17 – Back to the Present

They were back in the forest, exactly where they’d left from, but now they were standing, as they had been in the house he’d been born in. The beast was alert and on all fours, and Leilani was clinging to his neck.

Jaggar and the beast needed a moment to get their bearings and recover from the pain of time travel, but Leilani needed no moment. She moved until she was in front of him, facing him, but did not let him go once. She blinked and rubbed the beast’s ears, making the big animal shudder. Silver light spilled from her vacant eyes. The beast drank it in, thinking one word clearly. Beautiful. Jaggar had to agree.

His beautiful mate moved her face right up next to the beast’s, until their noses were almost touching. “You know I can’t see, right?” she said. “I’m blind.” Her tone was matter of fact and a little sad. Emotional pain filled Jaggar. She closed her eyes, cutting off the silver light.

The beast unfurled his tongue from his mouth and licked her up one side of her face, up over her cheek and her eye, then he licked the other. Ew, beast, gross, Jaggar told him, knowing she would hate it.

The beast spoke to Jaggar, that halting, crunching voice that turned his insides. Couldn’t help it.

Leilani giggled, cutting off Jaggar’s frantic ruhi. The beast licked her entire face again. She smiled when he was done, and Jaggar’s heart stopped in his chest. The beast chuffed.

“Can you talk to me?” Leilani said.

Just like that, the beast stepped aside, handing over control to Jaggar. Jaggar shifted before the beast could change his mind, a lurching, painful shift, but he managed it. He stood tall, his full height that towered over Leilani and she lost her hold on his ears, breaking the contact between them. “Oh,” she said, and she took a step backwards. The expression on her face changed, loosening, slackening and she looked away, toward the right. Her eyes opened and the silver light spilled out again, building in intensity.

Jaggar squinted in the fall of that light, bracing himself against the pain that fell in on top of him, never breaking him, only molding him, strengthening him. His mantra started in the back of his mind, while he gave his attention to Leilani. Take me to church, take me to church. He kept it light. When it was light, it didn’t take away all of his pain, but he stayed anchored in the present.

He stood before Leilani naked, reaching out for her. “I’m here,” he said. She raised her hand and he caught it. A pleasant rippling sensation filled him when she touched him, layering on top of his pain, lowering the intensity of it somewhat. He blinked in surprise and felt around for the pulling, ripping sensation that he’d borne as long as he could remember. That sensation that his body was trying to split him down the middle, it was still there, but it was soothed.

Jaggar had a little extra space to think, a little more mental power with which to appreciate his mate. He’d spent so much energy over his life trying to package that pain, keep it manageable, now that it was lessened, it left him more staggered than he wanted to admit.

Leilani stepped in close to him and put her free hand on his chest. She gasped to find bare skin there, but didn’t pull her hand away.

He felt eyes on them. The KSRT, maybe patrol. This was between him and Leilani and he wanted no one watching.

He growled into the night air and sent one thought to anyone in the vicinity. Stay back. Leave us be. Then he cut off his ability to receive and turned to his mate.

His mate. He was touching his mate. She was touching him. He kept himself under control and moved his free hand to her shoulder. “Will you come with me? I need clothes.”

She nodded. Her eyes were closed again and he wished they weren’t. He wanted to see them, silver or not.

He pulled her down the path, leading her right to the newest cabin at VF, as Rogue liked to call it and the others had started to call it, also. Village Fucktastic. His mind did not dare to think that he and Leilani could be a part of the “village,” but if that happened, they would not live at VF. Leilani would not be a part of a place that was labeled so crudely. She was too special for that, too innocent and fragile. She was a lady and he would see that she was treated like one.

He growled into the night as they made their way to the cabin, just in case anyone within earshot might be thinking that Leilani wasn’t special, wasn’t deserving of special treatment.

“Are we in danger?” Leilani asked, her voice soft, her hand gripping his. She crowded as close to him as possible. He put one arm around her and pulled her in close, tucking her into his side. She fit perfectly.

“No, and if we were, I would protect you.”

She nodded. “I know you would,” but her voice held a tightness that hadn’t been there a moment before.

He pulled her up the small porch at the front of the cabin and then they were inside. Jaggar left the lights off. Leilani wouldn’t care and Jaggar didn’t need them. His night vision was excellent. “We’re in a cabin,” he said, “One of the ones in the back.”

“The back?”

“The back of… of Trevor and Ella’s place.” He would not call it VF to her.

“Oh,” Leilani said, but she looked lost.

He steered her toward the couch. “I need to get clothes on. Can you sit here and wait for me?”

She trembled and squeezed his hand. “I want to come with you.”

He barely stopped himself from hitting himself on the forehead. Of course she would be scared and nervous and not want to be left alone. He was an idiot and he needed to take better care of her, be more thoughtful about what she was going through.

“Come,” he said, pulling her down the hallway. He found a dresser in the first room he came to, filled with many sizes of KSRT uniforms, all big. He found his size and pulled out a set, putting it on top of the dresser.

Leilani held his hand in both of hers, looking like she’d rather die than let go. Jaggar shook out a shirt with one hand and tried to pull it over his head. He got his neck hole situated, then one arm in. The cabin was completely silent.

Gently, Jaggar took one of Leilani’s hands in his free hand. “I need that arm for just a sec,” he said. “I’ll give it right back, I promise.”

She half-smiled and his throat tightened. He was falling in love with her, head over heels in love with her, and he didn’t know her at all, had barely spoken to her, and he loved her anyway. It was going to hurt so bad if she decided she didn’t want him, if she really wanted Harlan-. But no, Eventine was here. Harlan would never, ever take another if he could have Eventine. Harlan had fallen for Evie just as hard and fast as Jaggar was falling for Leilani, and Harlan hadn’t even recognized Eventine as his mate at first.

Jaggar recognized Leilani as his mate, and the thought scared him to his core. She was so perfect, so delicate, so innocent, so fresh and lovely, and he wanted to lock her up in a castle with everything she ever needed and cut her wildflowers every day. He wanted to draw her bubble baths and wash her hair and rub her shoulders. Take care of her.

Leilani let go of his one hand, keeping tight hold of his other one, and he pushed the first in his sleeve. Now to get his pants on one-handed, somehow. He managed it, even buttoning the fly with one hand. He needed socks and boots, but he needed something else first, he had to know.

“Eventine,” he said, not even sure how to ask the question.

Leilani nodded, her face soft and a little scared. “She was in the meadow. She’s ok now. I-we went back in time and we got her body and they were able to counteract the poison.”

Jaggar shook his head, trying to get a handle on that. “But how?” he said. “We couldn’t touch anyone where we just were.”

Leilani opened her eyes and silver light flooded the room, showing all the corners. “It was different before.” Her eyes fluttered, softly shining light spilling down her cheeks. She held both his hands and faced him.

He stood as still as possible and looked down at her. She was so lovely, her hair long and dark and curling past her shoulders, her eyes exotic and mysterious. She looked pale and too thin, too, but he knew why.

That place.

He’d known she was his mate at first sight, and the realization had floored him, almost devastating him, because he’d never been with a woman. He’d never trusted himself to be with a woman, and so how could he possibly trust himself to be with this woman? He loved her on sight, but she was so thin, almost frail-looking at times.

She clutched at him. “I’m breaking the rules.”

“What rules?” he asked, keeping his voice as soft as hers, like there was some sort of a spell keeping them together, and if they made too much noise, they would break it and lose whatever was building between them.

She touched her head, letting go of him with only one hand. “I… I don’t know. I almost know. I should know.” She loosened her hold on his hand. “Maybe if I…” She let go of him completely and took a step away from him. Jaggar barely stopped himself from grabbing at her. Her face went slack and wondering, the silver in her eyes building to a blinding intensity.

He did grab for her then. She sighed when he touched her, a sigh of deep relaxation, and her expression changed again. “It’s better when you touch me,” she said.

“I’ll touch you forever,” he responded, before he could think about the words. He would. Gladly.

She smiled and stepped back close to him, so close her bare feet were between his bare feet. She looked up at him, her expression unreadable. She wants you to kiss her.

Jaggar denied the voice, not believing it, and the moment broke. Leilani put one hand on his chest and ran it upwards toward his neck. “Can I touch you?” she asked him again.

“Touch me anywhere,” he rasped, giving her permission for… whatever she wanted. But her trembling fingers reached his face, he grabbed her hands and held them close to his chest, his mind racing. Just because she couldn’t see it, didn’t mean he could hide it from her. She had to know. “I have a-a line running down my face and my body. I look different. I’m divided.”

“I’ve seen it,” she said. “From the meadow.” Her voice held no hint of the contempt many had held for him over the years.

“Explain this meadow,” he said. “What happened to your eyes?”

She put a hand to her head again, then pulled her other hand away from him and put it on her head also, breaking that touch between them. “The catamount says you are dangerous.”

Jaggar made a noise deep in his throat, like a growl, and he cut it off quickly, not wanting to scare his mate. But he didn’t like the sound of that.

The room lit with silver light.

“I want to know you,” she said again and the light flared uncontrollably. He was blinded by it. Pain crushed him, but still he grabbed toward Leilani.

She was traveling.

Just in time, he caught her.

She yanked him, and back in time they went.