I’m in Lily’s room, more than half naked when my mom calls. Normally, I’d kick the call to voicemail and call her back later on once I’m in my own dorm, but the timing of the call is off. It’s after 10:00 p.m., only two hours into my mom’s shift at the hospital, a time she wouldn’t typically be calling to chat.

“Hello?” I say, voice hoarse because Lily doesn’t stop smoothing her hand over my cock.

“Jesse.” My mom’s voice sounds different, more cautious. “Where are you?”

“I’m…” I grab Lily’s hand with my own and begin to sit up, but still she doesn’t stop. She dips her head and begins licking a path down my stomach. “What’s wrong?” I breathe, squeezing my eyes shut because fuck, what Lily’s doing feels good.

“I’m calling about Gram.” I suck in a breath as she says, “She had another stroke.”

Fisting Lily’s hair in my hand, I hold her head still as she tries to kiss her way farther down my abdomen. When she persists, I push her off me and stand up. “When?” I clutch the phone tighter as I search the floor for my sweatpants.

“An hour ago.” My mom’s voice breaks on a sob. “The doctors aren’t giving her much time.”

“I’ll be there as soon as I can,” I say, as I push my feet into my sneakers.

“Jes.” My mom’s voice carries through the phone. “Do you have someone to drive you? I don’t want you driving this late while you’re upset.”

“Mom—” I start to argue, but she cuts me off.

“Please, Jesse. I don’t want to have to worry about you on top of everything else.”

My eyes dart to Lily and I nod my head. “Yeah, I have someone who can drive me.”

* * *

My grandmother’s house is one of two houses on Brubaker Lane. It’s a dirt road that sees few cars and even fewer pedestrians. As a kid I loved coming to visit her because I could ride my bike without having to worry about traffic or people. It was like I owned the road, like it was my own private kingdom. I’ve never been more grateful for the peacefulness, the desolateness of her neighborhood than I am today.

We’ve walked more than a mile down the road before Riley speaks. “I went to the clinic.”

“Yeah?” I question, my heart filling with gratitude because she knows exactly what I need right now: a distraction.

“Uh-huh.” She kicks a small rock farther down the road. “Yeah, everything came back…okay.”

Thank God.

We continue walking, and when she comes across the same stone as before, she kicks it again. “Thank God.” She mirrors my thoughts. “I also got a script for birth control—I never want to go through that again.”

“That’s good, Ry.”

We walk another few feet and she says, “You know, you were pretty mean to Lily back there.”

I grunt. I know I wasn’t nice, but I’m not at my best right now. I just lost my only grandparent. My head is so fucked up. “I’ll apologize.”

Riley stops in front of me and takes my hands. “Lily will understand. You’re hurting right now. You’re not thinking straight. Your gram was…”

“I loved her so much.” My voice breaks and I dip my head, embarrassed by the tears forming in my eyes.

“I know.” Riley wraps me in her arms. “It’s okay to cry, Jes. It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to miss her.”

I bury my head in the crook of Riley’s neck and let her hold me. No words are exchanged. Just her simply being here with me is all I need, and for once, I’m grateful that we didn’t complicate our friendship with sex or other intense feelings, because nothing is more comforting than her love for me right now. If we had crossed the line—a line we’ve been tiptoeing around for years—I might not have this. Her. Here with me now.

We stay like that until the air cools and the wind whips across our skin.

“We should head back,” I suggest, because it seems like the right thing to say, and I probably should apologize to Lily before it gets too late.

“You okay?” Riley angles her face toward me as she cradles my cheek with her palm.

I close my eyes and relish in her comfort for a moment longer. “I will be.”

She releases her hand, and I immediately interlace my fingers with hers. “Ry?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for coming.”

“There’s no place in the world I’d rather be.”

And the absolute best part is I know she fucking means it.