I was wondering if you would be willing to keep Thea for a few weeks. I can pick her up on the days I normally have her and take her to dinner but then I need to return her to you.”

“This shouldn’t even be a question, but I have to ask if Sheila is worth pushing your daughter aside for? As much as I hate you, and make no mistake that I do hate you, I know a girl needs her father. I can’t believe you’d let some woman who isn’t even your wife dictate how much time you get with your kid. You’re a bigger dick than I thought.”

I sit back and let that settle between us. I’ve wanted to say some of those things since the day I arrived in town. It’s quite liberating to be able to let it fly, but at the same time sad because he never really considered Thea’s feelings in any of this.

Training his eyes on his fingers, which drum rhythmically on the table between us, he takes a deep breath and says, “It’s not because I don’t want her there. I don’t want her to be in the middle of discord while we work it out. That part’s not exactly going smoothly. I’m not sure if she’s still seeing that guy, but I gave her an ultimatum so I need some time for her and me to just be a couple without the added stress of a preteen.”

“Hmmm. I’ll keep her because I’d love to have her. I’ve been dying for the chance to be with her full-time, but I want you to realize what a horse’s ass you sound like with this. If Sheila’s already cheating on you now, what do you think she’s going to do as time goes on? If having Thea is too stressful now and causing her to step out on you, what will happen when she’s a full-blown teenager, with attitude and drama?”

“Thea isn’t the problem, it just isn’t helping right now.”

“No, Ron. The problem is that you started a relationship with Sheila when you were married to another woman and she willingly let you break our family up so she could have you. You two won’t last because you’ll never be able to trust each other.”

“Val—”

“Ron, this conversation is over. You get to explain to Thea why things are changing though, and please don’t expect sympathy from either of us for the situation you’re in right now. I won’t be made the villain this time so make sure you tell her the truth. I expect you to tell her tonight when you pick her up at six. I have plans until eight, you can bring her back then.”

“What will we do for two hours?”

“I don’t know but I already had these plans and you need time with her anyway, so figure it out.”

“Sheila—”

I shake my head to stop him. “I don’t give a damn about Sheila. I care about Thea. Now go find Sheila and pull your balls out of her purse and reattach them,” I lean in and hiss the last part before I turn and strut back to work. Damn, that felt good.

My guess is that one of Sheila’s complaints is that Thea’s around too much. She was all gung-ho to take over mom duties until she realized it was more than taking her shopping and dining out. Once she figured out that the attention her man gives her is less on the days his daughter is around, she was probably bored with Thea’s presence.

* * *

That evening Victor picks me up at the same time Ron picks up Thea and I swear Ron’s eyes bug out of his head when Victor shows up at the door while he’s standing there. Victor and I are only friends, but I refuse to share that information. I want him to see that he’s not the only man in my life and he’s not the best I could get. Quiet payback is sometimes necessary.

Dinner with Victor is pleasant as it always is. We talk about work and family and movies we want to see. We’ve developed an easy friendship that I enjoy and am thankful for. He’s signing for the check—although it’s not a date he refuses to let me pay, explaining that his mother would fillet him if he allowed that—when a shadow falls over the table. I glance up to see who it is and find the bearded god of passion looming over our table.

“Javier. How are you?” I ask and ignore his frown.

“Obviously, I’ve been out of the loop,” he says. Victor and I exchange a look like what the hell is he talking about?

“What are you out of the loop about?” Victor asks.

“I wasn’t aware you two were dating.” His voice is low and his frown firmly in place.

Before I can respond, Victor’s eyes darken with a look I now know to mean he’s angry. “Javier, we’ve been friends for a lot of years and you’ve never turned your temper my way. I’m not sure how my dating life is your business, but if you care to enlighten me I’ll be glad to answer your question.”

Surprised by the attitude these two are giving each other and not understanding why, I sit quietly and watch the standoff. “You know why,” is Javier’s cryptic response.

“No, man, I don’t and I don’t appreciate you rolling up in here giving me attitude. If you were interested maybe you should’ve asked her out. I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, you snooze, you lose.”

They glare at each other in an epic stare-down while I look between the two wondering who will break the silence first. I almost laugh out loud at how silly they’re being, but I don’t want to make it worse. Finally, Javier glances at me and says, “Have a good evening, Val,” and turns on his heel, walking away without another word to Victor.

“What was that about?” I ask.

“You.”

“What? Me, what did I do?”

“He obviously thinks we’re dating and he’s not happy.”

“The ‘her’ in your conversation was me? That’s absurd.”

“Actually, it’s not. Javie has a thing for you, but he won’t do anything about it.”

“He does not.” We may have awesome chemistry, but he isn’t interested in anything other than an occasional booty call.

“Yeah, he does. He’s just pissed that I can move on and he can’t.”

“Move on from what?” I ask, not understanding at all.

“If he hasn’t told you, I can’t. It’s not my place. It’s the same reason his hair and beard are longer than Jesus’s and why he fills every waking minute of every day with something. I wish I could explain it, but it’s not my place.”

“You can’t bring up that kind of claim and not explain what the hell you mean.”

Victor pauses for a second and a sly grin spreads across his handsome face. “You’ve got a thing for Javie. I should’ve seen that coming. He’s always had that effect on women. They fall like a bunch of dominoes for him and he just keeps on walking.”

“You’re being ridiculous.”

“Whatever. I will say that you’re the first one in a long time that he probably feels something for in return, but he’ll never go there so you need to move on.”

“I’m not stuck on him.”

He places his napkin on his plate and says, “You can lie to me all you want, but you can’t lie to yourself. Let him go before he destroys you. He won’t ever go there with you or any other woman for that matter.”

How infuriating! I don’t say a word all the way back home. When we pull into the driveway, Victor walks me to the door and before he can say goodnight Ron pulls up in front of the house with Thea. His eyes are glued to us and I’m praying he doesn’t get out of the car because it’s possible I’ll tell him off, I’m so irritated right now.

“Hey, Mom! Hi, Mr. Victor.”

“Hi honey,” I say while Victor says, “Hey, Thea.”

“I’ll be inside in a minute; go ahead and get ready for bed.”

“Yes ma’am,” she politely says and closes the door. Ron is still at the curb staring at us.

“Is your ex still sitting there watching us?” he asks.

“Yeah.” I sigh.

“Good,” he says as he pulls me in close and kisses me hard on the mouth.

“Um… What just happened?” His grin is so wicked I can’t help but smile back.

“If he wants to watch, I’m going to give him something good to see.”

“But why?”

“Because he deserves to see that you’re desirable and moving on, even if the moving-on part isn’t really with me.”

“That was some kiss.”

Chuckling, he kisses me softly before he finally steps away from me and says, “We might not be the right fit for each other but there was nothing wrong with that kiss.” After that parting remark, he struts to his car while Ron drives away. What in the world is going on in my life? I shake my head and go inside, ready to relax with a glass of wine and hear about my daughter’s day.