After tossing and turning for half the night, I felt even worse than the day before. I was anxious to see Ryland, but I also wanted to check on Nicole before I left.

It was past eight already, and she was usually up by now. I chalked it up to her being exhausted from the stress. When I paused outside of her bedroom door, I thought about letting her sleep. But I was going to be at the hospital all day, so I decided to wake her up instead.

When I opened the door, any rational thoughts about what I should do fled.

Nicole was sprawled out across the floor, a half empty bottle of whiskey and a pill bottle lying beside her.

A wave of dizziness threatened to overtake me as I knelt down beside her. She was face down on the carpet, and I couldn’t tell if she was breathing.

“Nicole! Wake up!”

She didn’t respond to my voice.

I flopped her onto her back and checked her pulse. When it thumped against my fingers, I let out a huge breath. I pulled out my cell phone and fumbled with the buttons when she blinked open her eyes.

“Shwhat are you doooing?” she slurred.

I brushed the hair away from her face and gave her a reassuring smile. “I’m calling an ambulance.”

She batted the phone out of my hand with surprising speed as her eyes flared with panic. “No. No hospitals!”

She tried to sit up but ended up slumping back against the bed as she shook her head frantically.

“No hospitals!”

She was becoming hysterical, and I didn’t know what to do.

“Okay,” I relented. “No hospitals, Nicole. But I’m calling Matt.”

“Matt?” she blinked.

His name calmed her, so I repeated it again as I reached for my phone.

“Yes, see?” I showed her his contact. “Matt. I’m going to call him, okay?”

She nodded and wrapped her arms around her knees, looking very much like a small, fragile child. And I hated myself for not seeing it before. For not seeing how vulnerable she really was. I’d completely underestimated what she was capable of dealing with.

“It’s going to be okay,” I said again, edging towards her slowly as I dialed Matt’s number. “It’s all going to be okay.”

 

***

 

Matt’s pounding on the door sent Nicole into another bout of hysteria, and I cringed as I ran to open it.

“Where is she?” he asked, his eyes wild as he looked around the room.

“She’s in the bedroom.”

He tried to bolt to her, but I grabbed him by the arm.

“Matt, she’s… she’s seriously traumatized. I think she’s having some kind of breakdown, but she won’t go to the hospital.”

His shoulders fell, and he nodded as though he understood.

“It’s okay,” he explained. “I’ve seen her like this before. I know how to help her.”

“You do?” I felt like the world’s shittiest friend. How come he had all the answers, and I didn’t.

He strode to the room without answering and cradled Nicole against his chest. He rocked her in his arms, whispering soothing things into her ear while he rubbed her back.

The tension dissipated from her body, and suddenly I understood. It wasn’t about having the right answers. It was about being the right person. Nicole needed Matt because she loved him whether she wanted to admit it or not.

There was a hollow pain in my own chest at the sudden epiphany. Ryland needed comfort too whether he wanted to admit or not. His pain was four-fold what Nicole was going through, but he’d never let on to it. He’d never allowed himself to be vulnerable in front of me. He took his pain and twisted it into anger, and it was the only thing holding him together.

Would he ever accept my help, even if I were to offer it?

Matt understood my unspoken question as he looked into my eyes with a solemn expression.

“It isn’t your fault,” he said. “You can only help those who want to be helped, Brighton.”

A solitary tear slid down my cheek as I jerked my chin in agreement.

“You’ll take care of her?” I croaked.

“Always,” he replied.

 

***

 

The sound of Ryland’s angry voice carried down the hallway, and I ran towards his door with what little energy I had left.

Three nurses and a doctor surrounded his bed, threatening him with a needle as he tried to claw the blankets off.

“Ryland?”

My voice made him pause, and his face filled with relief as he sank back against the pillow.

“Brighton.”

He breathed my name as if it were the only thing in the world that mattered to him.

I drew towards him slowly and clasped his face in my hands, trying to smooth away the worry in his eyes.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

The doctor huffed and gave the nurses a curt nod as they backed away from him.

“He said he was coming to find you,” the doctor replied.

Ryland’s helpless expression dissipated as I stroked his hair and gave him a weak smile.

“I didn’t know where you were.” He tried to justify.

“He says he wants to be discharged,” the doctor spoke again. “Although I would highly recommend against it.”

“Ryland, you can’t.”

This had to be difficult for him, being out of control. I could see the same fear in his eyes he had whenever I was late, or he thought something had happened to me. What most people would say was completely irrational seemed like the most rational thing in the world to him. He’d lost everyone he’d ever loved.

“I’m not staying here,” he growled. “I fucking hate hospitals. And I can recover at home just as well.”

“They won’t let you go,” I argued. “You can’t just walk out of here.”

“Actually, he can.” The doctor sighed. “If he signs a waiver, unfortunately, there’s nothing else we can do to keep him.”

The doctor looked at me as though I had some sort of power to sway his decision. He obviously didn’t know Ryland Bennett.

“Stay a couple more days,” I pleaded. “I’m not going to leave your side, I promise.”

“No, Brighton. You weren’t here this morning.”

I ignored the harshness of his tone as I desperately sought a way to fix this.

“I’ll leave if you discharge yourself,” I threatened.

“No, you won’t.” He called my bluff.

The doctor looked at us like we were both crazy before shaking his head.

“What if he hired a nurse?” I asked.

“He really should be here, Miss. Valentine, it’s the best place for him.”

“I’m not staying,” Ryland grated.

The doctor sighed and gestured to one of the nurses as he walked out of the room. “Very well, Mr. Bennett. I’ll prepare to have you discharged from our care.”

 

***

 

“Where are you going?” I asked the nurse as she moved towards the front door.

“He told me I’m no longer needed.” She crossed her arms indignantly. “I don’t know why you even bothered wasting my time.”

I noticed the fat stack of cash in her hand and thought it couldn’t have inconvenienced her too much.

“Look, you can’t leave,” I begged.

“I’m sorry,” she said, “but he’s the patient, and he’s refusing my care. There’s nothing more I can do.”

I nearly toppled over from exhaustion as I stared at the list of everything I still had to do. Ryland needed groceries, and I still had to clean the kitchen since I hadn’t had the foresight to organize someone else.

The nurse clearly saw my frustration and took pity on me.

“I’ll tell you what you need to do,” she gentled her tone. “If that will help.”

“Please,” I encouraged, collapsing onto the barstool.

“You’ll need to change the bandages daily,” she explained, pulling supplies from her bag and setting them on the counter.

She demonstrated how to do it in slow and simple steps and explained what I needed to look out for as far as signs of infection went.

I felt better with the information, but my chest still tightened as she walked towards the door.

“Thank you,” I blurted.

She gave me a gentle smile and shook her head. “Don’t forget to take care of yourself too, Miss Valentine.”