I was actually awake before my alarm went off the next morning. For some reason I had slept very sound the night before. Must have been all the commotion from the bar. Wore me out I guess. At least I was up before Jessi, which meant I got first shower and could stand in the steamy water and let it wash away all the soreness from the fall I had taken the night before.
Today was the last day of freedom before classes started tomorrow morning. I needed to make a run to the bookstore. Then we needed to get a few items for the mini fridge. Our plans for the day really didn’t consist of much more than pizza, girly movies and being lazy—while we still could anyway. When I finally emerged from my nice steamy shower, I wrapped a towel around my body, and then headed into the room. I found Jessi sitting up in her bed, her back resting against her headboard, with a big cheesy smile on her face. She was staring down at her phone typing out a message. When she finished, she sighed and scooted to the edge of the bed.
“He’s so sweet, Kels. Look at the text I woke up to from him this morning.” She started waving her phone around in the air, never actually holding it still long enough for me to read anything on the tiny screen.
“Yeah, he’s a real sweetheart,” I said as I walked over to my closet and pulled out my favorite Rolling Stones t-shirt. It had been my moms and I had worn it so much that it was becoming threadbare, but I could never bring myself to part with it. I paired it with a dark pair of denim shorts and my black Chucks. I had always been a Chuck girl. While I did enjoy being girly, wearing makeup, and getting dolled up from time to time … this was normal style. I had Jessi’s closet to raid for all other occasions.
Speaking of Jessi, who was still sitting on her bed gawking at her phone, I threw my towel at her head. “You better get up and start getting ready. I know it’s going to take you forever and I would like to make it to the bookstore before it gets swamped with people.”
She let out another long sigh before finally heading toward the bathroom. After a minute or so, I heard the shower start and I finished getting myself ready.
The trip to the campus store had been an adventure all by itself. While I was worried about getting all the books I was required to have, and trying to anticipate the supplies I might need, Jessi was too busy looking at cute hoodies and pajama bottoms. Not like she was in any short supply of clothes, though. She was currently using half of my closet and drawers.
After finally getting my essentials, we made a quick stop at a local grocery store, stocking up on water and snack foods before heading back to our dorm to order some pizza. We planned on pigging out and watching movies ‘til we crashed.
We had watched a few of our favorite Channing Tatum movies before I decided to call it a night. I wanted to make sure I got plenty of sleep so I wouldn’t be dragging for my first day of classes. As I crawled into my bed, the ping of Jessi’s cell alerting her of a text caught my attention. For a minute I questioned who she was texting so much but my gut told me it was Landon.
She had managed to put her phone down while we watched our movies, but every time it would vibrate, her eyes would shift to look at it, and I knew her palm had to be itching to pick it up and see what he had said.
That had been another reason I decided to call it an early night. Who was I to keep her from sexting some guy she barely knew? At least I would be asleep shortly and wouldn’t have to listen to her giggles every time a new text came in. But every time her phone chimed I couldn’t help but wonder, if she was talking to Landon … where was Kane?
Where is Kane? Why in the hell did I even think that? He was probably off playing doctor with that girl from the bar, or any other girl for that matter. He was attractive enough to probably have his pick of anyone in this whole town. I was surprised he had wasted any of his time talking to me.
While Kane was everything I thought I would never want, there was still a nagging at the back of my mind telling me I couldn’t be sure of what I wanted. It wasn’t like I had a whole lot of past boyfriends to know what my type was. Here I was—eighteen, and I had never even had a steady boyfriend before. Don’t get me wrong. I wasn’t a prude. It wasn’t like I had never been kissed. But it was hard to find a relationship when everyone in town pitied you. Another reason I withdrew from everyone I once knew. I didn’t need their pity. What I needed was my mom. And I didn’t have her anymore.
I hated thinking about my mom before falling asleep, because almost every time I did, the nightmares of what had happened that night would follow. The guilt that almost consumed me daily, and the grief I hadn’t truly let myself feel, were enough to nearly cripple me. I didn’t need to add exhaustion on top of that from staying awake all hours of the night, for fear that every time I closed my eyes I would be back there, in that moment, living it all over again. I couldn’t handle that. Not now. Tomorrow was a new beginning. I needed this. I would start over fresh—for her.
I had managed to make it through the night without any nightmares and awoke the next morning before Jessi, again. I softly crept across the floor, trying my best not to wake her. I wanted to shower first like I did yesterday, but this time I didn’t take my time in the shower. I was too full of nervous energy and anticipation for my first class. I just wanted to get ready and get this day started.
My nerves had me hoping I hadn’t bit off more than I could chew with the classes I had picked. All the AP courses I had taken in high school had given me a slight advantage, making me feel a little more at ease about what was in store for me. But I knew nothing would compare to the real deal. This was college after all. There would be no second chances. It was up to me to make something of myself now.
Classes for the first part of the morning had gone as smoothly as I could have hoped for. The professors seemed to be really nice, but still had that no nonsense air about them. We, the students, of course got the expected speeches on how we were no longer in high school, and how they would not baby us and so on and so forth.
By midday I was starving. I had never been a breakfast person. A piece of toast every now and then was my breakfast of choice and I could usually make it all morning on that and not be hungry. But classes ran a little longer now then what they did in high school, and by the time I had I had a break it was a little past one o’clock and I was famished.
I made my way to the cafeteria, knowing Jessi would already be there waiting for me. Our tour the day before had shown us that her class was closer to the caf and let out earlier than mine, so we agreed that we would just meet there and eat together as soon as my class was over.
I was hurrying along, looking down over the syllabus from the last class when I collided with something hard.
Great!
The first thing that ran through my mind was that I had just walked into a door—like an idiot.
I slowly raised my head, expecting everyone around to be rolling with laughter. But with my head fully elevated, I saw that I had not just crashed into a door. No, instead of a door I was staring at a broad back in a white shirt.
I automatically ducked my head again and began apologizing to the poor person I had just plowed into. “I’m so sorry; I wasn’t watching where I was going.”
Glancing up when I didn’t get a response, I watched as the person I had run into turned around and slowly pulled his sunglasses down the bridge of his nose until they were resting on the tip. Man that seemed familiar.
“So we meet again, beautiful. Ya know, just because you got run over the other night, that does not justify mowing down anyone you come in contact with today,” Kane laughed.
I should have known, that was just my luck. I would go crashing into him to further prove my klutz-like tendencies.
Wait. Did he just call me beautiful?
“Oh please, if I could mow you over with you being four times my size, then I would say it’s well deserved.” I needed to be snarky with him. If I wasn’t, I would probably end up stuttering like a mad woman and make an even bigger fool of myself then I already had.
Now that I was standing this close to him in the clear light of day, I could see all his glorious features. He wasn’t wearing a ball cap again and even though his hair was cut pretty short I could still tell the color was black. And in the bright sunshine his eyes gleamed like someone had poured mercury into his irises. They were completely mesmerizing.
“Are you calling me fat?” He questioned, pulling my attention away from his eyes. What were we talking about again? “I don’t take to kindly to that. This school has zero tolerance when it comes to bullying—do I need to report you?” He raised one eyebrow at me, and our earlier conversation came rushing back.
I leaned in close, glaring at him from under my lashes. “Tattle tale,” I whispered.
It was so nice to be able to banter with him. It had been so long since I was able to cut loose with someone other than Jessi or her family. Like I said, people back home tiptoed around me. I tried to make everyone more comfortable so they wouldn’t feel the need to do so, but no matter what I did, I never changed anything so I eventually just gave up trying.
Seeing him again reminded me about how he’d rushed off the other night, and I blurted out, “Hey, how are you? You were pretty heated at the bar and then you just took off—I was kind of worried about you.” I could slap myself for divulging that last little bit of information. Sure, it might have been true, but now he was going to run off screaming into the night thinking I was some sort of stalker freak.
“Worried about me, huh?” One side of his mouth pulled up into a sly smile and I watched as a lone dimple sank deep into his cheek. Usually when you think of dimples you think cuteness, but on a man like Kane, they were far from cute—He was the epitome of sex appeal.
I rolled my eyes at his question and stepped around him, continuing on to the cafeteria. I was still very hungry and now I wasn’t going to have a lot of time to eat before my next class began. Kane fell into step with me, but as we reached the doors to the caf, he paused. I turned to look at him, and watched as the smile he had been wearing slowly slid from his face.
“I’m sorry I ran off like I did. It was a dick move.” He rubbed the back of his neck and his gray eyes held mine. “Sometimes I lose hold on my temper. I really don’t like to do that and to do it around a female, well, that’s unforgiveable. My Paw would have my head for it. It was best I just removed myself from the equation. God, I didn’t even make sure you got home safe.”
I could see guilt written all over his face, and it surprised me. Why would he be so worried about seeing to it that a random girl he had just met made it home safely? “It’s not a problem, really. Jess and I walked home right after. No bad guys jumped out of the shadows and snatched us up, or anything like that,” I joked to try and bring back the light-hearted mood from earlier.
He nodded, but something told me it was just for show—but he was willing to drop the subject and I was fine with that. After a minute, I turned back toward the doors, but before I could pull one open, his voice stopped me.
“Hey, let me at least get your lunch to make up for that night, all right?” he asked, and pulled one of the doors open so we could both enter. As soon as my eyes adjusted to the dimmer lighting in the caf, I immediately spot Jessi. She also had some company at the table with her in the form of Landon.
“Well, seeing as we are more than likely going to be sitting at the same table today”—I nodded in the couple’s direction—“I guess I’ll take you up on that.” I smiled at him, pulling my long hair over one of my shoulders, and watch his eyes as they glance down at my now exposed neck, but he quickly jerks them away and begins looking around the room.
An odd feeling forms in the pit of my stomach from the way he was looking at my neck, but I write it off to being completely famished.
We made our way around the various different foods being offered that day. As hungry as I was, everything sounded and smelled remarkably good. I finally decided on a nice, juicy, greasy, burger and fries and called out my order to the cafeteria lady. I stepped back, giving Kane room to make his order. When he didn’t proceed to tell her what he wanted, I looked over at him and see him just staring at me—mouth slightly open, just staring away.
I started feeling a little uncomfortable and finally bark at him, “What?! Do I have something on my face—in my hair—in my teeth?! What is it?! Why are you looking at me like that?”
He shook his head slightly, almost as though he was trying to bring himself out of a daze, and then grabbed his stomach and laughed. His laughter did nothing to help with the fear that I did in fact have some kind of gunk somewhere on my body. Immediately, one of my hands went to my hair and I started running my fingers through it, making sure to smooth it down and feel for whatever filth must have been stuck in there—the other began rubbing at my face, trying to wipe away whatever had him howling with laughter.
When his laughter finally halted, he slowly reached over and took my hand into his. “First, there is nothing in your silky hair, on your beautiful face, or in your perfectly straight teeth.” Bringing my hand away from my head, he dropped our arms, but didn’t let go just yet. “I was simply in a state of shock from your order. And before you go and get all self-conscious, I don’t mean that in the way you are thinking. Usually when you offer to buy girls lunch, they get nervous about what they eat in front of you. So they order a green salad just because they think that will make them look skinnier or some shit, when really, all they want is that cheeseburger”—he winked at me—“So, you skipping over the bullshit is really refreshing.” He let go of my hand, and the cool air hitting it made me miss the warmth of his.
“You ask to buy me lunch right? Well, that’s exactly what you’re going to do. Grass doesn’t really constitute as a meal, in my opinion. If I’m going to eat, then damn it I want some meat in there.” My belly growled further proving I say exactly what I mean.
“Well then, beautiful, let’s get that food and get some seats before you go all ravenous beast on me over that burger, huh?” he laughed.
I realized then that I love his laugh. He had one of those contagious laughs that you couldn’t help but smile when you heard it. It was so deep and full, like he always means it when he laughs about something. Means it when he laughs? Really Kelsey? What does that even mean? Being close with Kane was going to make me question my sanity. I had the most idiotic thoughts whenever he was near.
We got our food and headed over to the table that Jessi and Landon were already seated at. The table had quite a few more people seated at it than what it had when we first came in, but there were still two empty seats saved directly across from Jess and Landon. We walked to the seats, and before I could set my tray down, Kane was pulling my chair out for me. You never see men pull chairs out for women these days and you definitely wouldn’t expect it from someone who looks like Kane. With his facial piercing and tattoos, he looks more like a person who would be jerking the chair away as you went to sit so that your ass would hit the floor.
I gently sat down in my chair and cast quick glances in his direction as he gave the chair a little push in toward the table. I watched as he grabbed his chair and spun it around backward before straddling it, and going about separating the ginormous amount of food he had piled on his tray. When I finally pulled my eyes away from Kane, I saw Jessi staring at me with a questioning smile on her face. She ever so slightly tilted her head in Kane’s direction, and I gave her leg a swift kick under the table.
“Ow! Shit! What the hell?” Landon let out a wail, and reached under the table to rub his leg.
Oops. So much for kicking Jessi’s leg. I was mortally embarrassed and didn’t know how I was going to explain that one. Luckily for me, I had a kickass best friend who was fast to swoop in and cover for me.
“I’m so sorry! That was me. I had a little cramp and went to stretch and I guess reflexes kicked in and bam! Shin kick.” She batted her eyes, and the look on his face clearly showed that he was so infatuated with what she was saying—he didn’t really care what his shin felt like anymore. “This is my friend, Kelsey, by the way.”
Only then did he take his eyes off her and turn them toward me. I gave him a slight wave and smile that he returned and I watched his eyes shift between Kane and me for a split second before coming back to rest on me. Kane’s body went ridged beside me, and I pulled my eyes away from Landon to look at him. He was glaring at Landon, but when he caught me looking acted as if nothing had happened and continued to eat his food.
“So, how were classes this morning, Kels? Is college everything you ever dreamed it would be?” Jess sarcastically clasped her hands together and pulled them up to her neck, fluttering her eyelashes as she did so.
Knowing Jessi’s playful nature, I played right back, throwing both hands against my heart before sighing, “Oh you wouldn’t believe it, Jessica! There are so many new things to learn here! My goodness, I didn’t believe such a place existed!” I drawled in my best Scarlett O'Hara accent. We both laughed and I shrugged. “No seriously, classes were okay. The professors are trying to play hard asses but I think I can handle it.” I dipped my fry into some ketchup and popped it into my mouth.
“Mine were so boring,” Jess flung her tiny body back against the chair and sighed, “If they stay this way all year I don’t know how I’m going to make it. For serious, when the first teacher was speaking, all I head was wha wha wha—you know—just like that teacher in the Charlie Brown cartoon! No joke, I can’t handle a year of that and it’s only the first day!”
Jessi had never been the studious one in our duo. Not saying Jessi wasn’t smart, she was brilliant and she always made good grades. She just lacked the drive to apply herself fully when it came to school work. At that moment I would just chalk her attitude up to first day blues and the fact that she had been up late texting Landon. I knew she would regret not getting enough sleep, but honestly, Jessi could sleep half the day away and it still wouldn’t be enough sleep for her.
“I’m just glad we are at least in the next class together. Maybe you can keep me awake in this one.” She winked. I was really excited to have a class with her. In high school I had taken all the AP courses I could, while Jessi had taken only the classes she was required to in order to graduate.
“Oh, by the way who is your friend here, Kels?” Caught up in the distraction of class talk, I’d totally forgotten to introduce Kane.
“Um”—I cleared my throat—“This is Kane. Kane, this is my best friend, Jessi.” I waved my hand in the air back and forth between them.
“Nice to meet you.” Kane extended his hand toward Jessi, and I watched her check out his tattoo sleeve as she shook his hand.
“Nice tats. Kels and I were supposed to go get one together but haven’t made it there yet. Maybe you can recommend a place for us,” Jessi throws out there. We had never fully agreed on this matter. Sure we discussed getting them, but never actually said the words, ‘yeah let’s do this.’
“His brother does all mine.” Kane nodded toward Landon.
“I can set you all up with a consult if ya want.” Landon shrugs.
Before I could even open my mouth to tell him no thanks, we were not fully committed to even getting the tattoos—Jessi squealed and threw her arms around his neck. As soon as she began thanking him, I knew anything I said to her right now would fall on deaf ears.
Someone bumped my shoulder, and I turned to see Kane watching me. “What’s wrong with you? You look like someone just ran over your dog.” I’m not sure he’s even noticed how his body has gravitated toward mine. But right now, I’m so focused on him and the warmth of his body pressed against me, I can hardly think about anything else.
“We just hadn’t really agreed on getting them yet is all.”
Jessi and I had always thought it would be the ‘cool best friend’ thing to do, and get our first tattoos together. I wanted one but knew I had to get something I would never regret. I had bounced around tattoo ideas often, but there was one I always went back to.
“So how is this weekend for y’all?” Landon’s question caught me by surprise and my eyes bulged.
“This ... this weekend?” I managed to squeak out.
“It’s perfect!” Jess exclaimed, slapping her hand down on the table and causing me to jump. “Gives chicken shit over there less time to change her mind.” She looked at me and gave me a quick wink.
Yeah, she knew I was going to kill her for that later.
“All right then, I’ll text him after my next class to set it all up.” Landon beamed at Jessi. That boy was completely smitten with her and I really hoped she felt the same. It wasn’t hard to see that if she didn’t, it would crush him.
I finally glanced down at my watch and saw that I had ten minutes before my next class began. It wasn’t far from the cafeteria, but being the first day, I wanted to get there early and get a good seat. I wiped my hands on a napkin and scooted my chair back as I grabbed for my tray, but it was swiped away at the last second by Kane who was standing beside me with a big goofy grin on his face.
“I got it for ya,” he stated and started walking off in the direction of the trashcans—not even waiting for my response.
I grabbed my bag and looked over to see Jessi trying to hold back a laugh. “See you in a few. Save me a seat!” she called out to me.
Shaking my head, I started making my way through the tables and people, following the ginormous tattooed man who insisted on carrying my tray for me. In the last hour, Kane had shown a side of him—that just from his outwardly appearance—I would have never known existed. Who could have guessed that someone with Kane’s appearance, would have such good manners? I guess the saying ‘Don’t judge a book by its cover’ was one hundred percent true. Kane was a walking, talking example of that.
After dumping our trays, he turned around to face me. “So where is your next class?”
“Wickham Hall,” I said as I adjusted the strap of my bag on my shoulder. Reaching over, Kane slipped the strap down my arm, taking my bag and placing the strap over his shoulder instead.
“I can do stuff on my own you know?” I glared at him and placed one hand on my hip. This doing stuff for me before asking me was going to get real old, real fast.
“I know that. I just want to do this for you okay?” He shrugged and pushed open the door, signaling for me to head out in front of him.
We silently made our way to class, but it wasn’t an awkward silence that you would usually you get walking side by side with a person you barely knew. Kane had this way about him that made me feel completely at ease when he was near. Jessi had been my best friend all my life, and I didn’t get the calm and comforting feelings with her like I got while I was around Kane. Which made this whole situation even crazier. I’d known this man all of five minutes. Didn’t you have to get to know someone before you were even the least bit comfortable around them?
Finally deciding to break the silence, I asked, “So what are you majoring in?” Smooth Kelsey … real smooth. Way to pick the most obvious and boring topic ever!
Pulling his trusty aviators from the collar of his white V-neck shirt, he slid them on before answering me, “Business. I want to open my own bar someday.”
Wow. I was a little taken back at first. “Really? I would have never pegged you as a business major … actually now that I’m thinking about it—I don’t know what I really pegged you as.” I finished with a laugh and prayed I didn’t offend him in some way. I mean, just from his outwardly appearance, you wouldn’t even really expect him to go to college—let alone already know what he is majoring in and what he plans to do with that major. I know it was just my first day of actual classes, but the fact that I wasn’t sure what I wanted to major in was driving me crazy. All my life my one goal was just to make it to college. There wasn’t much thought beyond that point. I just knew I needed to get here and now that I was here I wasn’t sure what was next.
Although, child services had always been in the back of my mind. Not living in the best environment growing up may have played a big part in that. I wanted children that were growing up in an environment like I had, to get help sooner. Memories of my past came rushing back and chilled me to the bone. No one should ever go through what I did. If I could keep just one child’s life from becoming what mine had been, that would give me a sense of accomplishment. The horrors of my past were not something I liked to focus on these days though. No matter how hard I wished for it, what had been done could not be undone.
“So who is your professor?” Kane asked, pulling me from my painful trip down memory lane.
“Um, Hanson. I hear she’s a real hard ass. I’m actually a little nervous, to be honest.” We had finally made it to the door of the class and I took a quick peek inside to see if the notorious teacher was inside. I didn’t see her, but I did see a few people already taking their seats.
“Ah, she’s not all that hard. I’ll let you in on a little secret, but you are sworn to secrecy”—He leaned in so close to my ear that his hot breath tickled the small hairs on the side of my neck—“it’s all an act.”
He pulled back and my eyes flew open—funny how I never even noticed they had closed in the first place. He crossed his arms and leaned against the door facing the class. “She likes to be all tough and give hard lectures the first few days making people think they are in for one hell of a hard class. Then she lets up after all the ones panic and drop her class because they think it’ll be too rough. Her class was actually one of my favorites.”
Well, at least that calmed my nerves a little bit. I had heard some horror stories about this woman and her obscene amount of work she gave out. Now that I knew it was all a ruse—all I could think was, well played madam … well played.
Feeling better about how this class was going to go, I held my hand out for my bag that Kane was still holding. “Thanks for walking me to class, and carrying my bag.” I mean, really, what else can I say? This is moving into first date—kiss or don’t kiss on the doorstep—territory.
Before things could get any more awkward, Kane handed over my bag and I turned to head into class. I had made it all of two steps in before I felt a light baseball-type slap right on my ass. Whipping around, I caught sight of Kane walking backwards out of the class, holding up both hands with a smile on his face so huge both dimples were clearly visible.
“Go get ‘em tiger. Give that class hell!” He winked before turning and disappeared from the doorway.
I could feel the biggest smile on my face as I shook my head; I might not have known him long, but he was sure growing on me. I couldn’t remember smiling this much in such a long time. There was just something about him that pulled you in and made you comfortable around him. And it was refreshing to finally meet new people and have them get to know Kelsey … not ‘that girl Kelsey with the fucked up past’.