twenty-four
rutledge
I sat at the small table watching Peyton move about the kitchen.
It had been a smart idea to have the trailer already prepped with cooking equipment, because it saved me a trip to another fucking store with her.
Don’t get me wrong, there had been moments I’d liked shopping with her. One, when I trailed behind her, watching her ass sway beneath the denim. There had been the groping in the back aisle. And the few small kisses she had given me when she got excited after finding what she wanted.
But all in all, shopping with her was a fucking nightmare. Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating.
I’d never shopped with a woman, I hadn’t known what to expect. But talk about being overwhelmed. I don’t think she appreciated just how much she bit off when she bought the house. Jesus, but I was grateful that I’d been able to experience the excitement in her eyes, be there when she chose things for her new home.
I’d just sent an email to Max asking if his cousin who worked for the NYPD could look into a Jack Stone that resided in Boston for me before opening and reading an email from the potential buyer of my business.
“If you got offered three point two mill and was able to live your life doing whatever you fucking wanted to do, would you do it?”
She stopped mixing the beef, her focus shifting to me. “If it made me happy, if I was ready to do what I wanted with my life, yeah I would totally do it.”
I rested my elbows on the table, laced my fingers together, and rested my chin atop them. “What if you had something in your life that made you happy but...” I paused looking for the right words. “You weren’t sure it’d be there forever. Then what would you do?”
Her expression turned pained, her eyes drifting to the bowl. “There are no guarantees in life; things can change in the blink of an eye, but if you find something that makes you want to get out of bed in the morning, something that you’re willing to fight for, regardless of how long you have it, it is worth doing whatever you can to keep it.”
The words fell from my lips before I had a chance to stop them. “Would three point two mill keep you with me?”
This time she totally stopped what she was doing. Her focus was intense; every muscle in her body was rigid. Then her head tilted and her lips parted. “Three point two mill is a lot of money, but no. That wouldn’t keep me with you. I don’t require a cent to stay with you. Even if that meant we stayed in this trailer or a box by the cliff. Money doesn’t mean shit when you’re talking about what’s happening between us.”
My father had always been about money. His advice to me ringing loud in my ears. “You can’t have anything in life, Rut, without money in your pocket. Not even a good piece of snatch.” He was wrong, because I had a great piece across the room from me who loved me, telling me money didn’t matter.
She went back to making dinner, but I wanted to give her more.
“You know the meeting I had to be at on Monday morning?”
She stopped what she was doing, totally committed to the conversation. “Yes.”
I closed the laptop, pushed it aside and gave her my full attention. “It was with another parts distribution company that wants to buy mine. Merge the two companies, let the people employed with Raines stay where they are.” She held my stare as I continued, “Their offer was three point two mill.”
There was silence for a beat or two before she asked, “Do you like your job?”
I looked to the table because that was never something I’d given thought to. Did I like my job? Fuck, no one ever asked me that. I worked my ass off from the time I was fourteen in that warehouse. By the time I was twenty-three my father had been too involved with gambling, liquor and women. And not in that order. He always had a bottle of beer in hand from as far back as I could remember. And there had been numerous women who had come in and out of my life. And remembering all the years I’d worked my ass off to put booze in his belly, pussy on his dick, and bills on a felt table made me furious.
“I fucking hate my job,” I spat out. Because it was the first and only time I admitted it.
She walked to the sink and washed her hands before joining me at the table. She didn’t reach for me, only sat there, understanding coming from every part of her. “If you hate your job, if it doesn’t make you happy, then you should take the offer. Think about you, Rut, think about what makes you happy. Find that happy then do whatever you can to keep it.”
My happy was only an arm’s length away from me.
I reached for her hand, cupped my hand around her small one, and held it tight. “You, Peaches, are my happy.”
Her eyes went bright, her hold on my hand tightened. I wiped the tear that slipped from her eye before she whispered, “I forgot, until you, I forgot what true happiness felt like.”
I kept one hand on hers, the other cupped her cheek; softly I told her, “Peaches, if we keep this shit up I’m gonna have to fuck you on this table, and as much as I want to right now, I’m kinda fucking hungry.”
She had no reaction at first, stared blankly at me before a small smile curved her lips. She stood and headed back to what she’d been doing but said over her shoulder, “Seriously, Hallmark is missing out.”
I chuckled, pulled the laptop back in front of me, and opened it. But every so often I looked up and watched her. The small smile planted on her luscious lips. Her body moving with the music she had on low. The peace set across her beautiful face.
I responded to the email and addressed Peyton, “I have to go home this coming weekend, I want you to go with me.”
Those pales greens shifted to me. “I’d really like that.”
Yeah, I might be so damn fucking fucked, but I’d take it because for the first time in my life I loved a woman. And she was pretty fucking awesome.
***
We lay in silence, only the sounds of our labored breaths filling the quiet room. After an amazing release, her naked body fitted to my side, a stomach full of awesome spaghetti and meatballs, I was feeling fucking great. At peace. Until she spoke.
“Earlier this morning after you made me scream your name, twice, you fell asleep but you seemed to be having a nightmare. Do you have them often?” Her voice was soft and small when she asked.
I took a deep breath. “I used to.”
“So not as much now?” She questioned as her fingers began to glide along my abs.
“They just don’t happen as often as they used to,” I told her and hoped like hell she’d end the conversation. Getting the hint that I didn’t want to talk about this shit after the great fucking night we just had. But this was Peyton, she didn’t give up that easy.
There was a pause, I thought maybe she’d surprise me and drop it. I knew better. “Are the nightmares always the same?”
I shifted us so we were lying on our sides, face to face. Only the light coming from the kitchen casted a glow in the small bedroom.
“Yes,” I answered her flatly, watching her expression in the dim lighting.
She held my stare, tenderness in her eyes. “The same dark thing in your past that you think when I learn of it, I’ll run?”
My thumb skated across the swell of her cheek. “Yes,” I answered in a rough whisper.
She looked down to my chest, lost in her own thoughts, before she added, “I’m here if you ever want to talk about it, but I won’t push.”
I grabbed her, pulling her on top of me, causing her to let out a squeal, and said. “Let’s get some ice cream, yeah?” I cupped her cheek in my hand, her long hair draped over both our faces like a curtain. “Just give me time, baby, yeah?”
The sweetest smile touched her lips. “Take all the time you need. In the meantime, you can help me eat around the damn nuts,” she offered with a wink.
My brows jerked up, as did my lips. I winked back before saying, “That your way of saying you’re gonna suck me off?”
Heated eyes moved down my body. There was mischievousness in her gaze. “Maybe.”
My cock twitched and began to grow. The vision of her between my legs, cock in that soft sweet mouth was a fucking vision I was hoping to see, and very soon. I wouldn’t press her on it. She shifted when she felt the swell of my dick against her leg. I smacked her ass and said, “Let’s go get that ice cream.”
And that’s what we did. Both naked, her sitting on the small counter, me between her legs, we ate ice cream and talked about nothing but it meant everything.