I grip my gift to Devon in my pocket. I’ve been carrying it around with me ever since I pulled it from where I found it. It’s time. I want her to have it. It’s been nearly three months since I slaughtered those men. Guilt should live inside my heart that I left a small girl with no one. But nothing exists inside my hollow chest but Devon. Always Devon.
Sniffing the cool air, I can’t help but notice that the weather doesn’t feel as cold. Spring will be here soon and will melt all this away. My darling girl will be in her element again in the river and hunting for berries. I can’t wait to see her wearing less clothes too. When at home, we remain naked. Our stove is warm and it keeps us cozy. But after seeing the fireplaces at the shack, my brain has been whirring with new plans for our home. I want to move the fence out on one side and extend it. And when I do, I want to build an actual fireplace with a chimney to keep her warm.
I pick up the two dead rabbits at my feet and head back to the cabin. Devon will like the size of these animals. She’s become obsessed with collecting their pelts. It’s fucking cute how she yells at me if I don’t skin them just right. God I love her.
“Honey, I’m home,” I playfully sing as I clomp through the front door.
She’s sitting cross-legged on our bed. Naked of course. Her long blonde hair is clean and brushed smooth. It hangs down in front of her small tits. A smile plays at her lips as she uses her mother’s old sewing kit to stitch together the animal pelts. The blanket is getting bigger each day when I bring home more rabbit.
She lifts her gaze to mine and flashes me one of her smiles that lights up the room. “That didn’t take long.”
“I was gone hours,” I say with a chuckle as I close the door and lock it. “You were just lost in your task.”
She yawns and moves the blanket and sewing supplies to the floor. I pull off my coat, my eyes never leaving her, as she stretches out on the bed. Her hair falls away from her breasts that are slightly swollen. I don’t miss the tiny pooch on her stomach. This time, instead of jumping to conclusions or freaking the hell out, I pray for a baby. I don’t deserve it but I want it anyway.
“You look tired,” I observe as I undress. There’s a shit ton to do but right now I just want to lie with my woman.
Her eyes are a soft blue as she regards me. Once I’m naked and stretched out beside her, she takes my hand. She guides it over to her stomach and rests it there. A serene smile plays at her lips.
“I think I’m pregnant.” She bites down on her bottom lip, worry flickering in her eyes. I was such an asshole last time I found out, I can understand her reaction.
“Really?” My grin is wide as I lean forward to kiss her mouth.
“Really.”
I devour her lips and kiss her hard hoping she’ll feel how happy I am about this. After the loss of Peach, I’ve never wanted anything more. This baby is ours and nobody will hurt it. That vow is one I can feel deep in my soul.
Pulling away from her, I war internally with whether she’ll like her gift. I kept it all these months for her. In the beginning, it was for other reasons. Now, it means something completely different.
That is, if she’ll accept it.
“Stand up,” I order.
She arches a blonde brow but obeys. My girl always fucking obeys because she trusts me completely. I reach into my jeans pocket and pull out my gift. Still on my knees, I take her hand and look up at her.
“Devon Abigail Jamison. I know you won’t have a normal life but I’m asking you to live this life with me. Forever. Just us and the lives we create. Be my wife, baby. Please.” Her eyes are wide and shimmering with tears. I kiss her belly when she nods. Then, I take her hand and hold up her mother’s wedding band. “She would have wanted you to have this one day. I know it. I don’t have anything to offer but this. If you’ll accept it.”
Tears snake down her cheeks and her hand shakes. “Of course I accept it, silly. I love you. We belong together.”
I pull her down into my lap and we kiss hard.
We kiss until the sun goes down.
And we kiss until it comes back up again.
We. Just. Kiss.
“Pepperoni pizza with mushrooms,” she says groaning. “That would taste much better than rabbit.”
She’s definitely pregnant. Two months ago when I asked her to be my wife, we’d assumed she was. But now there’s no denying it. Her tits are bigger and delicious as fuck. And, Jesus Christ, even her belly is a turn on. Small and round but most definitely carrying a child. She gets sick often and sleeps a lot but it all feels normal. The cravings though are hard. I hate denying her but I also don’t want to burn through our supplies in case of emergencies.
“How about green beans?” I ask as I saunter over to the crevasse.
She claps her hands. “Really? We can really have some?”
I nod as I fetch the can. She’s thrilled as hell over a can of green beans. It makes me feel guilty that I can’t give her all the foods she wants all of the time. But I do sneak her a can of something—either fruits or vegetables—at least once a day because I know she needs the extra nutrients and meat isn’t enough for our growing baby.
Once I cook the beans and offer her the entire pot to eat, she chirps happily about things she wants to make for the baby as she inhales the green beans. I don’t focus much on what she’s saying but how she’s saying it. Her eyes are lit up with joy. A permanent smile is affixed on her pretty face. She’s so fucking happy. I’ve never seen her this way. So free and in her element.
“You’re beautiful,” I blurt out, interrupting her.
Her cheeks burn pink. “Thank you.”
I reach forward in my chair and finger her long hair. “I mean it. I can’t stop looking at you.”
She laughs. “You’re not so bad to look at either.”
When she launches into how she wants to lug some boxes back from the trailer, I get lost in staring at her. My mind drifts off to when we were packing that trailer.
“I’m bringing this.” Sabrina drops a plastic tub in front of me. Her eyes are flickering with life for once.
“What’s in it?” I ask, frowning. We’re supposed to be bringing less junk and more supplies.
“Some memories of when the kids were small. Important papers. Stuff like that.”
I want to tell her no but she hasn’t asked to take anything. If this is important to her, we’ll make room. It can collect dust in the wilderness like it collects dust here.
“Okay,” I concede.
She leaves me and flits through our now nearly-empty house, back to bed no doubt. I’m loading the rest of the trailer tonight and we set out tomorrow. We didn’t pack any furniture. Our plan is to live in the RV until I get the big cabin built on the top of the mountain. Once it’s finished, I’ll take the RV and trailer back to town to buy furnishings.
I put the plastic tub in the trailer along with about fifty other tubs. After I lock it up for the night, I head back inside. I’m sweating like a motherfucker so I peel off my shirt and head for the shower. Soon, showers like we’re used to will be a thing of the past.
Music plays from Devon’s room so I sneak up to check on her. I lean against the door frame and watch her. Her room is now empty aside from her bed and dresser that we’ve sold with the house. She’s reading a survivalist book and twirling a lock of her blonde hair. I can’t help but smile.
“What are you doing?”
She sits up and tosses the book onto the bed. “Learning how to suture wounds and which plants are poisonous. Question is, what are you doing?” Her gaze skims over my bare chest and I instantly regret taking off my shirt. Things have been weird since a few weeks ago when I took her to dinner. I lost my head that night and I’m desperately trying to regain control.
“Packed up the last of the boxes in the trailer. Got anything else that needs to get packed?”
She smiles. “Just me. Don’t forget about me.”
“I could never forget about you.”
Both of us are silent for a moment.
“Dad…”
“Yeah?”
“I’m really excited about this.” Her brows furrow together as she climbs out of the bed. “You’re doing the right thing. For Mom. For us.”
I hate that my stupid eyes skim over her nipples that poke out of her silky night shirt. Gritting my teeth, I force my gaze up to meet hers. She hugs me and doesn’t even complain about my sweaty flesh.
“I love you,” she tells me, her hot breath tickling my chest.
I let out a deep breath and stroke her silky blonde hair before kissing the top of her head. “I love you too, Pip.”
“The wild. We’re really doing it.”
I hug her tighter. “We really are.”
“Reed!” Devon screams from inside the cabin.
I abandon the wood I’m chopping and run inside, Buddy right on my heels. When I burst in, expecting the worst, I find her standing naked on the bed with both palms on her big round belly. We’ve guessed her to be about five or six months but we’re not sure.
“Come feel,” she tells me, her face bright and excited.
I stalk over to her and place my hands on her hard flesh. I’m frowning when something inside of her bumps my hand. Our eyes meet and I swear my heart stops beating in my fucking chest.
“Was that the baby?”
“No, it was the alien that took over my body,” she teases.
I laugh but don’t take my hands from her. I want to feel it move again. “This is the most amazing thing I’ve ever felt.”
She stares at me thoughtfully. “Even more amazing than when you felt Drew and I in Mom’s belly?”
Her words, so sudden and confusing, startle me. I step away as if my hands have been burned. Running my fingers through my hair, I back away from her.
“What’s wrong?”
“I-I just remembered I never brought those boxes to you. I’ll go fetch them now.”
When she frowns and her lip wobbles, I stalk back over to her. I take her face in my hands and kiss the hell out of her. “I love you,” I assure her. “I love our baby too. That was amazing, Dev.”
Her smile is back but it doesn’t reach her eyes. I wave to her and bolt outside. The warmer temps have melted off a lot of the snow. I’m boiling from the inside out. I tug off my sweaty shirt and tuck it into the back of my jeans as I stride back toward the trailer. It takes three trips of carrying two tubs each trip before I decide that’s enough for the day. Devon is no longer sad as she excitedly points at where she wants them. I’ve been building her shelves and a cabinet to store things. We’re quickly outgrowing our small space. Now that the warmer temperatures are here, I’m going to start on the extension.
I grab the big bucket we use for water and set off toward the river. It’s the same trip I make at least once a day. I’ve worn a path down to the river banks. One day I’ll build a small pier out here so we can have picnics and enjoy the sun without having to stay in the dirt. I’m just headed back and step into the clearing of our house when I hear it.
A voice.
Deep and manly.
A predator.
A motherfucking rapist.
Slinging my water bucket down, I grab the handiest object I can find which is my knife on my belt. I’m ready to gut the fucker.
“Whoa, fella. Calm down.”
The voice is familiar. My eyes bore into the stranger. He pulls off a beanie and his obnoxiously long golden light brown hair tumbles out. Jade colored eyes pierce mine.
“Reed Jamison?”
I stiffen, searching for my long-slaughtered brain to slot the final piece into place. “Atticus Knox.”
He lets out a slow breath, nodding. “Almost didn’t recognize you there, man. The beard and shit.” His eyes remain fixated on the knife that I’ve yet to put back into its sheath. Despite knowing the guy, my hackles are raised. I trust no one. The only person I trust is my Devon.
He’s a bigger guy than me and that sets my teeth on edge. Back when I bought this land, we shared a few beers after the closing. Nice guy. Mid-thirties. Played football in college. Family owns more acreage in Alaska than all the other families combined.
But now…
He’s a threat.
They all are.
“I just came out to check on you now that the snow is melted off some. You never showed up in town. I was sure you’d be back for supplies or something. Had my friends at the hardware store and the grocery store keep an eye out. Worried about you guys all winter. When I pulled up and saw what happened, I just knew you guys had been killed. But then I hiked down to the gorge and evidence was all over someone had been here. I’m so glad you made it,” he says, his tone genuine.
Anger surges through me. “My wife was killed on impact.”
Sorrow flickers in his eyes. “I’m so sorry. Your daughter?”
I clutch my knife tighter. Jealousy and protectiveness explode inside of me. I don’t want him asking about her or saying her name. “She’s fine.”
He lets out a breath of relief and scratches at his scruffy jaw. “You okay, man?”
Gritting my teeth, I shake my head. “You lied. You said no people were here. People. Are. Here.”
He takes a step back. “Calm down now, Reed. That was something I came to warn you about. On my land we found at least fifty squatters this winter. Some are violent. They’re fucking inbred.” The word on his tongue has him making a sour face. “Did they hurt you?”
My jaw clenches. “They hurt her.”
Understanding dawns on him and his face crumples. Sadness plagues his features. So maybe he isn’t the enemy. “Fuck, man. How can I help?”
I swallow and shake my head. “I killed them. I fucking killed them.”
He nods in approval. “Nobody cares about them. You won’t go to prison.”
Like I give a shit about prison.
“What do you want?” I ask, my tone harsh.
He’s still staring at me as though I’m a wild bear that he needs to calm. “I just want to help you guys. Do you need any supplies? Medicine? Food?” His gaze flits to the cabin. “I see you were resourceful in making shelter.”
My thoughts flip to Devon. With her having a baby soon, we will need supplies. I can’t be stupid and run off my only tie to the outside world who can help us. Reluctantly, I nod. “Actually, we could use some things. You staying for supper?”
He smiles, his teeth perfect and white, unlike those fucking savages. “Of course.”