Chapter Twenty-Three
Jordan had offered to take a cab to the hospital and pay back the money later, but Noah was having none of that. Therefore, at 2:57 in the morning, he, Noah, and Lucy were in a car speeding down the highway. Noah wasn’t talking or listening to music, he was solely focused on getting them from point A to point B as quickly and safely as possible.
In the backseat, Lucy was resting her forehead against the window with her eyes closed. Jordan felt terrible about waking her up, but to her credit, she hadn’t complained or made any kind of fuss. The moment her dad explained that there was an emergency and they needed to take Jordan to the hospital, Lucy was completely onboard. The two of them seemed wholly focused on remaining calm. They were his rocks, and Jordan was immensely grateful, because he was totally freaking out.
His brain kept throwing memories of his uncle at him from all different directions. Some of them were recent, like when he first confessed his feelings for Noah to him on Christmas day, and some of them were vague and fuzzy patches of childhood that he remembered, but wasn’t sure actually happened; him sitting up in a crib waiting to be fed, falling off of a chair and having to go get stitches, laying on the couch and pretending to be asleep so that he could stay out in the living room and watch TV late into the night after his uncle fell asleep.
Growing up, Uncle Kenny had always made time for him. Despite his seemingly endless work schedule, Jordan couldn’t think of a single school event his uncle hadn’t made it to. There were a couple of times when he would have to be a few minutes late or leave early to pick up a shift, but every time without fail Kenny would put in the effort. He’d show up to every performance, donate to every food drive, support his nephew’s choices and congratulate him on all of his achievements, even if he didn’t have the time or the money to celebrate them.
He thought of how patient and encouraging his uncle had always been with him. How he hadn’t batted an eyelash at the idea of him dating a man. How he’d stepped up and raised him even though he didn’t really have the means or the desire to be a parent. The fact that he loved him unconditionally no matter what.
Jordan looked up and caught a glimpse of Lucy in the rear view mirror. She was still glued to the window, but now she had her eyes open, trying to read passing signs and studying the people in the cars they passed.
He tried to remember what it was like being her age and his brain, for some reason, took him back to his ninth birthday. Jordan had been spending less time than usual with his uncle that year. Kenny had been taking up extra shifts like crazy and spending most of his free time out in the garage, especially at night after Jordan had gone to bed. Jordan was old enough to understand, at that point, that money was tight. So, he really didn’t think anything of it. For his birthdays, he had learned not to expect much more than a meal at a restaurant of his choice, as well as that location’s complimentary birthday treat. It was enough for him honestly. He was happy to have just that, and sometimes even a cool book or a used action figure if he was lucky.
Hence, why it came as a complete and utter shock to him that year, when he was gifted a vintage bike in his favorite shade of green. It turned out that his uncle had been spending countless hours at the junkyard pillaging any old bikes he could get his hands on and piecing the working parts together to the best of his ability. He’d used a bit of steel wool and a bottle of household metal polish to remove any rust and shine up the parts as best he could as he went along. Then he had painted it himself, on the balcony when Jordan was in school, with the help of masking tape, plastic grocery bags, and a can of green spray paint. Finally, he had shined up the black seat and rubber tires with a few dabs of cooking oil and viola, just like that Jordan had a unique and completely customized mode of transportation.
It wasn’t the shiny new bike his uncle had caught him admiring through the window of the bike shop, but it became one of Jordan’s most valued childhood possessions. It also became his primary mode of getting around until he was old enough to get a job and afford to use cabs and busses. It allowed him to begin to feel more independent, and to feel like he could really begin to take some of the load off his uncle, as he used the bike to take himself to and from school and carry out errands.
Kenny taught Jordan to ride, and he picked it up right away, already making trips around the block after his first day of practice. Each time Jordan needed to repair or maintain the bike in some way, Kenny was there to teach him how it was done, and to share some interesting new bit of information about how he had managed to put it together in the first place. The bike became more and more valuable to Jordan as he grew older and more attached to it, and the story behind it. He wondered where it was now. If his uncle still had it somewhere, maybe locked up in storage with his other belongings, or if it had gotten lost, stolen, or cast aside like so many other things over the years.
His thoughts floated back to his uncle specifically, and he wondered how he was dealing with whatever had happened to him. Jordan imagined that he was probably dealing with it much better than he was. That was usually the case. He still wasn’t much for praying, but he did it. Just for his uncle’s sake.
Dear God, please let him be okay. Dear God, please let him be okay. Dear God, please let him be okay.
The words were playing on and on in his head like a scratched record.
He took a page out of Lucy’s book and glanced out the window in order to distract himself. He tried not to think too much about the idea of his uncle dying. Maybe it was just a complication, something that could be resolved with more time and more money. His medical bills already seemed impossibly high, what were a few more years of paying those off, if it meant his uncle could live? The fact that he’d now have a stable job thanks to Noah’s mom made those bills feel just a tinge less stressful anyway. His apartment’s rent would probably be higher than the bills at his uncle’s place, but he could make sure to keep all other expenses as low as possible.
He knew that he couldn’t allow himself to assume the worst when he hadn’t even entered the hospital yet, but, like any bad thought, it refused to stay buried for long. What if his uncle did die? He had to at least mentally prepare himself for it. He owed his uncle that much at least. What would they say to each other? What would his uncle ask for, if anything? Would he want to be buried or cremated? Jordan personally didn’t feel like it mattered, but maybe it mattered to Uncle Kenny. It was certainly something else he needed to consider.
Also, he would need to take care of funeral costs. Sad as it was to think about, at least he didn’t have many belongings or a house to worry about. All the things his uncle owned, that weren’t with him at the hospital, were sitting in a sixty dollar storage unit just outside of the city. There was no other family to break the news to as far as Jordan knew, but his uncle might have some old work friends who might want to know if he passed.
There were just so many awful details that he’d never really thought of before. The more he thought about it, the more alone he began to feel. His uncle was the practical one, the one who took charge and handled all the grunt work so that nobody else would have to. But it’s not like Uncle Kenny could clean up after his own passing. That would be Jordan’s burden to bare, no matter how hard he was grieving.
Jordan’s face must have shown some of the duress that was going on in his mind, because just then Noah reached out and placed his hand on his arm.
“Hey,” Noah said softly. They were the first words he had spoken since they’d left the house. “It’s gonna be all right. No matter what’s going on, we’ll figure it out. We’re here for you, Jordan. Isn’t that right, Bugs?”
Lucy swiveled around in her seat and nodded.
“Maybe he can come stay with us until he’s feeling better like we did with you.”
Jordan gave her a thin watery smile.
“Maybe,” he told her.
He would love it if that were the case, but he doubted it was anything that simple. If they were discharging him, surely they would have waited to call in the morning. He had this terrible feeling in the pit of his stomach that refused to go away.
Jordan took a deep breath, held it for a few seconds, and then slowly let it all out.
Once upon a time he had told Lucy that there was no point worrying about things that were out of her control. It seemed like for the time being, he was going to have to learn to take his own advice.
He squeezed Noah’s proffered hand and let his eyes fall shut. At the speed Noah was driving, they would be at the hospital in less than twenty minutes. Jordan only had to suppress his worries for that long, then for better or worse, he would know what horrible fate awaited him.