Camryn
VOICES AND MACHINES beeping can be heard all around me. Music. Am I hearing music? Every attempt to open my eyes is met with resistance. It is scary. Confusion. Apprehension. Fear. What the hell happened? My limbs feel heavy. My head is pounding and I would give anything for some water. Cotton. It feels like there is cotton in my mouth and throat. Trying to focus on the sounds around me is exhausting. I go from a deep sleep to a state where I feel like I am awake, but my damn eyes won’t open. Fluttering like a butterfly’s wings but they won’t actually open.
Someone is holding my hand and stroking it gently. Light fingertip strokes, up and down and then back again. Occasionally there is a firm squeeze. Willing myself to squeeze back, I am unsure if I am actually doing it.
Finally, I make out a voice whispering near my ear. Hunter. His presence puts me slightly at ease.
“Baby girl, open those eyes. I need to see them and soon. I am not doing good here, Cam. I am fucking terrified. You know you are all I have. You are my family, and without you there is no me. You need rest but I need those eyes to open and soon. My chest is heavy with the breaths I have been holding in.”
His voice shakes with each word. He sounds dejected. What the hell happened? I remember going out with Hunter and everything after that is a blur. Why can’t I remember anything? Another voice is coming through.
“Hey, man. Why don’t you take a breather? Get some coffee, maybe a bite to eat. I won’t leave her side until you get back. Avery is waiting outside the room and she really wants to see you. If anything changes while you are gone, I will contact you immediately.”
“Promise me you will reach out if she so much as squeezes your hand? Bats an eyelash? Anything?”
“Dude, I got you. Promise. Go stretch your legs for a few.”
Is that Trystan? Why is he here? My brain is a jumbled mess of thoughts and making sense of them seems impossible. Puzzle pieces but none connect.
A new hand grabs a hold of mine and the shock and electricity my body feels tells me all I need to know. Trystan is here. Kisses are peppered all over my hand.
“Sunshine. God, Sunshine. How did we end up here? I have never felt fear like I have tonight. Seeing you in that car, slammed against a tree. Bleeding. Pure terror is all I felt.” His voice is thick with emotion.
Wait…did he say slammed into a tree? Who was I with? Why? Hunter and I were at Maggie’s. It doesn’t make any sense that I would leave with someone other than him.
“This isn’t how I wanted to talk to you,” he chokes out. “Yet here we are. I am so fucking sorry. This is my fucking fault. Somehow I feel like I let you down again.”
What is he talking about? What is his fault? None of this makes any sense to me.
My hand feels wet. Is he crying?
“Hey, Doc. There doesn’t seem to be much change. Her eyes have been fluttering a bit. Any thoughts on when she may wake up?”
“Typically this would only be discussed with family. Privacy issues and all. I understand she doesn’t have any living relatives. Knowing you personally, I will break the rules and fill you in. With brain injuries, one can never tell. My personal opinion is that she is resting and will be back with us in no time. All tests came back negative for any severe damage. She likely just has a concussion that knocked her for a loop. The body has a natural response to rest, recover, and then come back when ready.”
“Patience isn’t exactly a virtue I have, especially when it comes to her.” His tone is clipped with frustration.
“Trystan, I get that. Keep talking to her. She probably can hear you. And I assure you, when she is ready; she will wake up. She will likely be very confused, so we will need to give her time and try our best to answer the questions she has. The bloodwork came back and she has strong traces of Rohypnol in her blood stream.”
“Motherfucker!” Trystan shouts.
“Listen, you need to keep it calm and peaceful in here. Don’t add tension to this situation because it can stress her out,” the doctor admonishes him.
“Man, I am sorry. You have seen me enough around here, with all the ladies who’ve been impacted, over the months. This is personal and now even more so. I failed her. Do you know what that feels like?” he asks vulnerably.
“You didn’t fail her. You have no control over other people. You said yourself this situation may give you the best chance for some video on the perpetrator. Trust yourself and your team. You guys will figure this out. I have rounds, but please press the call button if she wakes. And try not to beat yourself up, Detective.”
Pain radiates in my head. Trying to process what is being said around me is becoming more difficult. Truthfully, I am more puzzled now than I was before. Why is Trystan blaming himself? What the hell happened? How long have I been here? Willing myself to open my eyes and I am overcome with frustration.
Once again my hand is being held. That jolt of electricity courses through my body again, and I know it can only be one person. After so many years, my body still reacts to him. Energy shifts throughout my frame. Goosebumps cover my skin. A blanket is pulled over me, and I can only assume Trystan saw the goosebumps and thought I was cold. Not even close. Warmth is all I feel. With Trystan and me, it was not love at first sight by any means. However, for me there was an undeniable click between us. A shift in energy. And from that day forward, I knew he would be someone important in my life. Until he wasn’t.
“Open those eyes, Sunshine,” he pleads. “From the creases in your forehead and the rapid blink of your eyelids, I know you are thinking. Maybe you can hear me. They say people can when in this situation. That is why myself, Hunter, or Avery have not left your side and keep talking to you. One of us will be here when those beautiful brown eyes open up. Truly, I hope it is me that is here. There is so much we need to talk about. So damn much. We have missed so much time,” his voice cracks while speaking. “There was not a single day that passed when I didn’t think about you. Wishing you were with me. Praying to have you in my arms again. Imagining myself buried so deep inside you, we don’t know where you end and I begin. My heart belongs to you, Sunshine. You are my forever. Always have been and always will be,” comes out in barely a whisper.
He sounds dejected. He must love that I cannot respond right now. I know full well he isn’t happy I am in this situation, but if I was awake, I am sure I would have a comeback, or would have stormed away from him. As much as I crave his presence, and want to hear him out, my heart doesn’t allow it. Hearing him say all these things is so damn hard. It is all I have ever wanted him to say, but it doesn’t add up to what happened.
“There are so many things we have missed out on, Cam. So much time lost. This isn’t ideal for me expressing my feelings to you. But I need you to hear me. I hope you can hear me. Just know when you are awake, and healed, we will be talking. Hear me out, Sunshine. Please. Please just do that, and if you still decide you hate me, I will leave you be.” He is pleading with me. His tone is melancholy, and for some reason, something shifts inside me.
Perhaps it is because I am terrified right now and have no idea how I ended up here. Vulnerability could be the cause. Maybe I do want to hear what he has to say. Avery has been my best friend for years, and as much as she tries not to meddle, she has stood by her brother and implored me to give him a chance to explain. She wouldn’t do that unless it was something worthwhile that she thought I needed to hear. But none of it makes sense. He got someone pregnant. What else is there to know besides that very major detail? Thinking back over the years, Caleb’s mother has never been in the picture. In fact, no one mentions her, nor have I seen her in one picture with him throughout his life. That in itself is strange.
Feeling fingers gently stroke my cheek and forehead is calming my busy mind. Exhaustion is coming again. It comes in waves. Music. Again I hear music. It sounds like Pink. My love affair with that woman is no secret. She is my ultimate girl crush. Thinking of her, and how much her music has helped me over the years, makes me want to smile. She is my soul sister and undercover bestie, only she doesn’t know it.
“Something has you smiling, Sunshine. Not gonna lie, I wish I knew what it was. Maybe it’s not a full-on a smile, but a sweet smirk will do right now.” His tone is hopeful. “Hunter insisted we had music playing for you. Which didn’t surprise me at all. You have always loved music. Getting lost in lyrics and beats for as long as I can remember. You can’t hold a tune to save your life and have absolutely zero rhythm, but that has never stopped you from rocking out. Just another thing I love about you. You give zero fucks and always do you, regardless of what others think.”
Something inside of me is saying to open my eyes. Failing each time, I have tried thus far has me frustrated, but I am determined. Forcing my eyes open, the light is unbearable. Jesus Christ it is bright in here.
“Trystan,” comes out of my mouth in barely a whisper.
His head snaps up and I met with the biggest smile I have ever seen on his face.
“Can you lower the light?” I croak out.
He shoots up out of his seat and flips some switches and immediately my eyes feel much better. The harsh brightness and blinding of the lights is gone. He is back by my side in an instant. Fumbling with the call button for the nurses’ station, I grab his hand.
“Wait a minute. I need a second before they come poke and prod me and ask me a million questions.” My voice is raspy and I barely recognize it. “Can I have some water? How long have I been out? What happened?”
“Oh God, sweetheart, you must be so thirsty. I’m not sure I can give you water without permission from the doc. Let me call them and get Hunter and Avery in here. Is that okay? As much as I want you all to myself for a bit longer, I promised them. And the quicker the doctor checks you out, the better.” He glances at his watch. “You’ve been out for about twelve hours, and we will talk about what happened after you get check out. Okay?”
Whipping out his phone, he shoots off a text. He is being precautious, and for some reason that endears him to me in this moment. Trystan Harrison is not one to take orders from anyone, but he seems willing to sacrifice that trait to make sure everything is handled correctly. Moments later, the door is thrown open and Hunter and Avery make a beeline to my side. Hunter smothers me and gets a smack upside the head from Avery.
“Let her breathe, dude. And get out of my way so I can kiss my best friend,” she says jokingly.
He backs away slightly but grabs my hand and grips it tightly. Plopping down in the seat next to me, he holds my hand in a vice-like grip. Knowing he was terrified, I let him hold me tightly. Hunter and I share a bond which can’t be explained. We are family in every sense of the word. We may not have the same DNA and blood running through our veins, but our bond is unbreakable. Looking up to meet his eyes, unshed tears cloud his beautiful blue orbs. Seeing him with tears in his eyes instantly springs a similar reaction from me. Avery gets comfortable on the other side of me and takes my other hand in hers. Trystan stands off to the side and allows my two best friends to have their time with me. We sit in silence. Words are not needed to understand the gravity of what happened tonight and the fear they all felt.
After what seems like several minutes, a doctor and nurse make their way in.
“We are going to need a few minutes with Ms. James. Can you guys go wait outside? We will come get you after we go over a few things, check some vitals, and ask some questions,” the doctor declares.
Reluctantly Avery, Hunter, and Trystan depart the room. Without their presence fear takes over. Not sure why I am feeling this way causes the tears to flow. The nurse rushes to my side and grabs my hand. Her gentle hand smooths some stray hairs out of my face. Pain radiates from my head and I cringe in pain.
“Sweetie, you have had a rough night. You have a nasty gash on your forehead and I imagine that is causing you some pain. Dr. Brady will take good care of you. And hopefully we can get you out of here soon. I’m thinking we will observe you for at least twenty-four hours, but if all is good, we should be able to spring you from here.”
“Can I have some water? I am so damn thirsty.”
She leaves my side and returns with a cup of ice chips and another with water. She offers them both, leaving the choice to me. The cold beckons me and I opt for ice chips. Placing a few in my mouth, I moan in appreciation. Those little chips of ice are like nirvana on my tongue. After my thirst is quenched, the poking, prodding, and interrogating happens. Sadly, I have no memory of what happened after arriving at Maggie’s. The doctor explained there are a few reason for this. The accident could be playing a role in that, but also apparently I was drugged, and the drug in question can make someone forget periods of time.
Drugged. Thinking about this weighs so heavy on my mind and heart. What would have happened if Preston hadn’t show up at my table, and in turn, tried to take care of me? Trystan’s reaction makes more sense now. He has been working on a case for months due to the increase in women be roofied and sexually assaulted. Avery has given me some basic details because it has been consuming Trystan. He has needed her and her parents more than normal for help with Caleb.
After confirmation that if all goes well for the next twelve to twenty-four hours, I can be released, my wary state begins to take over. Somehow Trystan convinced Avery and Hunter to go get some sleep and that he would stay with me. Prior to today, this would have caused me to bristle and fight. For some reason, the thought of him watching over me gives me some peace. Hunter put up a fight, but I intervened and convinced him I would need him to be rested and ready for when I get released. He looked so worn and exhausted; I knew sleep was a must for him. After all visitors depart my room, Trystan and I are once again left alone. Concern is etched on his face. No words are passing between us, however we are having a conversation with our eyes alone. His gaze is penetrating. After a few minutes of our little stare down, Trystan urges me to close my eyes.
“Get some sleep, darlin’. I am not leaving your side and will be here when you open those beautiful eyes.”
“Can I ask you a favor? I mean you can say no,” I say quietly.
“Ask me anything, Sunshine. Always. Never be afraid to ask me questions.”
“Will you lay with me and just hold me?” I inquire shyly. “For some reason I need that right now.”
I don’t have to ask him twice. Without response, he climbs on the bed with me. Careful of the wires attached to different parts of my body, he pulls me close to him. In that moment, a sense of peace and security washes over me.
“We will probably get yelled at for this, but fuck if I care. You want me to hold you—my answer will be—fucking hell yes. Without question. Every single time. Get some sleep, Sunshine. And please remember I am here. Not leaving your side.” He places a kiss on my head and absentmindedly strokes my side. This shouldn’t feel as good and as comforting as it does. Shaking my head to clear the thoughts, I decide to just be. There will be plenty of time examine these feelings. What I do know with clarity, and for the first time ever, is that I need to hear what Trystan has to say. I need to know what happened and why he thinks it will be acceptable to me. He is adamant that everything is not as it seems, and for whatever reason, I need to know what that means. For the first time in a long time, I drift off to sleep in the arms of the man who has owned my heart for as long as I can remember.