After a quick goodbye to Nate, I headed off toward the dorms. The sooner I was rid of this bag, the better. At least in high school you had lockers. Lugging this stuff around was going to take some getting used to.
Not feeling like waiting on the elevator—which always seemed to take forever—I decided to take the stairs. Our dorm room was just a few doors down from the stairwell and was a whole hallways walk from the elevator bays, but ascending three flights of stairs with all my books and laptop might not have been the brightest idea on my part. With each step I took, waiting on those damn slow elevators sounded better and better.
Finally making it to our floor, I walked the short distance to our room and turned the knob. Jess should already be back, she was probably taking a mid-afternoon nap to be honest. Waking up early and Jessi never did go well together. Slowly pushing open the door, I fully expected to see Jess lying in her bed, softly snoring away after a hard first day of class. What I did not expect was a pale, bare ass as it pumped away at my best friend.
I yelped and slapped my hand over my eyes as I fumbled around for the doorknob. “Sorry! Sorry! I’m leaving! Carry on doing … that.” I waved the hand that wasn’t currently shielding my eyes from the horrific sight, wildly in the air before finally landing it on the doorknob and slamming it shut.
“Good Lord,” I muttered under my breath as I slid down the wall beside our door. I could still hear Jessi’s giggles.
Shaking my head, I pulled my headphones out of my bag, plugged them into my cell and settled in to wait. Surely she would hurry it along and finish since she knew I was waiting … I hoped she would anyway.
After about two songs there was a light tap on my shoulder and my eyes flew open to find Jessi standing there with a pretty pleased look on her face. As she should have after what I had just walked in on. Landon walked out of our room and into the hallway as I started to stand, looking just a tad bit embarrassed.
Leave it to the guy to go get all discomforted and Jessi be the one going on as if I walked in on them playing a game of Go Fish instead of bumping uglies. I swear, sometimes I honestly think she’s part man. Poor Landon was just standing beside Jessi, with his eyes cast down toward the floor as if he was trying not to make eye contact with me.
At least he’s not just the average jerk that gets what he wants and hurries on his way … but that doesn’t mean I can’t use his discomfort to have a little fun myself, right?
“No need to go get all shy now,” I told him. “I have seen your bare ass and all.”
He scratched at the back of his neck and let out a nervous chuckle. “Yeah, sorry about that.”
“No problem. I was just coming to put my things away before heading back out,” I said to them.
“Out? So where are you going?” Jess questioned me. I knew she was probably a little thrown off by the fact that I had plans to go out, and that those plans didn’t involve her. Usually the only places I went to lately are the places she drags me. So this was a whole different ball game for her.
“Kane asked me if I would like to grab a cup of coffee. I told him I would. He’s probably waiting out front for me now actually. I didn’t think the room would be … occupied.” I winked at Landon because I knew he was feeling pretty uncomfortable right now, and I can’t lie, I was enjoying teasing him and watching him squirm. “So, can I get in there now? I’d like to finally get rid of these heavy books if you don’t mind.” I pushed past Jessi into the room and dropped my bag on my desk.
Ahh, yes. Relief. It felt so good to be rid of that weighty thing—for a while at least. I rushed off to the bathroom to freshen up a little bit, and had to stop myself from doing too much. I’m not worried about impressing him—or am I? Shaking the thought from my head, I finished brushing my teeth and applied a fresh swipe of deodorant. I may not be trying to impress the guy too much, but smelling good is a given, right?
I stepped out of the bathroom and found Jessi sitting in a desk chair that she had pulled up so that it was directly in front of the bathroom door. She had one of her mischievous smiles plastered across her face.
“Stop smiling like that. You’re giving me the creeps.”
“Smiling like what?” She grinned bigger while twisting back and forth in the desk chair.
“You know like what. Like the cat that ate the canary or whatever it is your grandpa used to say.” I turned and took one last glimpse in the mirror.
“You look fine.” I heard Jess call from over my shoulder.
“What? Oh I’m not checking how I look. I’m just making sure I don’t have any junk on my face?” Yeah, even I heard the questioning tone I had in my last statement. I guess I was busted.
“So what’s the deal with you two?” she questioned as she kicked off the ground, giving the chair a complete spin like some five year old playing in their parent’s work chair.
“Nothing, Jess. I just met the guy. I just figured it would be a good idea to have more than one friend, ya know? It’s obvious you and Landon there are getting a little serious. What will I do when you’re off with him if I don’t finally come around and attempt to make some new friends?”
She stopped her spinning and stared at me for a few seconds before getting up from her chair and hugging me.
“Kels, you will always have me. No boy will every change that. You’re my number one, babe. Sisters before misters and all that. And what in the world gave you the impression I’m starting something serious with Landon?” She let me go and took a step back.
“Oh I don’t know, Jess, could it be the fact that I just walked in on the two of you having full-blown rabbit sex in our dorm after knowing each other a couple days?”
She giggled. “Oh, Kelsey honey, that boy sure knows what he’s doing in the sack, let me tell ya. But that doesn’t mean I’m ready to settle down and get serious with him.” She looked down at her hands and started to pick at her fingernails.
Yeah, keep spitting out whatever you want, Jess. I don’t believe it either.
This boy had Jessi spinning and she was just too damn scared to admit it. My friend was used to boys falling quickly for her. She was mixed up about falling so fast, but I knew it would do her some good. She needed more than just a quick lay. Jessi deserved a guy that would treat her like the little princess she thought she was. Maybe finally being here at college would be a fresh start for us both. And if she just so happened to find love with the first guy she actually met while being here, so be it.
“You’re impossible, Jess. Just admit you actually like him, like him.” I playfully shoved her shoulder.
“All right, Miss Wants to Point Fingers, you know I have ten I can point right back at you. Kane.” She placed both hands on her hips. “Admit you like him, like him.” She threw my statement back in my face.
“I don’t even know him, Jess! From the few conversations we’ve had he seems like a pretty laid back person. I will admit I do feel more comfortable around him than I should, having just met him and all. But today after class, I heard some things that throw up red flags.”
“Oh, Kelsey don’t let gossip make you doubt your gut feeling about him. I mean, look at the shit storm we just got away from.”
“I know, Jess. That’s why I’m going to be straight with him when we go out for coffee.”
“Well, don’t be too rough on him. Give him a chance to clear the air.” She smiled then grabbed me by my shoulders and pointed me toward the door. “Now scoot! Didn’t you say he was waiting?”
“Thanks, Jess. Love you! Be back later!” I called over my shoulder as I grabbed my purse and headed out the door.
When I stepped into the lobby of our dorm, I could see Kane through the glass doors just outside leaning against a lamppost. He was talking on his cell phone. I took a minute to just look at him, he seemed to be enjoying the conversation he was having. The smile on his face was evidence of that. He threw his head back, as if he was laughing at whatever the person on the other end was saying, and I couldn’t help but wonder who he was talking to. Could it be one of the many girls that were supposedly seen leaving his apartment at all hours of the night?
What the hell, Kelsey? What does it even matter to you? You’re just going out for coffee!
Shaking the weird jealousy-induced thoughts from my head, I pushed open the door and stepped outside. When Kane looked up and saw me coming, he turned his head as if to throw this voice in the other direction. If that was his attempt, he failed because I could clearly hear him tell the person on the other end of the call that he would come over later that night.
Well, so much for wondering whom he was talking to. Homeboy hasn’t even had coffee with me yet, and is already setting up his plans for after. Figures.
“Hey, you ready?” He pushed off the lamppost and walked my way. His smile still plastered across his face. Those must be some great plans he had for later.
“Yeah, Jessi was, uh … using the room so I had to wait for her to um, well, finish before I could get in,” I stammered.
He let out a low chuckle, “Yeah, I kind of heard about it.”
I looked up at him and cocked my eyebrow. He had heard?
The questioning look on my face made him continue. “While I was waiting for you, Landon came out. He told me that he had been up to see Jessi and that you would be down in a minute.”
Ah yes, Landon. I didn’t think about him.
“So, you wanna get out of here? The coffee shop is just around the corner and its nice out so I thought it would be a good afternoon for a walk.”
“Sounds perfect.”
We walked about a block from the campus to a very small, but quaint, coffee shop. We placed our orders, and then found a nice quiet table off in the corner by itself. That was probably for the best. I was going to question him about the things Nate had told me, and I wasn’t exactly sure how it would go. He could get totally offended and go off on me for all I knew. Hell, now that I was thinking about it, if things were reversed, I would probably be offended if he were to be asking me personal questions that I … I mean he, had no business asking. But I had to do this. I had to know what kind of person I was being drawn to. I had never had someone get to me the way he does. Never had I been hung up on someone like I was him. This was all so new to me and I needed to be sure that if nothing else, I could have a friendship with Kane. That he wasn’t out to bang the new quiet college girl.
Before I could even grab hold of my chair, Kane reached around me and pulled it out just like he had done at lunch earlier that day. He stepped back a little so I could sit down before he gently pushed it back in, and then walked around the table and took the seat in front of me.
I lightly blew into my cup to cool the coffee down a bit, but honestly, I was merely stalling. I wasn’t really sure how I was going to start this conversation. I mean how exactly does one tell someone else that they are not just a warm body? That they are not interested in being a quick lay and then being cool to pass them on campus without so much as a hello? I sucked in the boy department. Maybe I should have pumped Jessi for some tips before I ran off and agreed to set myself up for disaster.
Sensing my awkwardness, Kane cleared his throat and began to speak, “So, how did you feel about your first day as a college student?”
“It was okay.” I shrugged and sat my coffee down on the table. “You better not have been lying about Professor Hanson either. That lady looks like she means business. I was right to only worry about her. Her syllabus is crazy hard, and I’m not going to lie, she kind of scares me just a little bit.”
He laughed and took a drink of his coffee. “Believe me, I wouldn’t lie to you. The woman is a softy and she really does care about helping you further your education. Unlike some of the other no-nonsense professors, she gets that sometimes things happen in life that you have no control over, and she will work with you on getting extensions and sometimes a little extra credit if you’re behind. The woman is a godsend. She helped me out big time when I had her. I wasn’t having the best year when I had taken her class. In all honesty, she probably should have failed my punk ass but she never gave up on me.’
He sat his cup down on the table and stared at the cardboard sleeve around it. I could tell he was lost in his own thoughts. Maybe about whatever had been going on with him that year that would cause him to fall so far behind like he had—but I wasn’t going to press it. I had my own secrets that I wasn’t willing to share just yet, so I was in no position to ask about his.
“So, anyway,” I started. Might as well get this over with. Just like ripping off a Band-Aid. “You have quite the rep around here, ya know.” I tried to make my tone light so that I wouldn’t come off as a judgmental bitch.
“Is that so?” He leaned back in his chair and casually draped one arm over the back.
I cleared my throat before I began again, “Seems to be. I hear you are quite popular with the ladies.”
He rolled his eyes and leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table as he stared straight into my eyes.
“I could only guess the person you might have heard that from; but yes, I can’t lie, I have done some pretty terrible things in my past. I used a lot of innocent girls and treated them a hell of a lot worse than they deserved. But I can assure you that I have grown a lot in the past year or so. I’m not the same person I used to be. But none of these assholes around here believe it.”
His stare was so intense. As if he wanted more than anything for me to believe him.
Looking back down at my cup, I shrugged. “It’s not really of my business, Kane.”
“Then why even ask?”
His statement made me look up at him. I wanted to be honest with him because he’d been honest with me. Letting me know that in his past he wasn’t a real stand-up guy, and may have used some girls in the process, couldn’t have been easy. But I couldn’t be one hundred percent truthful with him. I couldn’t tell him that I have zero experience with guys and the pull I felt toward him scared the living daylight out of me. That his abundant amount of experience with women had me ready to run scared for the hills. So instead, I settled for as close to the truth as I could get and prayed that it was enough.
“I just didn’t understand why. If you can get all these other girls, why would you even be wasting any time with me? Why bother taking me out for coffee? Because I can tell you right now, I’m so different from your average girl that is my age. I’m not ready to go into detail about anything just yet, but I’m not the type to hook up.” There. I said it. Now let’s see how he reacts to the fact that he’s not going to be getting any extras from me.
He took a minute to respond, though that minute seemed like an eternity. “Kelsey, I can promise you now that I have no ill-intentions toward you. There is something about you that I can’t shake and I honestly just feel the need to be close to you. I know that sounds completely creepy, but it’s the only way I know how to explain it.” He shrugged.
I knew all too well what he was trying to explain. It was the same pull I had felt toward him from the moment I saw him in the café.
“Well, I am looking for new friends.” I glanced back down at my coffee because the way he was staring at me was a little intense. “Can you do that, Kane? Can you be my friend?”
I’m so embarrassed that I let all that fall out of my mouth like that. Could I have sounded anymore babyish? Can you be my friend? I felt the need to bang my head on the table in front of me, but I refrained.
Kane surprised me by reaching across the table to gently lay his hand on my wrist. I looked up at his face and am confused that he seems upset.
“Kelsey, I would never try to coerce you into sleeping with me. That was never my style anyway. And why would I not want to spend time with you? I won’t lie about it, your beauty is the first thing that attracted me to you. But in just the short time that we have got to talk, I have enjoyed our conversations and can’t help but feel I want to know you better. I would never pressure you into anything, and when I say anything, I mean it. Even about your past. When you feel comfortable with talking to me about it, know that I will be here to listen. Friendship is something I need at the moment too. So I should be asking you the same question. Can you be my friend, Kelsey?”
His lips turned up into a tiny smile and I smiled back. I’m glad he didn’t think I was a complete dork for asking for friendship. Things like that used to come so easy to me before. I never had to ask someone to be my friend. If it weren’t for the incident that changed my life forever, I would like to think that I would still have the same group of friends. But things change … people change, and life doesn’t always work out the way you think it will.
Taking my free hand, I laid it on top of his. “Friends it is.”
While I was so happy to have finally made a new friend—deep down in my gut, I found it hard to actually believe that one could stay just friends with someone who looks like Kane. I could be setting myself up for disaster, but at the moment, I’ll take friendship with him over nothing at all.