Chapter Sixteen
I woke to the sound of a bell tolling somewhere off in my drug induced dream. Or maybe it was just the doorbell. Damn. Groaning, I slowly attempted to get up and out of bed. It wasn’t pretty but eventually I managed to shuffle to the door and angrily swung it open only to find Frankie juggling her phone, groceries and a bunch of other stuff. She looked up and screamed!
“George, I thought you were dead! What took you so long? Sam left you the schedule didn’t she?”
“Schedule? What schedule?”
“The care schedule, silly! I’m late for my seven a.m. start and since you weren’t answering I thought you were comatose or something.”
She pushed past me, set all her stuff down and returned to grab and guide me into my kitchen where she pulled out a chair and sat me down. “Frankie, I don’t really need a care giver schedule. I’m fine. Really.”
“Really? Fine? Have you looked in a mirror today?”
“What? No, of course not. You just woke me up.”
“Well, you need us, George. Believe it and just accept the help and be fine with it for once. People want to help you ok? Besides, if you ever have a certain someone visit you, you’re going to want to be looking a little more presentable. Or maybe not, come to think of it. Maybe you want to be looking a little run over. Get that sympathy vote.”
“What? The sympathy vote? What are you talking about?”
“You know. Finn. Finn the man of my dreams and now yours.” She looked so cute and happy, that I couldn’t break her bubble just now. I just heaved a huge, defeated sigh and slumped over.
“Ok, first thing. Are you back on coffee?”
“Yes, coffee please.”
“OK, coffee and then shower and then breakfast.”
I noticed the counter had a binder on it that looked suspiciously like Sam’s home office material. “What’s that?”
“That’s the schedule, girl.” She opened the book to show me the schedule. “Jesus, Sam’s outdone herself this time. I am drawing the line at bathroom duty though. Please, leave me with some dignity people.”
“Well, I don’t know. We were forbidden to amend the schedule without Sam’s approval.”
“Please Franks. Give me an ever loving break. It’s my life and I am drawing lines. Ok, you make coffee and I am going to go to the bathroom if that’s allowed in the schedule?”
“Yes, you go but do you want your walkie talkie?” I just continued walking and pretended I didn’t hear that last request. When I got to the bedroom I needed a break. It was exhausting this walking around thing. I sat down on my bed and noticed that my phone was flashing with a message. Oh shit, I had it on silent. I probably have a dozen missed messages from Sam. If Frankie hadn’t gotten here, she probably would have called the ambulance shortly.
I swiped it on and noticed I did indeed have 15 missed texts from Sam and 1 missed call. From Finn. Shit, shit. shit. I dialled the voice mail and let his words wash over me.
“George, it’s me. Um, just wanted to see how you were? We left things a little off kilter when I left you at the hospital and well, I guess I was just wondering what’s in that amazing head of yours. I just want to ask you not to overthink this as I know you are. Ok, so, just be safe and know I am thinking about you and need to talk to you.” He finished off by whispering the sexiest I miss you ever heard by mankind, and woman kind.
I sighed a deep sigh and held my head in my hands. What was I going to do? He was obviously amazing. Kind, super-hot, financially independent and persistent. I mean really, what did he see in me? Ok, first thing’s first. Go to the bathroom and then attempt a shower without losing all my dignity, then spend the day away sorting out my life.
I shuffled into the bathroom and took the longest shower I had ever taken. It felt amazing but completely exhausted me. I shuffled back into my room and promptly fell into a comatose state wearing only a towel on my head and a tattered old AC/DC t-shirt.
However many hours later I slowly become aware that I was not alone in my room.
You know that feeling that you get when someone is staring at you? I had that, along with an excruciating pain in my side. Damn, I totally forgot to take a pill prior to passing out. When I got the energy back to open my eyes, I decided if it wasn’t for the intense pain I would think I just might still be asleep and having one of those amazing dreams. You know the one. The one where you are just about to get THERE with a guy and then you wake up but that feeling still lingers? Yeah, that one. Well, I had opened my eyes to my dream guy and his name was Finn Lowry and he was sitting in my lounger staring right at me.
He smiled that smile he was being paid obscene amounts for and I decided I was definitely still dreaming.
“No George, you aren’t dreaming.”
Shit, did I say that last part out loud? Maybe I did take some drugs or Frankie force fed me them while I slept.
“Holy shit on a sheepdog Finn. When did you become a creepy stalker? Are you auditioning for a new pyscho role?”
He laughed that amazing, warm rich laugh I loved so much and said nothing.
So then came the uncomfortable silence. I wasn’t sure I was ready for this conversation. He fluidly got up out of the chair and prowled across the room. Why did I not blow dry my hair after my shower? My damp, stanky hair was plastered over my forehead and I am sure the bags and dark circles under my eyes were being enhanced by my highlights glued to my face.
He stopped beside me and reached down to gently grab my hips and shift me over. Ow, ow, ow, oh wow, that left a nice tingle.
Still not speaking, he sat down and stretched out beside the length of me, his front to my side and propped his head up in one hand.
“Frankie has left,” he said. “I’m on duty for a while.”
“Oh?” was about all I could spit out. I could feel his heat through my hideously worn AC/DC t-shirt from high school. Again, why did I decide to grab the nastiest pj’s in my possession?
He smiled and just waited. Probably waiting for me to open my big mouth and insert my giant left foot.
Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore. “I just picked up your message. Sorry, I had my phone turned off.” I looked around, at the wall, the ceiling, the seam in my pillowcase. Anywhere really that wasn’t those eyes. Those eyes in my bed staring at me. Shit, I was so screwed. How was I going to keep those walls up with him so damn close. I know he was doing this on purpose but I just couldn’t bring myself to put up much of a fight to get him to leave. The truth was, he felt kind of nice and I was really feeling sorry for myself these days.
“Ok,” he finally spoke.
“Ok? That’s it? Aren’t you going to try to talk me into something I believe I firmly told you wasn’t in the cards for us? Aren’t you going to ask me why I’ve been avoiding you like the plague the past few days? Aren’t you going to tell me all the reasons I’m an idiot?”
In a huff, I flopped my head back down on the pillows and instantly regretted it. Massive head rush and super huge case of vertigo.
“Am I supposed to say all of those things, George? Is that what you want me to say?” he asked.
Shit, I didn’t know what I wanted him to say. Something was going on inside that gorgeous head of his and I really didn’t know what it was. I decided silence was going to be my best option, but silence was so very rarely my option that I found it really, really hard to do.
I was sure he could read me like a book. He started to smile that huge “all in” smile he had and then I knew for sure, he was here on a mission and I was the target.
“So,” he said as he slowly started dragging his finger up and down my forearm. “Tell me something I don’t know about you?”
“What are you doing?”
“We’re starting at the beginning again. I’ve decided to woo you.”
“Woo me? Did you just say that?”
“Yes, I did and you don’t need to be an active participant to start. Just sit back and enjoy the ride, darling.”
“Are you crazy? Did I slip into an alternate universe this week? Remember your talk in the hospital. Where I was, after your psycho fan shot me? Me, broken George? You know what you’re up against?”
“I know,” was all he said. “You’re not broken, but I’m gonna break you. Watch and see. I will make you see who you are in my eyes and what that means. I will make you see that even though you have been given a rough deal in life thus far, I am here to even the scales and prove to you that you do deserve happiness, it won’t make you a bad person and the fact you survived that crash means someone up there was finally listening to what I wanted and sent you to me. Took them bloody long enough, but you’re here, and I am not, by God, letting you get away. So, let’s begin.”
“Um,” was about all I could say.
“I’ll take it. At least you aren’t spitting out reasons this won’t work.”
“Well, Finn-“
He put a finger on my lips. Oh, um, yeah, that felt pretty good. Like I could open my mouth and just have a quick little taste.
“No, that wasn’t an invitation to start coming up with ways to get me to leave, darling. It was simply a statement of momentary good fortune on my part. So, let’s leave it at that and move on to step 1, shall we?” With that he removed his finger and raised his eyebrows like I was supposed to obey like a good little girl.
I mourned the loss of his finger for a moment and then took in a deep breath to get properly in my huff I could feel coming on. Smart guy that he is, he moved in for a step one demo.
A soft, whisper of a kiss. It started out barely there, but I felt the heat from his mouth and made the huge mistake of drawing in a breath. He took advantage of that slight part in my lips and upped the ampage. He had me at an unfair disadvantage. Invalid, unable to move without major effort and I was still slightly asleep. He angled his head in deeper and reached behind my neck with his free hand. Doing all the work for me, he gently raised my head to deepen the kiss.
I felt his tongue skim my lips seeking permission to enter. Well shit, permission granted. I couldn’t do much other than relax into his hand and let it happen. It happened, alright.
He deepened the kiss and his tongue was beginning to send shock waves directly to my core. I had started to forget how good a kiss could really be. It was one of my favourite things to do. A good kiss could curl your toes, release tension and banish all other stressful thoughts. It was something I loved to express on paper, but man, this kiss was something else entirely.
This was lifeline material. It felt like we were caught somewhere, and he was offering me the key to the way out.
His body shifted slightly and in doing so, he freed his right hand and it immediately began exploring my left breast. His thumb tugged and rubbed my nipple raw through my flimsy high school jammy shirt. For once today I was happy to be wearing it in his presence. That worn material was doing wonders for my left nipple. He began to draw circles on it matching the motion that his tongue was making inside my mouth. Gooooood God. It had never felt like this before. This kiss was doing things to me that couldn’t be described. His hand shifted and suddenly a jolt of pain shot through me so violent I cried out.
He jumped off me and gently returned me to the pillow.
“God George, I am so sorry. I wasn’t thinking. God, I’m so, so sorry. I’m an ass.”
“Finn, it’s ok. I’m fine. I just had a sharp jolt of pain, but it’s all gone now. You just had me at a weird angle, that’s all.”
I smiled up at him to reassure him, but his face was etched in worry. I just wanted that face to smile again. “Really, I’m fine.”
“You’re sure?” He asked.
“Yes, I’m sure.”
“Ok, well I promise not to let that get so crazy carried away again. Well, at least until you’ve been home more than one day.” He smiled the smile and my heart did a little flip flop. How did this happen to me? Plain Jane George. Broken and bruised George, sitting here in bed with a hot, famous actor who could have anyone he flashed that smile to and it looked like only wanted me.
“What are you talking yourself out of inside that beautiful head of yours, huh?” He picked up a piece of my hair that had fallen across my face and tucked it behind my ear while he gently took my free hand and began to stoke my thumb. “Stop trying to analyze everything George. Just let life happen for a while, OK, baby?”
Oh, I also loved it when he called me baby. I always thought I wasn’t a baby kind of girl, but it turns out, I was. “I’m not thinking or analyzing anything,” I said.
“You are, and that’s ok. Whatever it is you are concocting in your head, I can overcome it.” He had his cocky smile on now, and I think it was my favourite.
He bent down and placed a sweet, gentle kiss on my lips. “What do you want to do,” he asked.
“Well, probably a big batch of nothing,” I said. “I’m not exactly mobile, in case you haven’t noticed.”
“I noticed and thought maybe I could help you get a little mobile.”
“You’re not carrying me anywhere, Finn.”
“No, well, we’ll see about that. For now, we’ve got to get you dressed.”
“Dressed,” I asked? “For what?”
“Just dressed. I can’t be held responsible for my actions if you stay in that completely see through t-shirt much longer.” He looked away and it was obvious he was not telling me something.
I dug in my heels. “I don’t want to get dressed. I don’t want to go anywhere. You can head home now or wherever it is you need to go. I don’t need a constant babysitter.”
“And she’s back. I know you don’t need a babysitter,” he said. “I’m not babysitting you. We’re going out. On a date.”
“A date? I don’t think so. I just got out of the hospital.”
“A fact I’m well aware of George. I have something to show you. I’m going to do all the work, you just need to get dressed darling.”
Why were his words making me do things against my will? Well, against my better judgement, which seems to have abandoned me lately or when he was around anyway.
I glared at him and he stared me down, clearly an accomplished staring contest participant. He won, easily. I blamed the drugs coursing through me.
“Fine, I’ll get dressed, but I’m going to need some privacy and about an hour to do it as I am moving kinda slow these days.”
“George, I’m dressing you and you’re just going to have to lay there and put up with it. You might even find you enjoy it.”
I sputtered out a response but was so shocked that he had started rummaging through my undie drawer I couldn’t get much of a sentence out. “What are you doing?” I tried to sit up and get out of bed but I was too weak. He just ignored me and continued on his search for my clothes. He went in and out of my drawers and closet and finally came back with his selection.
I glared at him again but he seemed to be immune to my death stare.
“Ok, now this is going to be the hard part baby. You’re going to have to let go of your control issues today. When you’re with me, I’m in control, got it?”
“I so don’t think so Finn. Did you just crawl out of a cave or something?”
He just looked at me and gently went to work. He sat me up and lifted my shirt, being careful not to touch my bandages or move too fast. If I would allow myself to let go and be honest about it, I would admit being taken care of for once in my life felt nice. His big hands, being so soft and gentle as he pulled the shirt up and over my head, made my body feel things that hadn’t been there in a long time.
My arms went up and he pulled the shirt off and there it was. I was there, completely exposed and naked for him to see. We hadn’t been to this stop yet. Was he on or off the bus?
“George, baby, look at me please.”
He gently touched my chin and raised my head so my eyes had no choice but to look into his. Something happened then and I don’t know where it came from or why it chose then to come forward but my eyes pooled with those stupid tears and suddenly they escaped. I had worked so hard for so long to build up my guard against exposing myself and here he was, in a matter of weeks, tearing it all down. And here I was, a blubbering idiot at his first sight of my naked body.
“George,” he whispered. “What are we going to do with you?” He drew me into his chest and wrapped his arms around me as tight as he could without hurting me.
“I’m sorry, Finn. I don’t know what just happened.” My tears had finally slowed but they had left a wet mess on his shirt.
“What just happened was you letting me in just a bit.” He smiled and those eyes shone and I was done. It was all over for my walls. I closed my eyes and leaned in and brushed my lips against his and finally let go.