Chapter 18
Thomas
I tossed and turned all that night with the thought of her secret on my mind. I let a woman around my child who wasn’t even the person she said she was. How the fuck could I have been so reckless? How in the world did Bridget, or Kimberly, or whoever the fuck, think that something like this was okay?
Running my hands over my face, I sat up in bed. A hot shower would do me some good before I had to be back at her house, and I honestly wasn’t sure if I should go to work. Maybe I could call off and take a day to think about what the fuck had just happened, but then another part of me was calling myself an idiot. Why the fuck should I care? I was just her bodyguard who she was taking for a spin. She met my daughter once because she wanted to, and I was in control of whenever they saw each other. I just wouldn’t bring her around anymore, and that would be that.
Bosses met the children of their employees all the time, so that was what it was. My boss meeting my child and nothing more.
But I was pissed she lied to me. I mean, this wasn’t just a little white lie, nor was it a credible threat. This wasn’t some woman who was faking her age or running from gambling debts. She was a young woman who pulled a desperate move with her agent to get into the spotlight, and now, I was following her around like a lost little puppy because she couldn’t cope with the guilt that came with her decision.
It was some petty bullshit, and I didn’t know if I wanted to be around it.
So, what did I call her now? Kimberly? That was her name, according to her. But how the hell did I know that was not just another lie? I groaned in the shower while the cold water flowed over my body. I shivered myself awake, hoping my reserve energy stores would kick in, but the moment I heard Lacey stir from her bed, I shut the water off.
Honestly, it didn't matter if I was upset. It’s not like we were in some kind of relationship with one another. We were just fucking around a bit and having some fun. Now that I knew there was no credible threat to her, I could relax on my job a bit, and this could easily turn out to be the easiest and most lucrative job I’d ever taken. I’d be an idiot not to keep it, especially since the schedule allowed me to take Lacey to school and pick her up.
I dropped Lacey off at school with a kiss and a massive hug, and I told her I would definitely be there to pick her up today. I apologized for not being there yesterday, and a flood of guilt washed over my body at how happy she was that I would come get her. I had prioritized my own selfish needs and pawned my daughter off on my mother, and that shit was never happening again. The hold Bridget had over me was done. No more flirting around, and definitely, no more screwing around.
This ended now, and our relationship went back to a professional one.
I got to Bridget’s house, and I could feel my hands gripping the steering wheel. I still had no idea why I was reacting this way, but when I got into the house, the smell of it threw me back to last night. Sex still hung heavily in the air, and I could smell she hadn’t showered yet. She was waiting for me at the kitchen table with a pot of coffee sitting right where I’d usually put it, and as I rounded the corner, she looked up at me with big, tired eyes.
“Morning,” she said. She pushed a mug full of coffee toward the seat I usually take, so I sat down and took the mug and brought it to my lips.
“Hey there,” I said.
“Are you all right?” she asked.
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Because of last night and what I told you.”
I held her gaze for what seemed like hours before I set my mug down. She was ready to start this day off with a bang, and I wasn’t sure if I could give her all the reactions she wanted. I knew she wanted me to smile, draw her close, and tell her it was all right. I knew she wanted to hear from me that I understood and wasn’t angry and that things were just fine between us. Maybe she wanted to take me upstairs and have makeup sex or suck my dick as an apology, but I couldn’t give her any of those things.
I couldn't tell her I wasn’t angry because I was. I couldn't tell her things were all right because they weren’t. I couldn’t hold her close and tell her she was fine because she wasn’t. Not with me.
And I had no fucking idea why I gave so much of a shit.
“Well, I’m all right,” I said, lying. At this point, I had no issues with lying to her. She’d fucking pretended to be a totally different person with me. Not divulging how I actually felt was a drop in the ocean she had already created between us.
And then, the selfish actress rose back up to the surface.
“Please promise me you won’t tell anyone,” she said.
“I promise,” I said, nodding. “No one will hear it from me.”
She looked pleased enough, so she choked down the rest of her coffee before she brushed by me. She reached out her hand to put it on my shoulder, but I moved away from her grasp before I even knew I’d make that move. In that very moment, I’d given away the lie I’d just told her, and a sad sigh left her lips before she headed for the staircase.
I was a lot angrier than I originally thought I was, and part of me wondered if I should look for a different job.
When she came down the stairs, I heard Bernie pull up into the driveway. She opened the door without waiting for me and got into the car before I had a chance to open her door. Something had fundamentally shifted between the two of us, and I knew it the moment she sat on the other side of the car. Usually she sat beside me, or on the other side of the same seat, but today, she sat herself on the opposite end of the car altogether and closed her eyes.
I studied her as she fell asleep on our way to the set. I saw the bags underneath her eyes and how puffy and red they were. I saw the few marks I’d left on her neck from last night and how she curled herself up into a ball on the seat. I saw how she gripped her clothes tight around her, like she was trying to physically put a barrier between herself and the secret that plagued her daily thoughts.
The guilt was eating her alive, and I didn’t know if I could stick around and watch.
When we got to set, I shook her awake, and her eyes flew open and connected with mine. They were wide with terror for a split second before she backed away from my touch altogether. She got out of the car before I did and didn’t wait for me to open the set door for her. By the time I was out of the car and sending Bernie off, she was already inside. Even though she’d hired me as her bodyguard for peace of mind, she was trying to put as much distance between us as she could.
And it broke a part of me I didn’t understand.
I watched her shoot her scenes all day, and I couldn’t help but wonder at all the other things she might be hiding. Maybe she had a child somewhere she didn’t want to surface to the media, or a secret husband she kept locked in a lair. Maybe the “Kimberly Moore” story was a cover for a much more sinister secret that put my life and the life of my daughter in danger.
Maybe she had witnessed a murder and was in witness protection or had pertinent information on a group she’d sold her soul to just to get ahead in her career.
I knew I sounded insane, but my mind was whirling at a thousand miles a second. I couldn’t deny that there was an innate trust required between the two of us to bring this woman around my daughter, especially if the paparazzi associated her with us. Right now, I was just her faceless bodyguard, but if they ever caught wind that she was hanging out with my daughter, we would be bombarded by the same cameras I tried to mask Bridget from.
Kimberly. I meant Kimberly.
Right? Or did she still want me to call her Bridget?
Fuck this bullshit. I needed a new job. Now, I didn’t even know what to call my boss. The illusion she had created for me, and sucked my entire body into, had been shattered the moment she told me she was someone else, and I was beginning to realize that maybe I couldn’t really cope with that.
“And, that’s a wrap!” the director called out. “Great job today, guys. Really great job. Go home and get some rest, and I’ll see you guys in the morning.”
I stepped out of the shadows to wait for her gaze to search for me. I watched her chat with her co-stars before she turned her back to me. Then she started off for hair and makeup without once looking around to see if I was there.
That was the moment I realized something had fundamentally shifted for her as well. I needed some time to think.