The beach house is quiet as I crack open the bedroom door. Tiptoeing down the hall, I step over several beer cans and pairs of high heel shoes strewn haphazardly across the floor. My eyes dart to the second door on the right, Jesse’s bedroom. The very bedroom he shared with Hoe Bag. The door’s still closed, and I wonder if his night was any better than mine.

I make my way across the dune. The sun has barely risen over the greyish water, and I wiggle my toes in the sand. It’s early, much too early to be up, especially after a late night, but I settle onto the blanket I snatched off the back of the sofa and stare into the murky water, it’s somber hue a reflection of my own mood.

How did everything get so off track? I wish more than ever I could rewind time and take back the decision to ask Jesse to kiss me, swallow the words back one by one. I imagine them slipping past my lips, smooth and uneven as they descend back into my belly, safely. Me. Kiss. You. Will.

Because after the kiss was when things started to change between us. We never fought about it, per se, or for that matter, even discussed it, but it was there, an undercurrent of unease that never existed before.

A shoulder nudges me, startling me from my thoughts. “Hey.” Jesse’s deep voice whispers across my neck as he leans down to sit next to me.

Goosebumps dance across my skin, and I tug my blue and white polka-dot sweater tighter. “Hey.”

A minute of silence passes between us, and though not unpleasant, I long for the easy comfort that we’ve always shared. I clear my throat before speaking. “Couldn’t sleep?”

He continues to stare into the horizon, but answers, “Something like that.”

The hand closest to me begins tracing an arc in the sand, small at first and gradually bigger. I watch his long, strong fingers for a moment, the pattern increasing until he taps my hand. Once. Twice. The third time he loops my fingers and squeezes. Without thought I squeeze back. The tension breaks. We’re back. Months of worry and confusion wiped away. Reset. Thank God.

Turning to face one another, we both say “I’m sorry” at the same time. Jesse’s huge grin matches my own, and we fall back into the sand, laughing, staring up into the morning sky.

“You first,” I say.

“I don’t know.” He shrugs his shoulders. “Is it okay if we don’t talk about it?”

My eyes widen in question, but I say, “Yeah.”

“I guess”—he closes his eyes—“it’s hard seeing you with someone else. I’ve never had to share you before.”

“I get it.” I brush my fingers across the sand. “I feel the same way.”

He sits up, peers at me. “You do?”

“Yeah.” I dip my head, embarrassed. “Let’s forget the whole thing ever happened and spend time together before we both leave for college.”

“I’d like that,” Jesse agrees.

“Just us.” I motion between him and I. “No Tod. No Heather.”

He smiles. “I’d like that even more.”

We’re both quiet for several minutes, enjoying the return of the comfortable ease that was missing between us for far too long.

Finally, Jesse speaks. “So, how was it?” Of course he’s referring to my plan to lose my virginity on prom night. We’d never discussed it, but somehow he knew. Hell, I think everyone did. Giving it up after prom is like a rite of passage.

I roll to face him. “Wouldn’t know. Tod passed out.”

Jesse’s eyes widen.

I roll my eyes. “I know. Can you believe he’d rather drink than get with all this?” I drag my finger up and down my torso in the most obnoxious way.

He shakes his head solemnly. “No. No, I can’t.”

I laugh. “His loss.”

Jesse’s quiet again, but then says, “I didn’t hook up with Heather.”

I bite back my first thought: Why didn’t you? But instead say, “Let me guess, she passed out, too?”

He shakes his head. “Nah. Just wasn’t feeling it.”

So many thoughts run through my mind, but before I can voice any of them, he says, “What do you say? Wanna ditch the crew and spend the day together?”

He doesn’t know how wonderful that suggestion sounds, but I’m guessing by the way my eyes light up he might. “Absolutely.”

He props himself to stand and then reaches down for my wrist. “Come on, we better make a run for it before anyone else gets up and catches us.”

Not even a minute later we’re headed west, away from the coast. No destination in mind. Just Jesse, me, and the open road.

And I couldn’t be happier.