I HAD TO stare at the wall, because if I looked at her, my next course of action was to find a knife and some duct tape. It had nothing to do with me having a problem with my own cum. Nope, I’m good with it. Other men are idiots when they are turned off by their own fluids, but expect their girl to kiss them after they’ve mouth-fucked her pussy; it’s really the same thing.
How-fucking-ever, she committed another infraction. Being spit on as if I was the goddamn dirt underneath her feet reminded me of what my shitty-ass father used to do to me all the goddamn time. It was not a memory I wanted to be reminded of. On top of that, I’d caught her in too many lies to name. I’d usually let someone escape with only one disrespectful action. Two is un-fucking-heard of.
Without looking at her, I headed inside the kitchen to get a paper towel. After wiping my face, I tossed it in the stainless steel trash can. Waiting, I tried to lower my heart rate and keep my thoughts from running toward more psychotic means of punishing her. I couldn’t stop looking at the butcher block. I leaned back on the counter, trying again to calm the fuck down.
I left the kitchen, walking toward her at a slow pace. Her hand, impaled with shards of glass, began to drip blood onto the floor. She dangled it to the side of her body like it was numb.
As she stood there, with a dagger-eyed stare, her whole body shook with fear—or maybe anger. I received my definite answer when her undamaged hand decided to make nice with the side of my face. And now I’m looking at the wall again.
While tasting the blood on my lip, I wondered if she wanted to die tonight, because she was off to a very good start.
Inching toward her, my hands ached to damage her with something she couldn’t easily recover from.
I sucked my bottom lip, tasting the metallic flavor of my blood. “You’re going to pay for that, baby.”
“I already am,” she croaked. Tears pooled in her eyes and the fear I saw earlier transformed into sadness. “Why don’t you believe me? I didn’t do this. You know I didn’t. You know I can’t be with anyone else but you. Preston…wouldn’t stop until I had an orgasm. I closed my eyes and pretended he was you to get it over with. It’s the only reason I was able to. Just because it wasn’t violent, it doesn’t mean he didn’t violate me. Why are you doing this? Why are you punishing me? Eric? I love you.”
My posture took a serious hit and that goddamn headache returned. Rubbing my temples, I stepped backward.
No. I wouldn’t let on that she was controlling my mood. I dropped my hands and lifted my eyes, giving her a look that said: “I could kill you in seconds and not give a shit.” She caught the meaning and started to shake a little more. “We were never real, Nikki. I give you this; you were just a hard one to crack. I’ve never had to work so fucking hard at manipulating a woman to be with me. Since you’re continuing to piss me off, let’s have some fun.”
Whatever it was that prevented me from damaging her had disappeared. My hand was on her throat, closing in until she couldn’t breathe. Her eyes widened in panic and she tried to fend me off and tore at the skin on my arms. I barely winced. I barely felt anything. I wanted her to know how far she’d pushed me. I wanted her to know that if I needed the capacity to kill her, I would. But what she didn’t need to be reminded of—at least not right now— is how I wouldn’t survive her death.
Her pupils dilated. Her pulse slowed. Her tear ducts expelled fluid. A subjunctive hemorrhage developed in her right eye. I took it all in, unable to hide my smirk. I inclined toward her and bit her bottom lip, tugging it between my teeth.
“What does it feel like?” I asked calmly, slightly impressed with her unwavering need to fight me. “I’ve always been curious. Does your life flash before your eyes? Are you remembering the good, or all the bad?” She convulsed against me, struggling with the lack of oxygen. I pulled back on my grip, preempting unconsciousness.
She sucked in air, gasping and choking on it.
“Nik?” I tightly compressed her chin between my fingers, forcing her to look up at me. “Remember who the fuck I am and what I can do to you. If you’re disappointed I didn’t make you bleed as much as I could have—” I took her damaged hand to my lips, kissing it gently. Sucking her blood from my bottom lip, I gave her a dour smile. Shortly after, I squeezed the shit out of it. She tried to move, but I pressed my body forward, preventing her from escaping. “Don’t worry, I have plans for you after the shit you pulled today. Should be fun. It includes supplies and a padded room.”
I released her, letting her fall to the floor. I didn’t give her a single hint of sympathy as she began to cry…again.
“You know the woman you caught me with the other night? You were right about everything. I told her things I never told you. Thing about it is…I know why I did it. I didn’t have to worry about her slitting her wrists if I gave her too much to handle. Maybe it was also the newness of her. You are getting a little tiring. I fucked her. Several times, in fact.”
Her bottom lip quivered as her eyes shifted down. “I won’t let you punish me anymore. You’re lying. I know what I assumed, but I know better.”
“How did you know I didn’t fuck her, Nik? Because I told you being without you would kill me? It’s simply pretty words. Words you swallow down like you’re taking cum straight from my cock. You can’t get enough of it, huh?”
Her eyes shot up at me as the tears streamed down her cheeks. “I spit it out, remember? I’m not swallowing down anything that comes out of you anymore.” She stood, grimacing as she did. “Every time you look at another woman, all you see is me, and because they aren’t me, you can’t fuck them. If anything ever happened to me, you would never be able to fuck another woman again. You wanted to ruin me? The joke is on you, Eric, because it went both ways.”
I stared at her coldly, never letting on that she hit me with the strength of a sledgehammer wielded by a cock diesel body builder with less than five-percent body fat. “How fucking cocky of you, Nik. Your pussy is great, but not that special. I think I’ve fucked you too much; it doesn’t hug my cock like it used to. But the woman you saw me with, it was like fucking a virgin again.” I grabbed her by the hair, making her gasp. “Don’t mistake me, Nik. I’m bored with you, but it doesn’t mean your body no longer belongs to me. I can fuck you anyhow and anywhere I want. Nothing is going to keep me away from you. Nothing. You can run along to Vic and have him instruct his lawyer to draw up all the paperwork you want. It won’t matter. You will die with my name attached to yours. You will always belong to me.”
She jerked and pulled away until she scratched my arms deep enough to draw blood.
I commended her fight and rewarded her by giving in and letting her go.
“No more. The games. The back and forth. I want you out of my life. Permanently. I have other things to think about.”
“Other things like what?” I curved a brow, stifling a laugh. “You have no one. I made sure I was the only one you had left.” I walked backward, heading toward the front door. “I have to get to work. When I return, wear something that makes me hard.”
Standing outside my car, closest to the driver’s side door, I couldn’t move for a minute. I threw my hands on the hood and tried to catch my breath. I didn’t feel what I should’ve felt. My cock didn’t throb. I wasn’t feeling anything I would usually feel. What I did feel was the shittiest emotion I’d ever experienced, and I hated it.