Brad
I’m watching Scott and Kayla discuss the gossip column and all the trouble it’s causing us. It’s maybe the fifth time they go through it all. I’m starting to get sick of the whole ordeal.
I want it over. Now. I want to get back to my life, and I want to see where this thing with Kayla could go, without all this added drama.
Truthfully, I’m feeling bad: bad for Scott, bad for Kayla, and bad for myself. I’m imagining all the crazy things this blogger’s story can say if we don’t stop the madness.
Whoever it is, and whatever information she (or he) has, I know they won’t stop at the truth. Soon enough, the lies will start, and we’ll be accused of things—truly crazy things. Bat-shit crazy things.
Then it hits me.
Before I know it, I’m formulating a plan in my head that can possibly save the day.
God damn, I’m fucking brilliant.
“…that’s why Brad’s got his assistant out there trying to find out who is responsible. She’s tracking down sources, reaching out to the bloggers. Brad said she is putting on some serious heat, but I don’t—”
“I got it,” I say, interrupting Scott. “I fucking got it.”
“Got what, Brad?” Kayla asks.
“I have a plan. One that should work. I mean, it works all the time. Why not work for us, right?”
“What’s the plan?” Scott asks.
I smile, beaming and nearly laughing. “You’ve all heard of fake news, right?”
Kayla gives a nod and Scott says, “Of course.”
“Well, what if we start leaking a ton of fake gossip? Some really crazy shit and some really weird shit. Like crazy, impossible-to-believe, fucked-up shit.”
Scott’s nodding now. He smiles and adds, “We flood the blogs with all sorts of news. These articles, whatever they keep on saying, will be lost in a sea of other gossip items.”
“People wouldn’t care. There would be so much fake shit out there that they would not know what is real or fake.”
“And they would stop caring…” Kayla sees it too now. “Brilliant.”
“Exactly!” I cheer. “Think about it. When you are on Facebook and click one of those links—the ones that say ‘15 reasons to and 10 reasons not to….blah, blah, blah’—what do you do when you are on the third item and an advertisement pops up and interrupts you?”
“I ‘x’ out. I hate that!” Kayla says, grumbling.
“Me too.” Grinning ear to ear, I keep on, “I hate it, so I just quit and move to another post.”
“Brad, you might have just saved all our careers. I see this as working, I really do. And I can think of a few crazy things to put out there that will make people realize this is all just…”
“Whacky shit.”
“Yeah. Whacky shit.”
“I can write up maybe….forty or fifty items. But how do we distribute them?” Kayla asks.
“Emails. All we need are some fake Gmail accounts to go with our fake gossip stories.”
Scott pulls out his phone, waving it in the air. “I’ll start making email accounts.”
Kayla rises from her chair and bounces up and down—a show, I, for one, am glad I do not miss. “I’ll get my laptop and start writing blind times and fake stories.”
“Great,” I say, whispering to myself. “Damn, you look hot.”
As she’s dashing out of the room, she yells back, “This could be fun.”
“Hey, Kayla, write a story about me being abducted by aliens.”
“And make sure you note how he was anally probed.” Scott’s laughing before he can finish the joke. “And loved it.”
I run my fingers through my hair and then pick up my drink. After a sip, I reply. “Takes one to know one, Scott.”
“Alien?”
“Um, no,” I say, sneering. “Someone who loves being anally probed.”
“Epic comeback, Brad. You’re stepping up your game.”
“Thanks.”
I text Shauna, wanting updates. She replies that she has none. Following up, I simply dial her number and call her.
I explain to her the whole plan, and she just listens to it.
“Brad,” she finally says when I’m done. “I have a list of all the blogs I was searching and looking into. These are the blogs you need to send your fake gossip to. These are the ones people visit the most.”
“Excellent. Great work.”
“I must say I’m proud of you, Brad. This is a great plan,” Shauna says over the phone.
“Thanks. Sometimes I surprise even myself.”
“Like I say all the time, all you need, Brad, is the right inspiration. And Kayla is just that.”
Looking at Kayla, the smile on her face as she’s typing away, I cannot disagree with Shauna.
She’s right.