Carly
It’s getting harder to concentrate at work. And not just because of what’s going on in my personal life. I’m stressed about the alleged sex tape and whether it will leak or not. The sex I had with Kevin and Scott last night – as amazing as it was – just reminded me how much trouble we are in if that sex tape surfaces. Being the secretary that sleeps with the owner of the company, as the anonymous tip suggests, is a serious scandal. Even just the rumor can be damaging to my image if it comes down to getting another job.
Yeah, if that tape becomes a real thing, I’m screwed. I’ll be a Stanford graduate condemned to be the secretary of sleazy perverted men for the rest of my life. And that’d be if we were only talking about a normal sex tape.
But a threesome? On tape?
That can ruin all of us.
Kevin and Scott will lose the company, their positions, which is a hell of a lot worse than me just losing my silly little PA job, but it will still hurt me. It will put a nasty dent in my reputation and then no one will take me serious again. I will become a walking piece of ass.
I shake my head, trying to calm my thoughts. I can’t think about it like that. I must stay positive. Maybe it’s all just a threat and it will amount to nothing.
God, I hope that it is the case. With the camera being found, though, the chances are getting slimmer and slimmer. I can’t believe Emma would do something like this to me. She’s ruining my life. Who the hell did that to her sister? No matter what I’m doing in my personal life, whether she agrees or not, doing something like this is taking revenge - or whatever her issue is – to a whole new level.
It’s even worse because of how close we’ve always been. If we always fought, if my relationship with Emma wasn’t as good as it is, or used to be, it might have been a different story. It would still have been terrible but not as terrible as it is now. Emma and I stuck together since the day our father left and our mother had to plan to make ends meet. She worked so hard to make sure there was cash for us to be able to still lead a normal life that we barely saw her.
In losing our dad, we lost our mom, too. Emma and I were all we had and we stuck together through thick and thin. For her to just throw that away right now doesn’t make sense. It hurts a hell of a lot, in fact. And talking to her about it seems impossible, too. It doesn’t seem to me like she’s willing to listen, at all.
Lately, she’s been getting angry and storming away from every conversation I want to have with her. She’s stormed off twice in the club when we saw Kevin and Scott. Whatever her issue is with me seeing them, she doesn’t even speak to me about it.
She just tries to make my life hell. And she’s succeeding.
I drop my head in my hands and sigh. I must talk to her about it. I can’t just sit here and wait for the other shoe to drop. If this tape is real and she decides to come out with it we are all royally fucked. And I will lose my sister for good. If all of it can be prevented, I must try.
During my lunch hour, I walk to the parking lot and sit in my car. I dial Emma’s number and breathe slowly in and out, waiting for her to answer. My stomach tightens and in a knot of nerves. I never used to feel this horrible about talking to her.
The phone rolls over to voicemail and I get the monotone voice Emma used to record her message. I hang up and dial again. I don’t want to talk to a damn machine, I want to talk to my sister.
I get her voicemail a second time. When I try to phone her a third time, the phone goes straight to voicemail. Emma turned off her phone.
Getting her voicemail can mean that she is too busy to answer, but switching her phone off is a very clear message. She doesn’t want to speak to me.
I feel betrayed. If this comes out, my reputation will be ruined. I will either not be hired at all, or hired because they think I will fuck them, too. Scott will lose his job, his income. Kevin will lose his whole company. The damage will be so great it will be impossible to fix it, and Emma is willing to do this to us.
I sigh and bite back tears that suddenly sting my eyes. I squeeze my eyes shut and tears roll down my cheeks. What the hell am I going to do about this?
When I’m done crying in the car, I check my face in the mirror. I fix the bit of makeup that’s smudged, reapply lipstick so that I look fresh, and get out of the car. I walk back to my desk. My lunch hour is over and I haven’t eaten at all. I can’t eat when I feel this horrible. It feels like everything is falling apart.
The problems at work are so hard, and at the same time the sex with Kevin and Scott is so good, the contrast gets to me. The good is amazing and the bad is terrible and I’m stuck in the middle, pulled apart by the two opposites and I have no idea what to do.
Stop fucking Kevin and Scott. Easy, right? But I don’t want to. Lose my job? I don’t have a choice.
When I get to my desk, I notice that Kevin’s blinds are drawn. The last time that’s happened, Scott and I were in there with him and he got handsy with me, turning me on, giving me a taste of what a threesome with him and Scott would be like.
Now, I know he isn’t thinking about our sex at all, except in terms of saving our skins. He’s probably talking to the investors again.
Scott walks to my desk. He looks good all dressed up – dark suit pants and a crisp white shirt. He doesn’t wear a tie, often has the top button undone and on a hot day his sleeves are rolled up, but today he looks neat and put together.
He looks at me, eyes searching my face.
“Are you doing okay?” he asks.
I shake my head. I’m not t even going to try lie about it.
“I’m not okay,” I say. The tears threaten to make a reappearance and I fight not to cry. I don’t want to cry in the office where everyone can see me, or in front of Scott.
“I don’t know how to deal with this. I feel like it’s all my fault.”
Scott shakes his head. “Don’t do this to yourself. It’s not your fault. Just because it’s your sister doesn’t make it your fault. You can’t be held responsible for someone else’s actions.”
I nod. “I see what you’re saying. But we did this, Scott. If we don’t do…” I swallow, not wanting to say the words out loud in the office. “Then there wouldn’t have been anything to record.”
I glance around the office, hoping no one heard me. Dana sits at her desk not far from me but she’s buried in paperwork and doesn’t even glance up when I speak.
“So, you have a personal life. So, you do things that other people might not do. So, what? Just because your sister is making life hell for you doesn’t mean it’s wrong what you’re doing. We don’t even have a rule about fraternizing with colleagues at this company. It’s just because the investors are so damn anal…” Scott smirks when he says the word. I can’t help but smile.
“That’s better,” he says. “I love it when you smile.”
I chuckle. He’s making me feel better. Smiling and laughing is good. But that doesn’t change the facts. We are still in this mess. My smile slips away again and I sigh.
“I wish I can just think about something else,” I say. “I just want to forget about it for a moment and have a chance to breathe again.”
Scott smirks. “Do you want me do distract you?”
I glance up at him. “We can’t…”
He shakes his head, still smirking. “I don’t mean like that, although having you right now will be the best thing I can think of.”
“Stop it!” I say, my voice low.
Scott laughs. “I’m just going to distract you, give you something else to think about.”
I chuckle, feeling silly. “Yeah, okay,” I say.
Scott leans forward, lowering his voice. “I really loved fucking you last night.”
My cheeks turn scarlet immediately.
“Your ass is delicious, baby. I love pushing my dick into it.”
“God, Scott, stop!” I say. I’m blushing like mad and I can’t stop myself from grinning.
He shrugs. “I don’t want to stop. You’re so fucking hot, kitten, and delicious. Whether I’m sucking on you or fucking you, your mouth, your pussy, your ass…”
“Scott,” I say feeling so shy I don’t know what to do with myself. My body is responding to what he’s saying, too, the familiar twinge happening between my legs. His words are making me wet.
“God, the things I will do to you right now if I can,” Scott says. “But even kissing will be plenty.” His eyes slide to my lips when he says it and I suddenly wish he can do it, too.
“You shouldn’t do this,” I say.
Scott grins at me, a lopsided grin that makes me feel unbalanced. It’s an open smile, so different from the dirty grins that he gives me so often.
“I have to get back to my office,” he says. “We’ll just have to continue this later.” He leans into me. “My dirty girl,” he says in a low voice. He winks at me and turns away, whistling like he doesn’t have a care in the world.
Scott is a great guy. And it isn’t just what he does to me in bed that makes me feel that way. He’s a good person, someone that genuinely cares for me, not just my body. Yes, sexual innuendo is a big part of his way of speaking to me, but when he grins at me like he just did before walking away, I see a side of Scott that is raw and natural, different than what he becomes when he flirts. It makes me want to get to know him more. I want to know who Scott is. I’m starting to care for him.
I glance at the office, at Kevin’s drawn blinds. What did that say to me about him? Am I falling for Scott? I don’t have a clear-cut answer to that, but I know right away that my feeling something for Scott don’t mean I’m forgetting about Kevin. He is a great guy, too, in different ways. Control, responsible, he’s a lot less reckless than Scott but the stability grounds me in the same way that Scott’s wild side sets me free. Between the two of them I feel completely balanced. Do I have feelings for Kevin?
I can’t say no but I’m hesitant to say yes. Who am I falling for? Am I falling for either of them or is it just that the sex is so good I can’t think straight?
Or is it possible that maybe, just maybe, I’m starting to develop feelings for both of them?
I don’t know if that is possible. I don’t know if that’s fair. What if it comes between their friendship? What if I am the one that pulls apart two friends that are so tight sometimes I feel like they think the same thing?
I shake my head. What did Scott say? I can’t be held responsible for someone else’s actions. But this isn’t the same. This is about the three of us and what happens every time we get naked together, and I’m not thinking about what happens with my body.
Somewhere through all of this, I’m falling in love with them.