The following morning, I wake up in Aiden’s arms. The light is just peeking through the windows. It’s warm out and we are covered only by a sheet, and that’s enough. I have to pinch myself to make sure that this moment is real. Am I really lying next to the man of my dreams on a beautiful yacht in the middle of the warm Caribbean when it’s below freezing back home?

I look over at him. He’s barely stirring.

“I love you,” I whisper. He smiles without opening his eyes.

“I love you, too,” he mumbles.

I stare at his tan skin and chiseled jaw, waiting for him to wake up. A few moments later, he finally looks at me.

“You know, I can feel you staring at me,” he says.

“I know.”

Aiden stretches his arms above his head and arches his back. The sheet falls to the side, exposing my breasts and his perfect six pack. I run my fingers down his abs and lick my lips.

“You’re going to kill me, woman.”

“Hey, I’m just enjoying the moment. Not instigating anything, right?”

“Yeah, right.” He laughs. “Okay, fine, since you’re up and wide awake, I have something to ask you.”

With one swift motion, he climbs on top of me and cradles my face in between his arms.

“What?”

Aiden pulls the sheet over us, making a little cocoon. Now, we are in our own little world, away from everything that’s horrible and wrong.

“You are the most beautiful woman in the world,” Aiden says. “But that’s not why I want to ask you this.’

“Okay…”

“Ellie, whenever I’m around you, I want to be a better version of myself. You make me want to be a better man. And that’s why I want to ask you to be my wife.”

I stare at him, dumbfounded.

“Will you marry me, Ellie?”

The last time the answer came so easily. I just looked into his eyes and the answer just spilled out. But now? I don’t know why, but I feel myself hesitating. It has nothing to do with the moment. This place, this setting, is perfect. And yet, I can’t bring myself to say yes.

“I don’t know,” I say. Aiden’s mouth drops open in disappointment.

“Why?”

“I don’t know. I mean, I said yes before and then everything just sort of got so complicated and now…now, I don’t know.”

He nods as if he understands, but he doesn’t. I barely understand it myself. I have no idea why I’m saying no except that there’s this voice inside of me that’s telling me that this isn’t right. Not right now. I mean, I love him. I really do. And I want to spend all of my time with him. But I don’t know if I can commit to be his wife. Not yet.

“I don’t know if you know this, but I never really wanted to get married. I mean, little girls grow up imagining what their weddings will be like and where they will go on a honeymoon. But I was never like that. Marriage always felt a little bit like a trap. I mean, I have no problem making a commitment to you. I love you. It’s just the wedding and everything that goes along with it.”

Aiden listens and nods. “Well, just know that there’s no pressure. I mean, we don’t have to have a big ceremony, if that’s what’s freaking you out. We don’t even have to invite anyone if you don’t want to. We can just elope. Or not.”

Hmm, elope. That does sound nice.

“You mean, just go to the courthouse and that’s it?”

He nods.

“Maybe. That does make me feel a little better.” He smiles at me and gives me a warm hug.

“I never thought I wanted to get married again,” Aiden says after a while. “I mean, my first time wasn’t amazing so I was sort of over the whole thing. But then I met you. And it’s not like I want to pin you down to anything. I just want to tell you that I want to be with you. That’s all. Forever. And if that doesn’t mean marriage to you, that’s fine. I’m totally fine with that. I’m happy as long as you want to spend your life with me.”

“I do. Very much so,” I say, giving him a big kiss.

A private ceremony. I never really considered that before, but why not? No big dress, no huge wedding that would make me the center of attention. Now, that sounds more like it.

“I’m not sure Caroline would approve,” I joke.

“Of what?”

“Of a courthouse wedding. She loves lavish parties and any reason to get dressed up. I think she will kill me if we just go to the courthouse in jeans.”

“Well, it’s not her wedding, is it?”

“No, it’s not.”

I sit up in bed and look out at the bright blue ocean outside the balcony. Perhaps, the thing that makes me not want to get married is the party itself. I mean, being with Aiden for the rest of my life? I can make that commitment in a second. It’s a no-brainer. I love him and I want to be with him every waking hour of every day. But hosting a lavish wedding where I am the center of attention? Most women would love that. All eyes on them, celebrating their beauty. But me? No, that’s not my cup of tea. In fact, I usually go out of my way not to have attention on me. That’s why I write under a pseudonym. I like my life private.

“Ellie?”

“Yes?”

“I just want to be with you. For however long you will have me. And if you don’t want to get married, that’s totally fine. And if you change your mind, that’s fine, too. I won’t ask you anymore as long as you promise me one thing.”

“What’s that?”

“That you will stay with me as long as you love me and not a minute longer.”

“What do you mean?” I ask, taken a little aback by this statement.

“I never want to be one of those couples that are together just because they’ve invested too much time in their relationship. I love you. And I believe I always will. I know you love me and I think you always will. But, if for some reason, you suddenly don’t. Like in a year or ten or fifty. It doesn’t matter. If you don’t love me anymore, then I want you to leave. You deserve to be happy and if that’s not with me, then I want you to go out and find someone you will love with all of your heart. I want you to be happy, Ellie.”

I smile. He presses his lips to mine and I lose myself in the kiss.