It took Ryland all of one week before he declared he was ready to go back to work. Any sane person would have tried to reason with him, but I knew there was no reasoning with him when he was this way.

It was a side of him I hadn’t ever seen before. He was on edge and going stir-crazy locked up in his apartment. He’d been trying to conduct business from his laptop and cell phone all week, and all of his employees were bearing the brunt of his frustration.

I’d made myself scarce and let him do what he needed to do while I locked myself away in the sewing room. I’d thrown myself into random projects here and there before I felt restless myself. But then I spotted some rolls of tulle, and the wheels in my brain started to spin.

I flipped through patterns and designs as I sought out inspiration. And then it hit me. Like a mack truck.

I don’t know what inspired me to think this was a good idea, but I couldn’t stop myself. I started with one skirt, then I kind of went crazy. Now I had about ten variations, along with a handful of leotards. They were unique with fun patterns and designs, and I had no idea what I would do with them. But for the first time in a long time, I was proud of something I had accomplished.

Until Ryland opened the door and a surge of guilt flooded through me. I didn’t want him to see. I didn’t know how he would handle it. So I rushed up to him and helped him adjust his tie while he tried to look around the room.

“What are you working on in here?” he eyed me suspiciously.

“It’s not finished yet.” I tugged his hand and pulled him from the room. “And besides, it’s a mess in there, you’d hate it.”

“It doesn’t bother me.”

I laughed and rolled my eyes. “Sure it doesn’t.”

“I mean it.” He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me against him. “I love your little messes.”

The words slipped from his lips unexpectedly, and I could tell they had surprised him too. Since that day in the hospital, he hadn’t outright told me he loved me again. It was an honest admission and one that made him vulnerable. Something Ryland never liked to be.

“I have to get going,” he said quickly, wiping the moment from existence.

I frowned and started fidgeting, feeling weird about this whole situation. Now that he was better, I didn’t know what I should do.

“I need to find a job,” I blurted.

Ryland leaned down and kissed my cheek as though he’d expected such an outburst. Then he pulled a shiny black card from his wallet. Knowing better than to try to hand it to me right away, he set it on the counter and gave me a moment to come to terms with it.

“I don’t want you to worry about work,” he said. “I want you to focus on your sewing for now.”

“Ryland…”

“And spending time with Nicole,” he added. “Matt has to go back to work today as well, so he’ll be dropping her off here soon.”

I gave him a suspicious glare, wondering if this was a ruse to keep me busy so I didn’t have time to wonder what he was up to. Of course, I wanted to look after Nicole, but I’d talked to her every day on the phone, and she sounded much better.

Ryland strode to the door, and my opportunity was slipping away. It had to be said. There was no way that it couldn’t be said.

“What are you going to do about Brayden?”

He spun around, and his eyes had turned to ice again.

“I don’t want you to worry about these things, Brighton.”

A dry laugh burst from my throat as I stared at him in disbelief. “Are you kidding me? They’re my family, Ryland. Of course, I have to worry about these things.”

“You’re not like them,” he argued.

“Yes, I am.” I frowned. “I’m from the same stock, Ryland. I’m no better, no different. Their blood runs through my veins, and that’s not something that will ever change.”

My words hardened his jaw, and he looked away. I wasn’t going to lie, it stung.

“Is that the only way you can be with me?” I rasped. “To pretend I’m not one of them?”

He closed the distance between us in three long steps, crushing me against him.

“Of course it isn’t.” He stroked my hair and kissed my forehead. “I don’t see it that way. I don’t see you that way.”

His words were meant to comfort me, but they didn’t. Because I knew it was true. That in his mind, he had put us all into neat little boxes. He had separated the truth of the situation from reality. He may have wanted to believe I was someone else to ease his own conscience, but it didn’t change anything.

“You didn’t tell the police what he did,” I said, getting back to the topic at hand. “So that means you must be planning something.”

He pulled away and gave me a hurt expression like I was defending the other team.

“I know what he did was wrong.” I pulled him back to me. “But, Ryland, this needs to stop now. I’m here, aren’t I? I took care of you. That shows you how I feel about you. I’m here. I don’t want to lose you, but I don’t want to lose them either.”

“That’s the whole point of the game, Brighton.” He gave me a sad smile. “Somebody has to lose.”

 

***

 

Twenty minutes after Ryland left, Matt and Nicole showed up at the door.

“You’ll take care of her?” Matt asked, lingering in the hallway with a frown.

“Of course I will,” I assured him.

“Go.” Nicole shooed him away. “You’re going to be late.”

Matt left, reluctantly, and Nicole sighed as she wandered over to an empty barstool.

“I don’t need to be babysat. It was a stupid mistake.”

“But it wasn’t the first time it’s happened,” I pointed out. “Everybody’s worried about you.”

“I know,” she grumbled. “But it was just too much, you know?”

“I do.” I blew the hair out of my eyes and collapsed beside her.

“How are things going with you anyway?” she asked.

“Well, they’d be better if I didn’t think my boyfriend and my brother still want to kill each other,” I replied without humor.

Nicole nodded and tapped her fingers on the marble countertop. “What are you going to do?”

“What can I do? Neither one of them will be honest with me. And Norma… well she won’t listen to reason either.”

Nicole nodded, obviously not knowing what to say. Like me, she had no idea how to get out of this vortex, but I didn’t want to keep pulling her down with me. So instead, I put on a smile and tugged her hand as I stood up from the breakfast bar.

“C’mon, I want to show you something.”

 

***

 

“Brighton, these are gorgeous.” Nicole ran her fingers over the tutus with the first honest happiness I’d seen on her face in a while.

“Thank you.” I blushed. “I don’t know what I’m going to do with them, but… I thought it would be nice to do something good. Something to honor Sophia’s memory.”

Her name felt strange on my tongue, and the same familiar burn of guilt was there whenever I said it. I tried to push the image of the mangled girl in the car from my mind. I wanted to think of her as the tiny dancer with the golden halo instead.

Nicole clapped a hand over her mouth and shuddered, and immediately I thought this was the worst idea I’d ever come up with.

“I knew it.” I gathered up the Tulle and tried to put it away. “This was so stupid of me.”

“No.” Nicole reached out and stopped me. “It wasn’t. It’s perfect.”

She smiled through the tears, but I wasn’t entirely convinced.

“Did you know that this machine was his moms?” she asked.

Something swelled inside my chest as I swung my gaze to the vintage sewing machine. “It was?”

“Yes. That’s why it’s so perfect. It’s like she meant for you to have it.”

“I can’t believe Ryland let me use it…”

“I couldn’t think of anyone who would put it to better use,” Nicole said softly. “And I want to help you with this project.”

“Really?” 

“Yes.” She nodded. “I mean, I can’t sew. But I want to help find a use for these. Like a charity or something.”

“That would be nice,” I hedged. “But what do you think Ryland’s going to say about all this?”

“I don’t know.” She shrugged. “And honestly, I don’t care either.”

I stared at her, shocked by her bluntness.

“He isn’t the only one who lost them,” she ranted. “And everybody grieves differently. While he’s running around plotting revenge to get him through, I have nothing. And I want to do this. I want to remember the good parts of their lives.”

The passion and fire in her eyes as she spoke made the decision for me. I hadn’t seen Nicole look so determined the entire time I’d known her. And right now, this was exactly what she needed.

“Okay,” I agreed. “Then we’re really going to do this.”

“Yes.” She smiled. “Ryland doesn’t even have to know.”