Chapter 11

Ella

I stand at the door to my building, I’m not really sure what I’m expecting, but this is what you do after a date… you stand at your door and say goodbye, usually with a kiss. Why did I do that? Why did I ever think that was a good idea? It was the heat of the moment, I’m sure he knows that. Just a silly mistake… one that I really want to make again.

And again and again…

This is exactly what I wanted to avoid! Why do I always fall so fast? I barely even know the guy. I just know that he’s fun, sweet, cute and sexy, so sexy. Okay, just calm down and say goodnight.

“So,” I say, unable to look him in the eye.

“Yeah,” he nods, looking at me in a kind of ‘accepting, though not really understanding why’ kind of way.

He’s so sweet, I feel really bad for leading him on.

“That shouldn’t have…” Come on, apologize properly, this is your fault. “I shouldn’t have done that. It, it was silly.” I can barely look him in the eyes.

“Yeah, I guess it was.”

He’s blushing. I wish I could know what he’s thinking. Whether he likes me like I like him. But I really should hurry this goodnight along.

“I had a really good night, and uh… I’ll see you tomorrow,” I say, guessing he does want me to come back.

“Yes, tomorrow,” he says, grinning. He’s got such an amazing smile. “I’m glad you had a good time.”

He pauses for a moment. Is he ok?

“See you tomorrow, Ella” he says offering his hand to shake.

Aw, that’s so adorably awkward. But, I’d rather have a hug.

I move his hand aside and pull him into a hug. He’s been so great to me tonight and I’m really glad he didn’t make a big deal about that accidental kiss. I can’t help laughing as I give him a goodnight kiss on the cheek.

Oh shit, I can’t handle it.

I’m trying to pull away but I can’t. There’s a heat between us, just like that moment in the limo, it’s so hard to ignore! The music in my head is rising and everyone watching is counting on the protagonist to go for it!

I can’t take it anymore! I pull him close and our lips crash together. Did he go for it as well?

He’s kissing me back! YES! She sticks the landing!

It’s an extremely passionate moment and I never want it to end, I can’t help squeezing his waist, but why? I’ve never felt like this about someone so early on!

He’s moving his hands over my body, just like in my dream! He embraces me a little tighter and, oh shit! I can feel his—oh, it’s so hard already! Wow he must really like me! He’s pressed right up against me and—

Oh, I can’t do this! Shit! Stop now before it’s too late!

I laugh awkwardly, trying to cover up my terror as I pull away. “What are we doing...?” I ask, sighing.

“Well, I thought it was pretty obvious…?” he says. I really hope he doesn’t expect anything now.

“I work for you, and you’ve got to go pick up your daughter. We can’t do this if it will end up with her getting left or forgotten about. It’s late… you should go get her.” I try to smile as I speak, knowing it’s not the real reason why. But it’s a decent reason and he seems to understand.

He sighs, “You’re right. I should go, this... this isn’t right. Friends...?” he puts his hand out again and I shake it. It’s a good final move, I think?

Joe gets in his limo and gets driven away. This is ridiculous. I’m such an embarrassment! Like I can’t even keep a handle on my emotions and I acted like a slut.

I sigh and trudge back into my apartment. I’ve got work tomorrow, it’s fine. We’ll be fine. I flop down onto my bed and have a small tantrum, kicking clothes onto the floor.

Just sleep. Tomorrow will be fine.

I guess.

“I can’t believe you almost let me leave…” Joe whispers to me.

It appears that he’s visiting me in my dreams again. Why can’t you just leave me alone! This is starting to feel like such a school girl crush. But I swear he likes me too, and I know we’d be great, but I’m sure we can’t. If anything went wrong, I couldn’t bear it.

We crash through my door and land on my bed, and our clothes seem to disappear as we kiss. I love kissing him so much and I know what it really feels like now, what his lips feel like, and where his hands tend to move. I can’t stand it. I just want him to take me whenever I see him!

How am I supposed to work in these conditions? I know what it’s like to kiss him now, and I’m going to have to hold back!

He softly bites into my neck, causing me to moan. I suppose I don’t have to think about being professional here in my own dream. I can be whoever I want to be inside my head.

“Do you trust me?” he whispers, his hands ghosting over my exposed skin.

“Of course,” I whisper back. I can hear him laughing a little, what’s he going to do? What possible thing could my mind have cooked up? I suppose there was that rope I found in the back of his wardrobe.

He’s not going to know that I’ve never even thought about this kind of thing! Now I’m dreaming about it.

I look up to see Joe standing at the foot of my bed, he’s fully erect and grinning, with a black feather in one hand and a blindfold in the other. My hands are tied to my headboard and my legs are bound, spread as wide apart as they go. I can’t help giggling, naughty boy, Joe. What are you going to do to me?

He leans over me, trailing kisses up from my waist, over my breasts and up to my neck. He puts the blindfold on me, triggering my other senses. Now I can feel his gentle touches so vividly that my skin prickles as he brushes past me, making me shiver. I can smell his cologne, just like last night.

This is so strange. I have no clue what he’s about to do, and it’s so exciting!

“Oh!” I shudder as he gently moves the feather over my breasts. My nipples are so sensitive as they harden, begging for his kisses.

I can’t help giggling as the feather moves to my hips. I’m extremely ticklish there. He moves back to my breasts, and I inhale sharply. Then nothing for a moment, he’s making me wait and it’s excruciating.

I wish he would just fuck me like he did in my dream the other night. It was so passionate and crazy… like nothing I’ve felt before. Joe always makes me feel like that, when we kissed earlier and on our date. It was incredible.

I can feel his breath against my inner thigh. I shiver and he kisses between my legs, moving closer and closer to my clitoris. Suddenly I feel a soft and warm sensation. He’s moving his tongue up my lips. He’s moving painfully slowly and I have to scrunch up my toes to keep from shaking. His tongue is amazing. I wish I could feel it for real… I want him to kiss me all over, taste my intimate flesh and make me his forever. The way he licks me down there is just insane, I didn’t know someone could be so good at it!

He’s probably had a lot of practice. But he wants to use all of his power on me now. I’m his naughty little thing, and he can do what he wants to me, whenever he wants.

I feel like I’m soaking down there as he moves his finger up through my lips. I shudder and gasp as he slowly inserts his finger inside me. He starts off slow, moving in as far as he can go, then slowly pulling out again, stimulating the soft squishy part inside me that makes me want to scream.

I want him to make me cum, not like my last dream where I just woke up wanting. I want to feel it just like I would in real life. I can’t take how much I want him! He speeds up and I start to writhe. He places his hand on my chest and holds me down, and suddenly—I feel like I can’t move. It’s like I can’t breathe. I want him to stop—please stop!

I wake up abruptly, sitting up in a cold sweat and panting like I’ve just been running a marathon. I can’t keep thinking about him like this! Why did it start to get scary at the end? It was just like… just like the last time. I can’t do that again. That was the worst day of my life, and I can’t think of Joe like that! He’s never done anything to hurt me, especially like that.

This needs to stop. I don’t even know what it feels like at all, because of that.

I’m twenty-four years old and I’m still a virgin! How can I even show my face to someone like him? He’s probably been with tons of women, and left a trail of them in sex comas after giving them the best orgasm of their lives.

I’m just a naive girl who doesn’t know anything about sex and I’m thinking all this crazy stuff about a guy that I’ve barely kissed. And he’s my boss for heaven’s sake! I’m supposed to be a good role model for his daughter, but all I’m doing is throwing myself at a man I barely know. That’s a great lesson for Marnie, isn’t it? If you fancy someone, just be as needy as possible and eventually they’ll come around.

Ugh, I’m literally the worst. I bet he thinks I’m crazy! Saying one thing, then doing another.

Oh God, what if he knows? What if he knows I’m really just some kid, clinging to my innocence like a security blanket?

No, I... forget it.

I sigh to myself as I get out of bed, a shower will help clear my head. I need to have a serious think about this… and everything else.

As I drop my joggers to the floor and throw off my yoga top, I take a look at my body in the mirror.

My face, cute I guess… still as freckled as I was when I was little, and maybe my eyebrows need looking at, but it’s not bad. I always thought my frame was a little dumpy, but I think it’s just because I’m short. I’m actually quite skinny.

Tits… I guess they’re quite perky and kind of cute, but I’ve not really seen a lot of tits before, so I don’t really have much to compare them to.

Which brings me to you… not really sure what to call it? A pussy…? Well, I’ve definitely only seen mine so, it could be hideous for all I know.

Now, on to what my dreams seem to miss. I turn to see the scars on my rib cage, barely noticeable now. But I can still see them, a few faint scratches and a splotch where a large bruise once was.

Not really much I can do about it. I’ve gotten away from it now. I’ve recovered and taken huge steps from who I was back then. And from what he did to me.

I’ve never felt like that about anyone before or since, but now…Joe. It’s been a few days and already I’m acting like none of those things even matter. The way Joe looks at me sometimes, it’s like I’m a princess.

I guess that’s why I stopped him last night. I didn’t want him to know about who I was. Because I know that if I hadn’t stopped him, he would have come up to my room and I would have let go of everything and he would have seen it all, all my scars. And he wouldn’t like me after that. Who would?

He won’t find out. Because I’m not going to tell him.

Anyway, what was I doing? Oh yeah, shower. Very cold shower.