Brighton

 

 

We’d spent the weekend moving.

And by moving, I meant Nicole’s stuff. Because I’d left all of my meager belongings at Ryland’s. Nicole was nice enough to let me borrow her clothes in the meantime, but that wasn’t going to work forever. My belly had already grown, and soon I would need some real maternity clothes.

I bought a second hand sewing machine on Craigslist for that very purpose. It wasn’t a Singer, but I would take what I could get. Nicole and I continued to work on our project, and it was quickly expanding into something even bigger than I could have ever imagined. Once Nicole put her mind to something, she was truly unstoppable.

I really needed to find a real job though. I’d been pouring all of my spare time into sewing, and as much as I loved it, I had to be realistic. Everything was going to change in six months, and I needed to be financially prepared for that. Luckily for me, Matt said he might be able to help me out. He’d organized for me to talk to the owner of the dive bar where his waitress friend worked. They had an open position for a server which wasn’t ideal, but it was a place to start. I was heading there this afternoon.

“You want me to drive you?” Nicole asked as I glanced at myself in the mirror.

Even with the flared waist of my dress, you could still see a little baby bump if you looked close enough. I chewed on my lip, and Nicole grinned.

“You look fine, Brighton. They won’t even notice.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Now get your butt in the car, or we’re going to be late.”

I followed her out of the apartment and to her car. It still felt weird every time I got into it like I was breaking one of Ryland’s rules. I understood why he had that rule now. He was afraid of me getting into a crash.

Again, with the irony.

Nicole cruised down the street and punched the automatic door locks when we hit a red light. I didn’t blame her in this neighborhood, and it only added to my stress about what I was going to do. This wasn’t somewhere I wanted to raise a baby, but what choice did I have? Things weren’t any better back at Norma’s, and there was no way I’d let my baby grow up around that.

I needed to get my shit together, and quick.

“So Matt set this up?” Nicole asked, tapping her fingers against the steering wheel as she waited for the light to change.

“Yeah, it was really nice of him. I hope I get it.”

“Me too.” She gave me a weak smile. “But how did he even know about this job?”

There was something weird in her voice, and I started fidgeting with my cardigan. I didn’t want to upset her, but I didn’t want to lie either.

“He knows one of the waitresses there.”

She nodded, as though I only confirmed what she already knew. Her entire posture changed, and she got that faraway look in her eyes.

“We should meet up with him this week,” I suggested. “I know he’d love to see you.”

It took Nicole a minute to realize I was talking to her. “What?” she blinked. “Oh, yeah, sure. We could do that.”

 

Twenty minutes later, we walked into the bar.

Nicole went and ordered a drink while I asked for the owner. He was an older gentleman by the name of David, and he put me at ease right away.

“Why don’t you have a seat, Brighton.” He gestured to the bar. “We can do a quick interview before the lunch crowd hits.”

I took a seat, and David brought over a piece of paper with some questions scrawled across it. Luckily for me, they were all easy to answer, and I lied through my teeth. I told him I’d waitressed before, which wasn’t my finest moment, but I really needed this job. After five minutes, he set the paper down and gave me a grin.

“Well, Matt was right. I think you’ll do just fine. When can you start?”

I tried to contain my glee as I smiled back at him. “Whenever you need me to.”

“Okay, how about tomorrow night then? Six o’clock.”

I stood up and shook his hand. “Thanks, David. Thank you so much.”

 

***

 

That night I texted Matt to tell him how grateful I was.

And then, as I curled into bed, I performed my evening ritual of reading through the texts Ryland sent me throughout the day. I still hadn’t found the courage to change my phone number. It was the last connection I had to him, and there was still a piece of me that just couldn’t let that go. But I would only ever allow myself to look at his texts once, and it was always at night before I went to sleep.

I scrolled through the screen and tried to keep my emotional armor on while I read his usual messages.

 

Baby girl.

Please talk to me.

 

I’m thinking of you right now.

I won’t tell you what, but just know

that if you were here,

You’d be sore as hell tomorrow.

 

I love you, Brighton.
I’m not giving up on us.

 

I closed my eyes and released a shaky breath. Every day, it was the same version of texts. He told me how much he missed me. Begged me to talk to him. And then, professed how much he loved me. He wasn’t shy about saying that at all now. But we still hadn’t really spoken about what happened.

He swore he was done with his revenge. That he fucked up, and he didn’t want to lose me. I wanted so badly to believe him. But he’d lied to me before, and I didn’t just have myself to think about anymore.

So I resorted to my heartbreaking ritual of typing out the same words I did every night. The message that I could never actually send.

 

I love you, Ryland.

 

 

***

 

I glanced over my shoulder as I walked out of the doctor’s office and frowned. The same guy I’d seen earlier was still there, leaning against the brick wall. He was smoking a cigarette, his eyes scanning up and down the street. It was probably just a coincidence, but I could have sworn I saw him the week before too. And that was on the other side of the city.

“What’s the matter?” Nicole whispered.

“It’s just that guy,” I answered. “I don’t know, I thought I saw him last week at Misha’s place. And he’s been out here the whole time I was in my appointment. Am I being crazy paranoid?”

He looked at us, and I could have sworn guilt flickered across his face. There was something familiar about him. A hazy image of the man who cut the airbag in the car popped into my head, but I couldn’t place him now. Was this the same guy? He was huge. Like body builder type huge. Dark hair and dark appraising eyes. Nothing in particular about him stood out, apart from the fact that he was dressed in a nice suit. It was odd for this neighborhood.

“I don’t know.” Nicole tugged on my arm. “But let’s not stick around to find out.”

We walked down the street, and when I glanced back over my shoulder, he was gone. Matt met us at a café around the corner, buying us both a hot chocolate and a muffin for lunch.

“So?” he raised his brows. “How did it go?”

“Good.” I nodded. “I’m not scheduled to have an ultrasound for a while, but I just wanted to get established with the doctor.”

“Gotcha.” Matt looked confused. This was definitely not his department.

“Sooo….” He swung his gaze to Nicole. “Misha said you were moving out?”

Nicole and I both looked at each other. We hadn’t really planned on how we were going to break the news to Matt.

“What is it?” he asked.

“We are moving out.” Nicole fiddled with a packet of sugar, her eyes looking everywhere but at him. “Brighton and I got an apartment together. In fact, we moved this weekend.”

“Oh.” Matt’s tone dropped. “Where at?”

“Well, I think for now, it would be best if nobody else knew.”

Matt narrowed his eyes and worked his jaw. He definitely wasn’t happy about this. At all.

“Nicole…”

“I’m not accountable to you,” she cut him off. “I don’t have to tell you where I’m at or what I’m doing.”

I shot her a pleading glance. I knew she wasn’t telling him because he would worry, but this wasn’t the way to go about it. She was only pushing him further away.

“Right.” He stood up and set down his unfinished coffee. “I get it, Nicole. I was just trying to look out for you. As a friend. Because that’s what friends do. But I guess I had it all wrong.”

Her lip wobbled, but she didn’t say another word. So Matt walked out the door.

 

***

 

I collapsed onto my bed with a sigh. Today had been exhausting already, and I still had to work in an hour. I was nervous as hell.

Working as a receptionist was easy for me because it took minimal coordination. Waitressing on the other hand… I didn’t know how I was going to handle it. But how hard could it be?

My phone chimed. I was afraid to even look at it, but I couldn’t resist.

 

Missing you, baby girl.

 

The office isn’t the same without you.

 

They were Ryland’s usual texts. But as I scrolled down, I noticed there were a lot more today. And panic set in when I realized why.

 

Why were you at the doctor, Brighton?

What’s wrong?

 

Don’t punish me this way.

I need to know you’re okay.

Please, baby girl.

 

I stopped reading. I knew he’d be freaking out and thinking the worst. It hurt me, but I couldn’t break my rule. I couldn’t text him back. Because that would be opening a door I wouldn’t be able to close again. And I needed to be more concerned about the fact that he knew what I was doing.

It was that guy loitering outside of the building, it had to be.

I needed to be more careful. The last thing I wanted was for Ryland to figure out where I was living.