Lying next to her in the afterglow of our lovemaking, I wrap one of her long strands of hair around my finger. We are actually engaged. I’m not sure if we will get married before or after the baby, but I’m overjoyed by the prospect that we actually will. I’m going to have a wife. No, that doesn’t sound as good as it could. Ellie is going to be my wife. Now, that’s much better.

“You have beautiful hair,” I whisper. Her eyes are closed, but she’s not asleep. She gives me a little smile without stirring.

“Ellie?”

“Hmmm?”

“I don’t really want to bring this up again, but I sort of have to,” I say, choosing my words carefully. Not only do I not want to bring it up, but this is the last thing I want to talk about.

“Okay,” she mumbles and turns away from me. “I’m listening.”

I take a deep breath. This did not go well the last time we talked about it.

“What do you think about the whole Caroline thing?” I ask. She turns around to face me.

I don’t say anything else. Instead, I wait for her to answer.

“I think you did the right thing,” she says. “I’m sorry I got so upset last time.”

I nod. “I wasn’t fishing for an apology.”

“I know,” she says. “But I was thinking about it and I think you’re right. Caroline could’ve easily not told me a thing about her on-purpose overdose. She could’ve gone to her grave that way. But she didn’t. She wanted someone to know the truth. I’m just sorry that person had to be me.”

“You would’ve rather thought that she died by accident?”

“I don’t know,” she says, shrugging. “I just really miss my friend. But I want Tom to pay for what he did. I want him to suffer.”

“So if the DA wants you to come in for a statement?” I ask.

“I’ll go to Maine.”

I smile. I’m glad that she feels this way. I don’t want Tom to get away with what he did any more than I want Blake to get away with it.

“That sort of brings me to the other district attorney conversation,” I say. “My attorney said that the DA is planning on pressing charges against Blake for what happened on the yacht. Or at least, he’s trying to build a case.”

She nods, without meeting my gaze. Being involved in this case is much more difficult. She is the victim here. And though Tom attacked her at the Warrenhouse’s party as well, it wasn’t a sexual attack. Sexual attacks are always more difficult to talk about, especially for women. They are more sensitive. They are more embarrassing.

“I know that this is so stupid,” Ellie says after a long pause. “But I just feel like such an idiot about what happened. I mean, I know that it’s not my fault, but it feels like it is.”

“It’s not! Not at all. He attacked you. You were completely helpless.”

“Yeah, I know that. Intellectually. But not down here,” Ellie says, pointing to her heart. “And not down here,” she adds, pointing to her gut.

“Ellie—“ I try to find words that will make the pain go away.

“That’s probably how Caroline felt,” she says. “Terrified, petrified, and mortified. And what Blake did to me, well that was nothing in comparison to what Tom did.”

I nod. I wish there was something I could do to take all the pain away. But while I try to figure out what that is, I wrap my arms around her and press her close to me.

“Do you want me to kill him?” I ask, only half-joking. She waits for a moment before answering. “No, if anyone should do it, I should do it.”

We both laugh a little bit. I don’t know about her, but after everything he has put us through, I’m not even half-joking. It’s more like five percent joking, ninety-five percent not joking.

“What do you think you want to do about Blake?” I ask.

“I’m going to talk to the DA. I want to press charges, if he thinks my testimony is enough for that. Blake is a bad guy and everyone needs to know what he did to me.”

“And about the auction?” I ask. “All of that is going to come out.”

“I won’t do it, if you don’t want me to,” she says.

“Oh, hell no. Please don’t misunderstand. I want him to pay. And, frankly, I don’t really care if all that shit about the auction comes out. It was just a little game. Everyone consented. Everyone was of age. No one got paid to have sex with anyone. Even if they did, that’s not what they were paid for, legally. My attorneys can spin it any which way and the public relations people will do the rest. I’m just concerned about you. How you’re going be going through all of this.”

“I’ll be fine,” she says.

“Promise me one thing, okay, Ellie?” I ask. “Promise me that if you ever feel hopeless, lost, or depressed that you will come to me and tell me. I will get you help. I will help you. I will be here for you no matter what.”

“I promise,” she says a little too quickly.

“I just never want you to feel the way Caroline did. I mean, how horrible she must’ve felt to do what she did. It just breaks my heart.”

“Me, too,” she says with a tear running down her cheek.

“I’m here for you, Ellie. No matter what. Please come to me with anything, no matter what. You’re not alone.”

Ellie leans over to kiss me.

“I think I’m going to be sick,” she says. The serene expression on her face vanishes as she gets up to run to the bathroom.

The cold air hit me like a truck as soon as I stepped outside. Is this winter ever going to end? I imagine lying on the deck of my yacht in the Caribbean with Ellie and my heart yearns for it. She can throw up just as well down there as she can here. But at least it would be warm and nice out. And I can walk around in flip-flops without a t-shirt instead of a pair of heavy winter boots, two sweaters, a coat, a hat, and a scarf. Fuck, I hate the cold.

Winter always looks like this magical, wonderful time of the year in magazines and in the movies. But in reality, it’s a black, slushy mess. It requires way too many clothes and the darkness makes everyone depressed and unhappy. The days never last long enough at all. Sometimes, it’s so cloudy that the sun doesn’t even make an appearance for days.

I know that I shouldn’t moan about this. I’m very lucky. I have my job back. I have a baby on the way. And my girlfriend finally agreed to marry me. The beginning of the year has started out magnificently for me. And yet, I can’t help but wonder how much better I’d feel if the sun was shining all the time and it was seventy-five degrees out.

I trot over to the bagel place at the end of the street. It’s not far enough away to drive to and I can’t possibly hail a cab or get an Uber for such a short distance. Yet, walking a whole city block in this cold is a significant exercise.

“Aiden!” someone yells behind me. “Aiden!”

I know his voice. How could I not? But I don’t want to turn around. I just want him to leave. Why the fuck can’t he just leave me alone?

“You were at Ellie’s house,” Blake says. It’s more of a statement than a question. “Why won’t you turn around? Are you too chicken-shit to face me?”

“No, I’m not,” I say. Unlike last time, Blake isn’t drunk. He’s fully in control of himself and he’s still an asshole.

“Don’t tell me you and Ellie are…together.”

“Yes, we are.”

“The papers made it seem like you were just fucking.”

“We are.”

I don’t know why I’m engaging with him about this. I don’t really care. Except that he was once a very important person in my life. He was one of my closest friends. My confidant. The only person who knew what it was like to grow Owl from my dorm room to what it is now, the biggest competitor to Amazon.

“What are you doing, Blake?” I ask. “Why are you here?”

“I’m here to see Ellie.”

“You can’t.”

“Yes, I can!”

“Blake, please. Go home.”

“The DA is pressing charges,” he says. “Do you know that? Your bitch of a girlfriend is going to testify against me.”

“Listen, why don’t you just go and fuck yourself?” I say as calmly as possible. He’s looking to get a rise out of me. And it’s working. My blood is starting to boil. I take a deep breath. As much as I want to punch him in the throat, I can’t get into a fight right now. I just got my job back at Owl. It’s still a tenuous situation. I’m not sure how long I will hold onto it if the shareholders see a picture of me in some gossip magazine punching out the previous CEO. No, you have to stay calm, Aiden, I say to myself. You’re going to get some fresh bagels and tea, so keep walking. I turn around and pick up my step.

“Hey! Hey! You think you’re too good for me?”

I ignore him.

“I insult your girlfriend and you just keep walking. Who the fuck do you think you are?”

Keep going, Aiden, I say to myself.

“I’m three times the man that you are. I should’ve had my way with her when I had the chance so that now she’d know what she is missing.”

That’s it. I turn around and lunge at him. I toss him onto the ground and start to pound him in the face. The first few blows send shockwaves through my hands. I haven’t punched anyone like this in…ages. Actually, I’ve never punched anyone like this. But I haven’t been in a fight since middle school.

A few of my punches miss and my balled up fists collide with the pavement. My whole body aches from the shock.

“Fuck!” I scream in his face. I pull away from him and stare at the limp body of my ex-best friend laying before me. For a moment, I’m not sure if he’s dead. My heart jumps into my chest. No, no, no. Please don’t be dead. Please, please, please.

That’s when I see his chest moving up and down with each labored breath.

Okay, good. He’s okay.

I look around. There are not that many people out, but it’s not like the street is completely deserted. If I go back to Ellie’s now, this whole thing will just blow over. And if he’s seriously hurt? Well, someone is bound to come by and help. There’s no way that I’m going to be making that call to the police.

I force myself to my feet. My whole body aches.

“Fuck you, Blake,” I say and stagger past him back in the direction of Ellie’s apartment.

And then…everything turns to black.