Riley’s auburn hair fans across the pillow as I lay her down on the bed. Dipping my head close, I inhale the citrus scent of her shampoo that I’ve grown to love because it reminds me of waking up next to her. Fuck, I’m going to miss it. Going to miss her. I already called my dad, made the arrangements to start full-time in his mechanic shop. I leave tomorrow.

Riley has no idea. I thought it’d be easier this way—for both of us—because if she begged me with those emerald green eyes to stay, I’d never have the courage to walk away.

My head is so fucked up. My heart wants to spend every possible second with her, but my mind tells me to push her further away to make tomorrow less painful. But all the alcohol in the world couldn’t numb my feelings for her. Couldn’t take the pain away.

Her hand reaches up to cup my face, her fingers drag across the stubble of my jaw. “You need to shave.” She smiles in the darkness.

“I know,” I say, as I scrape my face against her palm. I bring my eyes back to hers. “I love you, Riley.”

Her warm breath whispers across my face. “I love you, too.”

“I want to give you everything.” My voice is tight as I struggle to keep my emotions under control.

She places her hand over my heart. “You already have.”

My eyes feel suspiciously wet, and I absolutely won’t allow myself to cry right now, so I kiss her instead. My lips press against hers, soft and warm. I kiss her with everything I have, everything I am, everything I feel inside.

My movements are slow, unhurried, and if I could, I’d stop time and live this moment forever.

“Jesse.” She sighs my name as my hands skim underneath her shirt, over the soft, smooth skin of her stomach.

“You’re perfect, Riley,” I whisper as I kiss her ear, down her jaw, over her long, graceful neck. “You’ve always been perfect.” My hands crawl upward, reach the underside of her breasts, and skim back and forth. She gasps in pleasure.

“Jesse.” Her hands pull me closer but she doesn’t rush or hurry. It’s as if she knows this is our last time.

“Want. You. Naked.” I punctuate each word with a kiss. “I need to see you.” And it’s true. I need to see her one last time so I can memorize every inch, every detail, every curve, every freckle, every scar.

She pushes me back, sits up and reaches for the hem of her shirt. Her eyes never leave mine as she drops it from the edge of the bed. Next, she shimmies her pants and panties down in one fluid movement. My eyes draw over her body, starting at the dip in her collarbone, over her full, round breasts, down her smooth, flat belly, to her center, where’s she’s shaved bare. Fuck me.

“Your turn,” she whispers, but I’m too awestruck to move. She reaches for my t-shirt and pulls it overhead, and somehow my arms follow. “These, too.” Her fingers tug the waistband of my gym shorts.

When we’re both naked, I settle over her. I don’t move at first, just feel her soft skin pressed against my own, lighting me on fire. My dick twitches against her and she mewls in delight.

“I want to feel you.” She breathes against my ear as her fingers knead my ass.

I rub my dick against her, coat myself in her slickness. A ripple of pleasure rolls through me, and I groan into her hair. “Christ, Ry. You feel amazing.”

I nuzzle her neck, shifting my hips again, and this time my tip hits her clit. “Fuck, Jesse.” Her voice breaks.

I continue to slide against her, over and over, until I’m sure we’re both about to come. My hands and mouth are everywhere—from her breasts, to her neck, to her thighs. I can’t get enough, have come to the realization that no amount of time will ever be enough.

“Please.” She pulls my mouth away from her breasts. “No more.”

Smiling, I kiss her again before sliding down her body. I bury my face between her legs and lick a slow line from top to bottom.

“Fuck,” she curses, fingers spearing my hair. “I’m gonna come. I’m so close.”

“Baby,” I whisper between licks before adding my fingers, one to start, then two. I pump my fingers slowly, lazily, a direct contrast to the way my tongue works her clit.

We don’t speak after that. Just feel. Deft fingers tease and play. Pinch and twist, and finally, finally slide all the way inside her, stretching her open in the most glorious of ways. Moments later, without warning, she shatters. Her fingers grab my head so hard it’s a wonder she doesn’t tear my hair out.

Before she’s even had a chance to come down, I slide inside her. A long, deep thrust that buries me to the hilt. I remain still, and take a deep, calming breath as she pulses around me.

“Riley.” Her name falls from my lips, and along with it, other words that I can’t seem to stop. “You’re my everything. I love you so much. I don’t want to lose you. Please. I need you.” I continue to pump my hips, letting all the pent-up emotion overtake me. “I need you.”

“Hey.” She pushes me back gently. I roll to the side and cover my face, embarrassed by the sheen of my eyes and the shitload of emotion I just dumped on her. “Everything’s going to be okay.”

I nod, unable to meet her eyes, but she grabs my face and forces me to look at her. “Everything’s going to be fine,” she repeats, eyes wide and honest and so damn hopeful that I nearly break down and tell her everything.

She nudges me backward until I’m lying flat on my back, and she straddles my hips. “Now, tell me what you need tonight.”

“Anything.” I groan as she grips me at the base and begins to ease down onto me. “I want anything you’ll give me.”

“Everything,” she whispers, bringing her lips to meet mine. “You can have everything.”

She rides me slowly, so slowly that I can feel every gentle tug, every smooth glide as I sink back in. This isn’t fucking or even making love. This is her giving herself to me: heart, body and soul.

I take it all, memorize every single moment, knowing this is the last time I’ll ever be inside her, the last time I’ll watch the flush creep across her chest, or her eyes flutter closed, or her lips part in pleasure.

I sit up, wrap my arms around her and pull her close, burying my face in her hair. My hips slam up to meet hers, and she groans long and low in my ear. “Jesse.” Her fingers pierce my hair.

Knowing she’s close, I drop my hand between us, drag my fingers across her clit. Her body tenses immediately, and she begins rocking faster.

“Jesse.” She moans my name again. “God, just like that.”

I don’t stop, wanting to give her every pleasure imaginable, wanting her to always remember this moment, wanting her to remember me. And only when she finds her release, when her muscles stiffen and her toes curl, when she turns her head and bites my shoulder, her body clamping around my cock like a goddamn vise, do I follow her over the edge, emptying inside her, allowing her body to milk me in the absolute best possible way. “Riley.”

We stay like that—connected—for a long time. I kiss her eyelids, her cheeks, her nose, her clavicle, the dip between her breasts. I want her to know she’s precious. Special. Loved.

And only when she yawns and wiggles against my hips and says she’s tired, do I let her move. But I hold her all night, pressing my heart to hers. I hope one day she’ll be able to understand and to forgive, but mostly I’m hoping she’ll always know how much I love her and how much I always will.