CHAPTER TWELVE
Indiana
My lips are still tingling even after Carter leaves. I’m grateful for everything he’s done for both me and my dad. He’s been so supportive. I’m not sure how I would’ve got through yesterday without him. As pissed as I was that he forced me to go to the doctor in the first place, I’m thankful for it now. It was the push I needed. He only had my best interests at heart. I can’t be mad at him for that.
It may just be the difference between living and dying. My mum waited years before getting her diagnosis. Thanks to Carter, I only waited weeks. I at least have a fighting chance of kicking this tumour’s arse. Sadly, my mum didn’t have that luxury.
It’s made me think a lot about everything she went through. I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t upset me. I hate that she waited so long to see someone, despite my father’s pleas. If she hadn’t, there’s a good chance I may not have had to grow up without a mother. My dad may not have had to live without his soulmate.
My poor dad. I’m gonna fight this motherfucking tumour with everything I have. I refuse to let this be the end for me. I refuse to bring more heartache to him. This would destroy him, I know it. After mum passed, having me to care for was the only thing that gave him the will to carry on. To keep existing.
After I shower, I make my way into the kitchen to find him sitting at the table drinking coffee. Carter was right: he does look like death warmed up. “Morning, Daddy,” I say in a chirpy voice. Today I’m feeling optimistic. The tears I shed last night will be my final ones. I refuse to shed anymore. Positive thinking from this day forward. No matter what the MRI shows, I’m going to live every day to the fullest. I refuse to live like I’m dead while I’m still alive.
“Morning, Pumpkin. How are you feeling this morning?”
“A lot better than you by the looks of it,” I reply as I walk towards him, wrapping my arms around his neck from behind and kissing his cheek. He clears his throat, a slight red tinge appearing on his handsome face.
“I’m happy to hear that,” he says. “I’m sorry about the way I acted yesterday …” Removing my arms, I take a seat next to him.
“You have nothing to be sorry about. I understand how hard this is for you. I’m sorry that you have to go through this again. We’re going to beat this, Daddy. I promise.” I reach for his hand and grasp it in mine. “Okay?” Meeting my gaze, he smiles.
“Okay.” Squeezing his hand, I rise. No more talk of tumours today.
“Now, what would you like for breakfast? Carter and Elizabeth will be here soon. The four of us are going out for the day.”
“Some toast will be fine, Pumpkin,” he says smiling. It doesn’t quite reach his eyes, but at least he’s trying.
••••
We end up driving to the Blue Mountains. It’s just over an hour’s drive from where we live. Apparently, this is the area where Carter grew up. It’s a beautiful place. I understand why he said wear something warm. It gets pretty cold up here. In winter it’s not uncommon to see snow.
Parking the car when we arrive at Katoomba, we all get out. Dad offered to drive today. Carter’s car is only a two-door, so getting in and out of the back seat can be a pain in the arse. Dad and Elizabeth sat in the front. Carter and I were in the back. He reached for my hand before we even got out of our street, and he held it all the way here. I love the feel of my hand wrapped in his.
My dad walks around the front of the car and helps Elizabeth out, while Carter gets out on his side and offers me his hand. I grab my woollen beanie and scarf off the seat beside me before sliding over. Carter takes the scarf out of my hand and wraps it around my neck, while I place the beanie on my head.
“You look so cute,” he says tugging on my scarf and pulling me forward, placing a tiny kiss on my nose. Have I mentioned how much I love this side of him? He can say and do the sweetest things sometimes. Lacing his fingers through mine, we walk towards the lookout to see the large rock formation known as the Three Sisters, and the breathtaking Jamison Valley below.
Carter explained the large sandstone rock eroded away over time creating the three tall rock formations that sit side by side, towering over the beautiful valley. Aboriginal legend says, that three sisters who fell in love with three men from a neighbouring tribe, causing a war to break out, were turned into stone becoming trapped forever. Hence the name.
Even though he grew up in the area, I’m surprised by his knowledge. When I asked him about it, he confessed he came here a few times on school excursions when he was a boy.
I can’t believe how vast and beautiful this place is. I’ve always known of its existence, but sadly have never visited until now. After zipping up my coat, I wrap my arms around myself. The icy wind has a real bite to it.
“Are you cold?” Carter asks draping his arm around my shoulder, pulling me into him. I smile to myself.
Once we’ve looked around up top, Carter suggests we ride the Scenic Railway down the cliffside to the valley below. Apparently, it’s a really steep drop, so Elizabeth ops out. My dad offers to take her for a coffee in the café, so Carter and I can still go.
Holy crap, steep is not the word. It’s a fifty-two percent incline, earning the title of the steepest passenger railway in the world. You also have the option to recline your seat back another twenty percent, which of course we did. Carter holds me tight against him on the journey down, which to me is the best part. Again, he links his fingers through mine as we walk the tracks of the valley below.
We fall into easy conversation as we walk along. When we come to a stop by a beautiful waterfall, Carter pulls out his phone to take a selfie of us. He drapes his arm around my shoulder and pulls me in against his side. “Smile, beautiful,” he says. After snapping a few shots, he releases me and places the phone back in his pocket. Presuming we’re going to continue on down the trail, I take a step forward. “I’m not finished with you yet,” he says reaching for me and pulling me back to him. Turning me in his arms, he cups my face in his hands. The look he gives me has my heart melting. He looks like I feel—happy. “I’m going to kiss you now,” he warns before covering my mouth with his.
It’s another one of those sweet, hot kisses that has me weak at the knees. My arms slide around his waist and my hands fist the back of his jacket to hold myself up. Opening my mouth slightly, I deepen the kiss when his tongue meets mine. This is not the kind of kiss that you would call acceptable for a public place, but I don’t care. I’m too lost in him to give a shit.
I can’t even put it into words what being here with him in this magical place feels like. I can’t remember the last time I felt this happy, this alive. Not once have I thought about my illness and what lies ahead. Not once. Instead, I’m lost in every look, every word, and every touch from Carter. I’m consumed by him.
••••
It’s late in the afternoon by the time we arrive back home. When we finally made our way back up the mountain to our parents, Carter suggested we head to Leura for lunch. It’s a quaint little town, with the cutest little shops, galleries, cafés and restaurants.
We ate in a nice place complete with a fireplace, which was a welcome escape from the cold. All the food was made with local produce. It had wall to ceiling glass windows that overlooked the valley below. The food and the company were amazing. Today was something that we all needed: a nice escape from the dramas awaiting us back home.
The only downfall was it had to come to an end. I enjoyed every second of my time with Carter. When my dad and I came inside, and Carter and his mum went to their house, I can’t even explain the emptiness I felt. After Dad and I had dinner, I went to my bedroom, hoping Carter would be in his room so I could catch a glimpse. Sadly he wasn’t.
Eventually, I gave up and headed in for a shower. It had been a big day, and to be honest I was tired. The quicker I got to sleep, the faster tomorrow would come. That meant I’d get to see Carter again. It’s funny how quickly I’ve become attached to him. I guess, even after he left all those years ago, he still held my heart. In a way we’ve just picked up where we left off.
Later as I lay in bed, all I can think about is him. He’s proven over the past week how much he cares. Maybe it’s time I take down the walls I’ve erected around my heart and let him back in.