CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Indiana
After getting off the phone with my dad, I get my suitcase out of the wardrobe and place it on the bed. My heart is heavy, but I know I’m doing the right thing. I hope Carter understands. It’s going to take my dad a few hours to drive up here, but I want to be organised when he arrives. If I get it done now, it will give me extra time to spend with Carter before I leave.
As I open one of the drawers, I hear the front door slam before Carter comes barreling into the bedroom. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” he screams, making me jump. Shit he knows. Turning to face him, I can clearly see he’s hurt. My dad must’ve called him. Damn him. That’s the last thing I wanted. I would’ve liked a chance to explain it to Carter myself. I’m furious with my dad for interfering.
“It’s not what you think, Carter.” I speak in a soft, calming voice as I walk towards him.
“You’re leaving me?” is all he says, exhaling as his shoulders slump. The look on his face is one of complete devastation. It breaks my heart.
“I’m not leaving you, Carter. I’m just going home for a few days to give you a break. I’m worried about you. You’re not eating or sleeping properly. I’m interrupting your work … your life. I hate that you’re constantly worrying about me. I’m responsible for everything you’re going through. It would be selfish of me to stay under those circumstances.” I’m trying to reassure him as I speak. My arms reach out to him, but he pushes them away and steps back.
“You think I’m gonna worry any less when you’re two fucking hours away?” he yells, making me flinch. He’s never spoken to me so harshly before. The anger is rolling off him. When his hands thread through his hair, tears rise to my eyes. This is not how I wanted this to go down.
“You don’t need to do this, Carter. You didn’t sign on for this, I get that. I know what type of man you are. I know you’d never walk away, even if you wanted to. I’m giving you an easy out here.”
His hand reaches for me, roughly wrapping his fingers around the top of my arm as he forcefully tugs me towards him. “Listen to me,” he snarls, getting up in my face. “I’m gonna say this once and once only. I fucking love you, Indiana. For better or for worse. I don’t want a fucking out. Do you hear me? Don’t you dare make decisions based on what you think is best for me. Don’t you fucking dare.”
“I ... I,” is all I manage to get out. I can no longer hold the tears at bay as they freely flow down my cheeks. His face drops as soon as he notices them. He quickly lets go of my arm, pulling me into a crushing embrace.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers in a much calmer voice, “but you’re not fucking going anywhere, Indiana. That’s final.”
“I feel like I’m dragging you down with me. I don’t want to do that,” I cry into his chest. This whole situation is just too much. Pulling back from me, he cups my face in his hands. The anger that was in his eyes a few moments ago is now gone.
“You could never drag me down, babe. You’re my sunshine. Don’t you see that? Even with everything going on, you still brighten my day. I’d be fucking lost without you here.” He pulls me into him again, practically crushing me. “I promised you right from the beginning that we were in this together, and I meant every word. Please don’t leave. I need you here with me.”
When he finally let’s go, he grabs my hand and drags me towards the bed. He sits on the side of the mattress and pulls me down onto his lap, wrapping me in his arms. “We’re not leaving here until we sort this shit out,” he demands.
••••
We sat there for over an hour until everything was out in the open. I agreed to stay on the condition he pull back a bit, and stop letting my illness take over his life. Reluctantly he agreed. When I told him I needed to call my dad and tell him not to come, he said, “Don’t bother. I’ve already told him you’re staying.” Ugh! Presumptuous arse. I called my dad anyway, reassuring him that everything was okay.
Carter begrudgingly ended up going back to work. Later that night, there was no mention of what happened. We’d both had our say and had put it behind us. After dinner, we snuggled on the sofa and fell into easy conversation. Nothing deep. Nothing about my illness. Just normal, everyday things. It was nice.
“I’ve been thinking,” he says. Okay, this could be dangerous.
“About what?” I ask sceptically.
“Justine was talking about some girly spa place she goes to. Why don’t you let me book you in for a pamper day? It will do you good.” I tilt my head back and smile up at him, shrugging at the same time.
“I don’t know. It sounds lovely, but that’s something Meg and I always used to do together. It’ll be no fun on my own.”
“I could come with you.” I start laughing as I roll onto my stomach to face him.
“You’d go and get a facial and a Mani/Pedi?” I ask in disbelief, because that’s something I couldn’t imagine him doing.
“What’s a Mani/Pedi?”
“A manicure and pedicure.”
“Oh,” he deadpans, making me laugh again. “Yeah, maybe that’s not my thing.”
“It’s definitely not your thing,” I agree snuggling back into him.
••••
The following Friday, Carter takes me back to the John Hunter Hospital in New Lambton, to have my stitches removed from my chin. Yesterday I completed my second last week of the radiation therapy. Words can’t express how happy I am that it’s almost coming to an end.
Next week we have to stay for an extra day in Sydney, because Friday I’ll be having another scan and some blood work to see how successful the treatment has been. My headaches have practically ceased, so I’m confident we’re going to get good results. Well, I pray we do.
Things have been different between Carter and I this week. He’s really stepped back, which makes me feel so much better. He still fusses over me like a mother hen, but he seems a lot more relaxed. I’ve had a pretty good week as far as the side effects go. I still feel dreadful, but my nausea isn’t as bad so I’ve been able to keep most of my food down.
Mid-Saturday morning, Carter asked me to be showered, dressed, and ready by lunchtime. I didn’t ask why, I just presumed we were going out to eat. We do that often when I’m feeling okay.
I’m wearing a new pair of jeans and a nice top when he comes upstairs just after midday. I bought some new clothes last week because I’ve lost a few kilos since treatment started. Most of my clothes I can still wear, although they’re a little big on me now, but my jeans? No. I like them to be fitted.
“Grab your purse,” he says when he enters the apartment. “I’m taking an extended lunch break.”
“Where are we going?” I ask when he gives me a mischievous smile. He’s up to something, I can tell.
“The Day Spa.”
“What?”
“You said you didn’t want to go alone, so I’m going with you.” I can’t help it. I start laughing. Carter Reynolds at a day spa. This I gotta see.
“I thought you said a Mani/Pedi wasn’t your thing.”
“It’s not, but I want this for you, so I’m prepared to hand them my balls at the door. Don’t worry, I’ll collect them on my way out.” We’re both laughing as we walk down the stairs, heading for the car.
After parking down the street from the Day Spa, he walks around to my side to open my door. I’m still shocked that he’s actually here with me. I love that he would go to any lengths to make me happy.
While Carter closes my door and locks the car, I stand on the sidewalk and tilt my head back letting the sun’s rays hit my face, making my skin prickle. Although we’re in the middle of winter, it’s a beautiful sunny day. I feel my lips curve up after I inhale a large breath, taking the fresh air into my lungs. When I open my eyes, I find Carter staring down at me, with a sweet smile on his face.
“You okay?” he asks.
“Yeah. Just enjoying being outside.”
“It’s good to see,” is all he says, leaning down to kiss the top of my head.
Lacing his fingers through mine, we make our way down the street. I can’t tell you how good it feels to be out in the fresh air and sunshine again. I’ve been cooped up in that apartment way too much lately. A simple thing like being outdoors, was something I once took for granted. Not anymore. It’s funny how you realise just how important the little things are once they’ve been taken away from you.
“You sure you want to do this?” I ask.
“Positive,” he answers. “You need this, babe.”
“Have I told you how much I love you today?”
“Yes, but I’ll never get tired of hearing it,” he admits as he pulls our linked hands up towards his face and places a kiss on my fingers. “So feel free to tell me again.”
Carter pushes open the door of the spa, moving to the side so I can enter. I only make it a few steps before I’m stopped in my tracks. Tears instantly rise to my eyes. Oh. My. Fucking. God. Turning my head to look up at Carter, I find him gazing down at me with the biggest shit-eating grin on his face. “Surprise,” he says. Surprise is an understatement. I can’t believe he would do this for me.
Tears are now streaming down my cheeks as she rises from her seat in the foyer, closing the distance between us before engulfing me in her arms. I’m so overwhelmed. “Meg,” I whisper as I wrap my arms around her waist and squeeze her tight. I can’t believe she’s actually here in the flesh.
“I fucking missed you,” she cries, tightening her hold on me.
“I’ve missed you too. Like you wouldn’t believe.” I’m so overcome with joy right now.
She pulls back to make eye contact with me. Even though we’re both crying, we have huge smiles on our faces. She hugs me to her once more. We hold each other for the longest time. I don’t want to let her go.
Eventually, she takes a step back before reaching up and pinching my arm. “Ouch,” I say, frowning at her. “What was that for?”
“I can’t believe you’ve been sick and you didn’t tell me, bitch.” I can clearly hear the hurt in her voice.
“I didn’t want to worry you.” She takes me back into her arms and squeezes me again.
“I love you,” she whispers. “I want to know this shit. Don’t keep things from me.”
“I love you too, Meg. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”
••••
I had the most amazing day ever. Just having my bestie here has lifted my spirits like you wouldn’t believe. I couldn’t thank Carter enough when we got home, for what he’d done.
Apparently, he had stolen Meg’s number out of my phone and called her. She jumped on the first plane once she heard that I was sick. I’m not sure how long she’s staying, but I’m going to enjoy my time with her while she’s here.
Carter had booked us in for the full spa package. We were there for over four hours. We had a therapeutic Hydro Bath, exfoliating treatment, hot stone massage, a facial, and of course a manicure and pedicure. It even included lunch. It was just what my tired body needed. I felt revitalised when I walked out of there. As amazing as it was, just spending time catching up with Meg was the highlight for me.
••••
When Carter finishes his last job for the day, he finds Meg and I chatting on the sofa when he walks into the apartment. Making his way towards us he bends down, brushing his lips against mine.
“I’m gonna have a quick shower, then I’m taking you two out for dinner,” he says smiling down at me.
“Okay,” I reply returning the smile. My eyes are glued to his arse as he turns and makes his way towards our bedroom. He is still refusing to have sex with me. It’s getting to the stage now that I’m tempted to tie him to the bed in his sleep, just so I can have my way with him.
I know the abstaining isn’t easy on him either. Every time we’ve made out he’s gotten hard, but has refused to let me do anything to relieve him. I hate it. I know how much I’m suffering, so I can only imagine how he feels.
We no longer shower together. Not only did it make me feel like an invalid that he felt the need to wash me, but the temptation of being naked together and not being able to take it further became too hard. Wednesday was the first time in weeks that we did. I was complaining about not being able to wash my hair because of the stitches in my chin, so he offered to wash it for me. He sat me on the stupid plastic chair and removed the showerhead from the cradle. After gently tilting my head back, he washed my hair from behind, careful not to wet my face.
When he was done, I stood and turned around to find his beautiful penis standing proud. He was hard as a rock. Enough was enough. I wrapped my fingers around his shaft, and even when he protested I refused to let go.
It only took a few strokes from my hand for his head to fall back and a loud groan to escape him before he relented. He needed it, and he knew it. It had been weeks since he’d had any relief. That didn’t sit well with me. I know how important sex is to him, and I hated that he was going without. I trusted that he wouldn’t go elsewhere because I know how much he loves me, but I wanted to do it for him.
With one of his arms wrapped around my waist holding me up, his lips met mine. His other hand moved down between my legs and his fingers circled my clit as I continued to work him over.
Within minutes our bodies were trembling as we moaned into each other’s mouths, coming undone together. His grip tightened on my waist when my legs threatened to give way from the intensity of it. One thing is for sure; holding out seems to make those orgasms all the more sweeter. When we finally do get to go all the way again, it’s going to be explosive.
Although it wasn’t even close to what either of us really wanted to do to each other, it was enough to take the edge off.
Unbeknownst to him, I have big plans for tomorrow night. We will be having sex. That you can be sure of. I’ve taken all the necessary precautions to make sure that happens. He’s not going to know what hit him.