I walked into Ryland’s bedroom to find him tapping away at his phone as if he hadn’t just been stabbed two days before. What little display of vulnerability I’d seen in the hospital was no longer there as he conducted business as usual.

The only way I could even tell he wasn’t himself was by the few pieces of hair sticking every which way on his head. That and the fact he had his shirt on inside out. He didn’t even seem to notice, which was very unlike him.

When he heard my sigh, he looked up at me, his features softening a fraction before they hardened again. He was still pissed at me for not being at the hospital this morning, and I hadn’t even had the energy to explain why yet. I did call and check in with Matt, though, who reported that Nicole was safe and sound at his apartment. He said she would stay there until all of this blew over. It was the only good news I’d heard all day.

“You don’t have to stay.” Ryland kept his eyes glued to his screen. “If you have better things to do.”

I wanted to take his phone and throw it at the wall.

“Don’t,” I snapped, my voice wavering already.

He blinked up at me in confusion. “Brighton…”

“No.” The dam burst and I didn’t even care. “Don’t you Brighton me. You didn’t even think to ask why I was late this morning. And I didn’t want to upset you, it’s the only reason I didn’t tell you before.”

“Tell me what?” his voice gentled as he patted the bed beside him. “Come here.”

I remained where I was, blinking away the tears. God, I was sick of crying.

“Nicole was having a mental breakdown last night, and I didn’t know how to handle it,” I said. “I found her this morning in her room with a bottle of whiskey and a bunch of pills. She freaked out when I tried to call an ambulance.”

Ryland tore his gaze from mine and took a shaky breath. “Is she okay?”

“She’s with Matt,” I replied. “He says she’s doing okay. But Ryland… she’s not going to get better. Not until this…”

“Stop,” he croaked. “Brighton, please come here. I need you right now.”

It was the most honest thing he’d ever said. And so I went.

He pulled me against his side, and we both ignored the elephant in the room for a while longer. I would ask him what he planned to do to Brayden, but not tonight. My psyche couldn’t handle it, and I didn’t think his could either.

“I almost lost you,” I cried.

“You didn’t,” he whispered. “I’m still here.”

It was true, and yet, I couldn’t relax. Because even though he was still there, I didn’t know how much longer that would be.

 

***

 

I woke to the sound of Ryland groaning and rolled over to find him clutching his ribs. He was still half-asleep and probably didn’t even realize he was doing it.

Then it occurred to me I’d forgotten to give him his pain pills last night. Already I was doing a horrible job of playing nurse.

I scurried from the bed and into the kitchen, shaking a couple pills into my hand and filling a glass of water.

“Brighton?” Ryland’s panicked voice came from the bedroom.

I padded back down the hall, and his face filled with relief the moment he saw me.

I sat down beside him and handed him the pills, watching to make sure he took them before he sank back against the pillow. His hair was even more mussed than the day before, and I smoothed it back into place as I looked into his troubled eyes.

“Ryland, I’m not going anywhere.”

He nodded, but it was obvious he didn’t believe me. And I didn’t know how to get through to him, so instead, I decided to take his mind off of it.

“I’m going to get you cleaned up, okay?”

I didn’t give him time to argue as I walked to the bathroom and gathered the supplies I needed. When I came back, I found him struggling to undress.

“Here, let me help you,” I offered.

He gave me a frustrated sigh but allowed me to undress him. I put a towel down beneath him and placed my bucket of soapy water within reach.

To my surprise, he laid back and relaxed against the pillows, allowing me to get straight to work.

“You aren’t fighting me on this.” I smoothed the cloth over the hard planes of his body, careful to avoid his bandages.

He grinned. “I can’t say that this doesn’t appeal to me.”

“Of course you’d like this,” I teased, gliding the cloth up and down his arm.

“I like any time you touch me of your own free will,” he confessed.

Though he hadn’t intended to, his words returned the darkness of our situation to the room. The ever-present reminder of how all of this had started. The painful chasm that still divided us.

I ignored it and my mixed up feelings as I ran the cloth up and down his legs. His cock started to jerk against his belly, swollen and eager to be touched.

He shuddered as I ran the cloth over that part of him, cleaning him quickly and without finesse. It was difficult to pull away, but I managed, placing the cloth back into the bucket. I moved to stand, but Ryland grasped my arm.

“Don’t stop,” he pleaded. “I need you, baby girl.”

“Ryland, we can’t,” I protested. “You need to rest.”

“I need to be inside of you,” he insisted. “God, it’s been so long. I’ve missed you so much. I need to feel you again. Please.”

I knew I shouldn’t. He needed to relax and let himself heal. But in my mind, I was as desperate as him for that connection. The one place we’d never had any problems. The one way we could communicate our feelings without words.

So, throwing caution to the wind, I positioned myself between his legs and kneeled down to suck him into my mouth.

He hissed the moment my lips enveloped him and tried to buck his hips up to greet me.

“We do this my way,” I warned him. “Or not at all. I’m in control here, Ryland, not you.”

His eyes flared, but he didn’t say a word of protest as he watched me take him back into my mouth. I could tell it was difficult for him, but he let me have control.

He wound his fingers through my hair and groaned, his cock swelling even more as I sucked him deeper.

“Please, Brighton,” he begged. “I need to be inside of you.”

I pulled away and tugged off my shorts and panties, discarding them on the floor before I straddled his hips again. His hands pushed down the material of my cami, seeking out my breasts.

I was soaking wet for him already, and I glided him inside of me without resistance. He made another strangled noise in his throat as his hands fell to my hips.

“Oh fuck,” he groaned as I began to move. “You can’t ever take this away from me again.”

He devoured me with his eyes, his frustration warring with awe as I took charge. I rolled my hips around in circles and bobbed up and down on his shaft, giving him what he so desperately needed.

“Play with yourself,” he rasped. “I want to watch you.”

I did as he requested, not feeling the slightest bit shy. We were far past that at this point. Whatever this man asked of me, I would do. It was a dangerous power he held.

I reached up and cupped one of my breasts while the other hand toyed with my clit. All of my frustration and anger and pain from the last few days combined to a boiling point of pressure inside of me. When I finally blew, the waves of pleasure seemed to roll on forever. It was the most cathartic release I’d ever had.

Ryland’s breath was ragged and his eyes wild as I increased my pace fractionally to drive him over the edge.

“So hot,” he grunted. “So fucking beautiful, baby girl. Oh, God.”

His release barreled into me, bathing me with warmth as his breath stuttered in his chest. He started to cough, and I gave him a panicked look, but he shook his head as I climbed off of him.

“Was it worth it?” I scolded. 

He smiled and nestled me against his arm, kissing me softly on the forehead.

“It always is with you.”