Kane helped me slip my dress back on. I had to go braless and panty-less since they were still soaking wet from our swim. I was thankful we had taken a truck out here tonight. I couldn’t imagine how horrible the ride home on the back of a motorcycle would be. But after what had just happened I wonder if I would have really minded.
I was still flying high when Kane pulled the truck back onto the main road. Neither of us had spoken much but neither of us could hide the smiles on our faces either. We were both casting secret glances at each other across the cab of the truck until Kane’s hand latched onto my thigh, pulling me across the seat to sit next to him.
“That’s better.” He winked at me and interlaced our fingers before bringing them up to his lips.
So much had changed in such a short time. A few months ago I couldn’t wait to get out of my home town, get away from the place that held the darkest memories that I thought would swallow me up and drag me down, holding me in their darkness forever. Finally away from that place, I was learning to breathe again. Learning to be myself again.
This would make my mom happy. She wouldn’t have wanted me to live out the rest of my life the way I had been living—well, living probably wasn’t the right word—the way I had been existing these past six years. I glanced at Kane through my lashes, my mom would have loved him. She would have loved the tattoos and probably even the piercing because it showed he didn’t care what others thought of him. That he did things because he wanted to. That he wasn’t afraid of what people thought. She wanted to be that way … she just found herself in a situation that she couldn’t get out of without there being repercussions that she would never be able to live with.
Sharing custody of me with my dad, her not being able to protect me if he were to ever try to abuse me the way he had her, was not an option to her. So my mom staying in an abusive relationship protected me, in a weird way.
Kane cleared his throat, jarring me from my thoughts. “I know I said I would take you back to the dorms, but I’m not ready to say goodbye to you yet. It’s fine if you don’t want to, but would you like to spend the night at my place? I will take you back to the dorms first thing in the morning if that’s what you want but I just want to hold you tonight. I want you in my bed, with me.” He glanced at me to see if I was considering this, but, really, what was there to consider? I was already dreading the goodbye when he dropped me off. The thought of spending the night in his arms sounded like the perfect way to end this perfect day.
“Yes.” I enthusiastically nodded my head. “I would love to spend the night with you.”
I smiled when I heard the engine rev a little louder, obviously he was speeding up a little to hurry and get us home.
We pulled into the parking lot of Shot’s and Kane cut the engine. He opened his door and held out his hand for me. I slid across the seat, careful so that my dress didn’t ride up too high. I was, after all, going commando at the moment. We held hands as we made our way to the stairs that lead to his apartment.
When we made it to the door Kane bent down and picked something up. I then realized it was the leftovers Emma had sent home with him that he had asked Landon to drop off, which reminded me I needed to call Jessi and let her know I wouldn’t be back to the dorm tonight. Kane let go of my hand to pull a small, silver key from his pocket and slid it in the lock. After a little twist he pushed open the door and motioned for me to step in ahead of him.
Everything was black; there was no light at all, not even one of those little plug-in night lights. I heard the door close behind me then a click. The room lit up and I turned to see Kane with his finger still on the light switch.
“Well, this is my place.” He nodded toward the open room.
I turned and took it all in. It wasn’t bad. It had an open floor plan. There was a long bar that separated the kitchen from the living room and I could tell the kitchen had been recently updated. It had dark granite countertops and sleek stainless steel appliances. The walls were painted a cool electric blue and was accented with black throw rugs and vases.
I bet Emma helped him decorate. It was too put together for a bachelor pad. The living room had a large flat screen TV hanging from the center of the wall and a dark leather U-shaped couch sat across from it. Again there were accents of burnt orange throw pillows and a bowl of orange and brown globes that sat in the middle of the coffee table in front of the couch. Now I was certain Emma had her way with decorating. What guy would think to buy that?
I stood there, not really sure what to do next. I had never spent the night with a guy before so I didn’t know protocol on these sort of things. Did I just go sit on the couch and get comfortable? Did I wait for him to offer me a seat? Since I didn’t know, I just stood there like a huge idiot.
Kane walked around me and into the kitchen. He began pulling the left overs out of the bag and placing them in the fridge. “If you’re hungry I can heat some of this up for you.” He peeked around the fridge door at me. I shook my head no and continued to stand there taking in the rest of the apartment.
Directly in front of me I could see a very small hall and what looked like three closed doors. I guess that’s where the bedroom and bathroom were. Speaking of bathrooms, I really needed to pee. Clearing my throat I asked, “Can I use your bathroom?” Well, that came out a little dumber than I thought. Of course I could use his bathroom. If was going to be staying here all night, I’m pretty sure I would have to use it sometime throughout the next few hours.
Kane didn’t seem to notice the stupidity in my question. He only came around the bar and took my hand. “It’s right over here. Hey, do you want to take a shower? Wash some of that pond water off? You can wear my clothes and I will throw yours in the wash.”
A shower actually sounded like heaven right now so I nodded.
Kane showed me where the bathroom was and I took one look in the mirror and just about face palmed. My hair was a mess! It was actually sticking up on the left side like I had stuck my finger in a light socket. How could I not notice that my hair looked this bad? How could Kane not laugh every time he looked at me? I was trying to get my fingers through my unruly hair when Kane came back into the bathroom with some folded clothes in his hands.
“These will probably swallow you, but at least they are clean. I will have your clothes washed in no time though.”
I smiled and took the soft cotton shirt and boxers from his hands. “Thank you.”
Kane smiled and lightly flicked his lip ring with his tongue. The sight of that one simple move had my belly fluttering and I quickly turned to set the clothes down on the sink.
“Well, I will let you get to it then. I’ll be right in the living room if you need anything. All the soaps and shampoos are in there.”
I turned back around to look at him and could see a sly smile on his face. Did he know what the lip ring did to me? Was he doing it on purpose? I had no time to ask—not that I was sure I would—before he stepped back out into the hallway, closing the door behind him.
I sat down on the closed toilet lid and tried to compose myself. It was a good thing he left when he did because had he still been playing with that lip ring when I turned back around, I probably would have drug him in the shower with me.
I couldn’t believe I was spending the night and that I would also be spending the night in his arms. Speaking of spending the night, I really needed to call Jessi. I got up and walked over the countertop where I had laid my cell. It had been on silent and the screen was already lit up with two texts. The first from Jessi.
Trying to wait up for you! Where the hell are you?! I want to know what happened. Text me back bitch!
The next one was a bit of a surprise. It was from Nate.
Still on for meeting to work on the project in the morning? Let me know, I’ll bring coffee.
Shit. I had forgotten all about meting up with Nate tomorrow. That meant Kane would have to take me back to school a little earlier then I thought. I tapped out a quick response to Nate letting him know we were still on and that he could bring me whatever he was having. I got an almost immediate response back from him saying he would be at the library at nine.
I decided to call Jessi instead of texting her. There was so much I wanted to tell her and I didn’t think my fingers would keep up. After one ring, she picked up.
“Spill it, hooker! Where the hell are you?! You are never out later than me.”
I took a deep breath. “I’m at Kane’s. I won’t be coming back tonight so you don’t have to wait up.”
The high-pitched squeal she let out had me holding the phone away from my ear. It was so loud I wasn’t sure that Kane didn’t hear it all the way in the living room.
“I knew it! You’re going to have sex aren’t you?!”
I bit my lip and ran my finger back and forth across the counter top. “About that,” I paused then looked up at myself in the mirror. I didn’t look any different did I? I sure felt different, but I still looked like me … but I wasn’t a virgin anymore. I felt like there should be some neon sign above my head flashing ‘she swiped her v-card, folks!’ But there was no sign, just me. Just Kelsey, but I knew I was different. That fact was evident from the dull ache I still had between my legs. The ache that was the reminder that Kane had been there.
“We kind of already did…”
There was silence on her end before another squeal. “Oh my God! Kelsey! How could you not tell me right after it happened? Where did it happen? When?! How was it?! I bet it was good. Kane looks like he would be good. Tell me, does he have piercings anywhere else?”
My cheeks felt like they had been lit on fire, “Jessi! No he doesn’t have any more piercings! I can’t believe you would ask me that!” I don’t think it was the question that had really embarrassed me, it was the fact that I was kind of turned on thinking about Kane having more piercings and wondering if he would ever consider it. Stop! I needed to stop thinking right now.
“Look, I can’t go into details with you right now. I am getting ready to hop in the shower.” I heard her inhale and I knew the question that was getting ready to pop out of her mouth. “Alone, Jessi. Before you even ask. I am taking a shower alone.”
“Well that’s just boring,” she said. “You know you could conserve water and shower together?” she giggled. She knew she was killing me.
I rolled my eyes even though she couldn’t see. “I just wanted to let you know not to wait up for me. I am supposed to meet Nate at nine to go over the group project. You sure you can’t make it?”
“Nope, sure can’t. You crazy kids have fun with that. I’ll just play catch up.”
“Like always?”
“Don’t you start with me, Kelsey Rien. Just because you are a woman now doesn’t mean you are the boss of me,” she giggled again and I huffed. I knew later she was going to want every single detail about what had happened tonight, and because she was my best friend, I would tell her. Okay, maybe I wouldn’t tell her everything. It was special. I wanted to keep it something that was just between Kane and me, but I would give her enough to pacify her.
“Just know that it was special and that he made me feel comfortable. He was tender and great and it was everything I could have hoped for.” I smiled at the memory of tonight.
Jessi let out a deep sigh, “I’m so happy for you, Kelsey. I bet it was romantic and I’m glad it was special for you. You deserve good memories like that.” This is why she was my best friend. Even though we had never spoken about making new memories to cancel out the old ones, she understood exactly what I was doing.
“I love you, Jess. I will see you tomorrow.”
“Love you too, Kels. And just think, if it was good the first time when it’s supposed to be awkward and uncomfortable, just imagine how it’s going to be … the next time,” she laughed.
“Bye, Jessi.” I shook my head at my friend.
“Later, babe.” She replied and I hit end.
Could she be right? Could it get better than what it had been? This time was pretty great, when it had not been painful. Maybe she was right, maybe the next time would be even better. I felt a heat rise up from my chest and I knew I needed to get in the shower—a cold one at that—and stop thinking about a next time. Who even knew if there would be a next time?
When I finally emerged from the bathroom, Kane was sitting on his couch watching his huge TV. I quietly walked to the end of the couch and stood. He must have heard me anyway because he picked up the remote, pointed it at the TV and turned it off. He leaned forward placing the remote on the table, then stood and made his way to me. I swear it had probably been twenty minutes since I had seen him last, but it felt like it had been an eternity because all I wanted to do was throw myself at him and kiss him … hard.
“Hi,” he said as he stood in front of me.
I looked up at him through my lashes and bit the corner of my lip out of nervous habit. He smiled and used his thumb to pull my lip free from my teeth. “You really have to stop doing that.” He smiled, then leaned in to kiss me.
The kiss started out soft and sweet, but quickly grew as I wrapped both arms around his neck and ran my hands over his short hair. I broke from the kiss, needing some air, or so I thought. But the light-headedness I was feeling had nothing to do with lack of oxygen, it was all simply due to Kane and what he did to me. With his mouth now free from mine, he began kissing along my jawbone up to my ear.
“You should really just wear my clothes all the time.” He seductively breathed in my ear and my body automatically responded. I tightened my arms around his neck and he let out a throaty laugh. “You call Jessi and tell her you weren’t coming back tonight?” he asked.
I nodded because honestly I didn’t think I could form any words at the moment, but bringing up my phone call with Jessi also reminded me that I needed to tell him I had to be at the library at nine. But when he began kissing my neck, I lost that thought and could only focus on his lips and what they were doing to me.
Kane slid his hands around my waist, pausing to grip my backside before sliding down to hook his hands under my knees. He lifted me off the ground and I wrapped my legs around his waist. I didn’t realize we were moving until I heard the click of a door being opened. At first I thought someone had come in his front door, but when I opened my eyes I found myself in a different room. I quickly took in my surroundings. I couldn’t see much because the light was off, but Kane had left the door open so the light from the hall filtered in enough for me to get a feel for the space.
All the furniture looked dark. Either it was dark wood or it was black, I couldn’t tell for sure with the little light I had. Beside the bed was a small night stand and there were two picture frames sitting atop it. There was a large bed in the middle of the wall and a chest at the foot of the bed. Just your standard room. I guess he didn’t let Emma get ahold of this space.
Kane walked over to the bed and gently laid me down and all thoughts of the room went out the window. He laid me on his pillows and his scent engulfed me. I could get used to this. Being able to fall asleep smelling Kane.
He laid down beside me and his mouth found mine again. He was playfully kissing me, giving my lips tiny little teasing licks or bites, never fully kissing me the way I wanted. Finally fed up with his teasing, I grabbed the back of his neck and held him still while I took control. I could feel him laughing around my kiss but he finally gave in and kissed me how I wanted to be kissed.
We laid there kissing for what seemed like hours. I’m surprised the kissing didn’t lead to more considering what we had just done a few hours ago, but to be honest, I didn’t know if I would be able to handle more so soon. I was still a little sore. Kane pulled away from me and stopped me when I leaned back in for more.
“As much as I hate to stop doing what we are doing, I still have to take a shower.” He smiled.
I couldn’t help the pout face I gave him. Kissing Kane was just too enjoyable for me to be okay with stopping. He tucked a strand of my now-damp hair behind my ear and kissed my forehead.
“I will back in a few minutes.” I gave him a look letting him know I would rather him just stay in bed with me, but he started to get up anyway. “I will hurry. I promise.” He smiled as he excited the room.
I sighed and rolled to my side, facing the only window in the room. They must have been slightly cracked because a soft white glow was just barely showing through. I touched my lips and smiled. Yep, they would definitely be swollen the rest of the night and maybe even tomorrow. Just another reminder I would have of Kane.
I let out a long yawn. I guess now that all the excitement had died down and all the endorphins I had being running high on had ceased, my body was finally starting to feel how tired I was. I could still hear the shower running but I thought I would just close my eyes for a little while. Just rest them for a minute. I would hear when he came back in the room and it would wake me up anyway. Only that didn’t happen. Once I closed my eyes exhaustion took over and it felt like I had fifty pound weights holding them closed.
I barely recall being lifted and then slid under the covers. I also faintly remembered Kane sliding in behind me and wrapping me up in his arms, but the last part I couldn’t be certain if it had really happened or if it was a dream. But if it was a dream, it was one I hoped I remembered tomorrow because I didn’t want to forget the feel of Kane’s lips on the back of my head as he kissed me, and the way his breath felt on my ear as he whispered goodnight.
But out of all of that I didn’t want to forget what he said after that. “I never thought I would have someone like you in my life, Kelsey. Maybe there was a reason for me waking up and becoming a better person. Maybe it was because all along I was meant to find you and the person I was before wasn’t worthy of having you. But I swear, now that I have you, I’m never going to let you go.”
His words echoed through my head before the blackness of sleep engulfed me and I drifted off.