Tali drove the truck around a bend in the road and onto Matty’s road. Her stomach dropped. She was back home at last, and had been looking forward to throwing herself into bed and maybe taking something to help her zonk the hell out and forget about everything that had happened.

Falling into a frigid, icy lake in the Alaskan winter should have been the most distressing thing that happened all day. And yet, she hadn’t thought about it in over an hour. From the moment Hudson had left in a rush, his heated kiss had been the only thing she could think about. That and how wrong, and terrible, and evil she’d been for buckling under it, for wanting more, for only just managing to put an end to it before she fell over the edge.

She wanted to swallow more Ambien than the bottle suggested and dive under her blankets in a pitch-black room. That was all she wanted right now.

But it wasn’t possible.

Cole’s truck was parked outside. Tali let out a tiny groan and frowned. She thought he was supposed to be in Nome, waiting to take some oil workers to wherever their rig was. He wasn’t supposed to be back yet.

Tali got out of the truck shakily and headed for the front door. She could hear muffled voices from inside, and as she opened it she could hear Ella shouting, “Die, you scum! Just die!”

For a moment, she smiled. Cole and Ella were sitting in front of the TV, each with a video game controller. She saw half the screen go red, and then Cole threw himself over onto his back, grumbling, “Damn you, you precocious demon child.”

He heard Tali come in and sat up, turning around with a smile. “There she is.”

“Hey, Tali,” Ella said, nodding at her briefly, attention still mostly focused on the screen that was showing stats from their last game. “Cole brought pizza. We saved you some.”

She took off her coat and could see Cole’s expression fade into a slight frown. Her face felt hot, her palms sweaty.

God, she probably had Hudson’s scent all over her. Cole’s senses were incredible. They often played games where he tried to figure out every ingredient she’d put into what she’d cooked.

And even if they weren’t…. she was definitely wearing his clothes, sweatpants she had to roll down four times at the waist to keep them from trailing, and that billowing flannel he’d put on her.

“Awesome,” Tali said. “I’m starving.”

She wasn’t. She felt like one bite would make her throw up.

“You do a solo round, kiddo,” she heard Cole say as she made her way into the kitchen, throat dry. “I’m gonna go catch up with Tali for a minute.”

“Ha. Right. Catch up. Is that what the twenty-somethings are calling it these days?” Ella snarked.

Tali didn’t hold the door for him, though he wasn’t far behind. She immediately headed over to the counter and started pouring herself a glass of water, feeling sick with guilt.

“Tali,” he said. “Hey.”

“Hi,” she said, sipping her water and watching him. He didn’t look angry, but he was frowning, his dark eyes pooling with confusion, concern, and hurt.

“Tali, what’s going on?” he said quietly.

“I…nothing. You’re back early,” she said, trying to smile, unsure whether she’d been successful. “Thought you had to be in Nome until—”

“You’ve been gone for hours. I tried to call, but I didn’t get any answer. I checked with Mabel, thought maybe you’d gone into work, but she said you weren’t there. And now you’re back. Wearing his clothes. Smelling just like him.” His voice went low. “Should I be worried?”

“No,” she stammered. “Not...um…”

“Tali.” Those eyes never left hers. “Is your heart still in this?”

His words were a knife in her chest.

His lack of anger destroyed her. He wasn’t furious, yelling, or accusatory. He just looked lost, scared, and hurt. She surged forward, clutching his forearms in her hands.

“Cole, I’m so sorry,” she breathed. “I-I was— I was out ice-fishing with him and Ella. But…but then Ella wanted to leave to go to her friend’s, and I left too, right after her. But I went the wrong way, and I fell through the ice and...I was soaked, and freezing. So yes... I did go to Hudson’s and—”

“What?” Cole gasped, eyes going wide. “You fell through the ice? Shit, were you out on the lake by his place? Fuck, Tali, that water’s deep. Are you okay?” He took her hands in his, kissing them with soft, warm lips that she adored.

“Yeah,” she said, tearing up at his love and kindness, the instant switch in his voice. “I’m fine. It was…it wasn’t good. I went all the way under. I...got stuck under it for a bit and couldn’t find the hole I came through, but then I did. It was so cold. But Hudson was able to pull me out and, and I got warm again...”

“Thank God,” he said, pulling her close into a bone-crushing hug, kissing the top of her head. “You’re a goddamn disaster, woman. You know that right?”

She laughed a little, in spite of herself. “Yeah. I would be pretty happy to buck this near-death encounter trend at any time.” She sniffed.

“You best get on that,” he said, kissing her, fast and fierce. “I need you, Tali.”

Her chest ached, and she pulled him in for another hug, her cheek pressed against the solid warmth of his chest. She could feel his heart pumping. “I know,” she said. “I need you too.”

And she did. She really did.

He held her tight, and she knew the shock of hearing what happened to her had jarred him away from any thoughts of jealousy or suspicion. Maybe she ought to feel relieved, but all she could feel was crushing guilt.