Carly
I don’t know what to expect at work the next morning. Kevin and I had fucked, and it hadn’t been the plan at all. It hadn’t been what was supposed to happen. Hell, it was the opposite of what he’d asked me to do when he explained to me how difficult the investors are.
I shouldn’t have slept with him. I should have said no to that date altogether. Because that is what it ended up being. A date. When he’d asked me out for drinks, I agreed right away because working with him has been good–he treats me like I have a brain and know how to use it, and he is so fucking hot, it’s to die for.
And now? Now, I am terrified I’m going to get fired.
I’d never asked Dana why the previous personal assistant had been fired. What if the same thing happened, and they’d become so sour with each other that everyone assumed they just didn’t along? What if he’d booted her out the door the moment they’d fucked?
God, I can’t think like this. I am driving myself crazy, and I haven’t even gotten into the office yet.
I put on a black, wide-legged pair of pants that was high-waisted and wore a tuck-in cream blouse with it. I tie my hair back in a messy bun and put on makeup. Dressing up always makes me feel invincible, and I still want him to see me as someone he will want to be with. Thinking like that is wrong, but that is how I feel, and I can’t help it.
Even now, when I’m sober, I get butterflies when I think about it. I get wet when I picture him naked and fucking me.
I can’t put off leaving for so long that I end up late for work. So, when I am ready, I make my way to the office. When I walk through the door, my stomach is a tight knot, but I climb the stairs to Kevin’s floor.
It is my fourth day on the job, and I’ve already slept with my boss. What does that say?
That he is hot, and I want him, for sure. What else?
I’m not sure.
When I arrive, Kevin is in his office on the phone. I put my bag on my desk and go through the envelopes and files that have been delivered with the first mail run. I glance at Kevin a few times. He sits behind his desk, the phone pressed against his ear, and he doesn’t look up at me once.
I try not to read anything into it, but I’m nervous that he is angry with me.
I pull out my phone and check my messages. There are two from Emma. My sister had tried to get a hold of me last night–I hadn’t even checked.
I dial her number and press the phone against my ear.
“Where were you last night?” she asks.
“I was working,” I lie. It comes so easily–the lie–it almost scares me.
“I tried calling you at nine. I was at your apartment. You were working that late?”
I shrug, even though she can’t see me. “It’s a new job. I expect the first month to be chaotic. You know how it goes.”
Emma doesn’t know how it goes with a new job. She’s been in the same job since she graduated from college. My little sister is the stable type, the type that doesn’t take risks, doesn’t want adventure, and does what she says she’ll do, even if she hates it. At twenty-seven, she is as stable as a forty-year old. I am twenty-nine, and I’ve been through a few jobs already, and I’m still not sure where I belong in life. Sure, I graduated late, and then I failed at getting the job of my dreams. And sure, I’m just a secretary…but I’m ambitious. That’s something my sister can’t understand, no matter how hard I try.
“I want to see you,” Emma says.
“How about lunch today?” I ask. “I’m off for an hour at two.”
We agree on a café between our two jobs, and I hang up. When I glance at Kevin again, he isn’t on the phone anymore. He stares at me through the glass, and it’s disconcerting.
A moment later, he beckons me to come to the office. I swallow hard and get up. I know he is watching me all the way to his door and then to his desk once I shut us in, and I have no idea what he is thinking. He wears a poker face that tells me nothing at all.
“You sit down, Carly,” he says when I remain standing.
I do as he asks and take a deep breath, trying to blow it out without a shudder.
“I want to talk to you about last night,” he says.
I nod. Here it comes, I think. This is where he is going to fire me.
“That can never happen again,” he says.
I nod again, slower.
He sighs. “The investors are really a pain in my ass. If something like this comes out…”
I start talking, but my voice croaks and I have to clear my throat before I can say more.
“I’m sorry,” I finally manage. “I don’t usually do this kind of thing. I don’t know what came over me.”
Kevin shakes his head. “You sound like you’re blaming yourself. Don’t. It took both of us, and if I have to be honest about it, I loved it.”
I blink at him. “You did?”
He grins at me, the first sign of emotion, and it is positive.
“I did,” he says again. “You’re something else, Carly.”
I can’t help but smile. My cheeks heat up, and I am blushing again. Dammit.
Kevin chuckles. It makes me feel like an idiot for still responding like a teenager when a man compliments me. Especially considering how he’d seen me last night–drunk and willing to lose absolute control.
“You were worried,” he says. A statement, not a question.
“I was scared you might fire me for it.”
Kevin shakes his head, swiveling from side to side in his chair. “I can’t fire you for something I’m equally guilty of, and I don’t want to fire you at all. To tell you the truth, I want to do it all again.”
He looks at me with sincere blue eyes, not blinking or flinching once. I fail at hiding the surprise on my face.
“How do you feel about it?” he asks.
I look down at my hands.
“I want to do it again, too,” I say. I have to tell him the truth. It is pointless lying to him about it after we’ve already done it and he has made it so clear that we can’t do it again.
“Well, now,” Kevin says with a grin, his tone teasing. “We seem to have a problem then, you and I. So much good sex to be had, and so many reasons not to have it.”
I look over my shoulder when he speaks about the sex so openly. If someone hears it, I have no idea what kind of trouble I’ll get into.
“Don’t worry,” he says, knowing what I am thinking. “No one can hear us talking through the glass. It’s sound proof. I made sure of it.”
I wonder why he would do that, but I let it slide.
“Can I ask you something personal?” Kevin asks.
The moment he does, I am on my guard and curious, all at the same time.
“Yeah?”
He looks at his desk, thinking about his words before he speaks them. “What do you think about Scott?”
The question catches me completely off guard. I open my mouth, not knowing what I’m going to say, and I end up not saying anything.
“You can be honest about it. I’m just asking. There’s no wrong answer.”
I think about it, and I have no idea about what to say. I’ve noticed that Scott’s eyes linger on my body, and the way his lips curl into a smile whenever I face him…he’s just like Kevin. How does that make me feel? Hell if I know.
But doesn’t even matter? It’s not like I’ve been introduced to the man.
“I don’t know,” I say. Kevin’s face is surprised. “I guess it depends.”
“On?” Kevin asks, and there’s a flame in his eyes. Is he hinting at what I’m thinking? I mean, what the hell are we even talking about?
Because if he’s asking me if I feel attracted to Scott…well, that’s an easy answer. Besides, I know the two of them are friends. Best friends, or so Dana tells me. Does that mean Kevin is proposing a…? Oh, God, I can’t even say it.
I smile. The idea turns me on. And my boss proposing it? God.
“Depends on how much you think you can handle,” I tell him, the words leaving my lips before I can restrain myself.
His eyes widen a little before he laughs.
“Sassy,” he says. “I like it.”
A knock on the door interrupts our light banter and flirting. Kevin’s smile grows a little, and he waves someone in. I turn and watch a man open the door and close it behind him.
“Carly, this is Scott Collins,” Kevin says. “He works in HR.”
Scott smiles at me. He has dark brown hair that flops into his face, giving him a boyish charm, and an easy smile. His eyes are greener than I’ve ever seen on anyone, and his arms and chest are almost more muscular than Kevin’s.
“He left out the best part,” Scott says. “We’re also really good friends. Kevin aspires to be like me.”
Kevin laughs, and that just confirms what Dana told me. Jesus, was Kevin serious when he started to talk about Scott? Does it want to pass me around, share me, or what…? It can’t be. If I get to have sex with two men that are as good looking as these two, I will have died and gone to heaven.
“I have to talk to Kevin about something,” Scott says. “If you don’t mind.”
I shake my head and glance at Kevin. He looks at me with eyes that are full of something I don’t understand. I turn and leave the office.
I meet Emma for lunch at Birchwood Café. She is already there, her dark hair piled onto her hair in a bun. She wears a dress suit that looks a little big on her.
“Have you lost weight?” I ask when she gets up to hug me.
“God, I wish,” she says. “I think I gained.”
We have the same hair and eyes, but that is as far as the resemblance goes. Emma is a little bigger built than I am, with a rounder face and a thicker way of walking. She has always resented my weight and my looks, and there is nothing I can do about it.
“How’s Ron?” I ask.
Emma shrugs. “He’s okay. He’s at a conference in Chicago.”
I nod. Ron and Emma have been dating for two years. She will probably marry him, knowing her.
“That’s good,” I say.
“Are you ever going to settle down?” Emma asks.
I sigh. “Can we get through lunch without you sounding like mom?”
Emma chuckles. “Yeah, okay,” she says. Emma has always been my best friend. We’ve had our hiccups. We are very different from each other, but I tell her everything.
“Actually, I met someone,” I say.
Emma’s eyes sparkle. “Who is he?”
I shrug with one shoulder. “It’s not serious or anything. We slept together, but that doesn’t mean anything.”
“Who?” Emma asks again. “Is that where you were last night?”
I nod, smiling.
“Well, it’s my boss,” I say. Emma’s face falls so I push on. “And before you say something about it, I know that it was wrong, and I’m not going to do anything stupid.”
I know it isn’t true as I say the words. I will probably do something stupid. Very stupid, if Kevin is involved.
“You can’t do that, Carly,” Emma says.
A waiter appears.
“Can you give us a minute?” I ask.
The guy disappears.
“What if you lose your job?” Emma asked. “You just started there. If you get fired over something like this, you won’t be getting another one so easily, and I can’t take care of you. You know Mom will turn you down.”
I shake my head, pressing my finger against my temples. “Emma, stop. I’m not losing my job, okay? I spoke to him, and we’re fine. I’m fine.”
Emma shakes her head back and forth.
“I can’t believe this. You’re just fucking up your life. A girl like you should be an executive or something. Not a secretary that’s fucking her boss.”
I frown at her, suddenly angry. “I’m not fucking up my life. I have a job, I’m paying for myself. And I won’t be a secretary forever. What and who I do besides that has got nothing to do with it.”
“You won’t be a secretary forever?” She asks me, one eyebrow cocked.
“No, I won’t,” I reply sternly. “Wanna bet?”
“I do,” she tells me in the same tone, and then we shake hands. Just like that, it’s on. And I’m going to prove her what I’m made of.
Emma is still shaking her head, though. “If this comes out…”
“It won’t,” I say. “I told you. We spoke about what happened, and it’s fine. Just drop it now. I regret telling you. I wanted to share it with you, but you’re being such a drip.”
“You’re being irresponsible. Why am I the only sibling acting like an adult?”
I take a deep breath and count to ten before responding. I am about ready to strangle my sister.
“You know what, Em?” I say, making up my mind. “I don’t need this shit. My lunch hour is short enough as it is, and I don’t need you lecturing me on how to live my life when I’ve been doing perfectly fine for the last six years.”
I get up, grabbing my bag. We haven’t even ordered.
“Where are you going?” she asks.
“Back to work. I have a job to do. I’m responsible that way.”
I turn around and storm away, leaving her to eat lunch all by herself.