Five

Trey

I knew Jasper would show up. I’ve been watching the two of them for weeks, wondering if what Winnie feels for him is stronger than her feelings for me. I’ve seen little nudges and comfortable laughs that seemed to be lifting her carefully constructed walls. She doesn’t let anyone in, but if he keeps it up, it will only be a matter of time until Winnie falls for Jasper. I’ll lose her, and that realization stings almost as bad as seeing her in this hospital bed.

I’ve always known Winnie is special. Night after night, I doubt that I can ever be good enough for her. Each time I came close to telling her how I felt, I would tell myself to do the right thing and let her go. But the thought of being with anyone else makes me want to kick holes in the wall.

Right or wrong, acceptable or damning, Winnie already belongs to me. She knows it. I know it, and soon, the rest of the world will know it, too. Once I say the words, Jasper will be removed from the equation because she’d never jump into his arms the way she leaps into mine. They don’t share a history as deep as ours.

Jasper wouldn’t take a bullet for her. He wouldn’t spend his nights following her around and go without sleep to make sure every person who came in and out of her trailer left her alone. He’s never even been on the other side of the front door. But I know where she’s slept, how little she eats, what she does at school, and how she’s cried herself to sleep at night. Winnie thinks she is all alone. She feels like nobody cares. But I would give my life for hers.

Winnie’s soul captured me long before her looks. The years separating us mean nothing to me. Because, when I lock eyes with this beautiful girl, all I see is passion, fire, and fury. What we have isn’t toxic. I’m not some grown-ass man preying on someone half his age. I’m in love. I care. Maybe I care too much. But I won’t apologize for it.

“You can relax,” I tell Jasper. “She’s gonna be fine.”

Jasper swallows and then wipes his forehead with the back of his hand. “I thought she was dead. There was so much blood, and I couldn’t get close to her.”

I was with her, but I didn’t stick around to watch the pool of blood grow. For that reason alone, Jasper’s a better man at seventeen than I’ll ever be. But my life is complicated, and Winnie understands that I have reasons for everything I do. When she wakes up, she’ll take another blow. But it won’t be forever.

“Can I…can I talk to her for a minute?” he asks in a voice that’s a couple of octaves higher than it was a minute ago.

He’s intimidated by me, as he should be, but he loves Winnie, and that’s one thing I really can’t fault him for. She’s easy to love.

“Go ahead,” I tell him. “Say what you need to say.” I’m not leaving. Not yet.

Jasper takes a step closer to Winnie’s bed and then another. He clears his throat. I wait for him to speak.

He’s staring at Winnie when I ask, “What’d you tell them?”

He glances at me and then back to Winnie. “The nurses?” he asks.

“Yeah.” I need to know what he said in case they stop me when I leave. If our stories don’t match, they’ll know one of us is lying.

“I told them I was her brother. I-I didn’t know what else to do. They weren’t going to let me in.” He sits next to Winnie and inches his hand closer to hers.

He lied, same as I did. Maybe I haven’t given Jasper enough credit.

“I get it,” I tell him.

And then I turn and look out the window. Because seeing him sitting next to Winnie, holding her hand the same way I was, eats me alive.

“Winnie,” he whispers, “I’m sorry. I should have followed you. If you’d just waited for me, we could have gone to The Whip together. It would be me in this bed. Not you.”

I’m not sure how much Winnie can hear or if she can hear us at all, but I watch the monitors, waiting for her numbers to spike. They stay even, but when I glance at their joined hands, one of her fingers moves the slightest bit. Winnie knows Jasper’s here, and it hurts like hell that I didn’t get a reaction like that while I was holding her.

Jasper notices the movement, too, and leans forward to kiss her forehead. “I’m here, Winnie. I won’t leave this hospital until you’re walking out beside me.”

His words tighten my chest. So does the reality that she might be in love with Jasper.

I can’t make the kind of promises he’s making. Winnie’s recovery will take time—weeks, maybe even months—and I’ll be lucky to stay another hour. I’ve already been here too long. If the boss tracks me, I’ll never see Winnie again. He doesn’t like distractions and always takes the important things first. That’s why, if I’m going to keep Winnie safe, I’ll need Jasper’s help.

“Jasper, come here a minute.”

He’s reluctant to let go of Winnie’s hand, but he gently lays it flat on her stomach and stands. “I’m not leaving yet, Trey. I want to be here when she wakes up.”

“I’m not asking you to leave. Just listen to me for a minute,” I tell him.

“I’m listening,” he says.

God, he reminds me a lot of myself when I was his age—persistent as hell and determined. That’s exactly who I need him to be right now.

“We need to strike a deal, Jasper.”

“What do you mean?” he asks. “I told you, I’m not leaving Winnie.”

He stands a little taller, and his fists clench at his sides. I get it. Even though I don’t want to accept the fact that he gives a shit about Winnie, I understand the fight inside him. I’ve been feeling the same thing for months.

“Keep your voice down,” I tell him. “If you get thrown out, this won’t work.”

“What won’t work?”

“I want you to stay in this hospital, and I don’t want you to leave for anyone or anything. No matter who tries to force you out, you say whatever you need to say to stay.”

His eyes narrow, and he crosses his arms over his chest. I almost laugh.

“What’s your angle, Trey?”

“No angle.”

I always have an agenda, but today, I can’t be bothered with schemes and ploys. Because, once I walk out of here, Jasper’s my only remaining link to Winnie. After I’m gone, I’ll need Jasper to trust me enough to feed me information.

“Then, what do you want from me? Besides staying.”

“Give me your phone.”

He digs it out of his back pocket and hands it to me. I swipe across the screen and roll my eyes when I see it’s password protected.

“Password?”

He blinks, and his face turns bright red.

“Winnie?” I ask.

“Yeah,” he says and then quickly shifts his eyes to the floor.

I type her name in, smirking the whole time. “That’s a little bit pathetic. You know that, right?”

“I didn’t ask for your opinion, Trey.”

Once my name and number are in his Contacts, I call myself so that I have his. Before I hand it back, I give him the only warning he’ll get. “When I call, you’ll answer. And, when I text, you’ll respond immediately. Those are my conditions.”

“Conditions for what?”

“For letting you stay with her. I need someone I can rely on. Right now, that’s you.”

“And if I don’t do it?”

My knuckles ache, and my joints burn. Jasper could use a warning about what’d happen if he tried to cross me, but punching him would only get us both kicked out. Instead, I take a deep breath and remind myself to stay cool for Winnie.

“You’ll do it because it’s what’s best for Winnie. You want her safe, don’t you?”

“Yes,” he whispers.

“Good.”

I walk back to the bed and stroke my finger down the side of Winnie’s cheek. Her skin is still so pale, and when I reach for her hand, I watch her fingers. They don’t move like they did when Jasper was holding her. The heart monitor stays at an even seventy-eight beats per minute, and her chest rises and falls in the same steady rhythm.

“I’ll see you when you get out of here, Winn. Wherever you end up, I promise I’ll find you.” Without another glance at Jasper, I leave the room, hating that I’m stuck working in a job that could get me killed before I see her again. Hating that I can’t sit next to her bed until she wakes up. Hating myself. Hating Jasper. Hating my life.

And then I do something I’ve never done before. I pray. I pray that, while I’m gone, Winnie doesn’t hate me for leaving.